“It’s okay, just ignore it.”
Her breath comes out in harsh pants and for a second, I consider doing as she says. I want more than anything to forget the world outside this truck and be here with her.
As soon as the phone stops ringing, a quiet ding follows, signaling a text message just before the ringing starts again.
“You sure you shouldn’t get that?”
She reaches over, picking up her phone from where she tossed it on the floor and swipes the screen as she answers with a frustrated hello.
Ryan’s eyes fly to mine, and I know with just one look that what we started tonight has ended. With her hand pressed against my chest, she mouths “we need to go” and I can feel my heart drop to the pit of my stomach.
I try not to read into the trepidation in her voice as she asks Nadia what’s wrong, but when I hear Nadia shout Dean’s name I’m reminded why this was a dangerous path for us to go down.
Now my only fear is if I were to lose them both.
Seven
RYAN
Pulling up into the driveway a few minutes later, I spot Dean and Nadia standing together. Nadia’s hand flies around, pointing her finger at him. She’s clearly upset and for a minute, I want to appreciate her having my back in whatever their heated exchange is about.
Adjusting my shirt, I open the door to Mav’s pickup and slide out of the passenger seat.
“Ryan, what the hell are you doing?” Dean steps out from the other side of the truck. The lights lining the driveway are enough for me to see the slight tic in his jaw. I’m not sure how to answer the question so I opt to go with the safer route.
“What do you mean? Nadia is throwing me a party for my birthday. We just made a quick trip to the store to get some juice for our drinks.” I decide to play it off like it’s no big deal.
His eyes bounce back and forth between Maverick, standing at the front of the truck, to me. I can feel my skin heat as I struggle to remain cool. I know if he senses something is off, he’ll lose it.
“When did you get here, man?” Maverick asks, sounding a lot more calm and collective than I do.
“A few minutes ago. Ryan, Mom knows you aren’t at Nadia’s. You need to get home. Now.” He punctuates the end, his jaw set as his eyes narrow at me. I can tell whatever is waiting for me at home won’t be good.
I purposely blocked my parents’ calls, sending them all to voicemail. It was a risky move, but I figured if they found out I wasn’t really at Nadia’s, I wanted to make it worth it. I didn’t expect for them to send Dean after me though.
“When were you going to tell me you’ve been seeing my sister behind my back?”
Dean’s normally a jokester. He doesn’t get angry, but I know he can be very protective of the people and things he cares about. I knew when he found out about my feelings for Maverick, he would not be happy.
“What are you talking about?”
“Do you think I’m fucking stupid, dude? Don’t stand here and insult me,” he spits, approaching Maverick, pushing him against the chest, caging him in against the front of the truck.
Maverick lets out a deep breath before glancing over at me. I can see the apology on his face knowing there’s no way he’s going to lie to Dean. He knows something is up and I agree lying to him would make it worse.
“It’s not what you think,” he says.
“Excuse me,” Dean spits. “You better clear it up real fucking quick, dude. If I find out you’re using her as another piece of ass, I’ll knock your fucking head off.”
I watch as Dean takes a step closer, bumping his chest against Maverick’s, leaving only a breath between the two of them. Dean is challenging him and Maverick isn’t backing down, even though I know he doesn’t want it to lead to a fight.
“Dude, do you honestly think I’d treat Ryan like that, of all people?” I can hear the note of sincerity in his voice and I hope I’m not reading into it. Maverick holds his hands up, pressing them against Dean as he pushes him back, trying to reason with him.
“You’re damn right it’s not like that. You better stay the fuck away from her. Do you hear me? She doesn’t need you dragging her into your hell.”
“Dean, knock it off. You don’t know what the hell you’re talking about. Even if I was seeing Maverick, it’s none of your fucking business. Chill out!”
It’s as if my words fall on deaf ears as they stand nose-to-nose. Seeing them like this forces my feet to move, as I push my way in between the two of them and use my arms to separate them.
Maverick’s eyes are bright with fury, but I know he would never do anything to hurt Dean. He’s more hurt at the words he’s used.
“She’s better than you and we both know it. Stay the fuck away from her or I’ll see to it that it doesn’t happen myself.”
My head snaps over to Dean, pissed he would try to intervene even if we went around him and his commands.
“Like hell you will. Shut the fuck up, Dean.”
I know Maverick hadn’t opened up about his life, but Dean is onto him. I can see the pain on Maverick’s face at the mention of the shit he has going on at home.
Dean turns, facing me. “You better get your shit now and get home before Mom finds out what you were really up to tonight.”
I never take my eyes off Maverick. His eyes are focused on the ground. His expression is hard as stone, not letting a single emotion give away what he’s feeling. I want to knock Dean on his ass for talking to Maverick like that and wrap my arms around him, hating the direction our night has gone.
This is all my fault.
Stepping around Maverick, I open the door to the pickup. Reaching in, I grab my hat and cell phone from where it’s lying on the floor. Pulling the snapback on my head, I click the button on the side of the phone to find thirteen missed calls from home.
Dean wasn’t lying when he said our parents knew I wasn’t at Nadia’s tonight. I turn to Maverick.
