A few times she considered getting up and walking around, but the sounds of unknown paws against stone kept her from even shifting to a more comfortable position. After waking from a nightmare where she killed both Whitehaze and Farlight, she spent rest of the night paralyzed in a perpetual state of fight, flight, or freeze. When the first hints of dawn trickled in through the windows, she was more exhausted than when she’d first lay down.
Hyrees shifted beside her. Her heart slowed and stopped thudding in her head. The cyans, greens and greys that had tormented her all night faded enough for her to focus. She sighed in relief, despite her still-trembling jaw.
‘Oh, please be awake, please be awake, please be awake. I can’t take much more of this. I don’t know what exactly will happen if I take much more, but it’s not going to be good. I need you. I need you. Please help.’
“Hyrees?” she whispered. “A-a-are you awake?”
“No. Don’t wanna go to work. Too tired,” he muttered.
Just hearing his voice made her jaw stop shaking. She forced herself to smile at his blissful, dazed ignorance. ‘I should let him enjoy it while it lasts.’
“You don’t have to. We-we have the day off,” she said.
He pressed his face more firmly against her side. “Really? Great. Wake me up tomorrow.”
“Okay.”
Ember lifted her head and looked around the house. With the blizzard still raging outside, the rising sun provided a lot less light. Shadows of cats moved around the room. Voices continued murmuring from every direction. She closed her eyes and tried to distinguish voices from each other to guesstimate how many cats were up, but they muddled together too often to make out any one individual.
‘Do these cats ever sleep? You can’t survive here much longer, Em. You gotta get out after the storm. But where do we go? Bracken’s group sounds good, but maybe too good. I don’t trust him. I don’t trust anyone here. Not even me. First we have to find Mom and Dad. But how? Maybe I could get Eclan to find them in exchange for something. Or I could try to get him to scout the colony to see if they’re still there. Hopefully they can make it out okay. Oh, I’m hungry.’
Hyrees’s stomach growled beside her, voicing her thoughts. Hyrees yawned. “Never mind. My stomach says I’m getting up. Good—”
He stared blankly at the corner. Ember watched helplessly as everything came back to him.
His neck went limp, and his chin flopped against her back. “It wasn’t a nightmare,” he whispered. His voice rose to a painful yowl. “It wasn’t a nightmare. He’s gone! I . . . I-I . . .”
Ember flattened her ears. “Hyrees, I know, but be quiet, please. We don’t need to tell everyone. They might hurt us.”
He stopped yowling and instead sobbed into her fur. Cats glared at them, eyes reflecting light and appearing to glow. One of the shadows walked closer. In the dim lighting, Ember could barely make out the cross-shaped marking her forehead.
“What’s the problem here, coggies?” Starcross asked.
Ember didn’t know how to reply, so she bit her tongue instead. Her heart started to race again. ‘Please just leave us alone. Go away, go away, go away.’
Starcross thrashed her tail. “Hey, can either of you speak? I asked you what’s wrong.”
Ember swallowed the bile building up in her throat. “We lost almost everything. Please leave us alone,” she whispered.
“I see. The cat who can make anyone she wishes powerful has been thrown out by some of the most power-hungry cats in the valley. Almost like one of your legends, huh?” She chuckled. “You see, out here, answers to questions like ‘why do birds fly’ or ‘why is the sky blue’ aren’t all that important or empowering. We accept that things are the way they are and learn to use reality to suit our will. Aside from freaks like Bracken, and whatever the rubble Eclan is, cats out here don’t trade for information. It’s a little too easy to lie for that to be the case—and of course, it also takes up brain space that could be better allocated for something actually useful.”
“What does that have to do with us losing everything? And why do you keep calling him a freak? Is he dangerous?” Ember asked. Her jaw began to tremble again.
“It has to do with you not seeming to get what life is like out here. And he is a freak. Ever notice how his tail is always twitching?” Starcross laughed again. “You haven’t met him yet, but trust me, he’s crazy. Not exactly ‘kill you and everyone you love’ kind of crazy, though. He’s no wildcat. Not even a rogue. If I had to use one word to describe him it would be ‘freak,’ not ‘dangerous.’ ‘Weird’ also comes to mind.”
