"No!" She looked at him in horror, not believing her ears.
"Yes," he said forcefully. "It's our dirty little secret. Every time we go over the moon, the temptation is there not to come back. Running free as a wolf is exciting, exhilarating. The speed, the feel of your body, every sight and smell is intoxicating. There are no rules, no boundaries. Some, a very few, choose to answer that Call. They'll take a trip to Yellowstone or the northern wilds of Canada and they won't come back. Sad, but accepted." Charles looked at her sadly.
"Some don't plan it. They're just not strong enough to withstand it and those are the ones who pose a threat to the safety of the pack, because they will likely draw the attention of humans."
"These are children. They can be taught." She refused to believe otherwise.
"There are instances of human children being raised wild and no matter how well they're treated, how diligently they're trained, there are certain things they never learn or understand. They're probably the closest to what their caveman ancestors were like. They run on instinct and cunning and their communication skills are basic. They don't ever fit into society. They can't.
"Now flip the coin. Think about what a wolver child raised wild will be. Like humans, it's very rare. Unlike humans, there's nothing written, only stories passed down. Feral wolvers are a nightmare come true. They are the stuff of human legend."
Kat let go of his hand and turned away, so upset by what he was hinting that for a moment she couldn't speak. Charles let her go and said nothing more.
"So what are you saying?" she finally asked. "Do you just take them out behind the barn and shoot them. Eliminate the problem?"
"No. I'm not saying that. I'm saying you need to be aware of the problem. River is the most functional, but he's been raised rogue and he's almost ready to go over the moon. He may never fit in for other reasons."
"He's a boy, a fifteen year old boy!" she cried, unable to understand how Charles could pass judgment on so young a child.
"No," Charles said firmly, "That's a human misconception. He's a man or on the verge of becoming one and you need to see him for what he is, not what you want him to be."
"And the others. Are you so ready to write them off, too?"
"I'm not writing anyone off," he said, losing patience. "I'm trying to say that I just don't know. There's something wrong with the girl, Forest. I can feel it, but I don't know what it is. The two boys are almost feral. The little one, as far as anyone can tell, has no speech. I've talked to my brother and he has the same doubts. They're one step away from animals, Katarina, and I don't know if they can be brought back."
"Well I know," she said. "You'll see. They'll come around."
It was their first, but not their last argument over the children.
* * *
Eleven wolvers were on the hunt. An unhappy Rawley and Tanner were left behind to guard the house along with Buddy who was once again allowed to go over the moon and patrol the grounds. He'd proven himself capable as Charles had known he would.
They left a little after ten o'clock and would not return before midnight. Busy settling the children into their beds, Kat did not watch them go. Still angry, she didn't want to watch them go although she'd lifted her lips dutifully when Charles came to say goodbye.
Kat and Charles had barely spoken to each other for the rest of the afternoon and evening and Kat felt their emotional distance more deeply now that there was bodily distance as well. She felt him moving away from her, putting miles between them, and it made her miserable.
Now, she realized her mistake. He wasn't going out for a jog. He was going out to fight. He could be injured or worse.
"Don't let the sun go down on your anger," Grams used to tell her. "Not with those you love. Anger festers and grows in the dark and that makes it harder to be rid of in the morning."
Kat had not only let the sun set, she'd rebuffed his overtures for peace and she was ashamed.
She'd taken what Charles said as a personal attack on her abilities and each time one of the children acted out during the afternoon and evening, she was sure he saw it as her inability to cope.
Now, having had time to sit and think, she realized that wasn't true. The children didn't defy her personally. When they cooperated it was because they were doing what they wanted to do anyway and not because they'd been asked or told to do it. Otherwise, they defied or ignored everyone and did as they pleased, although Tilda Martin seemed to have more influence than anyone else.
"What are you smiling about," Jo asked.
After a near brawl over bedtime, the four younger children were finally tucked in and River was ensconced in a chair in the boy's room from which he refused to budge. Jo had poured two glasses of wine and led Kat out to the patio where she pulled an outdoor heater close a table and offered Kat a seat. Until Jo spoke, they'd sat in silence enjoying the peace.
"Tilda," Kat told her. She didn't want to discuss her other problem just yet. "I was thinking about what you said about women being alphas. Charles says she would have been the Alpha if she'd been a man. She has a way with the kids. They listen to her."
"At least they listen to someone," Jo laughed.
Her resolution not to discuss the problem faded as quickly as it was made. "What if they won't listen to us? What if they won't conform? What if the feral side is too ingrained?" she whispered. She told Jo what Charles had said. "What do you think?"
"Shit. Poor Charles is what I think."
It wasn't what Kat expected. "Poor Charles! More like poor children."
"Yeah, well, it depends on how you look at it, doesn't it?" Jo said after a sip of wine. She looked out over the yard and fields to the woods beyond. There was a look of longing on her face. "If the cubs are too feral to readjust, they'd be happier living in the wild, don't you think? It's better than going rogue if you ask me. They'd belong to nature. They'd have a place in the grand scheme of things, you know? A rogue has no place at all. They can't get along in the human world and they don't fit into a pack. If they're Outcasts and have their families with them, they can form a familial pack, but it's temporary and lonely."
