by J Lynne
Trevor pointed at the brownie with a raised eyebrow.
Daniel scoffed. “I ran this morning.” He shoved the chocolate goodie in his mouth.
An old woman with a red flower turned around from the last row and hushed Daniel. She held a withered finger to her mouth. He mimicked her and flipped her off. Daniel smiled when Trevor didn’t admonish his behavior.
“I’m ready,” Trevor said. “I want to go.”
Daniel picked up a paper plate and nodded. “Let me just make a to-go plate.”
“Please?” Trevor begged.
Daniel sighed and tossed his plate to the side. “I change my mind. This place sucks.”
People started to crowd around the table. They reached around the two men, grabbing spoons to scoop up macaroni salad, baked beans, and other dishes onto their plates. The crowd stared at the two men between scoops and whispered to their neighbor.
A little girl walked up to Trevor and tugged on his shirt. Trevor looked down at her. She waved him to get closer. Daniel looked at Trevor and shrugged. Trevor bent down to her level and smiled.
“My mommy says you’re a homo.” The little girl held onto Trevor’s collar to prevent him from straightening up. “And that you shouldn’t be here.” She spoke in a whispered tone.
Trevor wrenched her hand off his collar and stormed off. Daniel followed.
“What happened?” Daniel asked.
Trevor quickened his pace. “I shouldn’t have come.”
“Trevor,” Grace shouted, running after the two men. Her umbrella swished side-to-side above her.
“We have to go.” Trevor turned to her. “It’s a long drive back home.” His eyes blinked with each raindrop striking his face.
“No.” She shook her head. “You’re home now. You can’t leave again.”
“I’m sorry.” Trevor shrugged and watched the casket disappear below the surface of the ground into its resting place.
“At least come get some food.” Grace motioned behind her. “Don’t you want to catch up with old friends?”
“Those people aren’t my friends,” Trevor said.
“Come to the house. Dad is going to stay behind with everyone, so it’ll just be the three of us. What do you say?”
“Sounds great. Is there food? I’m starving.” Daniel wrapped his arm around Trevor’s shoulder.
Grace brightened. “We can get pizza from our old hangout.” She nudged Trevor.
The three of them jumped into Trevor’s car and made the short trip to his childhood home after stopping to get slices. The older home rested on a large property bordered by a dense forest. Trevor and Grace had spent their early years hiking and playing within them. The outside of the house showed years of neglect, but the inside remained the same.
Unable to take that first step inside, Trevor stood in the doorway. Grace scooted around him and hurried to the bathroom down the hall. Daniel cradled his chin in the nook of Trevor’s neck and wrapped his arms around his waist.
“You can do it,” Daniel said.
Trevor felt Daniel knee him in the back of the thigh and forced him to move his leg forward. He didn’t resist and entered the home. Trevor paused and looked around. The stairs straight ahead led to the second floor where he knew there were three bedrooms. The hallway in front of him led to his parent’s bedroom and the only bathroom in the house. His hand began to tremble as he turned to look at the kitchen to the right and the living room to the left.
Trevor felt faint but resisted the urge to let go and drop to the floor.
Trevor walked down the hallway in front of him where pictures from his past hung, frowning at the sound of the old floors creaking. He examined each picture, tracing a finger along the edge of the frames. Trevor was surprised to see pictures of him. He figured they would have been destroyed after he left.
Trevor removed a picture from its hook. In the picture, he and Grace were children standing on either side of a squirrel in a trap. Each morning, they ran to check that trap for a rogue raccoon they were trying to stop from breaking into the house. Most mornings it was a squirrel or rabbit. Finally, one night their father discovered the poor beast trying to get into their trash. He ran inside to retrieve his shotgun. They didn’t have problems with raccoons after that.
He replaced the photo and grabbed another.
