“Yes, ma’am.”
“Oh, good. I’m almost ready.” She waved him forward. “Come in. It won’t take me long. On set, they always make me wear a lot of makeup and I hate the stuff. So you won’t have to sit through that.” She whipped the nightgown over her head. Cal turned his head before he could see what she wore underneath. Her voice moved farther away and then closer as if she dipped inside the closet and came out again. “Filming doesn’t start until Monday, but once it does, we’ll be with each other a lot. I thought we’d go to lunch and shopping today. That way, I can adjust to having a shadow again.”
Her words confused him. Considering how famous she was, Cal would’ve expected her to have a whole team. “Whatever you need, ma’am.”
“You can call me Mara. I’m dressed now.” Cal’s gaze moved back her way. A knee-length sundress covered her skin. “Sorry about that,” she said with a sardonic smile. “This is my house. When you’re always surrounded by people, you eventually lose any sense of modesty. And, honestly, if I ever want to wear clean clothes, I’ve had to get over it. Plus, this new movie has two love scenes. You’ll be seeing me nude quite a bit, but when I’m at home…” Mara shrugged. “You’re liable to see anything.”
“I’ll only see you when you want me to. Just think of me as an inanimate object.”
Mara tilted her head and eyed him as if trying to solve a puzzle. “I could never do that.” Her smile snapped back into place. “Which brings me back on topic. We’re going to lunch.”
“Yes, Miss King.”
“Mara,” she reminded him.
Cal dipped his chin, acknowledging her words. “Will we be taking your car or mine?”
“Mine, of course. I’d never expect you to pay for gas plus wear and tear on your vehicle to entertain me.”
It would be the little things like this that would give away his ignorance. Protecting people, he knew. Just not in this exact capacity. She picked up a light pink handbag off the bed and dug around inside before coming out with a set of keys.
Mara watched her hands as she spoke. “The last team I had were full-time employees who lived onsite. I provided them with an SUV. It’s only fair I do the same for you.” She fought with the key ring, not getting anywhere. The air changed. He could feel her frustration growing.
Cal closed the distance between them and gently pried the keys from her hands. “Show me which one.”
Mara pointed out a silver key with a fat rubber piece on one end. It was one of those that was almost impossible to get off a key ring. Mara moved away. Cal thought she swiped at her eyes, but he wasn’t quick enough to be certain.
With her back to him, Mara cleared her throat. “It’s an Escalade.” Her voice broke. Cal’s gaze shot to her back. She gathered a few things from the vanity and dropped them in her purse. Cal stared at the mirror. She swiped at her eyes again. This time, he caught it. “I’m sorry it’s a few years old, but I hadn’t intended to hire anyone else for a while. You were a last-minute addition.” Her chin lifted and Cal dropped his gaze to hands before she caught him staring.
“It’s fine,” he said, keeping his voice low and hoping to soothe her. “The vehicle is unnecessary if you don’t wish to part with it. You didn’t say anything about it over the phone. So I don’t expect it as part of my compensation.” The key finally came loose. Her hand covered his, making Cal jump. He hadn’t heard her move.
She slipped her set from his hand, leaving the single key behind. “I want you to use it. There’s no sense in it sitting in the garage, going to waste. I’ve kept up its maintenance. Well, not me. Michael. Did you meet Michael?” Mara asked as she tossed her keys in her purse.
“Briefly.”
“Good,” Mara said, heading for the door. “You’ll see a lot of him. He stays with me while I’m on set to keep me on schedule.” Cal followed her down the hall with his gaze locked straight ahead. She hadn’t given him permission to see her yet. He wouldn’t. Mara kept speaking. “I think you’ll love him.” She glanced over her shoulder. The light hit her eyes in just the right way, making them sparkle. Cal couldn’t look away. “Or you won’t,” she added with a laugh. Cal couldn’t recall what they’d been talking about. He didn’t want to notice her as a person. She was a job. Cal got the impression she could never be ignored.
“If he looks up from his phone, I’ll decide,” Cal said, recalling their conversation. Her musical laughter pulled at the corners of his mouth. He didn’t give in to the temptation to smile. Mara didn’t need a friend. She needed protection.