It was a different way of looking at it, but Kat couldn't get past the thought that these were children. "But why poor Charles?"
"Because the decision will be his and his alone. It's the Alpha who offers a young adult a place within the pack. The safety and wellbeing of the pack comes first and if he thinks they'll be a threat, he'll refuse them entry and then it will be up to him to decide their fate. I've never seen it happen, but I've been told an Alpha can make the beast permanent and after a while you forget what it was like to walk upright. I wouldn't want that decision on my plate."
"I hadn't realized," Kat said thoughtfully.
"Yeah, being the Alpha is a lot more than being ubermale. Sometimes, when the Alpha of a pack is really provoked, they'll say something like, 'You breathe by my will alone.' or "You live by my will alone." That's not an empty threat. They may appoint councilors or have those they can ask for advice, but that's a courtesy. They don't have to. By Pack Law, the Alpha is the ultimate judge, jury and executioner."
Jo shook herself as if trying to shake off her thoughts. "I wouldn't worry about it yet. He's not going to send a kid off to the wild. There are some that would, but not Charles. He's not that cruel. So," she smiled her reassurance. "There's plenty of time before he has to make that kind of decision."
"He says River is almost ready to go over the moon," Kat whispered understanding now why Charles was so worried.
"Shit."
"My thought exactly. I don't know what to make of him. He comes across as a belligerent asshole who doesn't give a shit about anything, but there's something about that that doesn't sit right."
Kat poured herself a little more wine and offered the bottle to Jo. She should be tucked up in bed since she suspected the children would be up early, but she knew she wouldn't sleep. She was too worried about the children's fate and Charles. Oh god, how s
he wished him to come home.
"Tilda thinks he's so thin because he's starving, but that doesn't make sense. The others aren't plump, but they don't look unfed. Except for Forest. She's way too thin and she eats like a bird, but she eats."
In the kitchen, Kat had noticed River repeatedly wiping the saliva from the corner of his mouth. She thought it might be a sign of his nervousness since he seemed to show no others. Tilda's observation made her think of it differently.
"Have you noticed how he doesn't eat until the others have been fed?" she asked Jo. "It didn't matter how much food was out there. I thought his refusal was just being obnoxious. What if he's starving because he lets them eat their fill first?"
"Rawley said River has scars. Bad ones. He didn't look too closely because he didn't want to aggravate River who, Rawley says, enjoyed the shower though he wasn't about to admit it. Rawley also said there weren't any outward signs of physical abuse on the younger boys." Jo shrugged. "I didn't see any on Meadow and believe me, after the number of times she wet herself today, I am intimately acquainted with that child's body."
"Oh jeez, Jo. I'm sorry I left that to you. There was just so much else going on."
"Hey, no problem, though you might think about a box of those diaper thingys. You know, the ones that look like underpants? There's a one gallon bladder in a half pint kid. She does know how to use the toilet, just not very well."
"It's fear and I'm pretty sure it's only of Charles. Forest is afraid of all the men. She hangs her head when any of them are in the room. She shrinks down and lets her hair fall over face like if she can't see them, they can't see her I don't know if it's shyness or fear."
There was so much to teach them, so much they needed to know. The three Rs were no longer a priority, though she'd present them as if they were. Social skills had to take precedence. The children's lives depended on it.
After talking with Jo, Kat better understood Charles' responsibility and concern about the possibilities, but that didn't mean she found the alternatives acceptable. In spite of the altered circumstances of her living here and being with Charles, she'd been hired to do a job and she would see that it was done. She had people who were willing to help and she wasn't too proud to ask.
"How long will you be here?" she asked her friend and she smiled as it dawned on her that this was another first. She had friends. In all her life, she'd had few acquaintances and never a friend unless she counted Grams.
Even Brandon had not been a friend. They talked about his studies, his days in the hospital training, his interests, his needs. They didn't share. She honestly hoped that it was different between him and his new wife. In spite of what happened between them, she wished him happiness in his new life. If it hadn't been for Brandon's betrayal, she'd have never ended up here where she was a part of something magical, where it felt good to say she had friends.
"… moving part of the operation down here. Eventually he'd like to bring most of it here and leave a satellite office in the city. Like most of us, I can do my job from anywhere and with any luck, the real estate business is going to be booming around here. Maybe I'll leave Wolf's Head Enterprises."
"What?" In the midst of her reverie, Kat only half listened to the answer to her own question. "I'm sorry. My mind wandered off track for a moment."
Jo laughed. "It's not like you don't have a few things on your mind. I said I've been thinking about leaving Wolf's Head Enterprises and going off on my own."
"No! You can't! Not when I just found you."
"Sorry kid, but I've got my eyes on someone else and I don't think Charles is into threesomes."
Kat sputtered a laugh. "He better not be. I wasn't listening because I was thinking about how nice it is to have a friend. You. I've never had one before."
Jo looked at Kat curiously. "Damn, Kat, no family, no friends. How in the hell did you survive? I couldn't stand being alone, though I have to warn you, being in a pack means everybody's business is everybody's business. It can be annoying sometimes."
"I can live with that."
