Ben couldn’t wait to get his hands on the massage therapist.
****
Cara heard the soft rap on her door and excitement gurgle up inside of her, but quickly fizzled when she opened it to find a stranger on her doorstep.
“Hello, Cara.” He tipped his hat and grinned.
“And you are?” She searched the porch, looking for Ben.
“Maverick.” He tipped his hat. He had a friendly smile, but she couldn’t seem to concentrate on anything but her swirling confusion.
“What are you doing here? Where’s Ben?”
“Something came up.”
She swallowed the ache in her throat. “Nothing came up. Please don’t lie.” The last thing she needed was another lie, as if she was too weak to handle the truth. He stayed silent. “Oh, so he told you not to tell?”
Maverick scuffed the toe of his boot across the wood. “Look, ma’am, Ben’s a good man. If he felt he done you wrong in some way, well, he wants to do right by you. I don’t know what happened, just for some reason he felt this was for the best.”
His embarrassment was obvious by his concerned expression. She knew it’d be useless to try to get information from him. The cowboys probably had some brotherhood pact, protecting each other. She didn’t need to know what chased Ben away. He was too humiliated to face her.
Why did it hurt her that he didn’t come? It shouldn’t. She wasn’t here at Nirvana to strike up a relationship. She was here to grow. To learn new life skills. To enjoy nature—not a sexy cowboy.
Breathing in deeply, she exhaled and tried to push away thoughts of Ben. “You’re here to take me to my life skills appointment?” she asked.
“Yes. And you’re scheduled for a manicure right after.” He gave her a quick nod. “I’ll wait for you in the cart.” His smile was weak as he turned and headed down the stairs.
Cara closed the door and leaned against the cold wood. She was at a cross between two emotions, and neither was safe. She wanted to throttle Ben. Things got a little out of hand and he runs away? Or did he find touching her so disgusting that he couldn’t bear to see her again for risk that she’d expect more?
She made her way to the bed and sat down. Tears developed in her eyes and she blinked them away. She wanted to believe that Ben went away because he was scared of the attraction, and not revolted that things had gone so far.
Had she read too much in his touch? His kindness? She thought she’d felt the trembling in his touch, the reaction that proved he was turned on. He’d found her as exciting as she’d found him. Didn’t he?
The poor self-esteem within her rose to an ugly head. Rejection sliced through the thin layer of confidence she’d built in the short time at Nirvana.
Cara wasn’t clever or knowledgeable when it came to matters like these. James had been the only man who’d ever touched her, so not having any comparison except to him, she thought a hard on equaled desire. James had never responded to her like Ben had. He’d looked at with lust, not disgust.
She was still angry when Maverick dropped her off at Sofie’s office. And when she asked what was wrong, the dam broke, tears streamed down her cheeks, and Cara told her everything—her close call with Ben. ”I’m confused. I really didn’t expect to come here and meet someone who made me feel like I’m hot soup on the inside. The brochure didn’t say anything about sexy cowboys who make you want things we can’t have.” She accepted the box of tissues Sofie handed her.
And once Cara’s string of words silenced, Sofie placed her pen and notepad on the table, and pulled off her glasses. Her eyes were full of understanding. “Cara, I think all of the guests come here for their own reasons, whether to get away from the city, to salve a broken heart, or to heal. Even just to rest. I’ve been told by one of the guests that hiking the trails has made her feel better than she has in years. She was diagnosed with cancer a few years back and is in remission. Another said she went fishing for the first time and it was an adventure. Imagine laughing because you caught a fish. Nature has a way of helping us, connecting us to the root of who we are.”
“It is refreshing being here. I never would have believed it possible. Before bed last night I tried one of the relaxation techniques and essential oils. I slept good,” Cara said, her tears finally drying up. “I’m probably overthinking this thing with Ben.”
