Mark glanced around the room to see if they understood. He saw several men still shoving doughnuts in their mouths while some eyed the refreshment table like it was a T-bone steak.
“Okay, if you have any questions this would be the time to ask. If not, I’m going to hand out these forms for you to fill out. Please take note of all the places highlighted for your initials, and read them over carefully.”
Not a single hand rose into the air. They never asked questions. Mark exhaled slowly, and began to hand out the forms. He watched as the men signed anywhere they saw a line. Most put an X where he had highlighted, and one even tried to remove a page, but stopped when he saw Mark eyeing him.
Within three minutes all the contracts were back on his desk- and the refreshment table became the center of attention.
“Alright guys, I’ll be back with the muffins and more coffee in five minutes. I’ll also have your assignments.” No one paid any attention. They never did.
Every year he volunteered so much of his time to charity organizations to help others, and Santa’s were the worst. Thank God he had a plan this year.
* * *
Eric Gunderson ate a doughnut and observed his fellow Santas. He didn’t quite fit in. He had showered today, wasn’t sneaking sips from a flask, and didn’t have stories about hot helpers when they bent over.
Eric ate slowly, wondering what kind of people this agency hired. Were there any requirements? The guy in charge, Mark, didn’t seem to care. He wanted to kick himself. He thought giving back to the community after so many people had helped him would be a good thing.
He tried to start a conversation with some of the guys to see if any were decent men.
“Hey guys, so you do this every year?” A few heads nodded, most ignored him.
“So it’s because it makes you feel good, right? To help out and make a kid smile?” Some snorted and a few outright laughed.
“You’re new here aren’t you? Look, it’s like this; we come here for food, meet once for assignments, and get paid under the table. The rest we could care less about, and that guy Anderson is a moron.”
Eric nodded. He had had made a mistake. However, he had signed the contract, and was a man of his word. He would go through with this; in fact he would be the best damn Santa they had ever seen. He would set a new standard for Santas so next year they would hire better people.
* * *
Mark stood outside the building, hands sweating. His whole body shaking, he had never been so nervous. He carried a bag of thirty muffins, and two carafes full of coffee. Not just any coffee though, his own special blend.
He entered the room unsurprised to see the men still eating. He made a path through them. By the time he reached the table half the muffins were gone, and one carafe of coffee empty.
Mark placed the remaining muffins on the table, and then poured a cup of coffee for each and every man present. He watched carefully, making sure they had some of his special blend. A man off in the corner didn’t have a cup. Mark couldn’t have that.
“Hey there, I’m Mark, thought you might like a cup of coffee.”
“I’m Eric, and as for coffee, no thanks, I already had my fill.”
“No, really have some, it’s my special blend you’ll love it.”
This coffee would change everything. His coffee would ensure he never dealt with an angry mom about being groped, or a child crying because he found out Santa is the homeless guy who lives in the mall parking lot.
In fact, if he did this right, mall Santa’s would be cancelled until the end of time. He smiled at the thought of never having to deal with this again. He had several other charity organizations he actually liked being a part of, and would get to spend more time with them after his plan went into effect.
He only organized the mall Santa’s because he had an agenda. His parents had taken him to see Santa like all other parents. However, the Santa’s beard had fallen off, he smelled like pee and vomit, and told Mark he wasn’t getting anything because he had been a bad boy. From that day on, Mark began to plot his takedown of the mall Santa’s.
“Thanks, but I really have to say no.”
“Just have some coffee dammit.” Mark tried to look intimidating. Being five foot four made it hard, especially when the guy in front of him stood at least six foot.
“Look Mark, I don’t want your damn coffee. Now give me my assignment and uniform so I can get the hell out of here.”
“Fine, but you have to remember to show up in two weeks at the parade downtown. Two weeks. You have to be there.”
“All right, and just an idea, but maybe you should lay off the coffee.”
Mark gave the man a look, then scurried away to get the uniform and assignment list. He would show this guy. He would send him to Kirwood mall. All the gangs liked to hang out there, and police were called for shootings, drug deals, and prostitution on a regular basis. Eric would love it.
A few moments later Mark returned to Eric. He handed him his uniform and assignment without a word. As he watched the large man leave he smiled to himself. In two weeks revenge would be his.
* * *
A week later Mark woke, took a shower, opened his front door, and grabbed the paper. Part of his routing, next he headed into the kitchen to read the headlines. He had poured himself a bowl of cereal, and as he took a bite he read the main headline. “Santa saves the day at Kirwood mall.”
Mark spit out his cereal. “What the hell? I sent him there to get him killed, at the very least scare the crap out of him. I did not send him there to become a damn hero.”
Reading the article he discovered Eric had been responsible for catching four purse snatchers, turning in three drug dealers, and helping eight old ladies cross the street. The quote from Eric made him want to spit. “I’m just trying to make people proud of the man in the red suit.”
“Is he crazy? No volunteer actually takes the oath seriously.” The empty room didn’t respond, but Mark looked around as if it might.
