by Unknown
And the trouble was, much of what King said was absolutely true; she knew the college would be very careful about taking disciplinary action.
He was dead wrong about one thing, however, and it was like a lifeline to Alex in the midst of all the ugliness. Shirley would lie to save King's neck, but Alex was positive Becky would tell the truth. Becky would back her up as to what had really happened in that operating room this morning. Becky would probably be home by now. Her shift had ended hours ago.
Alex reached for the phone, then laid it back in its cradle. She wouldn't phone. She'd drive over instead and talk to Becky in person. She felt better already.
"I CAN'T DO IT , ALEX. I'm sorry." There was anguish in Becky's voice, but her refusal was adamant. She stared down at her hands, clasped tightly in her lap, and wouldn't meet Alex's disbelieving gaze.
"I guess if it came down to a court case, I'd have to say what happened. But writing it down and sending it to the College of Physicians and Surgeons voluntarily? Lodging a complaint against King?" She shook her head, and her bright hair gleamed in the fading light from the window.
"There's too much at stake for me, don't you see that, Alex? Apart from small pensions, the only household income is mine. And I've seen what happens to nurses when they cross King. More than one has lodged complaints during the four years I've worked at the hospital. He and Shirley made their lives so miserable they had no choice except to get out of here."
Alex felt stunned. She couldn't believe Becky's reaction. She struggled to find the words that would convince the other woman. "But—but there are other places, Becky, other hospitals. You could get a job anywhere, you—you're a wonderful nurse."
Becky shook her head again, more vehemently this time, and now there was anger in her tone. "Maybe so, but for me—for us—that's just not possible, Alex. Apart from the fact that all our friends and relatives are here in Korbin Lake, there's the matter of housing. We couldn't afford to buy a house somewhere else with the little that we'd get for this. And sure, Mom could probably get a job of some sort—God knows she waitressed and cleaned houses when I was a kid—but there's Emily. Em needs all the time and attention Mom and I can give her, you know that. And Gram... She hasn't much time left. How could we drag her out of the hospital, move her somewhere else, at the—the end of her life?"
Becky looked at Alex at last, and her eyes were filled with both resentment and abject misery. "I'm sick over what happened, don't think I'm not. I knew Johnnie. He was two grades behind me at school. He was nice." Tears welled up and spilled over. "Dr. King made it clear this morning after you left the operating room that he expects Shirley and I to support his claim that what happened was an accident and that everyone did everything possible to save Johnnie's life."
Alex nodded. She'd suspected as much. She'd just never dreamed that Becky would go along with him. There was nothing to do now except leave the other woman as much dignity as possible. "I'm sorry I put you in this position, Becky. I—I guess I didn't think the whole thing through enough."
"What—are you going to do?" Becky wiped her wet cheeks.
Alex thought it over for a moment, trying to formulate a plan now that she was alone in this whole thing. Gut-wrenching fear stabbed at her, but she fought it off. "First of all, I'm giving my written report to the hospital administrator. Then, depending on what action he takes, I'm sending it to the college. I already spoke to King." Alex shook her head and gave a humorless little laugh. "Naturally, he denies any responsibility."
Becky nodded. "You probably won't get far with the administrator, either. Perkins and King are fishing buddies. And the coroner, Sid Drysdale, is Olinda's cousin, so as far as he's able, he'll just verify what Doctor King says."
"But what about Mrs. Williams?" Alex felt a thread of hope. "Surely she'll question her husband's death? If it were me, I'd get a lawyer and launch an investigation. These days, it's almost unheard of for a young man in reasonably good health to die from something as basic as a gall bladder operation. Everybody must know that."
Again, Becky shook her head. "I'm willing to bet she won't do anything. Dr. King helped Laura get her mother into a nursing home last year. The old woman was senile and she was driving Laura nuts. King was also responsible for Laura getting her job with the municipality. He's been their family doctor since she was a kid. She sees him as her personal savior. She'd never question anything he says about what happened to Johnnie."
