“Oh, no, that’s okay, I’ll be fine.” She said it hurriedly, automatically, the usual polite demurral. Then, as she thought about it, he saw her smile slip a little. “Anyway,” she added staunchly, “I’m prepared now. Forewarned is forearmed, right?”
His thought exactly. This time he didn’t give her the smile she wanted. Instead, frowning, he said, “Are you sure? I have a couple of appointments, but I can probably-”
“Oh, no-no, really.” It was firm, final. He heard it in her voice, saw it in the set of her mouth.
“Well, okay then. Be careful.” His hand was on the doorknob. He turned it and pulled. “Lock your door.”
Instead of a reply, he heard a soft, stifled sound, and turning, found that she’d crisscrossed her body with her arms and covered her mouth with one hand. Above it, the eyes that clung to his were suddenly troubled, frightened, confused. He’d never seen such tattletale eyes.
“Oh, I will” Her words came muffled through her fingers. “And I did. That’s just it. I know I locked my door when I went out. How on earth did he get in here?” She shivered.
Hawk tapped the small sign that was mounted on the door near the security bar. “Ma’am. I could tell you about six different ways. That’s why they tell you to put the bar on when you’re in here, and not to keep valuables in your room.”
“But what I don’t understand,” she persisted, her voice low and still shaken, “is how he knew this was my room. It’s not even registered in my name, and anyway, the hotel wouldn’t give out that information. How did he know?” It was hitting her now, he could see that-the sense of violation that every victim of violence experiences. It would probably take some time before she felt safe again.
The door was open now. Hawk held it while they both stood in silence, looking down at the arrangement of spring flowers on the floor.
“Looks like somebody’s sent you a present,” he said in a neutral voice.
She bent slowly and picked up the flowers. “It’s a mistake-it has to be,” she said in a frightened voice. “I don’t know anybody who’d send me flowers. The only ones who even know I’m here are my kids, and I can’t think why-” She broke off as he reached over and turned the little white card on its plastic stake so she could see “Jane Carlysle” plainly written there. Just the name, and nothing else. She whispered, “I don’t understand.”
“Don’t you?” Hawk’s mouth twisted as he touched a sprig of lilac with one finger. “This…is probably how he knew. It’s one of the tricks-call and order something to be delivered to a particular person, then watch and see which room it goes to.” He let the hand drop to his side.
She whispered, “My God.”
He felt grimy, uncomfortable in his own skin. Ashamed. Her stricken eyes clung to his, framed in daffodils and tulips. The smell of lilacs hung in the air between them, making his nose burn and his eyes ache. He hadn’t been prepared for this. Desperately, he hardened himself against the memories, the guilt, and her.
He said thickly, “Well, now you know,” and turned.
He’d taken only a few steps when she called to him. “Mr. Hawkins…”
She’d never know what it cost him to pause and look back, when he knew she’d be standing where he’d left her, with her arms full of those damn flowers.
“Mr. Hawkins,” she asked, her voice steady, her face pale but resolute, “are you with the police?”
For some reason, the question didn’t surprise him. Nor did the fact that she’d said police, not cops. A nice woman… He wondered later if that was why he didn’t simply lie to her.
Instead, he muttered, “Not in this jurisdiction,” and walked away, this time without looking back.
After Tom Hawkins had gone, Jane closed and locked her door and barricaded it with the security bar. Then, for a time. she just stood with the flowers in her arms, struggling to think, to make decisions, to regain some measure of control. Control of herself, her life and her circumstances.
Recent events had shaken her more than she wanted to admit to herself, and certainly more than she’d ever admit to a stranger, especially one as attractive as that enigmatic Mr. Hawkins. After all, she was a full-grown woman-a middle-aged woman, if she was completely honest with herself-and ought to be accustomed by now to dealing with life’s unpleasant little surprises.
Okay, so she’d never been the victim of a violent crime before. These things happened all over the world, to millions of people, every single day.
