Each and every one of Nirvana’s visitors had their own reason for coming. A lot of them were rich, city folk who wanted to find out what it was like on the other side of the fence, so to speak. They brought their fancy western clothing and shiny boots and wanted to experience nature at its best. A few had never even breathed fresh air.
The workers here at Nirvana had stories to tell too, and most of them liked the fact that they were far away from civilization and the fast track. That’s how most of them landed on the secluded ranch, because they needed to find themselves again.
Ben looked at Maverick, who was leaning against the fence. The thirty-something cowboy wore his past on his harsh expression. He’d lost his wife to an illness six years ago. Further down he saw Jace, who grew up in a home with only his dad, who was an alcoholic. The men knew what it was like to lose. Ben didn’t know all of their stories. Some weren’t as loose-lipped as others.
Ben started working as a ranch hand at Nirvana four years ago. Little did he know when he signed onto the job it would require more than tending horses and stacking bales of hay. It required healing, slowly and gradually. There was something about the countryside that made a person search for answers.
His main duty was to tend the horses and see that the guests were treated with kindness and consideration. He was called a ‘friend’ of many women over the years. Teach a woman riding lessons and how to fish and she wanted to spill every malfunction in her life. He didn’t mind. He’d always been a good listener. Every now and then a guest would flash a set of nice tits and flaunt a nice, tight bottom, but it didn’t ‘move’ him like it once did. He knew they were lonely, and everyone looked good when a person was lonely.
Sex between heartbreaks and hands was against the rules, although Ben knew that sometimes, in a rare case, the workers found themselves caught up and human nature took its irrefutable course. For Ben, he didn’t like mixing personal and professional. He couldn’t say he’d never found himself in the bed of a beautiful heartbreak once or twice, but that was back when he first started, during the first year when the temptation was a lot for a boy from a small town. Now, he had a couple of women from the next town over that he met on occasion, but even that didn’t happen much these days. He was in a slump.
He removed his hat and rubbed his forehead.
“I’m ready for the new heartbreaks,” Dade said as he took a seat on the top rail. “Ready to see people besides all you ugly men.”
Ben shook his head. “When aren’t you ready?”
Dade was the youngest cowboy and had more charm than he knew what to do with. His dimples alone made the ladies swoon, and his naïve, country boy innocence made him a danger to himself at times. He hadn’t quite earned his spurs yet, so to speak. He was a kid in a candy store. Chase used Dade for transporting and errands. Ben knew Dade was in a hurry to advance on the proverbial ladder to success, to become a ranch hand, but the kid didn’t understand that everything looked better from afar.
“Maybe I’ll join you fellas in the ranks soon. I’m ready to do more than meet and greet.” Dade’s eyes twinkled with hope. “I want to teach riding lessons. I could also do crossbow. I heard Chase is adding dance lessons next season. Yeah, I’d be real good at Latin dancing.”
“That’s up to the boss.” Ben wished he had half of Dade’s unabashed excitement. Once upon a time, Ben couldn’t wait for a new season, new opportunities. With age comes maturity. And disappointment.
He considered himself a man with a shoulder to cry on, an ear to listen and a boost to a woman’s bruised ego, here on the ranch or off. But he never allowed his emotions to get involved—or his dick. Some of the men joked that Ben didn’t have any emotions and that’s why he was good as a hand at Nirvana. He didn’t succumb to every pretty woman who batted her eyelashes—and boy did the ladies get out here in the country and get horny. Unfortunately, after an article was published in a prestigious magazine liking Nirvana to “a cowboy orgy” Chase was on a warpath. It was an unfair and unsubstantiated article by a journalist who hadn’t even visited Nirvana. Sure, some lines were crossed at times, but nothing more than what happened at any other R&R anywhere in the world. Get people together and sometimes they wanted to explore something besides the trails.
“I second that, Dade. I’m ready to get this show on the road. I can’t wait for riding lessons with the new paints. The women are always excited to learn to ride.” Jared winked and pounded Dade on the back.
