* * *
Emmy stood behind the curtain a few older students had helped her string across the front of the schoolroom for their Christmas pageant. The children scurried to find their places, all chaos and distraction. Thankfully she had put on enough pageants to know that as soon as the audience quieted and the play began, the children would remember their parts and do well. And, if they didn’t, their parents would still be proud and clap as loud as they could.
Levi and Zeb stood in the angel costumes Mrs. Carver had sewn for them, their bright faces glowing with expectation as they spoke to their friends in hushed whispers. She’d said hello to Mrs. Carver when they arrived, and had watched for Ben, though he hadn’t come with them.
Emmy had only seen him twice since their ill-fated kiss, and that had been at church. He had been cordial and as kind as ever, though there had been distance between them. Adam had asked to take her home from church last Sunday and she had agreed, though she noticed Ben’s attention on them as they left.
Zeb giggled and put his hands up to his mouth, while Levi let out a laugh that filled the space where the children were waiting.
“Shh,” Emmy warned, though she couldn’t stop from smiling. Her students were excited, and she was, too. She just wished she could hold on to this moment for a bit longer, knowing Levi and Zeb would be leaving the next day. From what Mrs. Carver said, Ben had decided not to tell the boys their father was coming. He wanted them to enjoy their last days in Little Falls with nothing hindering their joy.
She looked out a crack of the curtain, scanning the full room for a glimpse of the man her heart longed to see. The schoolhouse was packed from front to back. There wasn’t a seat left to be had, or a spot left to stand in.
Her breath stilled when she finally found him. Ben stood along the wall with Mrs. Carver seated next to him and his father standing beside him. Ben smiled at something his housekeeper said, though she could sense a heaviness about his countenance that made her want to go to him and carry his burdens away.
He couldn’t see her, which offered her the luxury of taking in her fill of him. She had missed him dearly and had hoped for a glimpse of him every day, but the boys had come and gone from school like all the other children—alone. When she ran her errands in town, she had hoped she might run into him, but she hadn’t had the pleasure. He was more handsome than ever before and the flutter in her stomach more pronounced. She closed her eyes, willing her feelings for him to disappear.
“Miss Wilkes.” Greta Merchant spoke quietly beside Emmy. She was dressed as Mary and held little Louise Cooper, asleep and as peaceful as Emmy imagined the Christ child had been. “It’s almost seven.”
Peeking at her watch, Emmy realized they only had two minutes before the play would begin. “Children,” she whispered in a voice loud enough for them to hear. “Find your places. We will begin shortly.”
Once everyone was situated, Emmy took a deep breath, smiled at her students and then stepped out from behind the curtain, her heart pounding at the idea of speaking in front of such a large crowd—though the only one she was truly conscious of was Ben.
The room quieted and Emmy clasped her hands together, meeting the gazes of several people she knew. Adam sat in the front row, his besotted smile for her alone. She nodded acknowledgment and tried not to let her gaze go to the side of the room where she knew Ben was standing, but she couldn’t stop herself. She met his eyes and offered a brief smile, her insides warming at the intense look in his eyes.
She glanced away quickly.
“Good evening and merry Christmas,” Emmy managed to say to the audience.
“Merry Christmas,” several people responded.
“On behalf of the students, I’d like to welcome you to the Christmas pageant.”
Applause broke out and Emmy could hear some of the children giggling behind the curtain.
“Tonight, we will celebrate Christmas with a pageant and then some carols. The children have been practicing for weeks and they are eager to share their joy for the holiday season with you. Please sit back, relax and enjoy the program.” She smiled and took the seat that had been reserved for her up front where she could prompt the children, if necessary—and it happened to be next to Adam.
The pageant began, with Mary and Joseph journeying to Bethlehem for the census. Emmy sat back in pleasant surprise as the children performed the play with very few mistakes and little prompting.