"I see. Well, I guess it's up to me, then." Feeling defeated almost before she'd begun, Alex got to her feet. She'd asked to speak privately to Becky, so they were in the seldom-used front room, and she could hear Emily wailing from another part of the house. The smell of food cooking reminded her that it was late, that she should let Becky join her family for supper.
Becky, too, got up, again wiping her eyes. "I know how badly I'm letting you down, Alex. I'm so sorry. I feel like such a traitor." There was torment in her voice.
Alex tried for a smile and couldn't quite manage it. "Hey, I understand. like I said, I'm sorry I've put you in such a difficult position. Say goodbye to Sadie for me, will you, and give Emily a kiss." She moved toward the door, wondering if she'd ever be invited here again and welcomed as a friend.
"CAMERON, I REALLY NEED TO talk to you." Alex stood in the doorway of the garage. The room was brightly lit and the air reeked of gas and oil. Cameron was sprawled on his stomach holding a wrench, and David was on his back with only his legs and feet protruding from beneath the frame of the old car.
"Be with you in half an hour or so, hon. We're trying to get the muffler off. The bloody thing is rusted and burned, and it won't budge." He didn't so much as glance her way.
The desperation that had been increasing every inch of the way home overwhelmed her, and she lost control. "I don't give a damn what you're doing, Cameron," she shrieked. "Just for once, would you listen to what I have to say when I need to say it? I've got to talk to you right now."
He looked up at her, surprise and concern on his face. "Okay, okay, I'm coming. Dave, I gotta go. I'll be back soon as I can."
A mutter of assent came from underneath the car as Cameron laid down the wrench and got to his feet.
Alex turned away, hurrying down the path that led to the wharf. She needed to be outside, in the clean fresh air. She needed to feel that something in the world was untainted.
She could hear Cameron's footsteps behind her, crunching on the gravel, but she didn't turn around or wait for him. She felt more alone than she'd ever felt in her life.
AS HE FOLLOWED HER down the path, Cameron's sense of apprehension grew. Something was terribly wrong. From the tone of Alex's voice and the expression on her face, he knew there was an emergency of some sort. She was also mad at him, and with a sinking feeling in his gut, he tried to figure out what new calamity might have occurred.
The sun had set long ago, and the lake was like pewter in the dusk. A few yards away a fish jumped, and somewhere far off a loon laughed insanely. It was ironic, Cameron, mused, that they'd lived in the apartment in the city, with all the noise and confusion of a busy street a few yards away from them, and yet they hadn't experienced half the turmoil they'd had since they'd lived in this idyllic setting.
Alex walked to the very end of the small wharf and sank down on the weathered boards, drawing her knees up and hugging them to her chest, staring out at the water.
"So what's up, Doc?" He tried to sound upbeat, but he knew he sounded wary. The last thing he needed or wanted just now was another confrontation with his wife.
She spoke without looking at him, her voice a monotone. "A young man died in the operating room this morning. I was giving the anesthetic. It was a gall bladder operation, King nicked the liver and the man bled out." Her voice suddenly became passionate. "A gall bladder, for God's sake. Nobody dies from a simple gall bladder operation anymore." She struggled for control, and he wailed, trying to assess the problem.
Her voice became flat and hard again as
she related every terrible detail of the operation and its macabre outcome. But as she explained it all, telling him exactly what had been said in her confrontation with King, the emotions she'd been holding back gradually overcame her, and she began to sniffle and then to cry openly.
"The thing is, it's my fault, too, Cam. I knew after that cesarean that King wasn't fit, that something ought to be done to stop him from operating." The tears increased, and she gulped and fumbled for a tissue, blowing her nose and wiping her eyes. "But I—I didn't say anything. King is—he's so—overwhelming. He can be so nasty and sarcastic, it's been pure hell working with him at the clinic, and now there's this." She rested her head on her knees and sobbed for several long moments.
Her tears tore a hole in his heart. Cam reached out a hand to touch her soft, curling hair, but he realized at the last moment he was covered with grease. He felt helpless, witnessing her grief, and utterly appalled that he hadn't known exactly what was going on or how hard it had been for her.