“Perhaps my more dangerous side will show through if you keep meowing about me over my shoulder,” Bracken said. He walked over to them, head and tail held low. “Starcross, would you leave these two alone? They’ve been traumatized enough already.”
“Traumatized? Listen, Bracken, if your new friends want to survive, they have to learn to move on; to stop huddling up in the corner and crying. I don’t care how sheltered of a place they came from. They’ll become coyote meat if they can’t pick themselves up.”
Bracken’s tail continued to twitch as he flicked back an ear. “True, but maybe the transition could be a touch more gentle, don’t you think? They’re just kittens. They’ve been through a lot. And I’ve taken them on now, so showing them how to survive will be my problem. No need to worry yourself, miss. I’ll keep them safe and out of trouble.”
‘Taken us on? Teach us? But Mom and Dad will be with me—us—soon. I hope. I hope. I don’t need you to teach me. Does this mean you think I’ll never see them again? What if you’re right?’
Starcross stared at him for a few moments, then chuckled. “Sure you will.” She shook her head and walked away.
Bracken turned to them. “Snow is starting to clear up. You two should get ready to leave.”
“Leave?” Ember said. “Leave for where?”
“She only agreed to keep you until the storm ends. You’ll need somewhere to go to wait for your parents. I was thinking I could take you to the group.”
Her chest tightened. “Uhm . . . Where’s Eclan? I need to talk to him first.”
“Eclan? Why him? Is it because of your deal?”
Eclan trotted up behind him. “You called? Ready to pay up? How many questions do I get answers to? Probably shoulda asked that before.”
Ember bit her tongue and looked at her paws. “Uh, well, does five sound fair?”
“Make it ten,” he said.
She wrinkled her nose. Ten questions would give him everything he wanted, making offering more in exchange for his services useless. “Seven, maybe?”
“Eight.”
Ember sighed. “Fine. Eight. Want to ask them now?”
Eclan thought for a moment, then asked a series of five questions about the weather on specific days. Ember repeated them to Thai, who answered each one in turn.
“Okay, you have three more,” she said.
Eclan chuckled. “I know. I’m not using them now. Better to have someone owe you than to not. Never know when you might need a favor.”
She flattened back her ears. “Oh. Right. So, er, do you want me to owe you even more?”
He stepped closer. “’Pends on the catch, but I’m listening.”
“I’ll give you five more questions if you go the West after the blizzard stops altogether. I need you to see if my parents and sister make it out safely, and if they do, to lead them here.”
“Five? I don’t know about that. Not a lotta questions for something so—”
He stopped. Ember looked up as Bracken whispered something into Eclan’s ears.
Eclan smiled. “Alright, I’ll do it, and I’ll do it now. Be back by sunset tomorrow. Remember kitten, I got eight answers left for collecting.”
He turned and scampered out of the room without further explanation. Ember tilted her head as the indigos of confusion grovelled around her mind.
“What did you tell him?” she
asked.
Bracken chuffed gently, reminding her of the way Aspen used to chuckle when she asked him a question. The memory came encased in a halo of misty oranges and deep blues.
“Everyone has something they want the most,” he said. “Something they think will give them the most control. Being able to recognize what that thing is, then provide it, is true power. You can get anyone to do almost anything for the right price.” He sat down, fluffy tail wrapped over his paws. The tip of it continued twitching. “For example, I believe knowledge is what you want most, aside from being with your family. In your mind, that tag has indeed made you the most powerful cat in the valley, and in a way that few will recognize, it has. But power is only so when you know how to use it.”
‘Oh, tahg, he might be right. Does this mean he can control me? Can I control others?’ She shivered. “So, what does Eclan want most?”
“Isn’t it obvious? He wants security. He’ll do anything to ensure he’s protected and prepared. Didn’t you find it odd that all of his questions had to do with the weather at very specific points in time? Those are all days he’s agreed to perform a task on. And then there’s his desire to have you and others owe him. Another layer of security.”