When the Christ child was born and the angels stepped out to proclaim the King’s birth, Levi and Zeb stood among them, their voices joining in glorifying Jesus’s birth. Both boys beamed at Emmy, Zeb’s toothless smile especially wide.
Baby Louise woke up, her eyes huge as she blinked. She began to cry and the angels stopped singing. Charlotte had to go forward to take her from Greta’s arms.
With no baby Jesus, the students looked at one another, unsure how to proceed, but then Levi stepped forward, his voice high and clear, and picked up the song where the angels had left off.
Soon, the other children joined in, and the pageant continued as if the baby was still in Mary’s arms.
Levi looked at Emmy and grinned, his eyes shining. Emmy placed her hand over her heart, feeling as if it was expanding inside. She smiled back, hoping her eyes conveyed her appreciation and love.
When the pageant came to an end, the room erupted in applause. The children clasped hands and took a bow. Emmy stood and joined her students, receiving more applause from those gathered.
After the applause quieted, she nodded at the children and Maggie Ritters, the smallest child in the class, stepped forward and began to sing “Silent Night.” Her sweet voice filled the room, causing many eyes to tear up.
Emmy motioned for the other children and the audience to join in the second verse.
Outside, the world was dark and the stars were sparkling. Inside, the room swelled with the beautiful melody of Emmy’s favorite Christmas carol. Her eyes met Ben’s again, and this time he offered the slightest smile. Warmth filled her cheeks and joy filled her heart.
They sang two more songs, and then Emmy called the evening to a close, wishing everyone a merry Christmas and a happy break from school.
Parents gathered their children, and Mrs. Carver came to collect the boys. “You’re coming for our Christmas celebration, aren’t you, dearie?” she asked Emmy.
For two weeks she had thought about the invitation Ben had extended to spend this evening with him and the boys, but that had been before the kiss. “I’m not sure. Is Ben expecting me?”
“I am,” he said from behind her.
She turned and found him standing a few feet away.
“The boys and I cut down a tree and decorated it for our celebration,” he said. “We’d all be disappointed if you didn’t join us.”
“I came in with the Janners,” she explained. “I won’t have a way home...”
“I’ll drive you.” His face was stoic and hard to read as he looked at her.
What would they say alone in the sleigh, under the stars? Would it be awkward? Healing? She didn’t care. She just wanted to be with him and the boys one more time. “Thank you.”
“Come, boys,” Mrs. Carver said to Levi and Zeb. “Let’s run home and light the candles on the tree before Miss Emmy comes.”
The boys jumped and cheered, and Zeb gave Emmy’s legs an impromptu hug.
“I’ll go with you,” Ben’s father said to Mrs. Carver. “If I may be of any help.”
“We’d be happy for it.” Mrs. Carver nodded at Mr. Lahaye.
Adam approached Emmy, his face shining as he reached for her hands. “That was marvelous, Emmy.”
She allowed him to give her hands a squeeze and then she pulled away. “Thank you, Adam.”
Ben started to take down the curtain, though he appeared to be ig
noring her and Adam. It would be impossible not to hear them—but it looked like he was trying.
“Do you need help setting the classroom to rights?” Adam asked as he eyed Ben.
“I don’t think so. Reverend Lahaye has stayed to help.” Though he hadn’t asked if she needed help. He’d just gone to work doing whatever needed to be done.
Adam nodded and gave his full attention to Emmy. “Have you changed your mind about the Christmas Eve ball? If you have, I’d be honored to escort you.”
“I plan to stay home and write some letters to my family back east.” She smiled, hoping he wouldn’t take it to heart. “I hope you have a very merry Christmas.”
Adam looked from her to Ben and back. “May I come to call on Christmas Day?”
Emmy nibbled her bottom lip, unsure if she should continue to give her permission when she had no intentions to pursue a romantic relationship with Adam. Yet she hated to be alone on Christmas with the Janners. “If you’d like.”
His smile was hopeful. “I look forward to the day.”
He took his leave, along with many other families.