“You keep joking like that and we’re going to start believing you can’t keep your dick in your pants, Jared. And Chase is going to send you packing. It must be the bad boy image and the tattoos that have all the ladies falling.” Maverick chuckled.
“Did I hear the mention of ladies?” Dodge asked as he strolled up and took a seat on a bale of hay. Dodge was an ex-football player turned cowboy. After an injury to his knee during a huge game, he could no longer play. Ben believed the man was still sore, inside and out, over the defeat.
“We were in the middle of pointing out Jared’s talent with the women.” Ben put emphasis on the word ‘talent’. “I’m sure there’s at least one in the new batch who can’t resist his appeal.”
“You say that like it’s a bad thing.” Jared scrubbed his jaw. “A little flirting never hurt anyone.” Jared blew on the back of his knuckles and rubbed them down his plaid shirt.
“We’re hands. Not lovers. Most of these women wouldn’t even look twice at us out on the street. But loneliness can turn a frog into a prince.” Dodge shook his head.
“There are limits to everything, boys.” Chase sauntered over. Salt and peppered hair, pale eyes and a harsh jawline, he had a power about him that warned others that he wasn’t one to mess with. But he was a helluva good boss—the best—and was always fair and easy to talk to. “And Jared, I think sometimes your boundaries are blurred. Good thing that hasn’t become a problem yet. You’re a damn good worker. I’d hate to lose you because you can’t see the lines. Remember, it’s my reputation on the line if you fuck up, so don’t.”
“Has a heartbreak complained?” Jared lifted one thick brow.
“No, on the contrary.” Chase removed his hat and hooked it on the post. “So far, all of the women gush about that purdy tattoo you have on your left cheek. No one seems to mind that you like to skinny dip,” he joked.
Jared smiled ear-to-ear and patted one pocket of his worn jeans. “The bull never lets anyone down.”
Laughter bellowed from the men. The cowboys had become Ben’s friends…more than that though. They were his family, something he’d lost before he came here. They didn’t always get along, and sometimes they were known to throw punches, but they respected each other. Ben knew they had his back, and he had theirs. There was something soothing about the ranch and he was glad to be a part of the change that happened to others—but lately he felt that he was missing something that he couldn’t quite put his finger on.
“On a more serious note, keep in mind, we’re here to offer peace, cater to the guests, teach some skills, not make it worse for them when they leave. If one of the heartbreaks falls in love, it’s your head that’ll roll. I’ve said that to all of the workers.” Chase propped his foot on the bottom rail. He was a large, muscled man and the wood creaked under his brawny frame. Before he bought the ranch, back when he was famous, he took a dirt bath off a mean bull, was hurt pretty bad and retired. He had the scars to prove how tough and rough he’d been. “Now let’s go over the details before the heartbreaks arrive. As you’ve all heard, Townsend is no longer on staff here—“
“What’d he do, break client privilege?” Dodge laughed.
Chase shook his head. “No, he took another job. Plain and simple, nothing sinister involved.”
“He was way too edgy anyway,” Jace added. “A good pussy would have eased his uptight ass—“
“Let’s stop right there.” Chase sighed. “We’re getting off track and if you boys plan on having one last evening out before the
heartbreaks arrive tomorrow, we’d better get this meeting over with. I want you all home and in bed at a reasonable hour. You need your beauty sleep so you can be real purdy for the ladies. And if you want to let the horse out of the corral, this would be the time to get it out of your system. Ain’t one of you that can’t go two weeks without lovin’, no matter what you say.” Chase directed his gaze at Jared who smiled. Chase shook his head and looked at each cowboy. “We have a new life skills coach, she’ll be here this evening. Her name is Sofie.”
“She? Won’t that upset the testosterone thing we’ve got going on here?” Dade asked.
“I think it sounds exactly like what we need. And what the heartbreaks need,” Ben said. “And from what I hear, we’re lucky to get her. She was a coach to celebrities a while back.”