“I guess that makes sense, but if he really does want security, why would he attack me for fun, or bribe that mint-breather into fights?”
Bracken chuckled. “He only picks fights he knows he can easily win, then when he does win, it boosts his confidence. It makes him feel invincible. Secure.”
“Oh.” Ember swallowed. Silver took over the indigo. “So how can you offer him protection?”
“I have my methods. Like I said: you can accomplish anything with the right amount of mind power.”
“And you want control, right?” She asked.
Bracken laughed, gentle and mellow. “I guess you could say that, but everyone does. It’s more a matter of what they think will give them that control. See, what I want the most is justice, which is a shame, because it’s hard to get. I want to see the right thing get done. I want to see cats being treated fairly by what they can do, not where they’re from, or how unusual they may seem. Justice and truth walk side by side, you know. Maybe we could work together, someday.” He sighed. “I have so many visions for how things could be. Ideas for the future that would make life better for everyone, the colonies included, but sometimes I don’t have the information I need. I’m just one old, weather-beaten tomcat, after all, and the valley is a big, harsh place not friendly to my ideals. But oh well. We can always imagine things will get better.”
“I guess.”
Hyrees lifted his head and sniffled a few times. “Sorry, Ember. I think I might have made your fur a little wet. I hope you don’t mind.”
“Mind? Wet fur is the least of my concerns right now,” she said. “Well, not exactly, but . . . never mind. It’s okay. I feel kind of sick.”
“I feel it too. Maybe it’s contagious. I think Lupine might have given it to us.”
Ember leaned away from him as an oily shimmer invaded her thoughts. “I feel sick because I didn’t get almost any sleep last night. Lupine didn’t give it to me. If anything, this place did.”
He grimaced. “It was a passive aggressive joke. You weren’t supposed to take it literally.”
She stood up and pressed her side against the wall. “It wasn’t funny, and Lupine isn’t here to be passively offended. Why would you joke right now to begin with? You were crying into my fur a few moments ago. It doesn’t make sense.”
“I don’t know.” He got to his paws, tail thrashing. “It felt like the right thing to say, so I said it, okay?”
Bracken stepped back. “I think I’ll leave you two alone.”
He turned and loped away. Ember tried to focus her attention on Hyrees—skin and bones, battered and broken, half blind, Hyrees.
‘What is even going on anymore? Are we fighting now? I can’t think. Can’t focus. Can’t do this.’
“Felt?” she asked. “Felt. It felt right. Killing Whitehaze felt like the right thing to do too, and look where that got me. I’m sorry; I can’t do this right now.”
Ember pushed past him. All the pent-up energy from that night came bursting out. She shoved her way through the two rooms. Cats growled and snapped at her, but she couldn’t make out any of what they said. Two cats blocked the doorway to outside, so she leaped over them. Her prosthetics whined and whirred in protest when she landed. Her shock absorbers hissed.
“Oi! What’s your problem, cat? Chargin’ around here like a stag. You got somewhere you need to be?” someone behind her snapped.
Ember curled back her lips, trying to ignore him as she closed her eyes and forced herself to control her breathing. The wind ruffled her fur, welcoming her back to the sweet-smelling forest. When she opened her eyes, she realized the snow had piled up a lot more than she’d imagined. It wasn’t the most intense blizzard she’d seen, but the storm had lasted a lot longer than most, and the resulting snow formed a leap-high wall wrapping all around the porch. Beyond the wall, a light snow fell, swaying with each tiny movement in the air. She looked around the gorge. The stone ledges towered over her, reaching a few leaps higher than the roof of the house. Snow-coated moss clung to the sides of the couloir, making her think of the cliffs and their seasonal confusion. The reminder of wummer made her chuff in bittersweet amusement.
