I only had one hour to get ready. I wanted to wear something that would leave him breathless! I chose a pale pink sheath dress with a lace insert around the neckline and my black T-strap shoes with very high heels.
When I had finished blow drying my hair and was working on my make-up, I heard Claudio entering his apartment. I wanted to update him about what was going on with me… It was thanks to him that I had met Cristian. All dressed up, I went out in the hallway and knocked on his door.
“Here you are, my goddess!” he said, as soon as he saw me.
“Thanks! I needed a compliment to be sure I chose the right outfit…” I smiled.
“Do you have a hot date?”
“I’m going out for dinner with your friend Cristian.”
He was silent for a long moment and I thought I had made a mess. Hoping I hadn’t hurt his feelings, I said, “This isn’t something that bothers you, right? I hope not, but if it is, please tell me. I really don’t want to create misunderstandings between us. You know how much I care about you and our friendship.”
“No, not at all. On the contrary, I’m happy for you… but I know Cristian is going to leave soon, and I’m afraid you may suffer all over again.”
Both my friends were afraid I might be broken hearted again and they worried about my still being vulnerable; but this time it was different. I knew it was going to end. I knew it wasn’t for all my life. But this encounter was the most romantic thing that had ever happened to me and I wanted to live it.
“I’m fine, Claudio. I won’t suffer. I’m learning that life is full of unforeseen events, for better or worse, and we cannot plan for the future, really. As you always say, we should take one day at a time.”
“Ok, you’re right. And you couldn’t do better than Cristian!”
I felt grateful and I warmly embraced him.
I went back to my apartment and waited for Cristian, who arrived half an hour late. I’d already understood that punctuality wasn’t a priority for him! We called a taxi to get to the restaurant. We couldn’t stop kissing each other even for the ten-minute taxi ride. He caressed my hair and I leaned on his shoulder. I felt like an adolescent on her first date.
The restaurant manager was an old friend of Cristian; they had met when they were both working in Mexico. I ordered a mojito, happily forgetting about my calories… Cristian got a beer and went to say hello to the owner and the waiters. I was discovering that he was an extrovert. This evening he was especially lively, he kept singing catchy Spanish tunes, and caressing my legs under the table.
“How was your day at the office?”
“As usual: bride dresses, flowers and confetti.”
“I think you have a fun job.”
“Yes, in a way it’s fun…”
“Have you ever thought of marrying?” His question caught me by surprise. Actually, I never really thought of marrying. I had always disliked weddings, yet I didn’t want to appear too cynical to my new lover.
“Honestly, I’ve never thought about it, perhaps because I haven’t met the right person yet.”
“And if the perfect man should appear tomorrow?”
“Hmm… I think I might consider the idea.” I didn’t really believe that it could happen to me, and found it strange to talk about marriage with a man I had only known for a few days and who would be leaving soon.
“Once I almost got married,” he said, while I was biting into a delicious cheese nacho.
“Really? And what happened?”
“We were very young and in love. Most of all we were naïve. She got pregnant and we decided to marry. It seemed the right thing to do for both of us. But she lost the baby and something fell apart between us. We broke up shortly after her miscarriage. But we are good friends now.”
“I’m sorry…”
“Don’t be sorry. Asi` es la vida. Later she married a good friend of mine and they are very happy together. They have two children.”
“I don’t think I’d be able to be good friends with an ex-boyfriend.”
“Are you telling me you’re not in touch with any of your exes?”
“Of course not! I don’t believe love can change into friendship. Or maybe one needs time, a long time, and anyway it’s never happened to me.” Also – but I didn’t confess this to Cristian – all I wanted to do was kick them in the ass, because each of them had hurt me.
“You’re very harsh! What about us? Do you think we will remain friends?”
His question caught me unprepared. We hadn’t even had time to get into a relationship, but I thought maybe I would like to keep in touch with him.
“Of course, we will remain friends!”
“Great! Let’s give a toast to our friendship.” He raised his glass…
We ordered two more drinks. I was already drunk with one mojito, spicy food, and happiness. My head was spinning.
After dinner we took a walk in a nearby park to sober up… Then we sat on a bench and started kissing like kids. We desired each other very much and I couldn’t wait to spend another night with him.
I was thinking that I had definitely changed my mind about couples kissing and cuddling in public spaces, when I noticed a dark car parking not far from us. A tall figure, somehow familiar, got out of the drivers side. The guy was talking and laughing on his phone. It took me a while to recognize Niccolo and for a second I felt breathless. I hid in Cristian’s arms – who didn’t realize anything was amiss – and waited for Niccolo to move away.
He seemed happy and relaxed. He didn’t notice us. I felt an animal instinct to attack him, to tear at his elegant clothes and rip out his stupid hair. I watched him walking away, and I had a diabolical idea.
“I’m a little cold, Cristian. Do you mind if we go home now?”
“I couldn’t wait for you to ask!” He laughed.
We walked towards the closest taxi stand, and as we approached Niccolo’s car parked on the street, I took my keys out of my Bottega Veneta handbag (bought second hand on eBay!). When we passed the precious black Audi – in which this man I once loved had kissed me so many times – I made a long scratch down the whole side of the car’s shiny surface, to leave an unforgettable memory!
