Denise Oncken, chief of the Harris County District Attorney’s Office Child Abuse Division, told Houston Press reporter Sarah Fenske that such a light sentence wasn’t normal, “but it’s not outside the norm either.”
When Dea Shore found out about the plea bargain, she was shocked. She claimed to have not been consulted by the district attorney’s office. “They just don’t care. They told me they didn’t want the girls to feel guilt. I said, ‘Why should they? They are children. They don’t feel guilty.’”
Dea added that the girls feared for their lives. They were having bad dreams that their father would hunt them down at night and kill them. “I was furious. I’m still furious,” the girls’ grandmother declared.
* * *
Everyone and their mother knew Tony Shore got an incredible deal. Everyone, that is, except for Tony Shore.
When word of his probation got around to Southwestern Bell, he was unceremoniously fired. Within weeks of his sentence he had Bill Gifford file a motion to withdraw his plea agreement. He claimed that he had no idea that the requirements for a sex offender would be so stringent and that he had only heard the terms of the plea offer fifteen minutes before his hearing. He believed that was not a sufficient amount of time to digest the information and make a rational, sound decision.
When Regina Shore heard about the new motion, she wrote out and signed an affidavit that stated she believed her brother had molested more girls than just her nieces. She wrote about how he used to grope the little neighbor girls when they were kids. “I think there were a lot more girls he molested,” Regina wrote. “A lot more.”
A judge denied Shore’s motion to throw out his plea bargain.
* * *
Gina Worley Shore, Tony’s ex-wife, talked about the molestation charges. “If you go back through all of the news accounts of this,” Gina surmised, “he was really the one who tripped off all of this Predator Watch stuff. They did find him right across the street from a school. They just kind of glossed over it. They found him living like that and, really, all he got was a slap on the wrist. That was when they kicked off all this news mania about Predator Watch and they said, ‘Is there a sex offender close to your home?’”
Despite the seemingly light sentence, Tony and Amy Shore lost the services of their nanny/housekeeper and their yardman, suffering what Tony suggested was the ultimate indignity. “Suddenly we were faced with doing dishes, laundry, yard work, house cleaning, and this, combined with an inordinate amount of stress and mental strain from losing the kids and doubts in me about the offense, took its toll.”
CHAPTER 43
One of the major requirements of Tony Shore’s probation was to attend a sexual offender therapy program. Shore started off with a licensed sex offender treatment provider by the name of Dr. Barbara Levinson. This particular union only lasted two months, until he was reassigned to a new program through an organization called Crimson & Associates. Shore would deal mainly with Dr. Sharon Burns.
One of his big assignments in the treatment program was to keep a journal of his thoughts in regard to his offense and to other pertinent issues in his life. His notebook contained several insightful passages.
Tony Shore wrote about God.
In an essay entitled “Forgiveness Self,” he declared that he harbored “a lot of mixed emotions [regarding] . . . forgiveness” and wanted to know “how can I ever truly forgive myself for what I did?” Shore believed God sent him guardian angels and that he was protected. “I’ve confessed my sins and know I’m forgiven and will never go back.”
Shore always seemed to write exactly what he believed his counselors wanted to read. “I’m only a man. I have, however, forgiven myself on some level,” he detailed. Nowhere did he mention regret for having done what he did to his daughters.
Shore believed he was a prime candidate for rehabilitation “but until I am able to reconcile with my daughters . . . it will be impossible for me to find complete forgiveness for myself.”
Eventually Shore’s essay displayed a sense of remorse. “I have faith and believe God will see us through and bring us together someday,” he wrote in reference to Amber and Tiffany. “Someday I will have the opportunity to apologize and let them know this was totally my fault and nothing they did could have caused any of this.”
In his essay entitled “Drugs & Alcohol,” he wrote that he did not abuse alcohol or drugs. “I just never developed a taste for alcohol and don’t care for the woozy feeling it provides. I don’t like drugs and usually feign away from even prescribed drugs. I generally won’t even take Tylenol or aspirin.”
His one weakness was cocaine, which he claimed he used periodically in high school and college because it enhanced creative and artistic thought.
“In retrospect, it definitely clouded my judgment and, ironic, I feel it was a contributing factor when I offended Tiffany.” Shore could not quite place all of the blame on himself. “I left California when I was nineteen and had only used three or four times since then about every three to five years whenever a certain friend would come to visit when passing through Texas. He just happened to be visiting that week.”
Shore contended that if it weren’t for the cocaine, he would not have laid a finger on Tiffany. “I never would have imagined it possible for me to have done this horrible offense in the first place and know in my heart if my judgment wasn’t clouded at the time I believe I would have acted differently.”
Apparently, sex offender therapy class taught Shore one thing. Tell them what they want to hear.
“I can honestly say,” he contended, “I would rather die than harm my kids.” As a result, he swore off cocaine “because of the potential for disaster, harmful pain and suffering, loss of reason, and clouded judgment that comes with it.”
* * *
Tony Shore wrote about restrictions.