“You’re attraction for Ben might be because you’re lonely, or it could be because you two have chemistry. But whatever the reason, there’s nothing wrong with feeling a sexual attraction for someone. Ben is nice to look at and he has a heart of gold. And being nice isn’t his job. It’s who he is. You are fighting the demons lurking within you. Trust me, it’ll get worse before it gets better. What are you wanting, Cara? What would be a small goal you can give yourself, something you desire at this moment to help you get life back in order?”
Cara swallowed the growing lump in her throat. She was a little embarrassed to be honest, but knew no change came with dishonesty. “I want to feel pretty.” She gave her head a shake. “Not just pretty. I want to feel sexy. Truth is, I haven’t had my hair done in years. I couldn’t even begin to tell you the last time a beautician has cut my hair. And my clothes—” She tugged at the strings on the jean cut offs. “I haven’t gone shopping in just as long. I know what works for others, but not for myself.”
“You’d like a physical change as well as emotional.”
Cara sighed. “Physical?”
“A makeover,” Sofie said.
“I guess so. I used to watch those shows where women who were stuck in a fashion rut were invited to buy new clothes, a new look.” Cara sniffed loudly. “I imagined myself giving others a makeover, but never myself.”
“It’s difficult to put oneself in the center of their universe when we’ve been made to feel we don’t deserve it. I’m here to help you build the skills to overcome some of those challenges, to learn to live again.”
“You’ve helped me so much in such a short time.”
“Not that there’s anything wrong with your appearance, but pampering not only helps the outside, it also helps the inside. In fact, I feel the same as you do at times.” Sofie smiled.
Cara blinked. “You feel the same as I do? You’re very pretty, you dress nice, and your makeup is always perfect.”
Sofie shrugged. “Those are just outside things. A perfect shell doesn’t mean it has no internal flaws.” She slid to the edge of her chair. “You know what I think. We should give you a little of that pampering I’m talking about. I know you are scheduled for a manicure and pedicure later so why not give everything a polish? Are you up for it?”
“I-I guess I’m willing to try anything.”
“Then come along.” Sofie stood, took Cara’s hand and led her to the back stairs in the office. “I grew up with a house full of sisters. We didn’t have any money so we always did each other’s hair, makeup, and nails. Considering I call myself a fashion junkie, and you’re already a natural beauty, I can play up your look.”
Cara followed Sofie upstairs and she slid open the door to her walk-in closet. Cara had never seen so many clothes and shoes in all her life. “Are these all yours?”
Sofie laughed. “Yes, these are all mine.”
“Where would you wear these things out here in nowhere land?” Cara touched a silk scarf hanging from a hook on the door. “This is a Virginia Johnson scarf. It’s beautiful, and very expensive.”
“Before I came here I had use for these things. Not much anymore. I’m more than willing to share.” Sofie searched through the closet and pulled out a black dress. “I’m guessing we’re about the same size.”
“Oh, no. I’m sure you’re much skinnier—“
Sofie’s brows snapped together. “You really don’t see yourself as others do. Here. Take this.” She shoved the dress into Cara’s hands. “Try this on. I’ll gather some other things while I’m at it.”
“I can’t do this. I can’t try on your clothes,” Cara hooked the han
ger on the doorknob.
“Why ever not? These things will only go to waste.” Sofie grabbed the dress off the hanger and gently took Cara’s elbow, leading her to the bathroom. “Go on and give this a shot.”
Reluctantly, Cara agreed.
“But wait just a second.” Sofie strolled to the closet and came back with a basket. She held it out for Cara to look in.
She picked up red material from the basket and held it up in curiosity. “What is this?” She fiddled with the strings.
“Panties, silly. A thong to be precise.” Sofie dropped the basket by her feet, took the panties from Cara and held them stretched between two fingers. “See.”
Cara’s cheeks flamed. “Yes, I guess I do.”
“Take anything you want from the pile,” Sofie offered.
“Okay, thank you, but I have to draw a line at wearing your underwear.” Cara shook her head.
“These aren’t my underwear, at least not technically. I’ve never worn them. They are new. A woman can only wear so many pairs of underwear in a day’s time, and most days I go camo. Having a string in my bottom never flew over well with me.” Her eyes twinkled.
