She shook her head, trying to rid herself of the thoughts she had, the images taunting her. She made her way up the stairs, grateful that Joshua didn’t see her. Her shower did nothing to alleviate her hunger, did nothing to wash away the feel of Aidan or the rich, spicy taste of him. The hot water running down her skin, between the swell of her breasts, down her stomach, to her tight blond curls, only served to heighten her sensitivity. She had to fight the urge to call Aidan to her. She ached for him, needed him, her body all liquid heat and throbbing with desire. She had to call him to her to stop this aching. She needed to feel his mouth on her skin, his hands on her body. She needed him in her, an urgent, wild mating that would go on forever.
And then she remembered his words.
He could make her his slave
. He could make her do things she had never even pictured. Well, she was picturing them now. Where did the images come from? “Damn you, Aidan. Damn you for doing this to me.” She turned up her face to the spray and shut herself off from him. She heard the echo of his despairing cry, the roar of the wounded animal, the growl of the hunter who had missed his prey.
Without him in her mind to feed her own hunger, the terrible urgency lessened. It did not go away entirely, but real hunger crept in. She was pale and needed nourishment. She needed him. With an unladylike oath, she dressed in jeans and a ribbed top and headed for the sitting room next to her bedroom. It was to become her studio. She found that Marie or Stefan, obviously on Aidan’s orders, had already purchased supplies for her. They were top quality, things she had never been able to afford before. Ordinarily she would never accept such a lavish gift, but the artist in her thrilled to the beauty of the tools.
She heard Joshua before he came looking for her. Home from school, he was laughing with Stefan in the solarium, then chatting with Marie in the kitchen over cookies. Alexandria found herself happy and sad at the same time. Joshua needed the company, and the older couple displayed genuine affection for him, but she was sad that her relationship with her brother was changing, that he would no longer rely solely on her.
By the time he came rushing up the stairs, bellowing boisterously for her, she had regained her composure. Joshua flung himself into her arms, and she lifted him, spinning him around in circles until he shrieked happily with dizziness.
“Look at all this stuff!” she cried joyfully, showing off her treasures.
Joshua puffed out his chest. “I helped pick them out. Aidan and I went shopping. I showed him all the things you always picked up and put back. I could tell you wanted them, though. We had fun shopping for you. He said it was to be a big surprise.”
She clutched a box of charcoal pencils to her, all at once finding it hard to breathe. “He did, did he? When did you do this?”
Joshua grinned at her. “A few days ago. While you were so sick. He picked out some new clothes, too. Look in your bedroom closet. You should have seen the saleswoman. She was looking at him like—”
“I can imagine,” Alexandria broke in dryly. She followed a skipping Joshua back into her bedroom.
“He thought of everything. He said when a woman as beautiful and as good as you got so sick, a man should do whatever he could to make things better for you.” Joshua threw open the double closet doors she had never touched, using only the bureau for her jeans and tops.
In her entire life Alexandria had never owned enough clothes to fill a closet of this size, yet it was jammed with dresses, coats, skirts, slacks, and blouses. She bit her lower lip and touched a long black evening gown. It was by a top designer. She dropped her hand to her side. “Why did he do this?” she whispered aloud to Joshua, repeating in her head,
Why did you do this? It is only money,
cara.
I have nothing else to use to pay for my sins
. He sounded alone and lost, ragged.
She unexpectedly felt tears in her eyes. Everything in her wanted to run to him, comfort him, but his words from that morning continued to echo in her head, and she closed her mind firmly to his tricks. Become his slave. It would never happen.
“Ah, sis, don’t cry like a baby,” Joshua admonished. “Aidan did it ‘cuz he wanted to. You should see all the neat toys he bought me. You know, I asked Marie and Stefan about the puppy—how much work they thought it would be.”
“Persistent little devil, aren’t you?” She closed the closet doors firmly on the new clothes, determined never to wear them.
“Aidan says persistence pays,” Joshua quoted happily.
