“You slept with her?” Steel coated his question and the hardness of it shocked me. I assumed he knew… in the same way he knew about my living arrangements. “Miles…”
“Yeah.” I huffed, tugging my hair free and spearing my hand through the tangled mess. “Yeah, and now, I don’t know how to sleep without her.”
“Shit, Miles…”
“I know.” I nodded, hearing his long groan and I could just imagine the look on his face. “Believe me, I know.”
“And does she know?”
I stood and began to walk down toward the water. “She knows I couldn’t promise her anything—that I wouldn’t promise her forever. And she knows about Amanda…”
“You told her about Amanda?” The shock in his voice surprised me.
I realized it had taken me so long to be able to tell my own brother my weakness—my blind trust. No wonder it came as a surprise to hear I’d so easily told Eve. “I did.”
He didn’t say anything for a beat, but I could feel him relaxing over the line. As I stood at the edge of the water, I dragged my toe through the sand, digging random lines like they’ll point me in the direction of my thoughts.
“Would it be so bad?”
“What?” I asked.
“Being in a relationship again. Wanting more.” My mouth thinned but I couldn’t respond. “I mean, as much as I was always the more level-headed out of us.” We both laughed, “You were always comin’ up with the most romantic ideas. I mean, you fuckin’ sold prom proposals junior and senior year to more than half of the two classes.”
I sighed because it was true. I’d given two guys on the football team ideas for asking girls and the next thing I knew, I had a line next to my locker of guys begging for my suggestions. So, I’d started charging a nominal fee—all because I’d heard Amanda mention she’d wanted to ride in a limo to prom to some of the guys on the team.
I saved up all that money, rented the damn limo, and when I told her, she’d been disappointed. Turned out, she only wanted to ride in the limo with the rest of the starting football team. And she only wanted to do that because she wanted to flirt with them.
“Yeah, well, I was foolish. Fairy tale romance doesn’t exist like that, Mick.” I bit back a curse, realizing how it sounded. “I mean, what you and Jules have… that’s somethin’ different. But for me… hell, even for Eve, it’s just dangerous.”
Maybe that’s why I’d stayed away from her from the start. Her romantic notions reminded me of who I was and how easily it was for that kind of person to get hurt.
“I won’t fall for forever again.” I began to trace out the offending word in the sand.
Mick let out a small laugh, like he knew something I didn’t.
“I hate to break it to you, big brother, but sometimes you don’t get a choice in the matter.”
My foot froze, and I stared down to see the words for eve with a stray line trailed off at the end where I’d been about to add the final ‘r’.
“I don’t want to hurt her,” I rasped softly.
“I know, Miles. But I don’t want you to hurt yourself either. And I think you deserve more. Hell, I think you deserve everythin’ Eve wants to give you.”
The lump in my throat grew as I pinched the bridge of my nose, ignoring the spray of water on my legs as Kona joined me and began jumping in the small waves.
“And I think she deserves more than I can give her,” I replied softly. “I think maybe one night was the safest. Now, we can both move on… knowing… and not needing more.”
In the silence, he was disagreeing with me. I heard his arguments just as loudly as though he’d spoken them. Maybe it was because we were twins or maybe because, just like everything else about him, the opinions of Mick Madison were too big to contain.
“Well, the apartment is all yours. For however long you want or need,” my brother said gruffly. “You know you can lean on me for anythin’.”
“Thanks.”
I turned and looked back at my Jeep and the tent I’d thought I’d be fine living out of. And I had been. For weeks. Weeks that could’ve stretched to eternity and gone anywhere. Until today.
Until I looked down and instead of seeing the world drifting farther and farther away from underneath me, like my life was a hot air balloon in flight, I saw tethers to the ground that hadn’t been there before. I saw Kona. I saw Eve. Like fishing wire, the ties were thin but strong. Still, they were something I could break easily if I wanted.
Closing my eyes, I saw more strands forming of a future I hadn’t thought about in a long time. A family. A home. A forever.
With a low growl, I shook my head like it would snap me from the bonds and began to walk back to my Jeep.
“Will I see you today?” Mick asked before I could say goodbye.
“You’re still finishing up that kitchen on Seaside?” Even though the rest of my life might not be together, when it came to our business, I kept everything on track. It was the one thing that kept me going—and kept me from going off the deep end.
“Yeah. Not too much left to do though.”
We’d been working on a massive kitchen remodel for one of the mansions along the scenic drive between Carmel Cove and Monterey and a small snag in the piping had put us half a day behind—which was still two days early for what I’d told the customer.
“Alright, well, if you think you can handle it, I’m goin’ to head over to the Cove Vineyard and get started on the addition to their tasting room. I know I told Danny we’d have to do it after the Blooms project, but since that kitchen, even with the delay, went quicker than expected, I think I can knock it all out by Thursday for her, and then the following week, we’ll start at Blooms.”
A few weeks, that’s all I’d allow.
In Carmel. With Eve.
The past weekend was the beginning of the end. As soon as we were finished with the remodel of Blooms, I’d take my Jeep and move on with the nomadic life I’d been planning.
