“Y-Yes. I’ve just never imagined…”
“Most people don’t,” he whispered next to her ear. He reached for the reins. He had to have his arms around her and he didn’t mind one bit. They fit perfectly in the saddle, her bottom nestled between his thighs. He hoped his body behaved. “Consider this your first riding lesson.”
Leading the horse across the yard and to the gravel lane, her body relaxed some and she slowly leaned into him as if she was giving in. Oh, Lord! She smelled so damn good, and felt even better. He’d held sexier women—women who’d practically thrown themselves at him and he hadn’t felt this much activity or desire. He was realizing just how needy he was for a woman’s touch. His cock shot alive, making his jeans fit too tight. He wondered if she noticed his rise and it only made the ache turn to a throbbing. Thankfully, Sofie’s office wasn’t far because much longer and he’d do exactly what he wanted since he saw her picture. Kiss her panties right off her.
“This isn’t too bad,” she said. He caught the interest in her tone.
“One of the biggest pleasures in life is riding.” Why did his words come off as an insinuation when he meant it clean? Probably because his mind was in the gutter.
“I’d like to learn to ride myself, before I leave. I really think this is soothing.” She splayed her fingers across her jean-covered thighs. She had slender fingers and her nails were neat and short.
“We can arrange that.” He liked her fresh take on riding. She was cute and he couldn’t stop from smiling. He had a feeling she’d been in a bubble and this was the most fun she’d had in a long time.
“Where are all of the other visitors? I haven’t seen one since I’ve arrived.” She looked around.
“We have three hundred acres of land here. Each treehouse is spaced far enough apart for solitude. There’s a good chance you’ll pass some of the other women while you’re here, but there usually isn’t any face-to-face meetings. Depends on how active the guests are.”
“I’m guessing there are only a few women here?” She turned her cheek and he got a good look at her profile. Her thick lashes were long and her nose was pert.
“Just five,” he answered. She was the first in a long time that had this many questions. Most heartbreaks didn’t care who else was staying at Nirvana just as long as they were taken care of. “Believe it or not, most visitors want the seclusion. They like feeling like this place is all theirs. They can be themselves without the public eye.”
“Do each of the visitors have their own cowboy…I mean, helper? What do you call yourselves anyway?” The tip of her tongue came out and swept across the perfect bow of her bottom lip.
“Most days I’m a ranch hand, but if it makes you feel better, you can call me your cowboy.” He chuckled. “The hands help the ladies get from point A to B. We also introduce them to new skills, depending on what they want to try their hand at. Most of us are pretty good at riding, crossbow and fishing. Things like cooking, massage and anything dealing with nails and toenails we have professionals on contract. They come out on certain days of the week.”
“And the cowboy, Dade, he said he doesn’t ‘help’ yet.”
“Yes. He’s a great kid, but still has a lot to learn. If you haven’t noticed, he tends to talk a lot, which sometimes goes against the peace guests want,” he said with a chuckle.
“I’m sorry. I guess I’m asking too many questions. My husband didn’t like when I asked a lot of questions.” Her shoulders tightened.
“Cara, no apologies, remember?”
“Okay, I’ll remind myself.”
“Are you still married? I don’t see a ring.”
She stiffened some. “No, I’m a widow.”
He was real glad that she wasn’t hitched, which had nothing to do with him. He was sorry for her loss, though. ”Don’t worry. Ask me anything and I’ll always answer, if I can.”
“I think I’m good for now. Thank you.”
The remainder of the ride was quiet.
He should have been happy when they made it to Sofie’s office, but he was filled with disappointment. He’d never take advantage of a situation but he liked her being close. He slid off the horse and then helped her down, taking his time before releasing her.
“Thank you, Ben.”
“I didn’t do much.”
Most of the color had returned to her cheeks. “Whether you know it or not, it took a lot for me to get on that horse. A few days ago, I would have refused.”