Kat could live with a lot of things, but not with losing these children or Charles.
She froze at the muted sound of gunfire in the distance and looked for reassurance from Jo. She found none.
Chapter 27
They waited for what seemed like hours. Rawley and Tanner altered the course of their patrols, Rawley as wolf, Tanner as human. Buddy continued on as scheduled, a blatant guard that could be timed and watched by prying eyes.
An explosion ripped the dark fabric of the sky overheard, a fire ball soaring upward and ballooning out in red and yellow. It was several miles away and yet the windows of Hell Hall rattled with the waves of air and sound that rolled over the trees and across the fields.
Tilda came running, her hair dotted once more with the pink spongy bumps of her rollers. Becky, who'd gone to bed earlier and Rhonda, who'd apparently chosen Tanner over her friend Stephanie and stayed behind, came running downstairs.
"What's happening?"
"Don't know," Jo didn't take her eyes from the sky above the trees. "But I hope it's their problem and not ours."
"Rawley only said they were going out for a run."
"I guess they got sidetracked."
"Maybe it has nothing to do with them," Kat added, but no one thought that for a minute.
"Jeez, and to think I told Stephanie this place was dull as dust," Rhonda giggled and then frowned. "Do you think they're all right?"
"Yes, I think they are," Kat told her. There was a lightness in her head, a smile in her mind that wasn't hers. "Yes, they're definitely all right."
They all stood transfixed by the glow that slowly faded to a soft orange light in the sky and then the world came alive again when Kat shouted, "The kids!"
She raced through the house and up the stairs, first to the girl's room and opened the door. The beds were empty, the covers gone.
"Shit, shit, shit." Kat stamped her foot. Charles wanted the hallway watched and she had refused. She ran to the next door and threw it open.
River sat in the chair by the window with his hands lightly gripping the wooden claws at the end of the arms and his feet flat on the floor. He hadn't moved an inch from the time she'd put the boys to bed. He was watching the glow in the sky just as they had been. He turned slowly at her entrance as if he'd expected it.
The boys' beds were empty, too, and Kat opened her mouth to ask what the hell was going on when movement on the floor caught her eye. The four younger children were curled in a tangle of blankets sound asleep on the floor.
"They'll have to learn, you know, sometime, but not tonight," she whispered. She smiled to show she wasn't angry and shrugged. "I was afraid they'd be frightened by the explosion. I shouldn't have been. They're with you."
River's facial expression never changed, but his eyes changed slightly, giving away his surprise.
"You should get some sleep, too, honey. You've had a long day." Kat didn't wait for the response she knew wouldn't come. Softly, she closed the door on River and his sleeping charges.
Tanner was on the phone when she walked back into the kitchen.
"Ah, yes, this is Charles Goodman, over at…" He gave the address and a thumbs-up to Kat. "My guests and I were enjoying the night air and heard the explosion. I wouldn't be bothering you, but with the sirens and all, the ladies were a little frightened. Seems like there's a fire and well, you know how women are. They insisted I call to make sure we weren't in any danger. Yes, yes. Thank you very much, sir, and I surely do appreciate your taking the time. Yes, sir, I will. Bye, now."
He hung up the phone and grinned. "That's called establishing an alibi. The Alpha is on his way home."
Kat smiled and nodded her thanks, but she already knew. She could feel Charles coming closer and closer. The pressure in her chest eased at the same slow pace it had grown as he moved away. Charles' magic had planted the seeds of a connection between them and the vine was growing longer and stronger e
very day.
* * *
This homecoming was better than the last. They came across the fields, men alternating with wolves, walking abreast with their heads high and shoulders back. They stopped at the edge of the nearest field and because there were so few of them, the Alpha's bright light flashing each of them home was clear and distinct.
Beginning with their Alpha at the center, the golden glow surrounded each in turn, starting as a shimmering ball covering the wolf. It elongated as the man within straightened in a swirl of strange shapes and reached his full height. There was a final burst of brightness and man stood where once was wolf.
It was a marvelous display and Charles bowed to the round of applause.
Kat ran to him and threw her arms around his neck and kissed him while he whirled her in a broad circle and kissed her back.
"Show off," she laughed when the twirling stopped and the kiss broke. "I gather it went well."
Charles put her down and started walking toward the house with his arm around her shoulders. "Better than well. They had some kind of drug lab running in an old trailer on the property. The place stank to high heaven. Now it smells like ash. That was Hyatt's doing."
"Gas and a match. It was nothing." Hyatt, who was walking with his sister and Ryker, didn't look like it was nothing. He looked proud as a peacock.
A squeal of fright behind them had Kat's head snapping around, but the squeal had already turned into giggles as Rhonda took off for the woods with Tanner hot on her trail.
Ryker raised his fingers to his lips to whistle, but Charles stopped him.
"Let them have their fun." He bent down and gave Kat another quick kiss. "I'll save ours for the bedroom," he whispered and then a little more loudly, "How are the cubs. I see the house is still standing."
"They're fine," she answered and glanced up to the boy's window, sure they were being watched. "They're sleeping all curled together on the floor. I don't think they like beds."
The Alpha's Choice Page 20