“The problem is, I don’t think I’ll have any more use for any of these things than you do right now.”
“Call this black lace therapy, honey.” Sofie picked up another tiny thong from the basket and twirled it around her finger. “Women get it in their head that the only reason they should dress sexy is to please a man. What madness. The first, and only person, a woman needs to pleasure is herself. And with that comes such liberation that men take notice and can’t keep their hands to themselves.” Sofie wagged her brows. “And this, Cara, is where fantasies are made. Pick yourself out a few items.” She smiled. “Then I’ll show you why my sisters told me I missed my calling as a beautician. No one can curl hair like I can.”
Cara stared at the mound of lingerie, not sure where to begin.
After grabbing a black pair of lace panties, she went into the bathroom and tried on the dress. It was lovely. The neckline dipped into her cleavage—cleavage she’d forgotten that she’d had until now. The fabric smoothed over her hips and the hem reached three inches above her knee. There was already a transformation.
“Are you going to show me?” Sofie yelled through the door.
Shyly, Cara stepped out. “It might be a little too tight.”
“Are you kidding?” Sofie smiled, showing off straight white teeth. “You look better in it than I ever did.”
“I know you’re only saying that to make me feel better.” Cara self-consciously tugged at the material at her stomach.
“Are we looking at the same person? Come here.” Sofie motioned for Cara to stand in front of the full-length mirror. Unenthusiastically, Cara did. “You have a lovely shape. If I had what you have up top, I’d be showing them off on a regular basis. But we make the best of what we have and I don’t run three miles a day just for the fun of it.” She twirled around in front of the mirror and wiggled her bottom. It was obvious by her tight frame that she worked out religiously.
Cara laughed. It was nice to have a female’s company, something she didn’t have much of back home.
“I think I know exactly what would look good on you.” Sofie walked to the rack, dug into the mass of clothing and pulled out another dress—a one-shoulder, red laced dress that looked like it’d fit one thigh and not her entire body.
“Apparently, you haven’t noticed my thunder thighs.” Cara sighed.
Sofie snorted. “Honey, we all feel that way at times. We all get bloated. Sometimes I think I’m revisiting my teen years with the break outs. And a muffin top only means more to love. Now, go try this on and let me know what you think.” Sofie pushed Cara toward the bathroom. “And while you’re in there, work on the self-esteem with positive thoughts, and nothing negative.”
Inside the bathroom with the head to floor mirror and bright lighting, Cara felt like she was a cold splash of water. She stood there for the longest time, eyeing the slip of a dress with confusion. She knew very well if anyone besides her wore the dress, she’d think they looked lovely. And taking heed to Sofie’s self-esteem reminder, Cara searched for the things she did like.
Her breasts were high and firm.
Her stomach wasn’t flat, but like Sofie said, there was more to love. Cara’s hips were shapely.
Up until now, she’d thought her legs were short, but they appeared long and toned. Walking to and from work every day had paid off.
The red color set off her dark hair and made her eyes look bluer.
She’d never worn anything like this before, not even in her dreams. She smoothed her hands down the soft fabric, amazed that it actually did fit.
The outfit was lovely. The tempting mix of lace and delicate design accented her curves in all of the right places. Amazingly, she felt different…sexier.
A giggle burst from her in excitement.
“I’m going to take that as you love the outfit,” Sofie said from outside the door.
“Yes, yes I do. How did you know?” Cara asked, still running her hands over the fabric.
“Let’s just say I saw you as a short, red dress kind of girl. And don’t put your clothes on yet. I have something else for you to try. You can wear this outfit while you’re here on the ranch.” Sofie opened the door and handed over more clothing.
“What’s this?”
“Every woman needs a pair of short shorts.”
“This isn’t my style.” Cara pushed them back through the open door, but Sofie didn’t accept.
“Try them on. It’s just a pair of shorts and a silk top. You never know what your style is until you give it a try.”