Chase nodded. “I happen to agree. That’s why I hired her. You boys’ll have to keep your pants on outside of your cabins. Pull back on the cursing and rubbing of crotches. Show some respect. We don’t want to send her packing before she even gets started.”
“I finished up the repairs on her cabin yesterday. New wood flooring, curtains. Made it look more girly like you asked, boss.” Jace was an exceptional carpenter and handled all of the repairs at the ranch.
“Sounds great. I took a look earlier and it meets my satisfaction. Can’t say I know much about what a woman fancies in home decoration, but she can change what she doesn’t like.” Chase’s jaw tightened and he rubbed his temple.
Ben noticed that Chase was a little tense. Ben considered the man a good friend and wondered if the article still bothered him. Maybe they’d get a chance to talk.
“How many new cattle did we get, boss?” Maverick asked.
“A dozen head. We also have new horses for the heartbreaks to ride, as you know. Thanks to Ben, he’s made new saddles for a few of the horses. Ben got the new cart since his bit the dust.” The men nodded and mumbled recognition to Ben then turned their attention back to Chase. “You’ve all been assigned your new duties. I think we should plan to make this the best season of all. We have five new heartbreaks who’ll be arriving throughout the day tomorrow. While they’re here we give them privacy. Anything they need, we get it for them. Let’s make them feel welcome. Motley has a new menu for you boys, too. He’s on a health food kick.” Moans were heard from the group. Chase handed a folder to each of them. “Take a quick glance over the bios so you’ll know the ladies’ names. Any questions?”
Silence.
“Since no one is speaking up, I’ll take that as we’re all briefed and ready. Now, enjoy your evening, boys, and be safe. If I have to come and bail any of you out of jail, I’ll dock pay for a month. Got that?”
Nods and mumbles of understanding came from the men.
The meeting was adjourned and the cowboys cleared out, ready to head to the hangout in town where they always gathered the night before the heartbreaks visited.
“Hey, Chase. Got a moment?” Ben said.
“Not much more than a minute.”
“You doing okay?”
“You know how hectic things get around here before our guests arrive. If it’s not one thing, it’s another.” Ben sensed there was more but he didn’t pressure Chase. “I should be asking you if you’re holding up. You don’t seem yourself,” Chase said.
“Can’t say things are much different, but you know I always give each day one-hundred percent.”
“You know that’s not what I’m asking, man.” Chase narrowed his gaze. “Men come into this job feeling like they’re on top of the world, but we all know it comes with burn out. Some reach that stage quicker than others. You’ve gotta face the fact that maybe your time to move on is coming. It’s possible you want more for yourself. Time to go out in the world. Step back into real life. Start a family.”
“Is that your way of telling me you want me to pack up and head out?” Ben leaned on his elbows.
“Hell, don’t mince my words. You’re the best cowboy we have here. It’ll be hard to find a cowboy to fill those boots of yours, that is, if you decide to leave. See how this season goes and make a decision.” He pushed off the fence. “If you need to talk, stop in my office. Ya hear?”
Ben nodded and sat down on a hay bale.
Eventually, Ben opened the folder and skimmed each heartbreak’s brief information. Part of the registration process was that participants filled out a basic form and were asked a series of questions. Each registrant was required to send in a recent profile picture with their packet of material.
He flipped through the professional headshots of the women until he came to one. He took the photo out from the small stack.
He found her bio. Cara. Thirty. A Texas resident. Loves animals and vintage clothing.
The brunette with the pale complexion had the biggest, saddest blue eyes he’d ever seen. She didn’t quite look into the camera lens as she took the selfie. Was she shy and uncomfortable? These days, women, and men, were selfie crazy, but not this woman. He found her coyness refreshing.
Something in her expression reminded him of his past. He’d buried that part of him, but with the slightest reminder, those memories dashed to the forefront of his existence like a jackhammer in his head.
He didn’t like taking a stroll down memory lane. When old emotions were kindled, he’d go out and work his ass off on the land. It worked better than a good drunk did.