“I see we’ll get along great, Cal. Tell me you like greasy diner food and I will love you forever. No health nuts on my watch.”
“Greasy diner food works for me.”
Mara flashed another smile his way. “Great. Pick one for lunch, and we’ll hope no one recognizes me.”
Fantastic. She planned to get him killed.
If there was anything worse than losing someone’s love and suffering a broken heart, it was having to pretend it never happened. Every day, Mara got up. Sometimes she had lunch with friends. All the while acting as if her life wasn’t in shambles. At some point, a question began scratching at her mind—maybe none of it had ever happened. Perhaps every moment Mara spent living for and loving Landon and Early had all been a lie. Every memory she’d held dear—a figment of her imagination. There might’ve even come a day when Mara could convince herself of those lies, except dreams of them woke her almost every morning. For a moment, before her eyes opened, it was as if they were still there. The loss was fresh every single day. Even without knowing what she’d lost, everyone tiptoed around her, as if expecting she’d lose her shit at any time. They weren’t wrong.
Shopping used to be Mara’s therapy. On days like today, she still tried—convinced if she left the house and pretended to be normal, one day it would be true. She flipped through the dresses on the rack. Cal was strong and silent at her back, ensuring no one hovered as she shopped. Lunch had been nice. No one had noticed her. She could tell Cal had been worried over it. But, honestly, people didn’t look closely at other people that often. There were too many electronic devices to keep them occupied. Not to mention, most people were self-conscious while eating. They hoped, if they didn’t look at anyone, then no one would look at them. Cal had looked. He’d watched everyone, including her, with hawk-like focus. She would’ve expected being under such an intense microscope to be uncomfortable. Mara found it oddly comforting—like he was the first person to look at her and see her in a long time.
Mara pushed dress after dress down the rack. She didn’t need anything. In truth, she also didn’t want anything, but she’d lost weight in the past year. It would come back. The pounds always did, but still, it might be nice to have one outfit that didn’t swallow her whole. She grabbed two dresses, determined to buy something. Cal had his back to her, eyeing the store like a man ready to pounce should anyone disturb her. Two women were staring, but Mara got the impression they were watching Cal—not her. Cal was tall and broad. Between his ice-blue eyes and the deep scar above his brow, he looked like the sort of bad boy women liked to tame. She worried more over his safety than hers.
Mara pressed her hand to Cal’s spine. His already hard muscles stiffened when she touched him as if he fought the urge to jump away. Before she could stop herself, Mara stroked, trying to ease his discomfort. He glanced over his shoulder, looking every bit as hard as he felt.
“Yes, Miss King.”
“Would you stand outside the dressing room while I try these on? People like to try snapping pics of me while I’m changing.”
His muscles finally relaxed. “Of course, Miss King.”
“It’s Mara, Cal,” she said for the hundredth time today.
“Yes, Miss King.”
Mara shook her head and made her way to the dressing room. The second she closed herself inside, the memory slammed into her, stealing her breath.
With two dresses in hand, Mara headed for the dressing
room. She glanced over her shoulder at her best friend, Chase. “Would you stand guard at the door for me? I haven’t tried on clothes without security since Early left me.”
Chase swiped his dark hair out his eyes. His boyish smile made an appearance. “Absolutely.”
As if saying Early’s name conjured her from thin air, Mara turned as Early stepped into her path. For a full minute, Mara couldn’t do anything but stare at the blonde curls and blue eyes that had owned her for two years. She hurt—all the way to her bones. Oddly, it was a numb throb.
“How did you know where to find me?”
Early’s lips twisted into a wicked smirk. “It was easy. I stalk the fuck out of you.”
Mara dropped her gaze. She hoped she was quick enough to hide her smile. She didn’t lift her chin again until she’d beat her features into being emotionless. “What I meant to say was—I thought you were in LA. Why are you here?”
“We haven’t officially moved yet. And, I’m here because you’re here.”
A flash of pain hit Mara before she hardened herself against it. They hadn’t officially moved yet. Fuck her. “You should get out of here before any rumors start. I wouldn’t want to accidentally destroy your reputation.”