This one he remembered clearly. He and his sister had built a fort in the woods and checked it the morning after a nasty storm. The two children held hands and trekked through the muddy slop. Grace took a tumble and brought Trevor down with her. Fearing a lashing from getting their clothes dirty, the children ran back to the house. Their mother stood outside and—instead of yelling—she laughed. She didn’t stop laughing right away and Trevor and Grace joined in. A quick tickle fight ensued but ended when their father appeared. He raised his hand to strike Trevor. Their mother stopped him and demanded he get the camera. Grace sat in their mother’s lap and Trevor stood behind her, wrapping his arms around her neck. Covered in mud and gunk, the three took a beautiful picture.
Grace tapped him on his shoulder. “I want to show you something.”
Daniel smiled at the siblings. They needed this time together. “Can I take a stroll around the property? It’s not often I get to see grass.”
Grace nodded.
Trevor watched Daniel exit the house while he followed Grace. He had an idea where they were going but didn’t know why.
“I know she would want you to have this.” Grace opened their parent’s bedroom door and beckoned him inside.
He paused in the doorway. The room had the same peeling wallpaper and the furniture remained in the same position. An oval mirror hung over a dresser on the other side of the room. The large bed was next to the closed window. Only one thing had changed—next to the dresser, it was covered with a blanket.
“Come on.” Grace grabbed his arm and yanked him inside. She slammed the door closed behind them and felt Trevor jump at the sound. “You’re such a pain.” Grace laughed and pointed at the tall object in the corner covered by an old ratty blanket. “This is it.” She smiled.
“What is it?” Trevor folded his arms across his chest, wrapping his fingers around his biceps. He held himself tightly to stop the shaking.
Grace grabbed a corner of the blanket and waited a second before pulling it off and revealing a wooden statue. It was a grizzly bear.
Trevor felt a cold chill creeping up his spine.
“Do you remember this?” she asked.
I have never forgotten.
“I can’t believe you’ve forgotten. You and Dad made this for Mom.” She continued talking about the months it took Trevor to learn how to carve the wood and the amount of work their father had to do to fix his mistakes.
Trevor stared at the statue.
Her voice began to fade and Grace vanished from the room. The daylight disappeared and the moonlight entered from the open window, lighting up the wooden statue. The door opened and slammed shut. Trevor jumped and turned to face the young boy clutching a teddy bear.
It’s you.
The young boy held up the teddy bear. “She always said he would keep us safe. Why did she lie?”
Trevor took the teddy from the boy. “She didn’t know.”
“You’re lying.”
Bending down, Trevor returned the bear to the boy and recognized the pain in his eyes. The urge to comfort the boy overwhelmed Trevor. He reached forward to hug him. As their skin touched, a jolt of energy transferred between them and the room spun around. Trevor was no longer a grown man but the young boy.
The door to the room slammed again and Trevor felt a shove, sending him across the floor on his hands and knees. The teddy flew from his grip. The assailant ripped the boy’s clothes from his body. Trevor didn’t fight back—he couldn’t. A sharp pain sent his head back and his eyes fixated on the wooden statue in the corner.
You’re enjoying this, aren’t you? Trevor accused the grizzly bear as he felt a pair of hands g
rip his sides. He closed his eyes as the hands reached around to touch him in the place his teachers taught him was a naughty spot. The pain subsided and the boy’s used body dropped to the floor.
The assailant disappeared.
Trevor—the boy—cried. He was alone with the wooden statue that simply watched. I hate you. You did this to me. Trevor stared at the grizzly with hatred in his eyes.
The wooden grizzly struggled to tilt its head. It stretched out a paw and pieces of wood fell from the appendage. It twisted and bent, breaking free of its wooden prison.
The boy scrambled to his feet, ignoring the pain, and tried to escape out the window. It was nailed shut. The floor shook once. Trevor turned to see the grizzly taking its first step forward. Its movements were stiff. The boy jumped onto the bed and ran to the door. It, too, wouldn’t open.
There was no escape.
The boy rushed the grizzly. He bounced off the beast and crashed to the floor. The grizzly reached down and grabbed him by the top of his head. Trevor thrashed his legs as the grizzly lifted him into the air. His erratic kicks shattered the oval mirror on the wall. He wiggled out of the grizzly’s grip and landed on the glass shards, cutting his knee. The boy grabbed a shard and ignored the blood dripping from his palm. Plunging the shard deep into the grizzly’s chest, he stared at the blood pouring from the body. It fell onto its back. Trevor straddled the grizzly and stuck the grizzly over and over again with the shard.