Alexandria took a deep breath. “He should know.” On second thought, she
was
going to wear those dresses. Every last one of them. Wear them when she worked with Thomas Ivan. When she went out with Thomas Ivan. When she fell completely and madly in love with Thomas Ivan.
For a moment she felt Aidan stirring in her mind, the kind of move a large jungle cat might make while stalking its prey—a mere ripple, and then it was gone, as if it had never been. Had she imagined it?
“Quit thinking about him!” she snapped at herself, angry that her mind would not stay away from him.
Joshua looked up at her, wide-eyed. “About who? The puppy? Why? Did you already find one? Is it a boy dog?”
“There’s definitely a boy hound dog somewhere around here,” she replied grimly. Then, relenting, she ruffled Joshua’s curls. “I’m kidding, Josh. And, no, I haven’t found a puppy yet. I haven’t even made up my mind yet. I want us to be sure we’re happy here before we make such a permanent decision.”
“I’m happy here,” Joshua said instantly, decisively.
She hugged him. “I’m glad you’re happy, little buddy, but I’m not certain I am. It’s much more difficult for adults to adjust to living together than it is for kids.”
“But Marie and Stefan are so great, Alex, and Aidan is the best. He helps me with my homework. We talk all the time. He’s cool. And he said—”
“I don’t want to hear what he said just now, okay? I have work to do, honey, remember? We have to have money to eat.”
“But Aidan has lots of money, and he said you wouldn’t have to work if you didn’t want to.”
She let her breath out slowly, holding on to her temper. She was sick of hearing what Aidan had to say. She was sick of his being in her mind, taking over her every waking moment. “I like to work, Josh. Now find something to do quietly or scoot.”
He made a face but settled down quickly with her old set of colored pens and a sketch pad. They settled into the familiar routine easily. Occasionally she asked his opinion on an idea, and sometimes he showed her his drawings. Alexandria felt they were very good for a six-year-old. She corrected a line here and there when he asked her to, but mostly she encouraged him to do it his way. For a short time, she felt as if she and her world were normal again.
But Aidan was always present. She could feel her mind tuning to his, reaching out to find him. Her ears listened for the sound of his beautiful voice. She found herself staring blankly at the paper before her, and twice she actually drew his likeness. Both times she tore it up quickly before Joshua could spot her obsession and tease her about it.
She tried not to be aware of Joshua’s heartbeat, of the ebb and flow of the blood running in his veins. She pretended she didn’t notice the way Marie’s pulse fascinated her when the housekeeper called Joshua to dinner. She ignored the remembered taste in her mouth, the feel of Aidan beneath her lips, the way her body writhed against his, craved his. She groaned and tried to turn away from yet another picture she had drawn of him. His mouth was set in that sensual, inviting line that seemed to mock her, lure her. Pure temptation.
She touched a fingertip to that mouth she had drawn so perfectly. “I won’t let you do this to me,” she whispered softly. She wanted him so badly. She needed him to comfort her, to make this world of madness and insanity make sense. She needed him to take away the gnawing, frightening hunger that kept her from fully enjoying Joshua’s company. Most of
all she needed him to merge his body with hers, to feel his mouth and his hands taking away the terrible burning, the emptiness. She needed his heart beating the same rhythm as hers, his mind invading hers, the ultimate intimacy, locking them together, sharing every wild fantasy as his body took possession of hers.
She went through all the normal motions that evening, helping Joshua with his homework, pretending to enjoy a show on television. They argued about the value of a wide-screen TV. Stefan took Joshua’s side, saying it was a necessity for old eyes. Marie sided with Alexandria that it was the ultimate in conspicuous consumption. But the blood rushing through all their veins was like a symphony, drowning out the sounds of the program and making Alexandria afraid for them. She tried to enjoy getting Joshua ready for bed, reading to him, having a short pillow fight, tucking him in. She had always loved their time together at night. Joshua was always so clean and sweet. But the loud beating of his heart interfered with her enjoyment now, and she felt trapped in the middle of a nightmare.