I knew myself too well—and I knew how much I still wanted her—to think I could avoid her when she was waiting in my reach. I would need a clean break to get over Eve Williams. All I could do was hope the break didn’t extend into my already fractured heart.
My brother’s voice pulled me from my thoughts. “Sounds like a plan. Let me know if you need anything.”
“Yup.”
“And Miles?”
I almost pretended I didn’t hear him and hung up. Almost. “Yeah?”
“I’m just speakin’ from experience, but the harder you fight it, the harder you’ll fall.”
My mouth thinned as I opened the back door to the Jeep, giving Kona an eye to get inside.
“I’ll take my chances,” I snipped and then tacked on, “I’ll talk to you later,” before ending the call.
As I began to pack down the tent and head over to my new apartment for a shower, I thought about the forever I’d abandoned in the sand, leaving for eve, instead.
I wasn’t falling. I was a rock climber, so I knew what falling felt like. I knew what an unsteady grip or misplaced footing could lead to. I’d trained my body to know all the warning signs of an impending fall.
So, I could want her. I could even have her. But there was no way in hell I would fall for Eve Williams.
Eve
Two months rent.
I stared at the piece of paper, trying to stop the tears from welling in my eyes.
I’d found an apartment—just in time as Miles and Mick were to start working at Blooms next week. I’d even managed to put together the first month’s rent with my income from working at the bar the last two weekends. But when I went to sign the lease this morning, the owner pointed out that the security deposit was the first two month’s rent.
Not one.
And that meant I didn’t have enough unless I dipped into my savings—into my dream.
I took another sip of the tea I’d made, sitting cross-legged on my bed. There was already a stack of boxes in the co
rner of the room of some of my stuff, all ready to go. Funny how I thought I’d be unpacking those right now and not sitting back at square one.
I couldn’t tell my sister, that was for sure.
She and my brother were on limited speaking terms right now because she was supposed to be doing this interview tomorrow—the one that everyone but her seemed to think was dangerous. I couldn’t put this on her plate, too.
I let out another unsteady breath.
Really, there were three options. Either I had to see if I could stay with Laurel for another week or two until I found a different place or enough money to rent the one I’d found, assuming it was still available. Or I had to ask Gwen for the same thing.
Or I had to take money from my savings.
I didn’t know which option made me cringe harder.
Folding the paper, I slid off my bed and shoved it in my bag.
Unfortunately, life didn’t wait for me while I figured out my situation, and that meant I needed to get down to the bar and grab a quick snack before my shift started. Normally, I ate here, but I was having this crazy craving for pickles and Benny made this town famous pickle plate that my mouth had been watering for all day.
That, and Miles.
As hard as it had been, I’d walked away after last week and gave him the space he needed to sift through everything that had happened… everything he felt.
Calling out a few goodbyes as I went downstairs, I slipped out the front door quickly before Addy caught me to ask if I’d signed my new lease; I’d made the mistake of telling her I was going to have a new place by the end of the day.
I kept my eyes out as I walked, wondering if Miles would be coming to the Pub tonight. My body instantly tingled with the butterflies of hope.
I still saw him at Roasters—even more frequently this past week if that was possible. But it wasn’t like before. Gone was the mask that tried to hide how much he wanted me. Now, he looked at me with a desire that was blinding. And deafening. And all-around debilitating.
All my years of yoga—of breathing and meditation and practiced calm—seemed nonexistent when he walked into the room. Instead, my lungs, my heart, my mind, it all centered around him.
And he, in turn, made it clear that the ‘one night’ wall that was agreed between us was rapidly crumbling like sand underneath a wave.
One night was all it took to change everything.
“Hey, Benny,” I called, tucking my purse underneath the counter in the back room. “Can I get a pickle plate, please?”
He looked up from behind the stove. “Hey, sure,” he said with a smile.
A few minutes later, I was devouring pickled cauliflower, pickled pineapple, and pickled green beans, moaning in delight.
“You okay?”
I turned to see Benny walking out from the back room, the look of concern on his face making him appear so much like his older brothers. “Yeah.” My brow furrowed. “Why?”
He shrugged and slung a towel over his shoulder, the unofficial mark that the night shift was beginning. “You asked for a pickle plate.”
My head tipped to the side. “And?”
“Pickles usually mean one of two things,” he said with a small laugh. “Problem or pregn—”
“No!” I exclaimed, cutting him off vehemently. “I mean, a small problem. But, I’ll figure it out, I’m sure. I always do.”
His kind expression turned serious, and I knew I’d said too much. Even though Benny wasn’t officially a member of Covington Security, that didn’t alter in the slightest his desire to help and protect the people of this town.
“What happened?” he asked. “Is it Miles? Do I have to talk to him? I swear to God, Eve, if he did something to you—”
“No!” I waved my hands, forgetting completely about my pickles. “No. Definitely not. I just—” I sighed and pressed a hand to my forehead. “The apartment I thought I was signing a lease for today fell through,” I confessed, laughing because the first time saying the words made me want to cry. “It’s not a big deal. I just can’t tell my sister; she’ll feel responsible and guilty, and she’ll push back her plans for Blooms. I’ll find another place. I’ll just live on the beach for two weeks or so,” I finished with a laugh, hoping he would take it as lightly as I tried to make it.
