by Freya Barker
I look down to see her studying my face. “Did you think it was a mistake?”
Fuck me. I don’t want to answer, knowing it might make things more difficult, but I won’t lie. I band my arms a little tighter around her. “I do in hindsight, but maybe not so much at the time.” I clearly feel her body freeze up as she drops her eyes to the floor. “Look at me, baby. I need you to look at me, so I know you understand.” Slowly her eyes find mine again. “I know now, what I felt for her all along was a deep friendship. For a while, I liked to imagine that it could be something else, but the reality is, I never pursued it. Probably, because on some level, I knew all along it wasn’t the way I was supposed to feel for a woman I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.”
“How do you know?” I can barely hear her voice when she asks.
“I know, because that woman is sitting in my lap, and I’m holding on with all my might so she can’t leave me. The one I can’t see myself living without for even one more day. The beautiful soul, who has taken a lifetime of avoiding commitment and obliterated it with one blink of her stunning eyes, into an overwhelming need to tie her to me permanently.”
I could cry in relief when her hand comes up to stroke my face. “You love me,” she says, as a statement more than a question. I cover her hand with mine and turn my head to press my lips into her palm.
“So much, at times it’s painful,” I confess to her honestly. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t want you hurt, but in keeping quiet, I hurt you so much more.”
She covers my mouth with her fingers. “Hush. It’s done,” she whispers, tucking her head underneath my chin.
We sit like that for I don’t know how long, just slowly existing in the moment, when the sharp peal of Ruby’s phone rings again. I help her up and she runs to reach it in time.
“Hello?” I hear her a little out of breath as I slowly get to my feet, taking in the mess around me.
“Nina, honey—Cómo estás?” Ruby sounds relieved and frankly so am I, until I hear her yell, “They did what??”
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
Ruby
“We’ll get it sorted. You’ve got to calm down.” Pam leans in from the backseat, with her hand on my shoulder.
Tim is driving like the hounds of hell are at his heels. I try not to pay too much attention or I’ll be hyperventilating even more. I’m furious. The moment I heard Nina’s terrified little voice over the phone, my instant relief was quickly replaced with anger. I relayed what she was telling me to a very concerned and, eventually, equally angry Tim. He finally just took the phone from my hand.
“Nina, sweetheart?—Yes, it’s Tim. Is Mike there with you?—Okay, honey. We’re coming. You hang tight, okay?—Good girl, now can you put Mike on?”
What followed next was a tremendous amount of swearing and threats, all from Tim’s side. In the end, I guess Mike managed to calm him down, because when he put down my phone, he lowered his head and took in a deep breath. “Get dressed, baby. Mike’s keeping her with him, and I’m calling Pam.”
We’re on our way to Boston after we had to wait for Mark to bring the truck, dropping him back off at his, and swinging by to pick Pam up. I didn’t realize she had connections to the CPS, but Tim wasn’t surprised.
I’m still seething after finding out the stupid, idiotic caseworker had placed Nina in a good, Catholic foster home, with three older teenage boys. Three! The excuse she made to Mike was apparently that she felt the influence of good Christian boys might help her get over her unreasonable fear of the other sex. Unreasonable! I’m beside myself. “I hope I never meet that woman,” I say to Pam over my shoulder. “I hate violence, but her I’d gladly take apart, piece by piece.”
“I hear you, honey,” Pam soothes. “But I’ll warn you. I don’t do jails, so you’re on your own there. I hear they make you take off your underwire bra. Damn, woman, they’d have to pry those off my cold, dead, girls. No way in hell are they’re allowed out without proper protection.”
I snort as Tim bursts out laughing at Pam’s well-timed injection of humor.