Grow up, Jane. Join the club. And pull yourself together. You’re always complaining that nothing exciting ever happens to you.
A perfect example, she thought, of “Be careful what you wish for!”
So, okay, first of all, what to do with the flowers? It wasn’t in her nature to blame them for the fact that they’d been used for evil intent. And they were so beautifut-some of her favorites, in fact. She’d always particularly loved lilacs.
Closing her eyes, she dipped her face into the center of the bouquet and inhaled that sweet, familiar scent; she felt the cool touch on her cheeks and eyelids, light as a kitten’s kisses, and felt the tremors of emotions she couldn’t name. Which was something that had been happening to her quite a lot today, for some reason.
But those longings that had come over her at the auction had been vague and restless, a strange, sweet ache for something she’d never known and probably never would know. This was much more specific, and if she didn’t know what it was she was feeling, at least she knew why. Because standing there with her eyes closed and the smell of spring in the air, all she could see was the tall form of Tom Hawkins, walking away from her down that long hallway without looking back. Walking away…and out of her life forever.
Oh, but she couldn’t give in to emotions of any kind right now. And she would not. She even had a formula-how did it go? Oh, yes, she remembered it well. Swallow hard a few times…concentrate on breathing deeply until the weakness passes… Then, do something. Find a job, a purpose.
So, as if it were the most important job in the world, she carried the flowers into the bathroom and gave them a drink of water, then dried the florist’s vase carefully so it wouldn’t leave a ring on the furniture and placed it on the dresser, arranging it nicely in front of the mirror. The fragrance of the lilacs seemed to fill the room.
I should eat something, she thought. From experience, she knew she’d feel better if she did. But, oh dear, how could she leave her room unguarded? What if he was out there somewhere, watching, waiting for her to do just that?
This time the wave of emotion was easier to identify. What it was, was pure panic. Suddenly she could feel it all over again-the sensation of falling, of utter helplessness, the weight on her back squeezing the breath out of her lungs. She felt warm fingers on her neck, the awful, terrifying pressure, the pounding, the gentle darkness…
Trembling, she sank onto the bed, groped for the phone and clumsily punched the Operator button. For a moment, hearing the unexpected words, “Front desk,” her mind went blank. Then her own voice responded calmly, “Room service, please.” The very normalcy of her request helped to quiet her panic, although it continued to roll and chum through her insides.
After the girl at the front desk had cheerfully connected her with room service, she ordered the only thing she could think of at that moment, even though she wasn’t particularly fond of hamburgers, and absolutely never ate French fries.
Music, she thought desperately as she cradled the phone, reaching for the TV remote. That’s what I need. Please, God, let there be something on PBS.
But PBS was showing a nature film, and the idea of watching Serengeti lions tear into a zebra wasn’t at all appealing to her right then. Neither were the talk shows, police dramas, old movies, sitcoms and infomercials offered by the other channels. The best she could find was the cable channel directory, which was playing classical music as background-Vivaldi, she thought. Or maybe it was Mozart. She turned up the volume as far as she dared, then sat rest
lessly fiddling with the remote control as her eyes darted around the room in search of further distraction.
She thought about the paperback romance novel she’d bought to read that evening, the map of Washington she’d meant to study, the sight-seeing plans she’d intended to make. But she didn’t feel like reading, or planning. She couldn’t think. Her mind was a jumble of fragmented thoughts and impressions. She felt exhausted and wired at the same time.
What she wanted was simply to talk to someone.
She thought about calling the girls. She knew she should-they’d be expecting to hear from her, since she always checked in with them when she had to be away overnight. But of course she didn’t dare tell them about this. It would only alarm and upset them. And besides, she was the mom, she was supposed to be the strong one, the steadfast, sensible one; her children were supposed to come to her for comfort and strength, not the other way around. And if she called them and tried to act as though nothing was wrong, they’d know. They’d hear it in her voice; she’d never been any good at hiding her feelings.