In an essay entitled “When I Offended Travel Health Recreation,” he wrote, “When I offended, my ability to travel and recreate were affected enormously.” He went on to list several places he could no longer visit due to travel restrictions. He missed out on San Antonio and the Riverwalk, Austin’s Hill Country, and camping at Ink Lake. He wouldn’t be able to hit the beaches of Galveston or go offshore fishing. No more camping or sailing for Shore either.
He lamented the fact that the restrictions basically ruined his shot for musical stardom. “I used to play piano for country music artist Brian Black on tour and contracted to play piano for several visiting artists at the Woodlands Pavilion.”
The reason his music career stalled was because “I am not allowed to attend events where children congregate.” He also could not play anywhere that served alcohol.
Shore again redirected the results of his incestuous molestation back on himself. “My restrictions on travel and recreation have all but brought my performing music to a complete and permanent halt.” He felt he was no longer the same man without his music. “I lost a major part of who I was when I offended.”
He described the pain derived from no longer being able to play music for others. He used to enjoy playing for crowds. “I loved touring and loved the limited fame and attention,” he reminisced. Music was his escape and now he no longer had that outlet.
Shore’s pain became even more dramatic.
“I really don’t know exactly how I survived it,” he recalled, referring to not being able to make a living from his music, “or why I didn’t give up all hope.”
Shore concluded the essay with “a large part of who I was for over thirty years is lost, gone forever, and there is a huge empty void in my soul. I know I’ll never be the same as a result of what I did.”
* * *
Tony Shore also wrote about self-esteem.
In his essay entitled “Self Esteem, Hopes, Religion Spiritualism,” he wrote, “When I offended, my self-esteem took a dive, my hopes and dreams were shattered, and my religious beliefs and spirituality were jeopardized and became suspect.”
He wrot
e of how he always thought highly of himself. “I was . . . living the All-American dream,” Shore believed. Never shy about his abilities, he conveyed that he was “confident, talented and self-assured.” People turned to him in their time of need. He was the answer man. “I was the solid Rock of Gibraltar.”
Shore wrote that he was amazed at what he did to his daughters. “I hated myself for what I had done and was loathe [sic] to find words or acceptance.” He added in a melodramatic flourish, “Our lives were all destroyed and the future was devoid of any hope. Literally, everything was lost.”
Shore wrote that he believed his nefarious actions had severe religious implications. “I was spiritually empty [and] felt that even going to hell was too good for the likes of me.”
Allegedly, he found salvation with the help of friends and therapy. “I really decided to come to grips with the harsh reality of what I had done and the weight of the harm and hurt I caused.”
Shore believed God would take care of him and his daughters. “I . . . do have faith in myself, my daughters, and God’s will to bring us together to find healing.”
* * *
Tony Shore wrote about why he would be a good candidate and a bad candidate for sex offender therapy treatment.
The good reasons he listed were because he was a sex offender and he wanted “to learn and understand empathy.” He wanted to be able to forgive himself and he wanted to work on his anger. “I’m angry at myself,” he wrote. “I’m angry at the system and hope to learn to redirect that anger into positive and constructive behavior and hope to be a better person.”
His bad reasons were “because I am educated and intelligent and think I already know everything I need to know.” He described himself as “hard-headed and resistant to other people’s ideas.” He also declared that he was a bad candidate due to the financial stress such treatment would toll. He was also a bad candidate because he “is a good person and [doesn’t] need someone else to tell me right from wrong.” He also declared that he did not like confrontation and was resistant to change.
Interestingly, Shore wrote down “because I already know that I will never offend again” and then scribbled the passage out.
He was also asked to write more about his restrictions. He stated that “no contact with children” would not be a problem because “children irritate me.” In regard to his social life, he stated that he was “not very social” but that he did “occasionally enjoy the company of other adult friends and intellectual conversation.” He also stated that he would continue to perform music at private parties and restaurants. He would not play weddings and funerals, because he hated them.
Shore also wrote about not being able to go to bars. “I don’t and never did enjoy bars, clubs, big festive events where people get drunk and stupid.” On the other hand, he declared, “I don’t impose my values on others.”
* * *
Tony Shore wrote down his thoughts as to relationships. “I would just as soon be alone than to be with someone too independent.”
He also wrote about any additional hobbies he may have had. “I don’t have any outside of the preoccupation of fashion [worn by] young women in music.” He was determined that his daughters would become “famous rich successful rock stars on MTV to succeed in the music industry where I failed.”
* * *
Tony Shore wrote about his mother.
In an essay entitled “What I Would Lose If I Decided to Forgive My Mother,” he spoke of the resentment he had toward his mother. “It is extremely difficult to not be consumed with hatred when I am reminded daily of the loss and pain she imposed on me as a result of her greed and obsession for money.”
Shore described his hatred for his mother as an “incurable cancer” that had caused him “irreparable damage.” He claimed that he had forgiven her, but “it is a very difficult task because hating her and choosing to lie blame there has been like an addiction for me.”