The rest of the ride to the FBI offices, I try to get my blood pressure back under control, while Pam makes a few phone calls in the back. Pulling into a parking spot in the underground garage, I see Rhonda walking up to the car with a large Denzel Washington lookalike, smiling from ear to ear when Pam gets out of the car behind me. I’m surprised to see her throw her arms around the man, accepting his kiss on her cheek readily. The only time I’ve ever seen her hug a man was Ike at their baby announcement party. Then my attention is drawn to Rhonda, who seems to be shuffling her feet, looking distinctly uncomfortable.
“Hey, Rhonda,” I say, slipping down from my seat and walking up to her. “So glad to see you up and about. I was worried about you.” I try to ignore the surprised look on her face when I stick out my hand. She hesitantly grabs it. “I never had a chance to thank you,” I mention to her quietly.
“I...thank you,” she stutters a little, appearing a little flustered before she straightens her shoulders.
“Good to see you,” Tim says with a friendly nod, throwing a casual arm over my shoulders, before turning his eyes on the other couple, no longer embracing but involved in a very impassioned discussion. “Who’s that?” he asks Rhonda, tilting his head in their direction.
“CPS supervisor. He showed up twenty minutes ago. Mentioned he was waiting for someone? That must be her.”
“I want to see Nina,” I announce, only slightly impatient.
“Sure,” Rhonda says. “She’s been asking for you.”
-
I’m not sure what I was expecting, but it wasn’t almost being tackled to the ground by the surprisingly long-limbed teenager, who I’d only seen in the hospital, when she was always lying down. Guess her little girl voice and pixie face made her seem so much shorter than she really is. Or maybe I was just projecting my own vertical challenge onto her. Tim manages to brace me from behind, so I don’t actually hit the floor. I’m grateful for his strength at my back, because right now, I just want to wrap this girl up and run.
“Tim?” She lifts her eyes over my shoulder and I step away, giving them some room. Should be interesting since they never even spoke, except for when Tim confiscated the phone from me this morning.
“Yes, sweetheart,” he says in his rumbly voice, which combined with the warm smile he directs at Nina is enough to melt me on the spot. She ignores his outstretched hand and puts her hands on his shoulders instead, giving his cheek a little kiss.
“Gracias...” she smiles shyly, “...for coming.”
When Pam and her acquaintance walk up with Mike, Nina sidles up to me, grabbing on to my arm.
“Why don’t we all sit down?” Mike suggests, ushering everyone into a large boardroom at the end of the hall. Nina sticks close to me, settling in to my right, and Tim claims the chair on my left. Everyone else seems to find a seat around the table except for Mike, who stays standing. “Nina, this gentleman here is Scott Paisley. He’s a supervisor with Child Protective Services.”
The stunning man’s introduction is met with a suspicious stare from Nina as she scoots a little closer to my side, but I have to bite my lip to stifle a giggle when I hear his name. Not quite what I expected for Denzel’s twin brother. I catch Pam’s eye, who raises her eyebrow at me, and I have to suppress another giggle. Instead of looking at anyone, I keep my eyes on the glass of water in front of me and continue listening to Mike.
“The lady next to him is Pam Brunard, she’s a friend of Ruby’s and a counselor. Now give me a minute to get everyone on the same page, and then we’ll sort this mess out,” Mike says with a nod and a smile at Nina, who seems to be listening closely. “Want to go first, Scott?” Mike nods in his direction.
“No need, you’re doing a good job,” he says in return, the broad smile never far from his face.
“Fine. Here’s where we stand. I called the caseworker’s supervisor, Scott, when I found they’d placed Nina in a
house full of hormonal teenage boys. Not only that, Nina wasn’t allowed to use the phone. Her own was confiscated. Turns out, the family may have created some of their own theories about why a fourteen-year-old Mexican girl might be in need of foster parenting. Let’s just say they were worried about bad influences. Sad, isn’t it? Anyway,” Mike continues as he shakes his head. “I brought her here with all her things, she didn’t want to stay there any longer. I just don’t know where to go from here. I have no real authority here.”