He began pulling out glasses from the dishwasher, holding my gaze. “Do you want to move in here?”
My mouth dropped and I shook my head. “W-What?” I must’ve misheard him.
“There are two apartments upstairs, but I’m only using one,” he informed me. “You’re welcome to take the other one for as long as you need.”
I gaped.
Was it really that easy?
Not that living above a bar—even if it was the Pub—was ideal but for the immediate future, it was better than being hopeless.
Maybe I should just get a tent for my car like Miles had…
I groaned. Yeah, I bet that would look real classy on top of my ninety-two Hyundai.
Before I could answer him, the door opened and Benny moved to greet incoming patrons. Meanwhile, my phone buzzed next to my abandoned pickle plate.
Shoving the last bite in my mouth, I almost choked on the tart treat as I saw who texted. Miles.
I didn’t have the fancy, thumb-scanning new phone so, after typing in my password wrong three times because my excited fingers were too nervous to tap correctly, I finally unlocked the damn thing and read his message.
Aquaman: One more night?
A thrill hummed through my body, blowing out every other sound like the sonic silence before the boom, and I let out a small squeal, clapping my hand over my mouth and glancing around to make sure I wasn’t causing a scene.
My cheeks ached with the stupid-happy grin as I tapped out a reply.
Me: I can come to the cove after work.
I caught Benny’s stare and put my finger up. I think it was probably my giddy face that had him laughing and shaking his head.
Aquaman: No. We aren’t going to the cove.
Aquaman: I’ll meet you at the end of your shift. You aren’t walking anywhere alone.
My heart picked up speed, wondering what he had in store for us at two a.m. besides the obvious. I crossed my legs as I stood, hoping it wasn’t too obvious from the other side of the bar, and quickly tapped out an answer.
Me: You don’t have to do that… Where are we going?
Aquaman: I do.
Aquaman: I don’t take risks with what is mine.
My phone almost dropped from my hand as a shiver jolted up my spine.
I liked when he called me his. Even if it was only for one more night. Because one more was longer than the single one I’d been promised.
The next few hours passed in mayhem. It seemed as soon as I looked up, the pub was crowded with people and the green glow was like a green light that kept me running a marathon behind the bar all night. I’d always found that keeping busy made time go quickly but tonight, no matter how fast I moved, time seemed to pass normally, if not even slower until it was finally the end of the shift.
“Great job keeping up tonight, Eve,” Benny praised as he came to stand by me at the far end of the bar where I was taking stock of the alcohol bottles along the back, measuring the remaining liquid in them like he’d taught me so he knew how much he needed to order.
“Thanks.” My hands planted on my hips, and I let out a relieved laugh.
“Yeah, I hear you,” he agreed.
“Do you have plans tonight?” Keeping up the conversation was easier than listening to the ever-growing beats of my heart as they drummed inside my head.
Benny shook his head.
I didn’t know that I’d ever seen him have plans after working—not that I’d been here that long or even visited as a patron until closing time before.
“Nah, I’ve got a long day tomorrow.”
“Oh? What’s going on?” I jotted down a few numbers in the stocking notebook and then looked up. “Sor
ry, I don’t mean to be nosey. You don’t have to tell me. It’s that point in the night where I have a good excuse for not having the filter that I never possess anyway.”
He let out a bark of laughter. “I’m glad you’re with Miles.”
I froze. “I’m not with Miles. I mean, he… I… we… Well, maybe sort of. But not technically,” I stammered, my face reddening as each uncertain syllable turned the heat up in my body a few degrees. Still, I blurted out at the end, “But why do you say that?”
He just continued to laugh. “Because someone needs to tell him like it is.”
“Oh.”
“He needs someone who has no other setting besides absolute truth,” Benny added more quietly. “And I’m glad that someone is you.”
My blush dulled to a permanent pink tint as I murmured thank you, refraining from saying anything else because I would end up saying too much.
“Anyway, my plans are no giant secret.” He switched gears to respond to my initial question. “I have to help my brothers up at the Covington offices.”
“With the self-defense courses?”
All three boys were trained in Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu and offered camps over the summer for vacationing kids along with classes for adults. About five years ago, when Benny came back here after college, he’d been the one to suggest offering a women’s specific defense class and Addy had sent more than a handful of the Blooms residents there to learn.
I saw his head shake as he began to wipe down the counter.
“No, that’s probably not for another week or two,” he informed me. “I should reach out to your sister and see if she has anyone coming to it though… Anyway, tomorrow, I’m helping them train the new guy they just hired—Jackson.”
“They hired someone? How many people do they have now?”
I knew that Covington Security was small—elite. Carmel Cove was small so it was never really an issue, but I wondered if their belief that the Crown Cartel was claiming part ownership of Rock Beach Resort had them taking precautions for the crimes that followed in the cartel’s wake.
“Ace and Dex are really the only full-time people there ever since Mario left. I’m there as needed. And then there’s only Rocco and Dante.” He sighed. “So, we’ll see how it goes.”
Besotted: An Enemies-to-Lovers Small-town Romance (Carmel Cove Book 3) Page 17