And once again, it was all his fault.
She blew her nose and said in a tear-choked voice, "We'd—we'd just started getting along a little, enough so that I didn't hate going to the clinic so much and—and having to confront him every day. And I'd fi-finally started getting a few patients. Things were getting easier, and I didn't want to rock the b-boat. And now this poor man is dead, and I could have prevented it. I could have—" She lowered her head to her knees and sobbed as if her heart were breaking.
All of a sudden, Cameron was deeply, horribly angry, at himself, at circumstance, or fate—at whatever malevolent force had put in motion the events that had brought them here and caused such heartbreak.
"I guess I didn't understand before just how much you hate it here in Korbin Lake." His voice was rough. "Why the hell didn't you tell me King was being such a bastard to you?"
Her head snapped up and she glared at him. "What could you have done about it, Cameron? Punch him out? Tell him not to be mean to your little wife?" She shook her head. "The one valuable thing all this has taught me is that I can fight my own battles." A sob caught her breath. "It's been bad enough knowing my father bent someone's arm just to get me hired here—I was right about that, by the way. King used it against me tonight. The last thing I need is my husband protecting me at this late date." She looked at him, her eyes streaming, her nose ted, and there was defiance in that look instead of the love that had always shone there.
The pain in his gut was so overwhelming he nearly doubled over.
"See, I've grown up, Cam. I don't need you to defend me anymore. You've taught me the hard way to stand on my own two feet. Every time I've needed you lately, you haven't been there for me."
He loved this woman more than life itself, and it was evident that he'd failed her completely, in every way, beginning at the moment he'd decided to do something about Perchinsky. And now, when he realized the extent of her despair, he couldn't see what he could do to help her, and his sense of helplessness devastated him.
More and more often lately, he'd questioned the decisions he'd made that had landed them here in Korbin Lake. Maybe he ought to have turned his back on what was going on in the drug squad, let matters take their course. After all, Alex was the person he loved most in all the world, and he was all toe aware that his decisions had seriously affected her career. His gut knotted again, and he felt nauseated as he admitted the rest of it to himself.
Not just her career. Their marriage, too, was damaged.
Alex was talking, and he had to make an effort to hear the words over the clamor inside his head.
"You've gone away to a place where I can't reach you, Cameron." She sounded exhausted, without hope. "You never really hear what I have to say, you're not home when I need you, we don't talk about anything that really matters. Even when we make love there's a barrier between us."
His terrible sense of guilt, his awful fear, made him defensive. "I'm having a hell of a time with this transition from Drug Squad to general duty. You're not the only one with a demanding job. This is a two-man detachment. I practically have to live in my bloody uniform, you know that. And when I'm not working, I'm right here. We talk. We're talking right now."
But he knew it was his fault. It was because of him she had to work in a backwoods mining town and take crap from a has-been who wasn't fit to call himself a doctor.
Cameron had to control the rush of blind fury that made him want to seek the man out and beat him senseless for what he'd said and done to Alex. What stopped him was knowing that what he'd done to her himself was just as bad.
"Did you speak to Harry Perkins about this?" His mind was racing, desperately trying to figure out what was best to do, how he could best help her.
She shook her head. "Not—not yet," she gulped.
"Why the hell not?" His tone was accusatory, although he didn't mean it to be. "You've let a whole day go by, and the person you should have gone to right away was the hospital administrator, for God's sake.'
"I know that, Cam. But he wasn't in this afternoon, so I made an appointment to see him first thing in the morning."
His brain went furiously from one option to the next. He needed to help, wanted to make it better for her, yet knew that this time he wouldn't be able to. "And what about the guy's widow? Can't you talk to her, let her know what King did? Seems she has a right to know exactly what happened to her husband."
Alex shook her head. "I can't do that, Cam. It's not ethical, and besides, it's just my word against King's."
"Hogwash. You two weren't alone in that operating room. The nurses saw what happened."