A smile tugged at Early’s lips. “I deserved that one, but, baby, I’m not Landon. No one knows who I am. I don’t have a reputation to destroy. Not to mention, I don’t give a fuck what anyone thinks.” Before Mara could guess at her intentions, Early moved closer and touched Mara’s arm. “I can touch you like this. We can both smile. Everyone will look at us and not blink an eye because women touch each other all the time.”
“You have a lot of fucking nerve showing up here, Early,” Chase spat, not bothering to pull back his claws. He knew Mara better than anyone. He understood how much this encounter hurt.
Early’s gaze shot to hers. She looked sad. Mara shouldn’t care. She touched Chase’s shoulder. “It’s okay, Chase. I have a few things I need to get off my chest.” He didn’t soften, but he stepped aside. Mara met Early’s stare. “I need to try these on. This one has a zipper in the back,” she pointed out, holding up one of the dresses. “Do you mind helping me?”
Early gave a sharp nod.
Mara met Chase’s gaze as she passed. “Would you please still guard the door?”
“You got it,” Chase agreed, even as he eyed Early with malice. “Someone has to take care of you.”
Mara winked at him as a way of thanks as she pulled the door closed, shutting herself inside with Early. She wished like hell she felt as light as she pretended. The moment they were out of sight and no longer in fear of being overheard, Mara turned on Early. “What the hell are you doing here?”
Early’s wary expression said she hadn’t been expecting Mara’s anger. “This is a public place.”
“You know what I mean,” Mara snapped, uncaring of Early’s feelings. After all, it wasn’t as if Early had given two shits about Mara’s feelings when she’d left.
Instead of answering, Early motioned toward the clothes Mara carried inside. “I thought you needed my help.”
Mara kicked out of her heels and pulled her shirt up and over her head. “I don’t need anything from you.” Her movements were angry as she pulled one of the dresses off the hanger and worked it over her head. Mara turned toward the mirror and eyed her reflection. She looked every bit as devastated as she was. Her face was pale and her eyes looked dead. Early’s arms encircled her waist before her hand landed between Mara’s breasts, covering her heart. Mara’s gaze immediately dropped to Early’s hand. A wedding band encircled her third finger. The world crashed around Mara. Every time she thought she had nothing left to lose, life found a way to strip something else from her. To her horror, the first tear fell. “You married him.”
Early immediately dropped her hand and stepped back. Mara turned and held her gaze. She had to see the betrayal in Early’s eyes. “Over a year ago, while you were in France.”
Mara wished her dead in that moment. Hatred built like never before. She felt used and insignificant. Unloved.
“Things haven’t been the same without you,” Early said, sounding as dead as Mara felt. “There’s been this huge hole living inside me. I go to bed each night without your heat between us and wake up without you. It’s worse than dying.”
Hyperventilation loomed on the horizon. Mara slashed her hand through the air. She couldn’t take another second. The tears flowed without any chance of stopping. Mara didn’t try wiping them away. Early should see the ugly mess she’d left behind. Mara tried speaking through her tears. Her words came out in rapid gasps. “You left me. If you’re missing anything, that’s on you. When Landon said he was gone, I knew you’d go with him. Part of me clung to hope, but I knew in my heart you wouldn’t choose me. I was right. As much as I hate you for that, I’m also resigned. I’ve always known I was an afterthought.”
“Don’t say that.”
Early’s harsh whisper couldn’t stop the flood of confessions. They flowed as freely as Mara’s tears. “Why? It’s true. I knew the two of you were sleeping together before you invited me in, but that’s all I ever was to either of you—a guest. Hell, an intruder. It was always only a matter of time before you dropped me on my ass.” The more she said, the stronger Mara felt. It had all been building and growing inside her since the day they walked away. Before now, her pain and fury had no outlet. Early was here now, demanding Mara let her have it, and Mara obliged. “Maybe that’s why I clung so hard and gave so much. I think half the time I was bribing you to stay where you didn’t want to be. Landon was easy. He wanted to be famous, so I gave it to him. But you, do you think I never caught the hatred in your eyes when you didn’t know I was watching?”
