She smiled. “What was that?”
Cal shrugged. “I had to know if it felt as red as it is.”
Her musical laughter made his confession worthwhile. “Does red have a texture?”
“All colors do.”
Mara shook her head, as if she didn’t know what to make of him. “You’re a strange man.” Before he had time to be insulted, Mara linked her fingers through his and all his thoughts died. “I like it, though,” she added. “You keep me on my toes. I never know what you’ll say next.” She went back to watching the game, as if her every word didn’t mean the world to him.
Cal couldn’t concentrate on anything other than Mara holding his hand. Sometimes he wondered if she even noticed when she touched him. He noticed. Every single time, she had his attention. Cal stared at her profile while she watched the game. He didn’t care who won their bet. It seemed she did. He wondered if the way she chewed her bottom lip meant she worried she’d lose, and he wouldn’t come in for a drink. Damn, she made him overthink every brush of skin and daring word.
“Mara.”
Her head whipped around. “That’s the first time you’ve ever used my name. Huh?” she grunted, sounding confused.
“What was that huh about?”
She flashed him a smile. “I’ve never thought of my name as sexy. It sounded that way, coming from you.” She went back to watching the game. “You’re still not getting your hand back, though.”
He bit back a chuckle. “What makes you think I wanted that?”
“You tried sweet talking me,” she shot back.
“I forgot to tell you something,” he admitted. “Earlier, when I picked you up,” he added.
She met his stare again. Her dark eyes reflected the light, making his stomach growl. “I’m listening now.”
He almost lost his nerve. Cal didn’t like to be looked at as closely as she was now. But he couldn’t leave her hanging. “You look beautiful.”
A blush touched her cheeks and she looked away for a second before meeting his gaze again. “You do too.” She went back to watching the game before he could think of a response. He didn’t think anyone had ever called him beautiful. Hearing it from Mara, a woman who never said what she didn’t mean, it left him speechless.
Chapter Six
As Cal sat on Mara’s couch, waiting for her to change clothes and bring him a bottle of water, he’d never been more happy to lose a bet. The brown leather couch he sat upon was the softest material he’d ever felt. He wondered if she’d picked it out or if Michael had. His gaze slid to the French doors. The lights inside the pool made the water glimmer blue. Mara’s reflection appeared in the glass and Cal turned his head. She’d changed into a soft-looking pink t-shirt and cotton shorts. He fought to keep his feelings from his gaze. She was the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen. It had nothing to do with her appearance, even though she was astounding. Mara’s heart was gorgeous.
She handed him a bottle of water. “What do you do when you’re not with me?” Mara asked as she claimed the other side of the couch. She turned sideways and gave him her full attention as she waited for him to answer.
“I get up at five thirty each day and go for a run before heading to the gym. At precisely seven thirty—”
Mara laughed and slapped his shoulder, cutting him off. “No. I’m not asking your daily schedule. What do you for fun when you’re not with me?”
Cal thought about Kieran’s words. Something rose inside him. He told her the truth. “I have a membership at The Rabbit Warren.” He half expected she wouldn’t know the place, and he’d be forced to explain.
Instead, Mara calmly nodded. “I didn’t expect that answer, but I can see it.” A smile exploded across her face. “Can I guess your kink?”
“I don’t know, can you?” Cal hadn’t meant to sound as if he was flirting. He didn’t take it back.
Mara set her wine aside and clapped her hands like a little girl as she shifted onto her knees. She eyed Cal’s features, as if taking her task seriously. “I can’t see you getting spanked. You don’t like to be touched. Although I could see you doing the flogging. Still, I don’t think that’s it. No way in hell are you wearing a fake horse head with an anal plug horse tail while someone uses you to live out some bestiality fantasy.” Cal smiled in spite of himself. That definitely wasn’t him, but he’d seen it done. “Hmmm,” Mara hummed, getting serious in her inspection. “You’re a voyeur,” she said at last.
His lips parted in surprise. Not only had she guessed right, but Mara’s expression left no room for doubt. She knew she was right. “I am,” he admitted, since it was only fair.