Emmy spoke to several parents who waited in line to visit with her.
Ben finished taking down the curtain and then he moved Emmy’s desk back to the front of the room.
Mr. Samuelson approached and Emmy braced herself.
“That was a pleasant pageant,” he said, his mustache twitching. “But I’m disappointed that my Annabeth wasn’t Mary.”
“It was a hard decision to make,” Emmy said. “This is Greta’s last year in school, but Annabeth has a couple years left. Perhaps she can be Mary next year.”
He narrowed his eyes, studying her as if she was on display in a store window.
“I haven’t made a decision about you, Miss Wilkes.” He stroked his mustache. “I suppose we’ve come to the end of the term, and you’ll be wondering if you still have a job.”
She had wondered that very thing, but she thought she wouldn’t address the issue, hoping it would resolve on its own.
Ben approached and Mr. Samuelson looked his way. “Good,” the superintendent said. “I had wanted another board member here when I discussed my concerns with Miss Wilkes.”
Ben crossed his arms, watching Mr. Samuelson closely. “What concerns do you have now?”
“It’s come to my attention that Miss Wilkes has been entertaining Mr. Russell at the Janners’ home. I just saw her speaking to him now.”
Emmy swallowed, wishing anyone but Ben was standing there.
“Do you deny these claims?” Mr. Samuelson asked Emmy.
She shook her head. “I do not deny them.”
“So, you’re guilty, then?”
“Guilty of what?”
“You said you would not marry or even entertain a gentleman caller.”
“Mr. Russell is just a friend, nothing more.”
Ben didn’t look at Emmy as she spoke.
“I can promise you I will be single and ready to continue teaching after the first of the year,” Emmy said to the superintendent. “I would very much appreciate retaining my job.”
The older gentleman stared at her as he stroked his mustache. Finally, he looked at Ben. “What do you think, Reverend Lahaye?”
“I think Miss Wilkes has been an outstanding teacher and we would be blessed to have her stay on.”
His simple statement made Emmy feel as if she was floating. Even though he was upset at the turn of events in their relationship, he was still kind and gracious.
“You will remain on probation.” Mr. Samuelson pointed at her. “Any hint of impropriety and you’ll be replaced.”
She wanted to sigh. Would they play this game for the next several years, until he knew she was serious about her desire to stay single?
“Goodbye, Miss Wilkes,” Mr. Samuelson said. “I hope you have a merry Christmas.”
It was the kindest thing he’d ever said to her, and it left her speechless.
Everyone drifted out of the schoolhouse, leaving Emmy and Ben alone like so many other times—yet, this time was much different. The air between them was thick with awkwardness. She didn’t know what to say or how to behave.
She blew out the lanterns and didn’t bother to bank the stove, since she wouldn’t return for several weeks. The bleak and dreary winter break spread before her with yawning boredom. How would she endure day after day with the Janners and no school to fill her time?
She shook the thoughts away. Instead of dwell on her troubles, she would look forward to the next few hours with Ben and the boys.
Ben held her coat for her and she slipped into it, and then she locked the doors behind her.
They started toward the parsonage, the air crisp and thin. The snow crunched under their feet and the tree branches were laden with snow.
“It’s going to be strange to go back to the school without Zeb and Levi sitting in the front row.” Her voice caught and she had to bite her lip to stop it from trembling.
“I can’t even think of it,” Ben said quietly, shoving his hands into his pockets. “I keep pretending like it’s not happening.”
She took a deep, cold breath and let it out in a billowing fog. “Let’s not think about tomorrow. Instead, let’s make tonight the best it can be. No sadness allowed.”
He looked at her and nodded. “No sadness allowed.”
They could make-believe for one night, couldn’t they?
Chapter Nineteen
Mrs. Carver’s merry laughter brought a smile to Emmy’s face as she sat near the Christmas tree and watched the dear old lady open a gift from Levi and Zeb. The potato masher was shiny and new, and she waved it at the boys with a chuckle. “My daughter is looking forward to my mashed potatoes again. I just had a letter from her yesterday and she said it’s the only food she can think about as her time is drawing near to have that grandchild of mine.”