Early took a step forward, forcing Mara to take one back. She slapped her hand against the wall beside Mara’s head. With her palm flattened there, bracing her weight, Early leaned in, going nose to nose with Mara. “You’ve had your say. Now you’ll hear mine. I just bet you did see some fucking hatred if you looked close enough.” Early tapped her chest. “Because I fucking loved you. Me. But I knew I’d never have you to myself. Landon would always be right there between us.” Early’s shoulders fell. Mara watched the anger drain from Early’s features through a haze of shock. No one could see her face, hear her words, and call Early a liar. Mara needed to know. She hung on every word. Early took a step back, giving Mara some space and making her realize she held Early’s t-shirt in a tight grip. Early didn’t force her to give up the material. “The truth is, I’m weak, Mara. Landon has always been the strong one. His presence gave me access to you, and I took that opening. I did it with a smile and I swore to myself I wouldn’t regret a thing because I had you. But I didn’t. Not really.” Early’s every word found new pieces of Mara’s already shattered heart and crumbled them. She felt each word like a solid blow to the chest. Her tears were never ending when it came to this woman, it seemed. She’d thought she’d cried herself dry. It seemed she’d been wrong about that too.
Before she knew what she was doing, Mara’s thoughts turned to words. “I don’t know how a person can cry so much and live, but somehow I do. This is a pointless life without mercy or hope.”
“You’re even more beautiful when you cry. Which is ridiculous,” Early added, sounding as if it had been an afterthought.
An unexpected smile touched Mara’s lips. “No one thinks that but you.”
Early shrugged. “They say love is blind, so how could I know if it’s just me?”
Watching the L word falling from Early’s lips gave Mara the strength she needed to release her hold on the woman’s shirt. Mara smoothed her fingers down Early’s stomach, trying to wipe away the winkles from the material. She swiped at her eyes. There was nothing left to say. Mara felt nothing any longer except drained. She’d loved and loved, knowing the whole time she had more than she’d deserved. It was inevitable life would strip it from her. “I hope life is kind to you.” Mara’s nose stung as s
he geared up for her final goodbye. “No one could ever love you as much as I did, but,” Mara said with a shrug, “you only have that once, I think.” Mara tried for another smile. “Have a good life with your husband, Early Kincaid. If you would’ve fought for me, I would’ve given you the world, but I never would’ve chosen to be in the middle of someone else’s marriage.” With her head held high, Mara headed for the door, determined to have Chase send Early on her way. Her fingers curled around the lock and her dress tightened around her body, holding her in place. It took Mara a second to realize Early held on to the material. With a tug, she hauled Mara back against her chest. Her lips brushed Mara’s ear. “Idiot. I’m fighting for you now, if you’d open your fucking eyes and notice.”
Having Early’s arms around her was like being set on fire. She hurt. The tears came again, draining her will, but they were over. Everything was over.
A sound coming from the other side of the dressing room door had Cal yanking the door open. He thought he had all sides covered, but determined fans could be tricky. Mara sat, wearing the dress she’d gone in to try on, while tears streamed down her face unchecked.
She met his gaze. Mara looked on the outside how he felt on the inside. “It’s okay for you to see me.”
At her quietly spoken words, Cal slipped inside and pulled the door closed behind him. Her gaze skittered away. She was a beautiful mess. Cal leaned back against the door and crossed his arms over his chest—waiting. Kieran had warned him Mara was fragile. Cal was too good at breaking people, so he stayed still.
“Would you take me somewhere?”
“Of course, Miss King.”
A watery laugh escaped her. “It’s just Mara.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
Her smile fell. “I think that’s worse than Miss King,” she said quietly. “Ma’am sounds as if I’m owed respect. I assure you, no one should respect me.”
She meant it. It was in her eyes. Mara truly believed she was unworthy. He knew the feeling well. “Maybe I’m not doing it for you.” Cal surprised himself with the claim. He never talked back or made confessions. He bit his bottom lip to keep it from happening again.
Guard Page 3