“Then I’m glad I could be of service.” He reached out, touched her hand, and she jumped. Her eyes narrowed and her lips thinned. The pain he’d seen in the picture returned and he hated pushing her too far. He backed off, grabbed Nellie’s reins, tightening his fists on the leather. “Sofie will keep you for an hour and then I’ll be back to get you.”
She started to turn but stopped. “Are you the one, I mean, the only one who’ll be with me—I mean, helping me…transporting me?”
He smiled. “Yes, I will, unless that’s a problem.” He hoped it wasn’t because he couldn’t stand the thought of one of the other cowboys getting to sit in a saddle with her.
“No, that’s fine. In fact, I sort of like that idea.” She turned and walked the narrow sidewalk.
He watched her, liking the gentle sway of her hips. Once she was inside, he got back into the saddle. He had sixty minutes to do something about his erection.
Chapter Five
Cara liked the life skills coach, Sofie. It was different, and a little awkward talking to someone she’d never met, but Sofie instantly made Cara feel welcome.
Sofie was a beautiful, petite woman who was pretty enough to be featured on the front cover of a magazine. Her makeup was in place and her black hair hung in a silken wave over her shoulders. She was friendly, yet professional. Cara wondered why Sofie wanted to be here, in the middle of nowhere, talking to women about rebuilding their lives? Cara knew first impressions could be wrong, but Sofie appeared sophisticated and there wasn’t one spot of dirt anywhere on her. Not what Cara would expect of staff here on a ranch.
“You’re the first visitor I’ve seen here at Nirvana.” Sofie picked up a pad of paper, pen, and slid a pair of dark-framed glasses on. “So what are you thinking of your experience so far?” Sofie pushed her glasses further up her nose.
“I’m thrown for a loop. Treehouses, beautiful cowboys, horse rides. Makes me wonder what’s in store for me from here on out.” Cara sat back in the smooth brown leather chair and noticed the picture hanging on the wall—a cherub holding an arrow.
Sofie smiled, showing off a row of toothpaste-ad teeth against her olive complexion. “I looked over the questionnaire you sent in with your application. I believe it was very brave of you to answer all of the questions honestly. I know a lot of applicants don’t.”
“How do you know that I did?” Cara smoothed her hands down her jeans.
“I think I’m a pretty good judge of character and, yes I’ve only just met you, but I can tell you’re honest. And I want to help you in rearranging your life, give you skills to make life easier. For me to do that, I’ll need you to trust me. And I feel trust is something you very seldom do. You stated that you haven’t slept well in years.”
“I’m not sure it’s fixable. I’ve tried with no luck,” Cara admitted.
“You’ve already trusted me enough to disclose that bit of information.”
Cara nodded. “I guess you’re right. I want to be open-minded. I want to learn to trust again so that I can move forward.”
“Then let’s work toward that goal. There are relaxation techniques I can suggest.”
“I think I’ve tried most, nothing has worked.” Cara crossed a leg over the other and tapped her fingers on the armrest.
“But not in this environment. Not with nature’s help, which is a natural stress reliever. I have to point out that I saw you and Ben riding together. You looked very comfortable. I think you trusted him enough to let him ride in the saddle with
you.”
“I don’t know if that was trust, or for the simple reason that I couldn’t get my tongue or brain to work to turn him down,” Cara answered.
Sofie chuckled. “I can see that. The men here bring a whole new light to being a gentleman.”
“I need to ask. Do you share what we talk about with the others?”
“Are you asking if I speak to Ben about what steps we talk about?” Sofie asked. Cara nodded. “No, I don’t talk to the cowboys about what I learn.”
Cara felt relief. She didn’t want Ben, or anyone for that matter, to see her as the victim. She wanted to be the survivor. “That’s good. For me to trust I have a feeling I’m going to have to tell you the reason why I don’t.”
“Sometimes sharing is the first step in relaxation.”
“Okay.”
“First, I’ll pour you a cup of green tea. It’s very healthy, especially with a bit of honey.” Sofie got up and crossed the room to where an elegant china teapot sat beside two cups on a tray. She filled both and came back, handing Cara one.