Alexandria dressed with care for her date with Thomas Ivan that night. But as the dress slid over her skin, she felt the brush of hot velvet. Her hands shook as she put up her hair. She had not seen Aidan once since she had fled him earlier. She felt him, always there, close, but he had taken care to stay out of her sight. Instead of being grateful, though, she was depressed. Maybe it didn’t matter that she was going out with another man. Maybe he didn’t care. And why should it? She didn’t want him to care. She wanted to find a human man, one she was attracted to. One she wanted to make love with. Not something obsessive and wild, but something gentle and loving. A human, normal man.
She inspected her nails. Formerly frustratingly stubby, they were now long and beautiful, well manicured, almost as if she’d had them professionally done. Even her hair seemed thicker, more luxurious, her eyelashes long and thick. Her skin, however, was pale, nearly translucent.
She sighed at her image in the mirror. She looked the same but different. More... She didn’t exactly know what. Just more. The dress clung like a second skin, emphasizing her full breasts and tiny waist. It could have been designed just for her. She ran a hand down the soft material covering her thigh. Her heart slammed against her throat when she looked up to find Aidan’s golden eyes watching her in the mirror. He stood behind her, his tall, powerfully built frame, his blond good looks complementing her own. She could taste him in her mouth. They made an erotic picture in the mirror, Aidan tall and heavily muscled, with his brilliant, hungry eyes, Alexandria slender and petite and pale.
“You look beautiful, Alexandria,” he said softly.
His voice was compelling, whispering over her skin with the same heat as the velvet dress. She couldn’t read his expression, only feel the molten gold of his gaze.
“I—I won’t be out late,” she stammered like a wayward teenager. And then she would have given anything to take the words back. Aidan didn’t smile, didn’t change expression.
She felt a shiver go down her spine. All at once her defiance seemed stupid, like baiting a tiger. That unblinking stare. Was he going to let her go? Only moments earlier she had been somewhat depressed that he would. Now she wanted nothing more than to run for her life, far away from him.
He shook his head slowly. “
Dio,
Alexandria. You persist in thinking me a monster. Take great care,
piccola
, that you do not create one.” He left the room as silently as he had entered.
She trembled at the threat. She touched her mouth. He had been staring at it. Her lips tingled so, she swore she could feel the brush of his mouth against hers. She closed her eyes, savoring the feel of him, then cursed that he could so easily control her. She was human.
Human
! And she was determined to stay that way.
Alexandria lifted her chin. She would not be swayed by his sex appeal, and she would not be intimidated by his threats. She slipped on her shoes and glided regally down the stairs.
Thomas had arrived precisely on time and was waiting for her in the living room, grateful that Aidan Savage had chosen not to inflict his presence on him. His breath caught in his throat as Alexandria entered. She seemed to be more beautiful each time he saw her. She amazed him, haunted him, wrapped him up until he could think of nothing but her. His work was suffering, as a result. He was daydreaming about her when he was supposed to be completing the story line for his latest video game. He even dreamed of her at night, hot, erotic dreams he had every intention of making come true.
“Thomas, this was such a good idea.” She greeted him in a voice that seemed to penetrate right to his heart and stir a response somewhat lower in his body as well.
Then he felt the weight of those damned golden eyes on him. Relentless. Merciless. They saw his reaction and damned him for it. Aidan Savage lounged with deceptive laziness in the doorway, one hip resting against the wall, his arms across his chest. He didn’t say anything. He didn’t have to. His mere presence struck terror into Thomas’s soul. Thomas took Alexandria’s cape and enveloped her in it, breathing in her perfume. “You look extraordinary, Alexandria. No one would ever know you’d been ill.”
Aidan did stir then, a mere rippling of muscles suggestive of a lethal predator. “Nevertheless, she has been extremely ill, Ivan. I trust you will see to it that she is well cared for and returned home early.”
Thomas smiled suavely, oozing charm. Damn the man, he wasn’t a teenager escorting his first date to the prom. He deliberately took Alexandria’s hand in his, knowing it would annoy her blond guard dog. “Not to worry, Savage. I intend to take very good care of her.” He urged her to the door, anxious to be away from Savage and his living, breathing, monstrous house.