“Trevor!”
Daniel’s voice broke through and the room began to spin again. Trevor closed his eyes to avoid getting sick. When the queasiness settled, he opened them and the darkness of the night had disappeared.
Daniel stared at him in horror. “What the fuck did you do?”
Trevor raised the bloody shard to his face and stared at it, turning it round. “What is this?” he whispered, staring at the blood dripping down his hands.
Daniel took a step forward and reached his hand out. “Give the glass to me.”
“What happened?” Trevor asked.
Daniel looked at the floor. “It’s okay. Just come towards me.”
Trevor took a single step and stumbled to the floor. His hands landed on the bloodied corpse of his sister surrounded by broken glass. No, it was the grizzly. Trevor shook. It was a… I didn’t…
“I didn’t do this.” Trevor stared at the wounds in her chest. “I didn’t do this.” He repeated. The shard fell from his hands and he vomited on his dearly departed sister.
Daniel grabbed Trevor by his shoulders and pulled him off the corpse. He cradled him and stared at the body covered in blood and vomit. Daniel had to fix this. He couldn’t lose Trevor to a murder charge.
Trevor sobbed.
“I’ll fix this.” Daniel pulled Trevor to his feet. “You need to take your clothes off.”
He stared at his sister. “I don’t want to have sex with Grace watching.”
Daniel shook Trevor. “Take them off and get clothes from the closet.” He rushed out of the bedroom.
The garbage bags were easy to find, but he almost missed the duct tape at the back of a drawer. He returned to the bedroom. Daniel stared down at the widening pool of blood forming around the corpse, unsure of how to proceed. Her eyes were open and staring at him. Don’t do this, Grace begged Daniel with those glassy eyes.
Trevor stood with his shirt unbuttoned. He pulled the garment closed around his chest. “I’m a dirty boy.” Tears and snot ran down his face.
Daniel dropped the duct tape and bags. He guided Trevor to the bed and opened the closet. Daniel grabbed the first shirt his hands touched—a blue plaid shirt—and bright yellow sweatpants folded above the handing clothes. “Put these on.” He tossed them next to Trevor.
Approaching the body, Daniel looked at the mess. Glass cracked under his boots. Splattered blood covered the walls and floor. How do I clean this?
The first step in the warm blood caused Daniel to groan. His foot slipped. He steadied himself. Daniel knelt down beside the corpse, closing his eyes and swallowing hard as he felt the sticky mess cling to his pants. He would have to change his clothes afterwards. Daniel had a strong stomach but the smell of vomit and shit—expelled from the body—was stronger. The first attempt to roll Grace on her side failed. He couldn’t touch her dead skin. He slid closer to her and shoved his arms under her back. Lifting her, his knees slipped and he fell forward into the lake of blood. He floundered. The blood smeared across his face and he could taste it.
Daniel sputtered to get the foulness out of his mouth. He jumped to his feet and raised his arms, examining his appearance. There was a small shard of glass sticking out of his calf. Daniel felt no pain and leaned down to remove it. He kicked the remaining glass shards away from the body. Moving carefully, Daniel grabbed a garbage bag and placed her feet inside. He stood over her body and pulled the bag up, trying to reach her waist. The bag stopped mid-thigh.
Trevor stood before him—naked. “Where’s my teddy?” he asked Daniel.
Sweat mixed with the blood on Daniel’s face. “Put the pants on. I need your help.”
“Did you hear that?” Trevor turned to the door. “He’s coming.”
“No one is coming. Get dressed!” Daniel pleaded with him.
“Listen.” Trevor held a hand to his ear.
Creak.
“He’s here.”
Daniel stood. His eyes darted from Trevor to the doorway.
John stood there in the doorway gaping at the sight. Daniel’s eyes widened and he darted forward, pushing Trevor aside. He tripped on the bagged feet of the corpse and tumbled to the ground. Daniel watched as John ran from the doorway.