Cara sipped at the hot brew. “Wow…delicious.”
“Let’s get started with some practical ideas for relaxing. And I’ll give you some information on essential oils and massage therapy. How does that sound?”
“Terrific.”
When the hour was over, Cara left the office and found Ben leaning against a golf cart, waiting. His Stetson was pulled low to shade his eyes from the sun, but his grin told a long story, and her heart wanted to turn the page of his book. It was dangerous to think this was anything more than Ben doing his job. Parts of her swayed like a ship sailing the ocean, uncertainty still at the forefront of her thoughts. But she liked how he was a gentleman, just as Sofie had pointed out.
“Where’s Nellie?” She searched for the horse.
“Nellie is grazing the field. I have brought a new ride.” He padded the side of the cart.
“How many rides do you have?” Once the words left her lips, she realized how they must have sounded. It didn’t help that her gaze automatically slipped to the big silver belt buckle at his waist.
“Although I aim to please, I do I have my limitations.” He motioned for her to take the passenger seat.
She climbed in and waited for him to take the driver’s seat. “Where are we headed?”
“It’s a surprise.” He turned the key and the engine’s soft purr came alive.
She’d never liked surprises, that is, until she met Ben.
As they headed out on the rocky lane, she admired how the sun’s rays filtered through the trees. The fields were overgrown and spotted with wildflowers. She sat back and thought about her meeting with Sofie. Cara understood now what Deidre had meant when she said it would do Cara good to talk to someone with new ideas about learning to relax.
Sofie had many suggestions, some Cara wasn’t sure she could follow, but she wanted to try.
It was high time she left boring, protected Cara behind and lived her life. She wouldn’t know anyone at Nirvana, and once she left she wouldn’t see them again. This was her time to enjoy herself. Flirt like single women do. Laugh. Play. Enjoy the view…
She looked across the small space at Ben’s profile. It didn’t get much better than this.
While sitting in the chair in Sofie’s office, the thought of Ben hadn’t left her mind. The way their bodies had touched in the saddle. His arms around her…his warmth. His hard—
“Here we are.” Ben pulled over beside a field.
She cleared her throat. “Looks pretty.”
“You haven’t seen anything yet.” He wiggled his brows.
“I don’t think much can top what I’ve already witnessed.”
He reached into the backseat and uncovered a basket. “You didn’t eat breakfast, so I hope you’re hungry for lunch.”
“We’re having a picnic?”
“That’s the biggest smile I’d bet you had in a long time.”
She slid from the cart and tugged her shirt down her hips. “There’s something about the fresh air here that makes my mood brighter.” And the company, yet she didn’t say it aloud. Sofie suggested Cara should start saying what she wanted to, considering she was never allowed to in her marriage. Sofie said that holding things in could lead to stress and lack of sleep. Cara wasn’t quite ready to be that aggressive.
“Okay. We have two choices. We can stay close or we can walk a little piece to a spectacular view. Only problem is, I can’t take the cart through the field. Are you able to walk in those shoes?”
“I want to see the spectacular view,” she said without hesitation.
“Will I need to carry you?” One thick brow lifted over curious eyes.
Was he teasing her? “I can walk.” Having him carry her might just take her to the brink of insanity. Riding in the saddle with him had triggered areas of her body to come alive—places she didn’t even know she had. And she could have sworn the hard bulge she’d felt in her back during their horse ride hadn’t been the belt buckle. It couldn’t be possible that he was turned on by simply being near her. Oops, she was already breaking Sofie’s directions. Cara had to work on her self-esteem. No putting herself down.
That was easier said than done.
“Let’s go then and feed you. We have to keep your strength up while here on the ranch.”
Ben walked next to her across the field which seemed very unusual to Cara. James had always walked at least three paces ahead of her wherever they were. She had to keep in mind she couldn’t judge all men and their actions by how James had treated her. He had been a poor example of a man with little regard to anyone’s feelings but his own.