She clapped her hands again and settled back down onto her butt. “Ha! I knew it.”
A sudden need to know everything about her rose inside Cal. “What do you do when I’m not around?”
“Drink,” Mara said without hesitation. “Seriously. Like copious amounts of alcohol. I should probably be dead,” she said, as if her life meant nothing. “Oh, I also swim nude while drinking. I like the way the warm water feels on my skin in the moonlight.”
“Does it feel different in the moonlight than the sun?”
Mara picked up her wine and took a sip before shrugging. “How should I know? I’m always drunk.”
Even though Cal couldn’t stop smiling, he still chastised her. “You could drown or someone could scale the fence. It’s not safe for you to do that alone.”
Mara shrugged again and set her glass aside. “You should go with me, then.”
The words popped out without his permission. “You should come to The Rabbit Warren with me instead.”
Mara settled deeper into the couch and buried her feet beneath his thigh. They were like ice. The cold seeped through Cal’s pants. He automatically rubbed her legs, trying to warm her. She didn’t shut him down. Instead, she looked thoughtful. “I’ve never been to a fetish club. What would I do there?”
Cal took her question seriously. “Are you asking me to choose a service for you?”
Mara nodded. “You’re the expert here.”
He focused on her, giving her the same inspection she’d given him earlier. “I can’t see you getting spanked.”
Mara laughed. Her cheeks pinkened, fascinating him. “Oh, I don’t know. I’ve been spanked. It wasn’t terrible.”
Cal felt his face harden. “No. No one hits you.” He tried relaxing his features. The last thing he wanted was to scare Mara. The flush on her cheeks deepened. Cal couldn’t look away or stop. “I equally can’t see you wielding a crop.” Mara curled her nose at the suggestion. His stomach cramped with desire. “Sensual massage,” he said, more voicing what he’d like to see than what he thought she’d want.
“That sounds nice. What’s that like?”
Cal was so hard all Mara had to do was drop her gaze and she’d know. “You’d strip and stretch out on a massage table. They’d bind your hands to the wall to stop your natural reflex to push away their hands if they touched you in a way you’re unaccustomed to. Your body would be coated in oil and pleasured.”
Cal had wondered a thousand times how Mara would look turned on. He saw it now. Her hardened nipples showed through her thin shirt. The flush of her skin tempted him to sink his teeth into her flesh just to taste the heat. She licked her lips. “I don’t know. It sounds scary having my hands bound by a stranger. Anything could happen to me, and I couldn’t defend myself.”
“You could tell them to stop if you were uncomfortable, or I could stay with you and keep you safe.”
Mara nodded. “I’d feel better if you were there.”
Cal was captivated. She held him hostage with some invisible weapon he couldn’t see. “Does that mean we’re going?”
White teeth sank into pink flesh as Mara chewed on her bottom lip. Cal’s gaze locked on the sight. His teeth were jealous. Her bottom lip looked delicious. She gave him a sharp nod. “Let’s go before I change my mind.”
The Rabbit Warren was a larg
e warehouse that looked like a mansion on the inside. The place also resembled its name. There was room after room—some with open doors and some not. Things she’d never seen and couldn’t unsee filled every space. People were openly beaten while others served people on their knees. Bare bodies and debauchery met her everywhere she looked. There was a guy on a leash being led around by a much older woman. They both looked pleased with the arrangement. Mara seemed to be the only person looking at anyone else. Every other patron appeared enamored by whatever fantasy they enjoyed. Still, Mara bit back a sigh of relief when Cal led her inside a private room and shut away the world. She wasn’t prudish. Not on any level. Mara just needed time to adjust.