I know, it was mean, but it made me feel better immediately. Revenge accomplished! Cristian was totally unaware. I took his hand and smiled at him.
“Let’s hurry home. I want to spend another special night with you,” I whispered.
*
Days went fast. Too fast. We spent as much time we could together, eating, drinking, laughing and making love. I discovered that Cristian was a renaissance man. Not only was he a good actor, but he knew how to sing, cook, and even how fix my old leaking kitchen faucet.
The last week we had together, we spent the two vacation days – that the bitch Valentina had given me – in bed! We only got up to take showers or to eat something in the kitchen. It was heaven.
I had decided to organize a farewell dinner for him on the last evening he would be in Milan. I didn’t forget that I had also promised to introduce him to Emma.
Claudio was in charge of the wine and Emma had to bring the dessert. I tried to make lasagna, meticulously following a recipe that my mother gave me over the phone.
Cristian and I were excited, but also a bit sad. After those incredible two weeks, we still couldn’t believe we would have to part soon. It seemed impossible.
For the dinner party I wore an elegant dress and to surprise me, Cristian had abandoned his faithful jeans and bought a dark suit to wear.
“How do you like me in this suit?” He asked me at the door, while I put my arms around his neck and covered his face with kisses.
“A man can wear whatever he wants. He will always remain a woman’s accessory.” I said laughing.
“Very kind of you!”
“It’s a Coco Chanel quote! Don’t be offended.”
“She must have known a lot about men,” he laughed too.
We sat on the sofa waiting for our guests. We had t
wo glasses of the wine I used for cooking. It was our last night, and we spent a lot of time just looking at each other without saying anything.
Claudio arrived on time and immediately opened a bottle of the Barolo wine he brought to let it breathe. A few minutes later Emma arrived. She brought a delicious mille-feuilles cake and she was very excited to finally meet the man of my dreams.
“Hi, Emma,” Cristian said, kissing her on both cheeks.
“Hello, Cristian. I’m Rebecca’s best friend and she has talked a lot about you. I couldn’t wait to meet you!”
“Really? Did you talk a lot about me?” Cristian asked, amused.
“My best friend forgot to add that she talks too much!” I said, giving Emma the evil eye while she smiled at me, embarrassed.
We sat around the table and began to eat. Strangely my lasagna was pretty good and everybody had two helpings… I felt proud.
“Coco, you outdid yourself!” Claudio said, finishing the last bit of pasta on his plate.
At that moment my life seemed perfect. I looked at Cristian and my friends, and thought that this was my idea of happiness, even if it lasted just one second! I was lucky.
Then, maybe because of the good red wine I had drank, I began to fantasize about Cristian and me seriously being a couple. I dreamed of us drinking coffee in bed on Sunday morning, shopping for groceries together, spending rainy evenings cuddling, going out with friends, and sleeping every night in a tight embrace… While immersed in these thoughts, I suddenly realized that maybe I was falling in love again, and that it was a good thing that Cristian was going to leave the next day.
I gathered the plates and joined Emma, who stood near the sink checking her phone. She had been doing this for most of the evening. It wasn’t her style.
I looked in her eyes, and asked: “are you ok?”
“Yes, Coco. I’m just checking my mail. And you?”
Good question. “I feel strange, Emma. I really like this guy and I don’t know how to let him go tomorrow.”
“I told you that it wouldn’t be easy. I know you too well.”
“You’re right, but I had to do this, otherwise I would regret it forever.”
“I understand. However, being with Cristian has been good for you. It has been months since I’ve seen you like this. Look at you! You seem like a different person: cheerful, serene and much less angry.”
Yes, the actor who had come from the other side of the world had healed my broken heart. Now I shouldn’t spoil everything by suffering again.
We moved to the living room and chatted a little longer until our friends left. The last night Cristian and I spent together was perfect. We both wanted to enjoy every minute that was left and we didn’t sleep at all. When I saw the dawn light creeping through the bedroom window, I asked him if he wanted me to drive him to the airport.
“I would prefer not,” he said with a serious tone. “It would make things even more difficult. Let’s say goodbye here, at your home. I want to remember you like this: naked, with your messed up hair, more beautiful than you’ve ever been before.”
I let him go, and immediately the house seemed terribly empty to me.
He had been here just long enough time to heal my heartbreak.
10
The Competition
Monday morning, the day after Cristian left, I was very down. I missed him more than I had imagined. The most difficult thing was sleeping without him.
Once again I arrived at the office with dark circles under my eyes. They had become my signature look!
The atmosphere at the office was electric that morning. Everybody was ramped up with excitement. Our boss Paolo had important news, and had called all of us in for a meeting.
While waiting for the meeting to start, I sat at my desk to check e-mails. I was looking for something from Cristian, and I found a brief message. He said hello from Belgium, sending kisses and hugs.
I smiled a bittersweet smile.