Zeb snuggled in next to Mrs. Carver and looked up at her. “Can I be one of your grandchildren?”
The sweet old woman drew him as close as she could and nuzzled her head against his. “You always will be, my Zebby boy.”
Emmy looked across the room where Ben was sitting with his father. Her gaze caught his and she was afraid she might start to cry at the look of sadness in his brown eyes.
Phillippe must have sensed the shift in everyone’s mood, because he stepped forward and handed his gift to Mrs. Carver. “Madame Carver,” he said with a bow as he presented the wrapped box to her. “For all your fine meals and your hospitality.”
Mrs. Carver’s cheeks blossomed with color as she accepted the box. “You didn’t need to bother.”
“It is not every day that a man can eat so well. I only wish I could give you more.” The large man took his seat beside Ben again, and Emmy couldn’t help but notice that something had changed between father and son. She’d even heard Ben call him père several times that evening, and if she wasn’t mistaken that meant father in French.
She longed to ask Ben what had happened, but she didn’t think it was any of her business. After tomorrow, when the boys left, she would no longer have a tie to Ben and it was better that way.
Emmy studied Levi’s and Zeb’s little faces, listened to the cadence of their speech and watched their mannerisms as they laughed and played, trying to memorize everything about them. She would need these memories to hold on to when she missed them the most.
It was something she hadn’t had the luxury of doing when William died. The last time she’d been with him, she hadn’t known it was the last time. They had been so busy making plans to head west, she had been distracted most of the time, and when they had said their final goodbye, she had hardly glanced in his direction as he left her parents’ home.
She wouldn’t let that happen
with her and the boys.
Mrs. Carver unwrapped the box and took off the lid. She pulled out a beautiful straw bonnet with a wide pink ribbon and a sprig of pink flowers near the left ear. It was a simple bonnet, yet very elegant, and if Emmy was correct, it was the one in the milliner’s window that had cost far too much for her to consider owning.
“Monsieur Lahaye!” Mrs. Carver’s eyes grew wide and she shook her head. “I cannot accept this gift.”
“And why not?” he asked with a frown.
“It’s too extravagant for a widow.”
Mr. Lahaye slapped his thigh and began to laugh. “If you keep cooking the way you do, I imagine that bonnet will become a courting bonnet soon.”
Her color deepened and she placed the hat back in its box, though she didn’t insist on returning it to him.
Everyone had already given the boys their gifts, clothes from Mrs. Carver, books from Emmy, boots and hats from Mr. Lahaye and warm coats from Ben. The gifts were practical, but Emmy knew they would go a long way in helping the boys stay comfortable and educated once they returned home with their father.
Mrs. Carver had received her gifts, and there had been a few things for Mr. Lahaye.
“Now it’s Miss Emmy’s turn!” Levi jumped to his feet and went to the tree where he lifted a small box and brought it to her as if he was carrying a platter of fine crystal. “I asked if I could be the one to give it to you.”
She took the small box and smiled at him. “Thank you.”
“Open it!” Zeb cried from his place near Mrs. Carver, his impatience making everyone laugh.
The box fit comfortably in her hand as she untied the white string and let the paper fall away. With deliberate care, she lifted off the lid and her breath caught when she looked at the beautiful gold locket. A tree had been intricately engraved into the face of the piece of jewelry, its leaves unfurling in a whimsical pattern.
“It’s from all of us!” Levi said. “Mr. Ben picked it out, but we—”
“Hush, Levi,” Mrs. Carver said. “Let her open it and see for herself.”
Tears filled Emmy’s eyes and her lips trembled as she lifted the delicate chain from the box, watching the locket spin when it was free. She set down the box and then took hold of the locket.
The Gift of Twins Page 20