Waiting for her was a woman. Mara felt like she should’ve suspected it would be, but then again, she’d walked into The Rabbit Warren with no idea what she was getting into. Being nude in front of people wasn’t a big deal. After all, she’d posed nude for magazines in the past and she had to be unclothed on set sometimes. Mara tried looking at things like that—like a professional. She was an actress. If things got too weird, she could pretend it was just another role. She undressed and allowed the woman to bind her hands without a qualm. The problem was Cal. His gaze never wavered from her face. It was unnatural for one person to possess so much self-control. He was almost rigid. As much as Mara would’ve liked to lie to herself, she couldn’t. She wanted Cal to eat her alive with his gaze, but he didn’t. His control only made her want to work harder to grab his attention. She craved seeing him break. Mara imagined, when he gave in to temptation, he was a sight to behold.
The small brown-haired girl in charge of her massage didn’t talk. It was a relief. Mara knew herself too well. If the woman spoke, then she’d fall into too-bright nervous chatter when she really wanted to focus on Cal. He pulled a chair near her head. His ice-blue stare held her gaze without wavering. It should’ve been uncomfortable. Instead, Mara fought not to pant as hot oil hit her skin. The woman’s hands smoothed down Mara’s body, starting at her chest, moving between her breasts, and ending at her hips. All the erogenous zones were skipped, making her want it even more. She thought about Cal’s confession. It didn’t surprise her he was a voyeur. He was deep. The type of man who would need his mind stimulated. She remembered the first time he’d seen her half clothed. I won’t see you unless you want me to. His words floated through her head.
“Cal.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“It’s okay to see me.”
“No, ma’am. Not tonight.”
An invisible knife sliced through her heart. The pain showed in her voice. “Why?”
Cal set his elbow on the table and used his palm to prop up his chin. Still, his gaze never wavered from her face. “I can’t watch someone else touch you.”
The woman touching her may as well have disappeared. All Mara saw was Cal. “Why?” The question came out sounding like a parched whisper—like the embodiment of desperation.
“Because, even though I know you’re not—sometimes—you feel like you’re mine.”
Mara’s throat swelled. His admission made her realize how many things she’d screwed up in her life. Cal’s one tiny confession cast a huge light on every time she’d turned a blind eye—accepted less than she deserved. Swallowed Landon and Early’s lies. As if the universe chose that moment to push her over the edge, the woman touching her stroked along her slit and brushed her clit. Mara felt nothing except the chill of the air on her skin. A tear slipped from the corner of her eye.
“She needs a break,” Cal said, taking control and sending the woman away. She left without question. Of course, Cal’s tone left no room for argument. Mara couldn’t watch the woman go. She felt like a coward. Why did Cal have to be so strong and steady at a point in her life when she was weak and useless? “Talk to me,” Cal demanded, using the same tone with her as he had the woman he’d sent away.
Mara swallowed again, trying to fight back the pain building inside her. Cal made her want to live again, but she was still the same fool, and her heart still ached. Another tear slid from the corner of her eye, falling back into her hair. She hated herself in that moment. “Am I making the same mistakes again?”
Cal brushed the moisture from her face. “No, ma’am. You’re not. The way you keep getting up every day, putting your heart on the line, is the greatest show of strength I’ve ever seen. The rest of us are just white-knuckling our sanity until death brings us relief.”
Mara took a deep breath. It stuttered in her chest. She wanted to know his secrets, but she was also scared to know what made him tick. “Cal.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“Would you kiss me?”
Cal eyed her, as if assessing her seriousness. Mara couldn’t remember ever meaning anything more in her life. He was the definition of strength. She was the embodiment of weakness. He was always there—watching. His gaze weighed heavily on her skin all hours of the day—like a physical brush of his hand. Mara didn’t want some stranger’s hands on her. She wanted Cal.
“I can’t,” he said finally. His voice sounded pained. That was the only reason his rejection didn’t hurt. Cal fought battles she couldn’t see. Feminine pride had her wanting to cry. Here she was—sprawled out nude for his taking if he’d bend enough to look away from her face. Something else kept her from falling into that pit of despair—the heat in Cal’s stare. He wanted her. His rejection had nothing to do with her. “Tomorrow, you have to live with yourself. You should never do anything under this roof that’ll make you less once you leave it.”