Closing the folder, he wedged it under his arm and stood.
“Hey, Ben. Are you coming tonight?” Maverick asked from the barn door.
Ben opened his mouth, ready to say no, but then he thought better of it. All of his work was done and he needed to get away, not sit around thinking of the past. “Yes.”
“We’re leaving in thirty.”
“Okay. Meet you in the parking lot.”
Maverick disappeared and Ben inhaled the sweet scent of freshly mowed grass and hay. He looked up and his thoughts rushed back to the woman, Cara. Her eyes were as light as the sky and as mesmerizing.
He walked toward his cabin at the end of staff row. Once inside, he tossed the folder onto his full sized bed and strode inside the small bathroom to splash his face with cold water. When he came back, his gaze automatically shifted to the bio folder.
What the hell was wrong with him?
What did he recognize in this Cara woman’s eyes that reminded him of the pain he’d suffered years ago?
Hell, he had his own story to tell.
Laura, his teenage sister, had gone riding one morning, something she did all of the time, and was thrown from her horse’s back. Ben would never know for sure what happened while she was riding, but when he found her later, she was lifeless. The image of her body would be branded in his brain forever.
The guilt was a plague.
Laura had asked him to go riding with her, but he’d been too busy with work. He told her to wait until later, but stubborn and headstrong, she’d decided to go alone. The blame had eaten him alive for so long. If he’d gone with her, she’d still be alive, he was certain.
His chest tightened and he dropped onto the bed, the springs squeaked under his weight. He’d left his parents’ home with only a small bag of his belongings and a heart full of sadness. He’d hitchhiked his way across Wyoming, and by chance met Maverick at a roadside diner. He told Ben about Nirvana and the opportunities.
Seeing that he had nothing to lose and nowhere else to go, he joined Maverick. Ben had expected that when he arrived at Nirvana, Chase would send Ben packing. Instead, Chase had invited him to stay. They were expanding and needed hardworking cowboys.
In time, Ben had been able to bury some of his pain and guilt. He’d found a place here at Nirvana and hadn’t been home but a few times since he’d left.
There were moments when Ben hated to admit the truth, but he was lonely. Not a loneliness of solitude because he was always surrounded by great people, but one that came with not having someone to laugh with or share life’s issues with—like what his
parents shared. They loved each other dearly.
Ben hoped that one day he’d find his soul mate, but he was starting to think he didn’t have one—not that he’d find the one here on a ranch in the middle of nowhere. Women came and went. They used the ranch as a stepping-stone into their future, to learn a new skill or to getaway, not to find Mr. Right. No woman would want a cowboy who didn’t even own his own ranch.
Chase’s words of wisdom came to Ben’s mind. He needed to make some personal decisions. At times over the past year, he thought about leaving Nirvana. But where would he go?
He could go back home to his family’s ranch, but he knew it wouldn’t be the same. Although his mom and dad never placed the guilt on his shoulders for Laura’s death, they didn’t need to. Seeing their sadness had killed Ben.
He could buy a piece of land and call it home, but that could be a problem. Though they were paid here on the ranch, part of their salary was for lodging and food, and when it came to actual money, Ben hadn’t saved up a lot.
Another option was to apply for a job in a saddle shop. He loved working with leather, making belts and saddles. It was something he did when no heartbreaks were at the ranch. He’d discovered his love for leather one winter season. The ranch was quiet and covered in a blanket of snow, the silence was deafening. He had cabin fever and needed something to do with his time—with his hands. He found a book in Maverick’s small library and read up on how to work with leather. He bought the supplies, learned the trade, and was hooked.
Sometimes he thought it was all a dream, to deliberate doing more, leaving his home of the last four years. To think there was more outside of the ranch was a risk. He’d built a safety net here and he could think of far worse places to be. So he guessed he should consider himself lucky that he had landed here at the bleakest time of his life.
Cowboy Paradise (Cowboys of Nirvana Book 1) Page 2