“Will you text me?” I whisper.
He doesn’t say anything and I’m silently begging him to respond. To say something that would show Dean this is not what he thinks. Even though he doesn’t like the two of us together, that Maverick would never hurt me, and this means more to both of us. Maverick not doing anything only proves the point Dean’s trying to make.
That no matter what Maverick may want, he’s no good for me.
I look over to Nadia and the look on her face mirrors everything I’m feeling inside. Her heart is breaking for me knowing how one second, I was on cloud nine and then the next, it was like a hail storm, where everything has come beating down around me.
Nadia and I walk down the driveway as I round the front of her car, opening the passenger door.
“I’m sorry,” she mutters, running her hand through her hair.
“Don’t be,” I interrupt, knowing she is somehow finding a way to blame this on herself. “I guess it’s best he found out now before things went too far.”
Pulling the car door closed behind me, I reach over and click the seat belt into place.
I can feel the lies on the tip of my tongue. Things had gone too far tonight. We had stepped over a line together.
My chest aches as my stomach bottoms out, knowing this may very well be the last time we are ever alone for a while, if ever. I know how important Dean is to Maverick and running the risk of losing him, I could feel his walls come back up and lock into place.
“What happened between you two tonight?” Nadia asks, turning the key in the ignition.
I didn’t want to tell Nadia about it, at least not right now. I wanted to hold onto the little bits of my heart I still had, keeping them together, as it’s being torn in two.
My eyes stay locked on Maverick. He’s still standing with his back pressed against the pickup. His eyes are rooted to the ground, giving into the verbal lashing at the hands of my brother.
As if he can feel my eyes on him, his head turns toward me and lock on mine. I force myself to swallow what f
eels like a ball of cotton in the middle of my throat.
“Up until five minutes ago, it was the best night of my life. Now I don’t know.”
Eight
MAVERICK
With my arms crossed over my chest, I hear the rumble of Nadia’s car starting and peer over to watch her pull out of the driveway. Despite the headlights shining brightly back at me, I can see Ryan’s gaze at me from the front seat of the car.
I want so badly to walk away from where I stand next to Dean, listening as he yells, and pull her back in my arms. I hate that her birthday, this night together, has been ruined.
Dean continues to drone on about how he can’t believe I went behind his back and deceived him. I want to argue with him, to point out all the ways his angry accusations are a load of shit, but I don’t have it in me to even fight him anymore.
For the first time in all the years we’ve been friends, I feel as though every word he utters is betrayal.
My phone vibrates in my pocket. Slipping it out, I get a glimpse of the voicemail notification from my dad.
“I gotta go,” I say, cutting him off in the middle of his tirade.
Dad had long since gone to bed when I left the house earlier. He never would let me take his truck, so the fact he’s calling me not only says he is aware I’m not home, but he likely knows that I have the only possession he cares about anymore.
“We’ll talk about this later,” Dean says, spitting on the ground before adjusting his ball cap back around on his head.
I want to tell him there’s nothing else to be said that he hasn’t already got out, but I don’t have the time or energy to stand here and argue with him. I don’t even bother to see the look on his face. I cut across to the other side of the truck and climb inside. I fumble, trying to find the keys but find them still left in the ignition.
The light from the dash illuminates the small space and I notice right away what is left behind. Reaching over, I snag the sketchbook and pencils off the dash, setting them next to me.
The entire ride home I feel like I’m on edge. Gone is the high my body had been riding with Ryan in my arms. The euphoria of everything I had dreamt of is now being replaced with anxiety over what’s to come when I get home.
As soon as I pull in the drive, I notice how the light on the front porch is on. The music plays on low, but I reach over and press the dial to turn it off. I’m the only one who can hear it, but somehow the fear creeps in.
The screen door flies open as I shift the truck into park. Standing in the doorway is my father. His greasy hair is swept to the side and there is a dark stain on the front of his white T-shirt. He runs his hand across his chest as he leans against the side of the door.
“Get the fuck in here!” he shouts. Shoving my hands in my pockets, I keep my head down as I walk toward the front of the house.
“When the hell did I give you permission to take my truck?”
I can tell he’s been drinking from the way his words slur together.
“I’m sorry. I should’ve asked you before I took it. I didn’t think it would be a big deal.”
“A big deal,” he grunts. “Even if you asked me, the answer wouldn’t be any different than it is now. It’s not yours to take, you ungrateful piece of shit.”
I don’t bother responding as I pass by him into the front door, knowing it’s only going to make him more upset.
Walking through the kitchen, I drop the keys on the counter before heading down the hall toward my bedroom.
“Where the hell do you think you’re goin’, boy?”
I stop in my tracks and turn, not bothering to look up at him. Maybe there’s a part of me avoiding the look on his face. Any resemblance of the father I knew growing up died along with my mom three ago.
“I asked you a question!” he roars.
Glancing up at him, I look him straight in the eyes and reply, “I am going to bed, if that’s okay with you.”
Raising my eyebrow, I wait for any sign he’s going to argue with me on this. He grits his teeth, my response causing his jaw to tick. He takes the two steps, separating us, flattening his hand over my chest, pushing me against the wall.