“But I do,” Scott pipes up. “I was surprised, when not ten minutes after hanging up with Mike, Pam called me. Long story short. If agreed on by Nina,” he directs at the girl again, making sure she has veto. “I’ll contact my counterpart in Portland and recommend she be placed in Pam’s care in the short term.”
Nina turns her face toward me and pulls at my arm. “I want to stay with you,” she pleads, breaking my heart.
“I want that too, cariño,” I comfort her. “But I’m not an American citizen yet. Pam looked after me when I had no one else, and she helped me so much. I know she can help you too.”
“Is it far from you?”
“Not at all. I go there all the time. And you can come visit me too.”
I feel Tim’s hand slide up my spine and gently squeeze my neck. I’m almost losing the battle with my tears. This morning has been an emotional meat grinder.
Tim
That little girl about floored me.
I was still simmering when we arrived in Boston, but the brave little thing completely wiped any lingering anger out when she stood on her tiptoes and kissed my cheek.
From that moment, my mind had been going a mile a minute. I have an idea, but given what happened earlier between Ruby and me, we have some stuff to sort out before I can even contemplate the ideas floating around in my head.
It takes less than ten minutes to sort out an acceptable solution for everyone and another fifteen for Scott to clear things with the Portland office. With some serious thanks-yous for Mike for stepping in like he did, and to Rhonda for keeping the girl calm until we got here, we start our drive back to Portland only an hour after we pulled in. Except this time, we have Nina in the back quietly talking with Pam, who is sitting next to her. Ruby has another death grip on my hand, but her eyes are looking straight out the window in front of her. I don’t think anyone else can see the occasional tear run down her face as she listens to the conversation in the backseat. I give her hand a little squeeze back. “You okay, Boop?” I whisper, just loud enough for her to catch and watch as she turns her shimmering brown eyes to me.
“I will be,” she replies almost soundlessly. I simply wink. There’s not much I can say right now.
When we pull up to Florence House, Nina has her face almost pressed up to the window. I smile at her barely contained excitement. Ruby, on the other hand, seems to look a bit more dejected, if possible. But the moment I give her hand a little squeeze again before releasing it, her face straightens into a forced smile. While Pam and Nina make moves to get out of the car, she quickly pulls down the visor to check her face.
“Come on, baby. Let’s get our girl set up.” It just kind of slips out, but Ruby’s head swivels my way so fast, I’m afraid she’ll give herself whiplash. I shrug and smile at her a bit sheepishly.
“Okay,” she agrees easily, this time with a genuine, full-wattage smile that I can’t resist pressing my lips to.
“Can’t wait until you get her home?” Pam sticks her head back in the door and Nina stands behind her, giggling. “Get your asses in the house,” she dictates, tossing the door shut with dramatic flourish.
-
It’s only two o’clock by the time we get back to Ruby’s apartment. Feels like we’ve been gone the whole day.
The moment we spot the splintered doorpost, both of us freeze on the spot. “I’ll fix that,” I promise Ruby, who looks at me with her head slightly tilted to one side, as if she’s trying to figure something out.
“You thought...you were worried...”
I quickly step up and close her in my arms. “Not gonna lie, Ruby. I didn’t give myself any time to think, or I might’ve realized I was overreacting, but the moment the thought even entered my head, I panicked. I’ll fix it.”
“Do you think we can go to your house now?” she asks, taking me completely by surprise.
“For real? Fuck yes, Boop. Let’s get you packed.”
By three, we’re back on the road. This time with most of Ruby’s stuff in the back. She didn’t have much to begin with since the place came furnished. “I’ll have to let Viv know. Give my notice. I hope she won’t be upset.”
“We’ll talk to her together. I don’t think she will be upset at all.”
“Okay.” She throws a hesitant smile my way. “Thank you, by the way, for calling Gunnar this morning. I wasn’t even thinking about my shift. I guess I could have made it after all.”