He got out of his chair and paced. This could ruin everything. This Eric fellow had to be stopped.
* * *
Eric sat in the Santa chair holding an infant in his arms. Moments before it had been crying incessantly, and he could tell the mother was at her wits end. As he took the child, he began to hum. A minute later the baby calmed.
“Oh my God, it’s true! You really are amazing.” Eric blushed underneath his beard.
“No ma’am, I’m just doing my job.”
Eric handed the now sleeping child back to the woman. There were no more people lined up, so one of the helper elves put up the break sign. They all headed into Santa’s house and started eating.
“Thanks for getting the food this time Cassie.”
“No problem. It’s the least I could do after you helped me study for my real estate license exam.”
“It was my pleasure. I’m sure you nailed it.”
Eric ate his salad with tofu, looking around at his team of helpers. He had six elves, all of whom were good people. The first day he thought there might be a few problems. He had caught them smoking in front of the kids, the North Pole had not been kept up, and their uniforms were dirty.
He took them into Santa’s house to have a talk. He told them they were supposed to be setting an example to the kids coming there. They had a responsibility to make sure the kids actually believed they were sitting on Santa’s lap and meeting his elves.
Eric might have let a bit of his military leadership show through, but it had paid off. The next day the North Pole was as clean as a whistle, the elves uniforms were spotless, and no activities of a questionable nature were performed in front of the kids, or Eric.
Working together for over a week now, they were a proper unit. They operated as an efficient tiny team. Each person knew where they were supposed to be and when. No one waited too long, and candy and surprises were provided for every crying child.
In his free moments Eric found himself in the r
ight place at the right time to help people out. The police even came down to commend his work. Since he had started working there crime had dropped sixty percent. Eric tried to shrug it off, but they gave him a little medal and a job offer when he finished with the Santa thing.
A knock at the door jolted them out of conversation, and Lucas one of his elves, answered the door. A man stepped inside. Eric recognized Mark immediately; the weird guy who liked coffee. He stood there awkwardly, glancing around their small house.
Eric stood up. “Mark right? What can I do for you?”
* * *
Mark leaned his head back to look at the tall man the papers were calling a ‘local hero’. He had to stop this guy. Eric would ruin everything if he kept up this helping people crap. The guy was huge though, and Mark lost his nerve to say anything. Instead he altered the plan.
“Um, I just wanted to come and congratulate you on all the good work. You’re making us all proud of the red suit.” Mark choked out the last words.
Eric stood as tall as he could in the miniature house. “I`m just doing my job.”
“Well, I brought some coffee. It might be a bit strong, but I think you’ll like it.”
Eric shook his head. “I’m sorry, but we don’t drink caffeine during work hours.”
“Okay, I’ll just be going then. Oh, one more thing. The holiday parade is going to start here instead of Pierce. We thought it would be good for neighbourhood morale.”
“Thanks, fantastic news. Did you hear that elves? We have lots to do to prepare for the parade. You’ll have to excuse us Mark.”
Mark walked out of the little faux house with a smile on his face. In less than a week his plan would take place, and a local hero would be taken down. He was so happy he could scream. The sight of Christmas lights, the sound of Christmas music, and all the candy cane stickers didn’t even make him twitch. Mark left the mall with a spring in his step. This would be one hell of a Christmas.
Usually he hated this holiday, but this year would be different. This year there would be a massacre, and it would be because of him. This year he would make Christmas fun.
* * *
Eric woke up early Christmas Eve day. He had to have his suit cleaned and pressed, then head over to the mall and make sure the North Pole was up to snuff. After that, he had to make sure the elves passed muster. Finally, he had to prepare for the parade.
He dropped his suit off during his morning run, then stopped off at the shelter to feed the homeless breakfast. Then he picked up the suit and headed to the mall. He was glad to see all his elves there, standing at the ready.
The North Pole looked perfect; his helpers had even added more lights and a bigger tree. Everything appeared fantastic. The large candy cane walkway, the gingerbread men garden, and the lollipop factory were all wonderful additions.
“I’m proud of all of you, Cassie, Lucas, Gabe, Tony, Bella, and Carlos. If I had the power I would give you all a medal.” The group began to blush.
Cassie stepped forward with a piece of paper in her hand. “I’m speaking for all of us when I say this, you have been an inspiration, and made us proud to be elves. We all hope one day we can inspire and help people the way you have us. Oh, yeah I also passed my exam.”
“Thanks guys. You’re going to make me cry, and congrats Cassie.”
Eric stared down at his boots. They were so shiny he could see his reflection in them. After he gathered his composure, he glanced back up, making eye contact with each one of the people standing in front of him.
“You are an inspiration. Now let’s go start this holiday right.”
They all exited the mall and were greeted by dozens of parents with their kids. Last minute pictures with Santa were first, then a parade with all the other Santa’s on a float to the center of the city.