His breath smells like liquor and I force a breath through my mouth to hide my disgust.
“You’re a fucking ingrate, you know that? Get the fuck out of my house!” he hollers. “Get the fuck out of here and don’t you ever bother coming back.”
My nostrils flare as I bite back the urge to tell him to go to hell.
“If you come back here, I’ll put you six feet under next to your mother.”
And, that does it. There’s no turning back now.
My hand curls into a fist and comes crashing against the side of his jaw. It happens so quickly, he doesn’t even see it coming. The force behind the punch sends him falling back, crashing against the wall.
The alcohol flowing through his bloodstream is working as a disadvantage as he struggles to regain his footing. Pushing himself up right, he comes barreling back at me. He holds his arm against my chest, threatening to cut off my airway.
“She’d be disgusted by you. Look at you. There’s not a day that goes by where I don’t wish it would’ve been you instead of her. I hope you live out the rest of your miserable fucking life knowing it, too.”
Shoving him back, I land another hard punch, this time right in the nose. The blood gushes, streaming down his face into his mouth. My chest heaves with every struggled breath as I work to regain my composure.
“If you ever talk like that about my mom again, I’ll be the one to put you six feet under,” I snarl.
Pain radiates through my fist as I struggle to open and flex it again. For a second, I consider the fact I likely broke my hand. By the looks of it, it’s certainly banged up, but I think I may have gotten off easy.
He slumps to the floor, as I step over his haggard body collapsed against the wall. I hurry to my room and quickly shove anything I care to take with me into my backpack. Slinging the bag over my shoulder, I grab my guitar from where it sits at the foot of my bed.
I’m surprised when I walk out of my room to find he’s no longer in the hallway. The door to the bathroom is shut so I rush down the hall and out the front door. In my haste to get inside, I forgot to lock the truck.
Grabbing the sketchbook and pencils from where I left them on the bench seat, I shove them in my backpack with the rest of my stuff. I’m not sure what my next move is but I find myself walking toward Ryan’s house, wanting to see her.
I’m running a risk going to her house, especially knowing her parents were up waiting on her, but I don’t care though. I need to see her, I need to be closer to her. If I’m going to leave tonight, I want her to know how much she means to me.
I’m surprised when I turn the corner onto her block and I see her light on and Dean’s off. I don’t see his broken down pickup truck parked in the drive, so I can only assume he decided to stay out with Graham for a while.
Pulling out my phone, I shoot off a text to Ryan letting her know I’m here. A few minutes later, I see her figure fill the window, as she pulls the string drawing her blinds. She’s dressed in a black tank top and a pair of red boxer shorts. She points with her finger toward the front door. Adjusting the guitar in my hand, I nod my head and walk up the steps. The locks click as she slowly opens the door, careful not to make any noise.
“Can I stay here?”
She nods but doesn’t say anything more as she turns and leads me down the hallway. The floor creaks beneath our footsteps. Following her into her room, she turns off the light leaving only her bedside lamp on. I set my guitar and backpack near her closet and immediately move to pull her into my arms. Her body feels tense, but she melts into me easily.
I trail feather light kisses along her shoulder, over her cheek, and to her mouth. Tangling my fingers into her hair, I press my lips against hers. Her hand wraps around the front of my shirt, holding me close to her.
My tongue runs along
her soft lips as she opens to me. She lets out a small moan before I break the kiss, keeping our foreheads pressed in close to each other.
“How are you?”
Her eyes peer up at mine, looking warm and happy. “I’m okay. Grounded for a week, but it could be worse. Is everything okay?”
Looking from me to where my bag sits on the floor and back up to me.
“It is now.”
I can sense her hesitation to believe me. I trail my thumb along her cheek. She presses her face into my hand as she gazes up at me.
As much as I love the passionate and opinionated side of Ryan, I think I love this side of her even more. The soft side where she lets me in.
Running my thumb along her lip, I wince at the pain that shoots up my forearm. Ryan doesn’t miss the move even though I quickly try to smooth it over.
“What the hell happened?” she asks, holding my hand out in front of her. Her slender fingers brush over the bruised flesh as her eyes bore into mine.
“Let’s just say things didn’t go over well when I got home.”
“Maverick,” she scowls, knowing exactly where this is going. “What’d you do?”
“He said some things he shouldn’t have. Things about my mother. It’s a mistake he won’t make again.”
“Why do I feel like what you’re about to tell me is going to change everything?”
Holding my hand up to her mouth, she presses a kiss against my damaged flesh. Tingles spread up my arm and I find my breath caught in my throat.
“Ryan,” I croak.
I hate what I am going to tell her next. I have no other options now. As much as I hate to do this, I know I don’t have any choice.
“This isn’t the first time my dad and I have gotten into it. It’s just the first time it’s escalated this far. Our last fight happened the night before we had career day at school,” I say, looking up at her, pausing to take in the look on her face. “I spent some time talking to the army recruiter. I hadn’t given much thought in what I would do after graduation, but we’re just a few months away now. I have enough credits that I could graduate early, if I wanted to.”
Torn (Tattered Heart Duet Book 1) Page 5