She sat, sniffling, and exhaled slowly. ‘Everything is going to get better soon. Eclan will bring them here, and we can figure where to go from there. But the most important thing is that we’ll be doing it together. They’ll know what to do. They’ll know if we can trust Bracken and if we should join the group. Things will get better. Just stop panicking. Calm down. Maybe for now Michelle can help. She said she’d call me back, but she never did, so I guess I’ll just have to call her. Thai can you call Michelle?’
[Calling.]
The dial tone played in her head a few seconds, then cut off.
[Oh no, it seems the number you’re trying to reach is not available right now. You’ll have to try again later.]
Ember bit her tongue as a sinking dull red drifted through her mind. ‘Oh. Maybe she’s still busy. Unless I scared her off, in which case I don’t blame her. No one wants to be friends with a killer. I just hope she’s okay.’
[I hope so too, Ember.]
She sighed quietly. “Please just let this get better.”
“It will. I’ll make sure it does.”
She spun around to find Hyrees standing behind her. Ember got up and tucked her tail. “I’m sorry I yelled at you. I’m scared. Everything is so green and purple out here; I don’t know what to do. It’s all happening at once, and I’m not ready.”
He moved closer and leaned in to press his nose against hers. “No, it’s . . . it’s alright, I guess. Life’s unpredictable. I get it. Heh . . . one mooncycle everything is perfect, and the next, we’re exiled outsiders asking mint-breathing rogues for help. Who’d have thought? And look at me. Fat and blurry-eyed to scrawny and blind. Dad would hardly even recognize me, I bet. Hah, I bet I wouldn’t recognize me if I actually had eyes that worked. That would be nice, getting to see how pathetic I am.”
She licked her lips nervously. “I, uh, don’t see how you insulting yourself is supposed to help anything, but I’m glad you aren’t angry at me. You aren’t angry, right?”
Behind them, cats yowled and spat as a fight broke out. Ember and Hyrees peered inside but couldn’t make out what was happening. Starcross yelled for the battling cats to take it outside. They didn’t seem to hear.
“I’m not angry, but I will admit you can be confusing, and even frustrating, sometimes. I’m probably the same way, though, so who am I to complain?”
‘Confusing? Frustrating?’ She sighed. ‘I guess that makes sense. Everyone is confusing and frustrating sometimes—including you. What makes me any different?’
One of the fighting cats screeched. Hyrees flattened his ears.
“Hey, on the off chance they actually do come out here, do you want to walk around?” he asked. “Because I don’t really want to feel pain this early in the morning.”
Something about his tone of voice made her shiver, but she couldn’t place why. “Yeah, we can walk. Want to look around the house? Maybe we can get a better idea of how many rooms there are in it.”
“I don’t see how that’s important, but okay. Let’s go.”
Ember tilted her head and stared at him for a moment, trying to work out what exactly was going on in his head. She gave up, accepting the indigo, and climbed up the snow wall into the gentle flurry beyond it. The snow crumbled and melted beneath her paws. She sank down to her knees. The cold made her jump forward. She landed with snow pressed against her sides and stomach.
“Oh! Oh, it’s cold and I’m sinking. Uhm, Hyrees?” she said.
He trotted over to her, snow only coming halfway up his legs. “I guess you’re heavier than I am. I don’t know what to do to help. Sorry, Em.”
She snorted and climbed until it no longer touched her sensitive stomach. She needed to step high to even move her paws forward. The temperature sensors in her legs stung and burned. She turned the sensitivity down until the snow felt like a cool breeze.
As they made their way around the building, Ember examined walls and counted windows. The left side of the house was boring: a grey stone wall with a triangular top and only three windows. Moss and lichen patches gave it small touches of color and texture, but it was nothing extraordinary.
They went around the back. Ember stopped and narrowed her eyes. She tilted her head as fresh swirls of indigo appeared. In the middle of the structure, next to a doorway with a partial door, a white mark in the loose shape of a paw marred the wall. Lines, sharp and curved, formed claws poking out from each of the toes, and enclosed in the large pad of the print, an oval with a line through it completed the mark. Lines of white trailed down from the paw print, as though the paint used had been watery when it was applied.
Wildcat Page 38