Alexandria went with him willingly, seemingly as eager as he was. Out in the night air she stopped and took a deep breath. “He can be a bit overwhelming, can’t he?” she said, smiling. Smiling to rival the stars. Freedom. Blessed freedom. It didn’t matter at that moment that Ivan’s smile still reminded her of a shark’s toothy grin, or that she could hear his heart beating every bit as loudly as Joshua’s, or, even worse, that she could smell his arousal. She was away from Aidan Savage and his influence, and that was all she cared about.
“Overwhelming? Is that what you call it? He’s completely overbearing. The man acts as if he owns you,” Thomas burst out.
She laughed softly. “You get used to him. He can’t help it. He’s accustomed to giving orders. You probably know what that feels like,” she added mischievously.
He found himself laughing with her, relaxing as they made their way to the car he had waiting. He had deliberately hired a limo and driver to leave himself free for whatever might happen in the back seat later.
“I made a good start on the sketches, Thomas,” she volunteered, “but you didn’t specify what character traits were particularly important to you. I think you should decide ahead of time how you want individuals portrayed instead of leaving it all to me.”
“I’d prefer your input,” Thomas said, opening the door for her himself. He wanted to do it, and that surprised him. Most of the time the small courtesies he performed were only for effect. But Alexandria Houton was haunting. “Doesn’t that house bother you?”
She arched an eyebrow. “Bother me? The house? It’s beautiful. Everything about it is beautiful. Why do you ask?”
“I sometimes feel as if it’s watching me, biding its time, hating me.”
“Thomas, you’ve played too many of your own video games. What a vivid imagination.” Her laughter slid over him, touching him in places usually reserved for intimacy.
His hand inched across the seat toward hers. He wanted her more than he had ever wanted any woman. But then he glanced out the window and saw the reflection of eyes. Glowing, red, feral eyes filled with hate and the promise of retaliation, the promise of death. Unblinking cat’s eyes. The eyes of a demon. Of death. He shivered, and a moan escaped.
“What is it
?” Her voice was soothing, like the soft sound of running water. “Tell me, Thomas.”
“Did you see something weird?” He was choking on fear. “Out the window, do you see anything?”
She leaned around him to look at the reflective glass. “What am I supposed to see?”
The eyes were gone as if they had never been. Was it Savage? His own imagination? He cleared his throat and managed a smile. “Nothing. I guess I just can’t believe my good fortune.”
In the close confines of a car, it was difficult for Alex to ignore her growing hunger. It seemed to gnaw at her insides, spread like a cancer. Her mind seemed to amplify the sound of blood rushing in Ivan’s veins. Beckoning, calling. But her stomach heaved at the thought of touching him, and she fought to keep a smile plastered to her face. He seemed to find every excuse to touch her, brush her leg, her arm, her hand, her hair. She hated it. Loathed it. He made her skin crawl. She hated herself for not being able to return his amorous glances, his touches.
She smiled at him, said and did all the appropriate things, but inside her stomach was rebelling. Somewhere deep inside her soul, a dread began to take shape, to spread. Thomas Ivan was an eligible bachelor, wealthy, charming, famous. Human. He shared her love of fantasy; he admired her artwork. They had much in common, yet even his lightest touch repulsed her. Inside she began to weep.
Cara mia,
do you need me
? Aidan’s voice crossed time and distance to find her, to wrap her in warm, protective arms.
She bit her lip. The temptation to call for him was nearly overwhelming, but she resisted. She would be human. And she would find a fellow human to love. Maybe not Thomas Ivan, but someone.
I’m having the time of my life. Just so long as Ivan is not.
She felt his withdrawal from her mind, and it felt as if he had taken away her soul and left her dead inside. She lifted her chin and flashed Ivan a particularly brilliant smile. She placed her hand in his as he assisted her from the car. Determined to enjoy the evening, she took his arm as they entered the theater.
Dark Gold (Dark Series - book 3) Page 24