With Sofie’s encouragement, Cara did as requested. It wasn’t bad—not bad at all.
By the time Cara walked out of Sofie’s office, she had a large bag of clothing, and a head full of curls and positive thoughts.
Maverick was waiting for her in the driver’s seat of the cart. He slid out and greeted her with a smile, and a quick glance over the new clothes she was wearing. “Wow…what happened in Sofie’s office? That’s more than managing personal affairs.”
She shrugged. “Let’s call it deliverance.”
He pushed his hat back on his forehead and rubbed his jaw. “Yeah, some deliverance.” He turned red-faced. “If you’d like, I’ll run you over to the cabin where the manicurist is waiting.”
She’d never had her nails done, and there was a first time for everything.
Cara climbed into the cart. Sofie was right. Sexy bra and panties did make a woman feel naughty.
****
After a long day of pampering Sicily, running her all over the place, and listening to her stories of acrimony, Ben was ready to call it a day. The woman hadn’t wanted to do anything, like riding or fishing, but talk about her past three husbands.
He stepped into his cabin, pulled off his shirt and tossed it on the chair. He unbuckled his belt as he started for the bathroom but a noise in the darkness made him stop.
“Now that’s what I call a greeting.”
“Cara?” He’d know that sweet voice anywhere. He turned on the lamp and the dim light illuminated the room. He quickly scanned the space and found her sitting on the edge of his bed. He thought his eyes deceived him.
My God, she was beautiful.
Her long dark hair hung in satin waves down her shoulders. She wore makeup, not a lot but enough to accent her beautiful eyes and luscious lips. “What are you doing here?”
She stood up and sashayed toward him. His jaw about hit the floor. He wasn’t sure where she got the cut offs, but the form fitting denim made his mouth salivate…and his body wasn’t immune. It came alive and was rock hard.
“You stood me up.”
“We had a date?” he said.
“This morning. You sent Maverick. Didn’t you think I’d be disappointed?” Her soft voice sent ripples across his flesh.
“I didn’t want to hu
rt you. I overstepped a boundary and I didn’t know what else to do.” She was closer now and he got a whiff of her scent—the scent he wished he could bottle. He was so happy she didn’t wear a strong floral scent. He didn’t think he could stomach anymore tonight.
“It wasn’t a boundary. You made me feel something I haven’t felt in years…no, ever.” She moistened her lips and it targeted his groin like a hot laser.
“You’re all dolled up.” He slipped his gaze over the low neckline of the thin top and to the tight shorts. He liked her clothes—a lot.
“A transformation.”
“No. Like the icing on the cake.” He smiled. “Do you have some place to be?” He’d kill Maverick if that man had formulated a plan.
“That’s the problem. I got dressed up, made up, and the only place I wanted to be was with you. I hope that’s okay.” There was a slight tremble in her voice.
“We usually don’t have visitors coming to our cabin.” He scrubbed his jaw.
“Is that against the rules?” She took a small step closer.
“There aren’t any rules. Just I’ve never had a woman come and find me. It’s flattering.” He was thrilled that a woman like Cara- sweet, kind and innocent, yet worldly in many ways- wanted to see him.
“I was hoping you wouldn’t send me away.” She clasped her hands together.
“Send you away? For heaven’s sake, woman, you must think I’m stupid as well as an ass. I shouldn’t have asked Maverick to transport you to your appointments. Forgive me?” A tendril of her hair had fallen to her cheek. He reached and twirled the silken strand around his finger.
“There’s nothing to forgive.”
“I should never have pushed you like I did at the picnic. I’m not here for the sex, sweetheart.”
“But I am. I want you, Ben. I’ve never wanted anyone like I want you.” Her voice triggered every cell of his body. “I want to feel what I did yesterday.”
“Cara, you’re killing me. I don’t know what I should do.” There was a catch to his voice that he couldn’t control.
“Do you want me?”
“More than my next breath.”
Cowboy Paradise (Cowboys of Nirvana Book 1) Page 9