She would rise above all of the damage left behind from his storm. She was stronger than James and his memory.
Cara wasn’t sure how far they’d walked, and she didn’t care. She loved the outdoors and never realized how much until coming here. She’d gone camping a few times as a kid, and played outside a lot back when she was young, but the peaceful serenity she found here was calming. Birds chirped overhead. A gentle breeze cooled her skin and it was easy to fantasize that she and Ben were the only two people on this lovely ranch. For now, she reveled in the idea that he was with her.
“What’s that noise? Is that water?” she asked.
“Just a bit further.” They walked in silence a little while longer and then Ben stopped on the grassy knoll. “And here we are.”
A waterfall streamed from a bed of rocks falling into the pool of clear water. “It’s simply amazing, Ben. No words can describe the beauty.”
“I say let’s eat and then we can go down to the water’s edge. Hungry?”
“Yes.” While she stood staring at the exquisiteness of the scenery, Ben laid out a blanket. The smell of something delicious pulled her attention to the variety of food. “Actually, I’m ravenous.” She sat down on the edge of the blanket and looked at the choices he’d brought. “It all looks yummy.”
“Since I didn’t know what you’d like, I brought veggies and hummus. Cheese and crackers. And dessert.” He held up a plastic container and shook it lightly. “Who can resist a strawberry dipped in chocolate?”
He removed the plastic from the plate of cut up vegetables. A variety of cheese was in a clear container. “Ben, did you make all of this?”
“I’d love to say I did, but you’d soon find out that I’d lied. Our cook, Motley, is a master in the kitchen.”
“Yes, Dade mentioned his name. And I read about him on Nirvana’s website. It’s amazing that the ranch has such a wonderful variety of people on staff.”
“What can I say? This place is a bit of heaven tucked away, untouched by the evils of everyday living.” She found Ben’s words curious, but didn’t ask. He popped a cherry tomato into his mouth. “When I told Motley to whip up something special for a pretty lady, this is what he gave me. He told me you should definitely try his hummus.” He pointed to a plastic bowl.
She took a carrot stick and dippe
d it into the dish. Chewing, she smiled. “Oh my, that’s the best hummus I’ve ever eaten.”
“Never had it.” Ben grabbed a carrot, dipped it and tossed it into his mouth. He shrugged. “Not bad. He’ll like to know you’re impressed.” She tucked her legs up under her as he handed her a bottle of water. “I would have brought a bottle of wine, but I didn’t want you to think I was seducing you.” He winked.
“I wouldn’t think that. Not in a million years.” Her hair was falling down, and instead of tucking the strands of hair back into the bun for the umpteenth time, she removed the pins and let it flow freely.
He was staring again. After a good three seconds, he scrubbed his jaw and shifted. “Why wouldn’t you think that I’d be seducing you?”
She shrugged. “Because, well, I’m me and you’re you.”
“That makes about as much sense as me dumping this food over my head would.”
Laughing, she shook her head. She wasn’t allowed to put herself down so it was best to change the subject. “Besides the work, why did you come here?” she asked.
His eyes shielded. “It seemed like a nice place to get away from the world.” He uncapped his water and drank half.
“This certainly is the place to get away. I’d imagine it could get quite lonely around here during off time. The brochure said the ranch is closed to visitors during winter months.”
He nodded. “Some can withstand the lonely months and some don’t.”
“And how long have you been here?”
“A few years.”
“So is that a long or a short time?” She ate another dipped carrot.
“Not as long as many of the men,” he said. “Enough about me. Why are you here?” He stretched out on the blanket.
“Probably for the same reason as the others.” She wasn’t sure how far down this path of conversation she wanted to go, but considering she wanted to know more about him, she’d have to answer questions of her own.
“I have a feeling that’s not accurate.”
“I wanted a change of scenery. I wanted to focus on myself, away from everyone who knows me.”
Cowboy Paradise (Cowboys of Nirvana Book 1) Page 6