She supposed she should report the incident to hotel security or the police. Doing so would certainly give her an opportunity to talk, but she had an idea it would, in the long run, bring her more headaches than solace.
What she really needed, she thought, was a friend. Just a friend, with a sympathetic ear and a strong shoulder. Like Connie, who was more than likely halfway home to Cooper’s Mill by now, or blissfully asleep in some roadside motel. She thought of David, who had never listened or given her much support or solace, even when they were married. She thought of a stranger named Hawkins who had sat beside her, almost but not quite touching, just in case she needed him.
For the first time since the terrifying days leading to and then following her decision to divorce David, loneliness seemed overwhelming. It came suddenly, like a bad cramp. Doubled over with the pain of it, arms across her belly, she rocked herself back and forth, entombed in the darkness of her own desolation. She kept saying to herself, Dammit, dammit, I thought I was done with this. I thought I was stronger. I thought I’d taught myself not to need.
And so she had, until tonight, when a stranger’s touch had awakened her to her own reality, like a bright light turned on in a room where she’d grown accustomed to darkness. Once before such a thing had happened to her, and her life had been forever changed.
A knock on the door and a muffled, “Room service,” jolted her badly. Trembling, she went to eye the hotel waiter’s starched white coat through the peephole. She instructed him to leave the tray outside the door, and only after he’d gone and she’d verified that the hallway was completely deserted did she unlatch the safety bar and open the door long enough to snatch the tray and carry it inside.
She wolfed down the hamburger without tasting it, left the French fries untouched, then prepared for bed, taking meticulous care to floss and brush and cleanse as she always did; she’d always found routine reassuring. After that, she put on the peach-colored silk pajamas she only wore on those rare occasions when she slept away from home and crawled between the starched and tucked hotel sheets. With the pillows from both beds stacked high behind her shoulders and the light burning brightly over the nightstand, she channel-surfed until her eyes burned and her head ached. Then, at least, she could welcome the darkness with relief rather than dread. But she didn’t find solace in it, nor sleep, either.
Sometime in the dead of night, it came to her and she threw back the covers and sat up, clutching the edge of the bed. Clammy. Trembling. And one thought in her mind: wet wool.
That was what was wrong. She’d smelled it. She’d felt it. His coat had been wet. And yet he’d told her he’d been on his way out. Hadn’t he? Yes, she was sure he’d said so. On his way out to get something to eat, that was it. Tom Hawkins had lied to her. Why?
His story about “happening along” at just the right moment-had that been a lie, too? And if he hadn’t just “happened” to be there, it followed that he must have been there for a purpose. Was the purpose something to do with her, or her attacker?
It has to be something to do with the painting, she thought. It has to be.
Slowly, she turned to look at it, propped against the head of the other bed, the graceful figures only faint pale shapes in the almost darkness. He was there at the auction, she thought, forcing her plodding thoughts along dim and scary paths. He’d seemed so nice, so helpful. And tonight, he’d just happened to be here, out of all the hotels in the city, in time to save her painting, if not actually her life. Such an amazing coincidence.
She got up, padded barefoot around the foot of her bed and made her way to the other one, where she shoved the discarded wrappings aside and sat facing the painting with one leg drawn up on the unrumpled spread.
She thought about the man Campbell-he’d wanted the painting badly. So did the man in her room tonight.
And what about Tom Hawkins? He’d been there at the auction, where Campbell was. And he’d been here tonight, where Campbell-or whoever-was. Was it Campbell he wanted, or the painting? Was he a cop, or wasn’t he?
Not in this jurisdiction. What an odd answer that was, now that she thought about it. What kind of law enforcement officer would be tracking a man-or a painting-out of his jurisdiction? If the damn thing was stolen, why didn’t he just say so? And most of all, why would he lie about so simple a thing as whether he’d been coming or going?
She knew there wasn’t any use going back to bed, not then. She sat in the armchair, curled up and wrapped in the bedspread, gazing out the window at the floodlit Washington Monument until her eyes ached and the vision blurred.