One of the elves held the door open and people flooded inside. Eric went to his seat and prepared himself for the onslaught. Kids listing off their wish list, crying babies, parents at their wits end.
Outside of the North Pole he saw last minute shoppers running around with angry expressions on their faces. He hoped the parade started soon. He could handle a lot, but there were limits.
* * *
Mark stood in the parking lot waiting for the other Santa’s to arrive. The parade was scheduled to start in a few minutes, but he knew better. He checked his watch and counted the minutes. The sounds of moans and screams came earlier than expected. Then again he wasn’t a certified chemist. He minored in it in college and discovered a knack for it, same thing as having a degree as far as he was concerned.
Two weeks ago he had spiked the coffee with a compound he had been working on for years. Anyone who consumed said compound would turn into a mindless monster. He held a device in his hands which emitted a high pitched sound that attracted the monsters, and at the same time made them crazy. His plan was finally coming to fruition as he saw the red suits cresting the hill.
Once they neared Mark, he noticed blood dripping off of their faces. Some of them were carrying things they shouldn’t be, like femurs and forearms. When they were ten feet in front of him he realized he might have miscalculated some of the ingredients.
Mark turned and ran into the mall. He headed straight for the North Pole.
* * *
The zombie Santa’s followed close behind, the noise making them angrier by the minute. As they entered the mall, chaos ensued. Shoppers panicked and caused bottlenecking in all of the exits. As people tried to claw their way out, the Santa’s got to pick and choose who they ate.
People were screaming as crazy blood covered zombie Santa’s began eating them. Mall security showed up to try and help, but most ran at the sight of a pancreas hanging from one of the Santa’s mouths. Those who didn’t run used Tasers which had no effect.
After a few moments they heard the noise of Marks device again. They chased after it once more leaving the shoppers behind. The doors crashed open, most of the shoppers able to escape. Bits and pieces of those not so lucky were strewn across the bloody floor.
* * *
Eric handed a little girl back to her mother. The last one of the day, and according to his itinerary the parade would be starting soon.
As he stood up and gathered the elves around him, all hell broke out. Shoppers ran around yelling about bloody Santa’s eating people.
Eric figured he heard wrong. No way were Santa’s eating people. Seconds later Mark stood in front of him, his sweat covered body shaking.
“What’s going on?”
“We have a problem with the other Santa’s.”
Eric looked pointedly at the screaming people running past them, some bloody, others missing limbs.
“Really, a problem you say?”
“Yes, they seem to be eating people.” Eric raised a sceptical eyebrow.
“Really, they just got up today and decided to eat people.”
“Yes, that’s what I just said, it’s like they’re zombies or something. You have to do something. You’re some sort of hero.”
“Then you would be the villain. So, tell me what you did.”
“Nothing, I have no idea what happened.”
Eric raised his head as he heard stomping feet. A herd of un-dead zombie Santa’s heading straight for the North Pole. He had seconds to decide what to do.
“Elves, grab whatever you can to arm yourselves. We have to take these suckers down. Mark, make yourself useful, go try and reason with them.”
Mark paled. “You can’t be serious?”
“Well, maybe not, worth a shot though. You better grab something to fight with then.”
Eric grabbed popcorn string off the Christmas tree and set up a trip wire. He reached for some ornaments and placed them on the ground lightly; it was the best he could do for an early entry warning system. He looked at his elves, happy to see they had grabbed things to fight with.
Not seeing Mark anywhere, he sighed. He knew he would show up at some point, but for now h
e had zombie Santa’s to fight.
* * *
Mark hid in Santa’s mini house. He planted the device behind the Christmas tree hoping to throw the zombie Santa’s off his scent. Huddled in a chair meant for a child, he stared out the window as the carnage began.
* * *
Eric and the elves formed a line. When the first wave hit, the trip wire knocked down four of them. Lucas and George ran in and smashed their heads to pulpy bits with giant gingerbread men sticks from the garden.
Eric called out to them. “Lucas, George, get back into position.”
Lucas and George returned to the line. The front of their uniforms covered in a stinky ooze like substance.
Off to the side, Eric heard ornaments breaking. They were about to be breached from the left. A moment later the tree fell on top of a couple of zombies, disorienting them. Eric made quick work of them by knocking them to the ground then crushing their heads with the base of one of the candy canes that formed the entry way.
Eric smiled in grim satisfaction as the bodies twitched while he pounded their heads into pudding. When they stopped moving, he stopped smashing. He turned and moved back to the center area where his team fought with everything they had.
Eric heard a scream and saw Bella being taken down. Two zombies bit into her. Blood gushed out of her neck. One zombie reached inside and pulled out her intestines smiling greedily as he hunched over them. Gabe flew into a rage and ran to try and save her.
“Gabe wait!” He was too late.
The zombie Santa’s surrounded Gabe in seconds. They ripped him apart, tearing off an arm and both legs, while digging out his internal organs. Bits of Gabe were being munched on by at least seven different zombies.
The Undead That Saved Christmas Vol. 2 Page 18