“We didn’t know,” I reassure her. “Besides, this is better. I think maybe we need tonight to get settled in.” She just nods at that, but I get the impression she understands I’m not just talking about her moving in. Something I still can’t quite get my head wrapped around after this morning’s revelations, but I’m not going to question it. “You okay with ordering pizza for dinner?”
“Sounds good.”
Just like that her smile is wide and bright again.
-
While Ruby putters about in the kitchen, adding her stuff to mine, I quickly make some room in the dresser and walk-in closet. Good thing I just have the basics in the kitchen, a set of four of everything, same apparently as she does. Between us we can host a party. I smile at the prospect, wishing spring was here so we can maybe have our friends over. I’ll have to buy a new grill. With my head going full steam ahead, I don’t hear Ruby come in.
“Wow,” she blurts, startling me. “Big closet for not very many clothes.”
“I know,” I confirm, as I move my flannels to the same side as my suits, just so she can have the entire wall to herself. “My clothes tend to last, and I mostly wore suits. I may need to get some more jeans and Henleys though. That enough room for you?” I ask her and watch as she dissolves into giggles. Now that is something I’ve not seen before, and I can’t hold back my own chuckles at her hilarity.
“I can’t even fill a quarter,” she snorts, as she watches me stalk toward her, slowly backing away.
I have her trapped with both my arms braced on either side of her head against her wall. There’s still a light-hearted twinkle in her eyes when I lean down and kiss her. “Maybe we should go shopping together,” I suggest, running my nose along hers.
“You like shopping?” she sounds surprised, and I shake my head vigorously.
“Fuck, no. I hate it, but with you I might learn to enjoy it. We could help each other try on stuff.” She collapses with her head on my chest, full out laughing now. Best fucking sound in the world. I just hold her shaking body against me, feeling pretty happy right now.
“You know.” She lifts her head, looking at me with a mischievous glint in her eyes, still snickering softly. “Your mother might have something to say about that.”
“She’s not coming,” I declare firmly, but she just snorts.
“I’d like to be a fly on the wall when you tell her she can’t come shopping.”
It’s an opportunity I can’t pass up, since Ruby hasn’t been back since that night. She’s only seen my mom once, when she dropped off some clothes for Boston, but she didn’t even really meet her eyes. And she’s not seen my dad at all. “Okay. Deal,” I say with a cocky smirk. “Sunday dinner, two days from now, you can watch.”
Her mouth falls open in disbelief. I once again see an opportunity I’m not gonna pass up. Pulling her against me with one arm around her back and the other in her hair, tilting her head just right, I launch an assault on her mouth. Her hands come up and clutch at my shirt as I walk her backwards, slowly moving her to the bed.
&
nbsp; When the back of her knees hit the mattress, her eyes snap open. I see both surprise and heat smoldering there. A little shove and she falls back on the bed. I drop down and pin her down, my hands pulling hers up and holding them over her head.
“You make me happy.” My voice is hoarse as I pepper her face with kisses. “I thought I was happy before, but I was wrong.” I drop my head down and latch onto the soft skin at the base of her neck. I feel her tilt her head to the side to give me better access. When I let her skin slip from the suction of my lips with a soft plop, I’m pleased to see a red mark appear where my mouth touched her. My mark. I lift my eyes to watch Ruby’s face change with understanding. “I will spend the rest of my life erasing every single mark, every single touch, every single gaze any other man has ever left on you, until all you can remember is me.” Her eyes are no longer smoldering, but brimming with unshed emotions.
“Mi vida...I love you,” she whispers, tangling her fingers in mine.
“I know,” I affirm to her, my eyes closing as my mouth settles on hers, tasting the salty tang of her feelings from her lips.
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
Ruby
The house is quiet when I find my way downstairs, carrying an empty pizza box.
We were tangled up in the sheets and each other all night. Except when Tim had to open the door for the pizza, which he brought straight back upstairs. We ate, sitting naked in bed, talking about anything and everything. Some of it interesting or funny, some of it painful, but according to Tim, all of it valuable.