Shore claimed that if he forgave his mother, he would “lose the comfort of depression and feeling sorry for myself.”
In the end, however, it did not appear as if he would ever forgive his mother. “It is difficult to let go of a bad habit,” he wrote of his hatred for his mother. “But I’m willing to try.” He described his mother as evil and he had a unique way of dealing with her. “I will try for now to just write her off as a non-person. Dead to this world and try to cope by not wasting any more time thinking of her.”
Not exactly the most forgiving soul on the planet.
* * *
Tony Shore wrote about how he messed up his life.
He described himself as “a primadonna [sic] know-it-all who offends people.” He also wrote that he was stubborn and set in his ways, extremely critical of himself, and a poor listener. He also stated that he was irresponsible and would often make excuses for his shortcomings. He quoted the axiom: “Argue for your limitations and they are yours forever.”
He added that he wanted to appear better than everyone else and that his situation in life was different and more important than everyone else’s.
* * *
Tony Shore wrote about his daughters.
“I spoiled my girls,” he admitted. He had a nanny do their chores for them and he gave them both $50-a-week allowance for shopping. “I allowed them to wear makeup, dye their hair, play in a band, dress and act much older than they were.”
Shore thought very high of his daughters. “They were talented, beautiful, and physically well-developed,” and he liked to show them off.
He allowed the girls to wear “promiscuous” clothes as an act of defiance. He believed the girls’ schools were too strict with their required dress codes. “I let them because I wanted to encourage their artistic freedom of expression.”
Shore loved to go out in public and put his three “young women”—Amy, Amber, and Tiffany—on display. “It stoked my ego to be seen with such beautiful young women in public. I had a huge ego.”
His interest sounded a bit unfatherly. “I spent a great deal of time watching them perform. I ritually enjoyed looking at them.” His interest seemed to go beyond that of the loving father role. “Internally I knew there were times I looked at them more as young women than my little girls.” His interest increased as the girls grew older. “I spent an inordinate amount of time worrying about how boys/men might try to take advantage of my young beauties.”
Shore even described the lustful feelings in his heart that he held for his girls. “There were times that I would imagine their young well-developed bodies and feel ashamed of myself at the thought, but I nevertheless allowed myself to look at their muscular bodies and firm full breasts.”
He added in his treatment notebook that “I was guilty of dissecting and disrobing [them] with my eyes.” His descriptions of his lustful feelings became more graphic: “I imagined what they looked like under their clothes. I would watch them in their short skirts or dancing around in braless tops.” He knew what he was thinking was wrong, but he could not stop. “I would fantasize about what these young rock stars look like naked. They were still my little girls.”
Shore succinctly described his behavior in regard to his daughters as “predatory.”
He used to call his daughters “my little babes” and tell them that they were “too cool for school.” He claimed he said these things to them so it “might inflate their inner egos.”
* * *
Tony Shore wrote specifically about what he did to his youngest daughter, Tiffany.
In an essay entitled “Despair—Tiffany,” he stated, “Despair with Tiffany was huge from the start. I was in despair before, during, and after the offense.”
He blamed his actions on outside stimuli. “My judgment was impaired by cocaine and I made several bad decisions, one after the next, which intensified the feelings of despair and hopelessness.”
He described how he felt as he molested his youngest daughter. “I remember feeling afraid and confused, but when I hear
d noises outside the restroom and realized the risk of my indiscretion being discovered, I immediately came to my senses.”
He described the fear he felt. “Confusion, shame, helplessness, all increased dramatically. Panic about being caught. Panic how Tiff would react. Shame at my actions, scared of consequences not only for myself but for my family, our future. Scared of what possible trauma I could have caused my daughter.”
Shore chastised himself for his behavior. “I broke the promise to myself that I would never touch my daughters that way. My despair was huge.”
At least he admitted his selfishness. “I believe my despair at the time was mostly for myself.” He also acknowledged that his daughter’s despair had to have been worse than his own. He wrote of how he violated her while she was “sick and confused. Rather than giving her care, comfort, and safety when she turned to me for help, she was betrayed.”
In another essay Shore wrote that Tiffany and her friends stole some alcohol and got plastered. “My daughter was a complete mess. I was angry. I wanted to discipline them and most specifically her for allowing this to happen.”
In yet another essay he claimed there was a party going on in his house, he was high on cocaine, and the girls were drunk. He also wrote that Tiffany was “vomiting all over herself.” He claimed he was afraid the girls’ parents would find out that their daughters had been drinking and “I would be shunned, embarrassed, and surely in trouble for not being more aware of what was going on and preventing this from happening.”
Instead of being a mature adult and taking responsibility for his poor chaperoning skills, he said, “I panicked. My decision was to cover up. Do damage control and hide from the reality. I told everyone to go to bed and sleep it off.
“I carried Tiffany to the bathroom,” he continued, “as she could not walk and put her in the shower.” Shore washed the vomit off his daughter in the shower.
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