by Lulu Pratt
“Should I throw this out or keep it?” Carrie asks.
I look up at her and see that she is holding a hideous canary yellow dress in her hand.
“Burn it. Then throw the ashes out, and then destroy the garbage can you threw it into.”
She laughs and tosses the dress into a large trashcan sitting in the middle of her apartment.
I’m at her place right now, helping her to pack her things. Once I suggested that she come live with me, I decided that would not be enough. If she is going to be living with me, she is going to need to make the house feel as much like home as possible. I have, therefore, also suggested that she move some of her things in as well.
“And this?” She asks, holding up a dress of a similar ilk.
“New rule,” I say. “If you have to ask, the answer is going to be a no.”
I didn’t want a wife. That was never the plan. I want a child. But lately Carrie has begun to transform before my eyes. Or perhaps she has been transforming me. Although I don’t see myself as marrying her anytime soon, I do see myself as being with her.
Once we have this baby, I would be surprised if I want her to leave. I can’t tell her this, though. For all I know, she has no desire to live with me once it is done. For all I know, it is still about the money for her.
“Do your chefs mind, by the way?” She asks suddenly.
My head is buried in a cabinet, and I pull it out, turning to look at her.
“What do you mean?”
“Well, that they are cooking for three now?” She rubs her belly.
I laugh. “I think they are okay with it. The third member doesn’t eat too much yet, anyway.”
“For now,” Carrie agrees. “But I already feel myself getting hungrier every day. I predict I’ll be twice this size soon.”
“And you’ll look just as beautiful as you do now,” I say and give her a warm smile as I do.
I feel myself falling for her more every day. And although I am not fully sure how she feels about me, I am almost certain that she is feeling close to what I am. I want to ask her. But as I open my mouth, each time, I balk and change the topic. I am content now to live in ignorant bliss. She is moving in with me, and right now, that is all that matters.
“So, how are you going to go about telling your friends?” She asks.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, it’s an odd conversation to have. Do you think they will care? They’ll think it’s odd, at the very least.”
“Honestly,” I say. I look into her eyes and make sure she is looking into mine. “I don’t care. Nothing they say or do will convince me this wasn’t the best decision I ever made.”
“We ever made,” she corrects.
“What about your friends?” I ask. “Same thing?”
“Yeah, same thing. I mean, Amy doesn’t care. She’s weird enough. And my few other friends, I could not care less about their opinions. Like you said, nothing they say will make a difference.”
And that is the truth, too. When I first started doing this, I was terrified of what friends would say. I was too scared to even leave Ben and Carrie alone for God’s sake. But now, it doesn’t bother me. When I see Ben, I will tell him outright what I am doing and why. If he doesn’t like it, so what? I like it. Carrie likes it. That is all that matters.
“And you’re sure you don’t mind?” She asks.
I look up from what I am doing. Carrie has stopped packing and is standing in the middle of the living room, looking at me. She looks worried. Her shoulders are slumped, and she is frowning at me.
“Worried about what?” I ask, confused by her sudden change in disposition.
“That I am moving in with you? I mean, I know it’s a big deal.”
“Hey,” I say. I’m in her kitchen, holding a handful of cutlery which I quickly put down. I walk straight to her, keeping my eyes fixed firmly on her. I reach her, and as I do, I take both her hands in mine. “You know how I feel about you moving in.”
“Do I?” She asks, still frowning.
“Yes. I could not be happier. Truly. You see this as imposing yourself on me. I see it as a way to keep you and our baby in my life and as close to me as possible. If you weren’t moving into my house, I would move into here. I have never been happier, okay?”
“Okay,” she says, that warm smile returning to her face. “Just checking.”
“I know you were.” I lean down and kiss her on the nose.
We finish packing. It takes another hour or so. She isn’t breaking the lease or anything like that. She just isn’t living in the apartment for a while. So, everything that she is bringing fits easily into a few boxes.
I scoop the boxes into my arms and lead the way through the front door and down to my car. I turn and watch as she closes the door behind her, locking it up. She won’t be coming back for a while.
I watch her make her way to me, now smiling permanently. I, again, have to pinch myself. I am having a child. I am having a baby with a beautiful woman who I can feel myself falling in love with. She is moving in with me, and I can’t, for the life of me, see how anything can go wrong. From here on out, it is all going to be smooth sailing.
Chapter 38
CARRIE
Blake helped me move earlier in the day, but he had to go to work after. I hate that he has to work so much. I don’t want to be selfish, but a part of me kind of wishes that he would quit his job so that he could stay with me all day. But I know that is unrealistic. He is, after all, a busy film producer. But even still, I miss him.
It’s only been a few hours since I last saw him, and I can’t stop looking at the clock, hoping that time has passed so that he will be closer to coming home. I’m at my laptop, and I should be working, but as I go to type, I stop, look at the clock, and sigh to myself.
The book is coming along pretty well now. Skimming through what I have written, I am surprised with how much is there and how good it is. I wish I could add to it, and usually, I would be able to, no problem, but today is different. Today, my mind is awash with thoughts of Blake.