Daniel scrambled to his feet and helped Trevor stand. “Get the clothes. You can escape through the window.”
Daniel left Trevor behind and entered the hallway. Everything was dark. He ran past the wall of memories and skidded to a halt at the front door. Where is he? His bloody shoe prints followed him as he searched the first floor of the house for the old man. Daniel stripped off his blazer and dropped it to the ground. He entered the kitchen and searched the drawers. He found a meat tenderizer and took it.
“John?”
With the mallet raised above his head, he left the kitchen and stood in front of the stairs. He looked for a light switch on the wall next to him.
Click.
Daniel glanced up the stairs at John. And at the shotgun John held. John pulled the trigger and Daniel dodged left, dropping the tenderizer. The bullet ripped into his right shoulder. He screamed. John bounded down the stairs as Daniel ran back to Trevor.
He entered the bedroom and slammed the door shut behind him. Trevor stood in the middle of the bloody mess with Grace standing beside him. He had his arms wrapped around her waist holding her upright.
“I had to tell her.” Trevor looked down. Her face flopped away from him. “I had to tell her why I left. It wasn’t her fault. It was his.”
“We don’t have time for this.” Daniel leaned against the door, breathing heavy. He cringed and grabbed his shoulder.
“I had to tell her about the grizzly bear.”
Daniel forced himself off the door and flung the dead sister from Trevor’s arms. “We have to go now!” He pushed him towards the window.
Trevor grabbed the injured shoulder and escaped his grip. “The grizzly enjoyed it as much as he did.” Trevor caressed Daniel’s face. “It enjoyed watching my father. It’s all in the basement.” Trevor kissed Daniel softly on the lips and walked to the door. “She deserved to know.”
Before Daniel could move, a loud blast burst through the door. Small wood splinters shot out from the door and Trevor flew backwards, landing near his sister. Daniel stared at the open wound in Trevor’s chest. Blood pumped out and Trevor raised his head, coughing. Daniel bent down and cradled his head.
A second blast from the shotgun ripped through the door.
Daniel ducked his head and stared at the baseball size hole in the door from the two
shots. The barrel of the shotgun threaded through this hole and pointed at Daniel. He glanced down at Trevor through clouded vision. His lover stared at him unmoving.
He released Trevor’s head and cringed as it struck the hard floor. “Sorry, honey.” Daniel spotted the window in the room and ran towards it. The shotgun went off a third time. He fumbled to open the window with his left arm and scrambled out.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
The town sheriff stood on the porch with John. “That was a beautiful service you had for your girl, Johnny. I’m sorry it took so long to release her body.”
John nodded.
“I stopped by to give this to you.” He held up the urn. “I know you don’t want it. This bastard deserves to rot in hell.”
John looked at the urn with Trevor’s ashes inside. “That boy was never right.”
The sheriff shook his head. “It was good he left when he did. We don’t need his kind in these parts.”
John took the urn. “I wish he never came back.”
“You can’t blame yourself.” He clapped John on the arm. “You raised him right but he turned out to be a pervert.”
“Did you find the faggot yet?”
“No signs of him. We’ve had the dogs out searching the past three weeks. We think the coyotes got him.” The sheriff used his hanky to wipe his brow. “The town supports you, Johnny. You did a real hard thing. Not many could take on two armed criminals and come out on alive.”
John bobbed his head up and down during the sheriff’s speech, taking in every lie. “I just wish I had been able to save my girl.”
“If you need anything, give me a call, ya hear?” The sheriff stepped off the front porch and into the patrol car.
John unlocked the door, stepped inside, and set the urn on a stand next to the door. He took a deep breath. He was alone. The quiet of the house echoed in his mind and he headed to the kitchen for a beer. Rubbing his face, he opened the fridge. He grabbed a cold beer from the six-pack and cracked the top. He took a long swig as he swung the refrigerator door closed.
He lowered his head and noticed a picture held up by a magnet. Leaning in to examine it closer, the beer bottle slipped from his hand and smashed on the floor. John snatched the picture and held it tightly with both hands. He hadn’t seen this picture for many years. It was stashed away from prying eyes.