Alex nodded. "They did, but Shirley is King's mistress, and, and—" She swallowed painfully, and her voice was bleak.' 'Becky won't back me up. She needs her job-she has too many responsibilities to jeopardize it. I asked her for help, and she refused,"
God. He knew exactly how that worked. Oh, he knew. All those men he'd worked with over the years, men he'd had to trust with his life, and not a single one of them had backed him when he needed it.
He could hardly bear the thought of Alex feeling that same sense of betrayal. There had to be something...
"Ask for a full investigation by the College of Physicians and Surgeons. They hire ex-policemen as investigators. They'd sure as hell figure out in short order that King-"
All of a sudden, Alex scrambled to her feet, startling him. Her face was tight and angry, her voice cold. "I don't need you to tell me what to do, Cam. I told you, this is my problem. I know what steps I need to take."
He swallowed, and his hands curled into fists.
"Then what the hell do you want from me, Alex?"
She looked at him, her deep blue eyes signaling disappointment, resentment, utter despair. "If I have to spell it out, it isn't worth much, is it, Cameron? There was a time when you didn't have to ask what I needed from you. God knows I still love you, but for me, this marriage just isn't working anymore." Her face crumpled, and she turned her back to him and ran up the hill.
Shocked to the depths of his being, frightened half to death, it took him several minutes to act.
"Alex. Alex, wait just a damn minute." His furious voice echoed off of the mountains across the lake, and the kitchen door slammed shut behind her fleeing figure.
Cameron tore up the steps to the back porch and threw open the door, meaning to take her in his arms and shake her, or kiss her, or just hold her—something, anything, to ease the awful sense of fear and loss her words had created. But she was already up the stairs, and before he could catch her, the bathroom door slammed and the lock clicked home.
He knocked. He banged the old wooden panels dangerously hard with his fist. "Alex, let me in. Let me talk to you, please."
"Go away. Just leave me alone, Cameron. I want to have a bath."
The water started in the tub, drowning out any possibility of conversation.
Cursing, helpless, longing to strike out at something tangible, he made his way back outside agai
n and into the garage.
David was cleaning his greasy hands on a rag. He looked over at Cameron and frowned. "Trouble?"
Cameron nodded but didn't elaborate. "You get that muffler off?"
David shook his head. "We need a blow torch, and I promised Becky I'd take a look at her washing machine, so I'm not messing with this muffler anymore tonight. I'm heading in for a shower."
"You're seeing a lot of Becky." Cam did his best to keep his tone neutral, but David was instantly defensive.
"So?"
"So I wonder just how well you know her, that's all. Whether you could maybe have a talk with her, get her to see reason on something. There was a situation in the operating room this morning—a guy died because King made a mistake. Alex called him on it, but Becky won't back her up. Alex figures King shouldn't be operating anymore, but she needs Becky's help to stop him."
"And you want me to see if I can change Becky's mind about this?"
"Yeah." It was the only thing Cam could think of that might help his wife. "I happen to know how convincing you can be with women."
David gave him an inscrutable look and then, to Cameron's amazement, he slowly shook his head. "Sorry, but I won't do it, Cam. If Becky doesn't want to be involved, then I respect her decision."
For a long moment, Cameron just stood and looked at David as the meaning of his words slowly sunk in.
"Without even hearing Becky's reasons, you support her?" The anger inside Cameron erupted all over again. He didn't stop to consider who it was directed toward. "David, every single time you've been in a jam, I was there for you." He spat out the words through clenched teeth. "Now, when I need your help, you refuse. Where the hell's your sense of loyalty, brother?"
As always in his dealings with David, he realized too late that he was going about this all wrong, that in another instant David would lose his own temper and storm off, the way he'd always done when he and Cameron had a disagreement. But David met Cameron's steely look with one of his own, and in spite of his anger, Cameron glimpsed something different in his brother at that moment, a strength and sense of purpose that hadn't been there before. And even more surprising, instead of stomping off in a rage, David held his ground.