Tomorrow, she vowed. Tomorrow I’m going to find out about that painting, once and for all.
She had a feeling she hadn’t seen the last of Tom Hawkins, either. Whoever he was.
Chapter 5
“Emma? Sorry to call so late…”
“Tom? Oh, my goodness. Tom, is it really you?”
With the phone pressed painfully against his ear, Hawk listened to the compassionate, gentle voice he hadn’t heard in so long and remembered so well. Jen’s voice. “It’s me, Emma. I hope I didn’t wake you.” The voice hadn’t sounded at all sleepy, but then that was Emma.
“Oh, Tom, what a lovely surprise! No-no, as a matter of fact, I was waiting up for Frank. He’s grading papers-spring break starts next week. He should be home any time. Oh, he’ll just hate that he missed you. Where are you? Are you in town?”
“I’m in town, but-”
“Oh, how wonderful. Can you come for a visit? We’d both love to see you.”
“I wish I could, but it’s business, and I’m pretty tied up. I just called…” He paused to take a breath, both because the ache in his chest needed easing, and because the fact was, he didn’t know why he’d called, “…to say hello.”
“We’ve missed you, Tom.” The voice had grown softer. The sadness in it leaked from the receiver and into his soul. “It’s been so long. Seven years…”
“It was yesterday!” He regretted, but was unable to blunt, the harshness in his tone.
There was a pause, and then, “I wish you’d come home. Tom. I think…perhaps you need to.”
“Emma…” His voice cracked. “I can’t.”
“Jennifer wouldn’t have wanted this for you. You know she wouldn’t. It’s time, Tom.” There was a pause and then a whispered, “Time to say goodbye.” And he knew she was crying.
“Soon,” he growled, his voice guttural with pain. “I’ll come for a visit. I promise. Listen, say hello to Frank for me, will you?”
“Of course I will. Oh, Tom, I’m so glad you called. I just wish-”
“Good night, Emma.”
“Tom? Be good to yourself…”
He gave her the chuckle she wanted and hung up. Groped for his cigarettes, lit one and pulled the smoke past the band of pain around his chest, held it until he felt the slightest easing, then exhaled on a long sigh. He sat quietly smokin
g, staring out at the city lights-Arlington, not Washington; his fifth-floor room was on the opposite side of the hotel, the best he’d been able to do at the last minute-and let memory carry him back to a long-ago summer afternoon…
Voices and laughter, whoops and splashes, the smell of charred meat drifting up to his bedroom window from the yard that backed up against his. A slender, dark-haired woman waving to him, calling to him: “Hi, we’re your new neighbors-the Hostetlers. That’s our daughter, Jennifer, there in the pool. Would you like to come over for a swim? Jenny would love some company…”
Even now the memory could make him smile, remembering the way his thirteen-year-old hormones had stirred at the sight of that dark head emerging from the water, sleek as an otter…the perfect, sunburned oval she’d turned to him, with a look of utter disdain…the way she’d pranced the length of the diving board, so proud of her budding body, to execute the most glorious cannonball he’d ever seen. Love at first sight, that’s what it had been.
Time to say goodbye…
Hawk shook his head, a small, silent rejection, drew on his cigarette one last time and stubbed it out. Emma was right, he knew that. Seven years was long enough. But try telling that to his heart. His heart seemed to have its own timetable, and about all he could do was wait for it to reach the same conclusion. He’d know the moment it happened, he was sure of that. He’d feel it.
And until then… He stood and stretched, then pulled off his shoes and lay down on top of the bedspread, flat on his back with his hands laced across his midsection. Until then, he had a job to do, and days to get through, one at a time. Tomorrow was a new day, and it was shaping up to be an interesting one, at that.
He’d pretty much accepted that his mission now had two objectives. The first-and still the most critical, of course-was to recover that painting and the vital piece of information Jarek Singh had hidden inside it. The second and probably the more difficult task was to protect Jane Carlysle.
Never Trust A Lady Page 7