I push myself from my laptop and walk to the kitchen. I’m getting a little hungry, and I hope that there are some snacks in the house. I’m sure that this early on, it’s just my imagination, but I feel like I can feel the baby inside of me. And I feel like he is hungry.
I’m in the habit now of referring to the baby as a boy. We both are. Not only will Blake make a great father if it is a boy, but he’ll be just as great with a daughter.
I walk through the house, taking note of how big and empty the place is. When Blake is here, it feels so welcoming and full of life. But when he is not here, it feels as it does now, cold and empty. In truth, I am bored and in need of a little company.
I smile as I suddenly realize what I can do to remedy this situation. I haven’t spoken to Amy in ages, and I quickly reach into my pocket and pull out my cell. I dial the number, feeling a little too excited at the prospect of talking to my best friend.
“What up, girl,” she says as she answers the phone. “Long time. I thought that maybe you had forgotten about me. Or maybe you had gotten a new best friend? That’s it, isn’t it? This is a breakup call!”
“How did you know?” I laugh as I fall onto the couch in the living room. The couch is as big as my bed back home, and I can literally lie and stretch out my entire body on it.
“Instinct. You’ve moved out of your apartment. You’re living with some playboy, for whatever reason that you won’t tell me. It only makes sense that you’ve gotten a new best Real Housewives of Beverly Hills friend. Who is she?”
“Her name is Sandra, and she likes to shop and complain about how bad a job the help is doing on her rose bushes.”
“She sounds like a treat,” Amy says scathingly. “Punch her for me, will you?”
I laugh at this. God, I miss Amy. The two of us could easily go on pretending that Sandra is a real person for hours and never miss a beat. The two of us can talk about al
most anything really, and as we do, I suddenly realize how much I actually miss her.
Despite how great my life is at the moment and despite how great everything is going, best friends are hard to come by and even harder to replace.
“I miss you,” I say seriously. “Too much.”
“I miss you, too. Ugh, listen to us. You’re only in Beverly Hills. I’m acting like you’re in New York or something.”
“May as well be,” I moan. “While I’m here, I’m never going to get to see you.”
“While you’re there. Are you going to tell me why that is, by the way? You’ve been very coy about it, and I know you. I know you’re not the type to move for some boy, no matter how big his dick and or bank account is.”
“I can’t tell you, at least not over the phone.” Despite what I tell Blake, I am dreading telling Amy about what I am doing. I know she won’t judge me, but it will still make for awkward conversation.
“So, invite me over. You promised me that you would, anyway. I want to see this mansion and this man, both.”
“I will,” I say. “As soon as Blake gets home, I’ll ask when a good time is.”
“Oh, you’re going to ask Blake?” She jokes, dropping her voice in an attempt to make it sound snobbish. “Mr. Blake needs to give you permission.”
“It’s not like that,” I laugh. “It’s just polite. It’s still his house, after all.”
“Yeah, yeah,” she agrees. “I just miss you.”
“I miss you, too.”
The two of us speak for several more hours. Honestly, we could talk all day and night. I have so much I want to tell her, and I have to make sure to keep a wrap on all the important stuff. The only reason that we do, eventually, stop is that I hear the car come down the driveway, announcing Blake’s return.
I quickly say goodbye to Amy, promise that she can come visit soon, and leap from the couch and run to the front door. As he walks in, I throw myself at him, wrapping my arms around him.
“Whoa, someone has missed me.” He smiles at me.
“Oh, no,” I say, and I quickly let go of him. “I thought you were the milkman.”
“He comes at two.”
“Ah, I’ll remember that,” I joke, and I lean up and kiss him on the cheek.
“Plans tonight?” He asks as I follow him through the house and into our bedroom. I watch as he unpacks his things from the day and changes his clothes. It’s nothing interesting, but for some reason, I am absorbed in every little movement.
“You,” I say simply.
“Sounds delightful,” he replies.
*
As always, the chefs have outdone themselves. I don’t even know what the food is, but I eat two whole servings. For the first time in as long as I remember, I don’t have room for dessert.
It’s as I finish and watch Blake slowly chew his food, that the housekeeper comes up behind me. I jump as I feel her hand on my shoulder.
“Oh my God,” I say as my breathing calms down. “You scared me, Christina.”
“Sorry, miss,” she says. “But Mr. Blake wants me to give you this.” She holds out a little dish and in it is a small pill.
“It’s a prenatal care vitamin,” Blake says. “I read in one of those books that they are meant to help with digestion and cramping. The book always said you should start right away, so I figured why not now?” He watches me with a smile as I take the pill from Christina.
“Thanks, Christina. That’s really thoughtful of you. Blake, seriously, you can’t stop impressing me, can you?”
“If I ever do, let me know, okay? That way, I can step it up a little.”
I shake my head at his boyish smile. I then pick up my glass of water and use it to help swallow the pill. Blake is taking this pregnancy even more seriously than me, it seems. It’s time I start doing it too.
Chapter 39
CARRIE
“How do you feel?” Blake asks. He looks at me, noting my shaking hands and sweaty brow.
“I’m fine,” I lie. I am fidgeting nervously, while trying me best to not look nervous. It isn’t working.