“You think kissing you will make me less?”
Cal’s gaze was so solemn, she knew whatever he said next would be the god’s honest truth. “I think kissing me, while I still work for you, will be the straw that breaks you.”
She’d been right. He knew the truth. “I’m cold.”
Cal flew to his feet and grabbed a hot towel. He wiped the oil from her skin. A switch flipped in Mara’s head. Whereas the massage had done nothing for her, Cal’s touch had her grinding her back teeth to keep from begging. His face was hard. He was obviously disconnected from what he was doing. Mara’s body didn’t care. She ached. With every fiber of her being, she craved. Cal was efficient and thorough. With the oil wiped from her skin, Cal found her clothes and returned to her side. She expected he would untie her. Instead, Cal slipped her panties up her legs, urging her to lift her hips so he could clothe her.
Mara bit her lip to keep from moaning. She’d never experienced anything as intimate. Countless times she’d had men strip her bare. Never once had anyone dressed her. The act fucked with her head. Next came her shorts. Cal slid them up carefully. Mara obeyed his every silent command. He kept his gaze locked on his task as he zipped and buttoned her shorts. Mara was damn near panting as he put on her socks and shoes. Cal moved back to her head. She stared at his face as he worked. There wasn’t a hint of emotion in his features, but she’d never been more aroused. He slid his hands up her forearms, from her elbows to her wrists, touching her unnecessarily to untie her hands. A stuttered breath escaped her, sounding loud. Cal’s gaze dropped to hers. He held her stare and her hands as he pulled her into a sitting position. Their gazes never wavered as he massaged her hands, as if ensuring they had proper blood flow after being bound. The heat pouring off him made it impossible for Mara to breathe properly. He could refuse to kiss her or see her, but Cal couldn’t hide the desire in his eyes. There was so much tenderness in his touch.
Although he’d untied her hands, Cal still didn’t let her dress herself. Mara let it go on. She didn’t want his show of affection to stop. He slid her arms through her bra before pulling her close, encircling her in his embrace and re-clasping the material like a pro. When he pulled away, Mara fought the urge to hold on. Instead, she lifted her arms and let Cal work her shirt over her head. With her shirt in place, Cal swiped her hair aside, making sure it wasn’t caught beneath her collar. He stood between her knees. Mara was hyper-aware of how far s
he had to keep her thighs spread to accommodate his large frame. She felt tiny and safe. Cal’s hand moved from beneath her hair to her jaw. His gaze dropped to her mouth as his thumb brushed her bottom lip. The fluttering in her stomach damn near had Mara squirming.
Cal’s gaze lifted to hers. Her breath caught. His heart was in his eyes, and Mara wanted it. “I won’t kiss you, but I’ll pretend I did later.”
Mara couldn’t ask for more. She’d rather be Cal’s fantasy than anyone else’s reality. What a fucked-up mess she’d become.
Kieran’s phone rang as he set his belt aside, as if whoever waited on the other end of the line had a camera poised on him. His dick leaked in his pants. Henley’s harsh breaths filled the air.
When Kieran answered, lust sounded heavily in his voice. “Hello?”
“It’s Cal.”
Kieran eyed Henley’s bare muscular chest. His gut twisted with need. “Hey. Did you get Mara home okay?”
“Yes, sir.”
The man’s voice was hard and tight. Kieran knew without being told he wasn’t in a good place. “How did her first visit to the club go?” He didn’t bother explaining how he knew Cal had brought Mara in tonight. He knew everything. Everyone expected it.
“It’s hard to say.”
Kieran sucked a breath through his teeth. “That good, huh?” His gaze never wavered from Henley. His husband looked ready to spring. Kieran wanted to see it happen. “Henley and I are still at the club, if you need something to keep you grounded.”
Cal sucked in an audible breath, as if he fought to keep his shit together. “Thank you. I’ll be there in fifteen.”
“Cal,” Kieran said before the man could hang up on him. “You know you’ll have to stop working for her, right? If you want to fix her.”
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