“It’s going to be okay. He is just going to run a few tests and talk you through what to expect. There’s really no need to be nervous.”
“I’m not nervous,” I snap. “Sorry,” I apologize. “Maybe I am just a little nervous.”
Blake and I are on the way to my first appointment. Like a dog being taken to the vet, Blake all but had to lure me into the car. And now that we are almost there, I feel my level of panic slowly increasing.
It’s not that I’m scared of doctors. I just don’t like strange people prodding and poking at me. Plus, I read that they are going to need to take some of my blood, and I hate needles.
“You really have nothing to worry about. We’ve both read the same books, and we both know what to expect. And as for the needle, it’s barely going to feel like a pin prick.”
“I hate pin pricks,” I mutter under my breath, but just loud enough so that Blake can hear. He smiles, reaches across the car and rubs my shoulder.
*
Doctor Johnson is just like every other doctor I have ever been to. He is overly friendly, to the point of it seeming fake. As I walk into his exam room, he smiles and makes a joke.
“One of the first questions I get asked is, ‘when will my baby move?’ And I always say, ‘with any luck, right after it finishes college.’”
I am too nervous to laugh. I can barely pay attention to what he’s saying. He doesn’t seem bothered by my reaction.
He tells me that there is nothing to worry about, and that before I know it, I will be out of here and already looking forward to my next appointment.
I don’t believe him.
“So how long were you two trying for?” He asks.
I’m sitting on the table, and he has just finished taking my blood pressure.
“One week,” I say.
“Really?” He asks, sounding shocked. “That’s pretty impressive. Some people work at it for months, years even. Very impressive.”
“What does that mean?” Blake asks. He stands by my side and holds my hand. I’m squeezing it a little harder than is necessary, but Blake doesn’t say anything. “Is our baby going to be healthier than others? Is it going to be like a super baby?”
I look at Blake to see if he is joking or not. Doctor Johnson throws back his head and laughs.
“No, nothing like that,” he says. “It doesn’t really mean anything. Maybe just that the two of you are compatible. But if I see the little guy or girl wearing a cape in there, I’ll let you know.”
I like the way that sounds. Not the super baby thing, but the possibility that Blake and I are compatible. It’s as if even destiny is telling us that we are meant to be together.
“Okay, so this is the final bit.” I don’t know when it happened, but Doctor Johnson suddenly has a giant needle in his hand. Maybe giant is an overstatement. It really isn’t that big, but to me, it may as well be a foot long.
“Ow!” Blake says as I squeeze his hand even harder.
“Oh, I’m sorry,” I say with scorn. “Did that hurt? How bad for you.”
Doctor Johnson chuckles. “There is really nothing to worry about. You will barely feel it. I promise.” He walks toward me, needle in hand and I seize up.
I turn my head over my shoulder, looking away as I feel the needle pierce my skin. It doesn’t hurt as much as I thought it was going to, but it still isn’t pleasant. Despite myself, I look down at my arm. As I do, I almost faint. The sight of blood being funneled from my arm makes my head spin.
I clutch onto Blake for support.
“Wow, are you all right?” He asks as he grabs me.
“I’m fine,” I say with relief as I feel the needle leaving my arm. “Just got a little lightheaded. I don’t know why they need to take so much in the first place. Or any, for that matter.”
“It’s so we can determine if everything is going to be fine with you and
the baby,” Doctor Johnson confirms as he puts down my blood sample. “We don’t want any surprises.”
“So that’s it?” I ask quickly, jumping down from the table. “We can go?”
“Not so fast.” Doctor Johnson chuckles again. “I need to make sure that the two of you are fully up to speed. Have you done any reading on what to expect? Morning sickness, cramps, weird cravings for odd food combinations? That kind of thing?”
“We are fully up to speed,” I say as my eyes fall on the door. I really want to get out. For some reason, I feel as if the doctor is stalling. As if he is enjoying my discomfort.
“Good. Then there is just the matter of the due date, and you are free to go.”
“Due date?” I ask. My ears perk up, and I turn to face the doctor, looking at him properly for the first time.
“That’s right. February fourteenth. St. Valentine’s Day. An auspicious date. With the speed at which you conceived and the due date, I might just have to admit that I’ve never seen such a compatible couple. Congratulations!”
I look across to Blake who is already looking down at me. We share a smile. For once, I couldn’t agree more with the doctor.
Chapter 40
BLAKE
“So, what do you think?” I ask as I look up at my construction. “I’m not just a pretty face.”
“I’m so impressed,” Carrie says. “If I wasn’t attracted to you before, now I certainly am.”
We are in my backyard, and I have just finished setting up a moon-bounce. I rented it online for the day, and although the company offered to set it up, I declined. I was in the mood to bust out my handyman skills.
“So, who is getting on first, you or me?” I ask playfully. I stalk her, and she takes a step back. She grabs her stomach and frowns at me.
“I don’t know if it’s good for the baby. I better not.”
“I guess I’ll save it for Tommy and Simon then. I haven’t checked with Ben, but I’m pretty sure that neither of them is pregnant.”