At nine-thirty we all headed to the conference room on the second floor. Paolo was already there sitting with his faithful assistant on his right. For this occasion, he wore a dark suit and a thin black tie, instead of his usual uniform of jeans and a sweatshirt. I looked around and almost fainted! What was Etienne doing in an elegant suit and with a tired face sitting on Paolo’s left? What was happening? Why was my heart racing? I had a terrible foreboding feeling and all of a sudden I broke out in a cold sweat.
“Welcome everybody!” Paolo said, while we were taking our seats. “Thank you for your presence and punctuality.”
Valentina took a seat close to me, and her strong, sugary perfume woke me from reverie.
An errand boy sitting with the boss? Why? Had the Russian revolution finally succeeded?
“You’re all here because we have great news to tell you. As many of you already know, a few months ago we began a closer collaboration with our French partners. We have had great results and we are really satisfied.”
Behind Paolo there was a large illuminated screen where we could see a power point presentation of the company’s financial performance and the number of events taking place. The graph’s line went up and showed evident growth.
“Some of you have already met Etienne, the CEO of Seven – our French partner agency – and have had a chance to work with him…”
Had I understood correctly? I started to hyperventilate! Etienne, the blue-eyed errand boy, the guy I’d stolen the love letter from, was the CEO of Seven? One of the most important events agencies in Europe?
My head was spinning and I began to feel sick to my stomach.
Why didn’t he tell me this? At that moment I wanted a magic wand to transform myself into some kind of microscopic organism! I needed a spell, right now! What the hell could I do? I felt like a mouse in a trap. Actually, more like a Neanderthal at a Nobel Prize convention!
Etienne was smiling at me, while my face was becoming redder and redder.
“Our agency has decided to give three weeks training experience in Paris to one of you.”
A buzz rose in the room. Everybody was excited at the idea of working in Paris at such a prestigious agency.
“We want to give each of you the chance to participate in this selection. Therefore, in the next few months we’ll look closely at your work and productivity to see who among you will meet our expectations and go to Paris.”
I was still thinking about my mistake about Etienne. I was devastated. I felt definitely cheated, but at the same time I was excited and curious at the idea of Etienne inventing that story for me, only for me.
Then there was the competition. I would love to win, but I knew I didn’t have a chance. There were several people more skilled than me who deserved to win this training program in Paris. I looked at Valentina. Her satisfied smile showed she felt victory was within her grasp and she didn’t fear the competition with other colleagues.
“Let me be clear. We do not want to put you in any kind of competition. We only want to award the one person who best demonstrates his or her potential. So, please continue your work as always, and don’t forget we are a team rowing in the same direction.” Paolo ended his speech.
We all burst into applause. The possibility of going to Paris was exciting for everybody.
Etienne stood up and took the podium. “It will be a pleasure to collaborate with you all. Don’t forget we are here to work, but also to have fun. We are lucky, we do a very exciting job. Don’t ever lose your enthusiasm and keep going as always. You’re great. May the best person win!”
He was charismatic and self-confident. A true leader. How could I have thought he was an errand boy? I was an idiot, without hope for redemption!
*
I tried to forget the embarrassing memory of my bad faux pas with Etienne, at least until some brilliant idea of how to apologize would come to me. At the moment I could only focus on the good news of the day and mingle among my colleagues.
The hope of winning the training peri
od in Paris will definitely improve employee performance, but I was also afraid that the competition would be fierce. Our bosses (the ex-errand boy included!) probably ignored the fact that some of us would be ready to tear our adversaries to pieces to win, and the blonde tiger, with her passion for gossiping and online dating, was one of them. It was Hunger Games in Milan!
However, the challenge was really appealing. I had always dreamed of working in Paris, and now someone was giving me the possibility – however remote – to do it!
Paolo left the room and then everybody else began to leave, whispering, laughing and calling one another to comment on the news.
Valentina looked at me: “You might as well go ahead and congratulate me!”
“For now I will just say good luck to you.” I replied.
I left her to mingle in the crowd of employees. I needed a moment to reflect, and think of how to deal with the boss-errand boy situation. I had to find a good strategy.
While I was walking, one of my heels got stuck in a seam of the carpet and I had a disastrous fall. Paolo, who was nearby, run to help me. “Are you ok?” he asked, trying to lift me up… I had hurt one of my knees, but it was nothing serious.
“Yes, I’m fine.” I answered taking his hand to get up. My heel had come completely unglued from my shoe and it was hard for me even to balance. “Unfortunately, I cannot say the same about my shoe!” I added, picking my heel up from the floor.
“Don’t worry. I have a very strong glue that will solve the problem. You can find it in the right drawer of my desk.” Paolo said, winking at me.
I thanked him and limped towards his office. I found the glue and sat on the floor to try to fix my poor shoe. I loved those shoes, and didn’t want to throw them away.
I was there sitting on the carpet waiting for the glue to dry, when someone entered the room, closing the door behind him. It was Etienne talking on his phone. He paced up and down the room, raising his voice. He spoke French and seemed upset. At some point I heard that he addressed the person he was talking to, as ‘Juliette.’ So, he was on the phone with her, his fiancée. Again! Unwillingly, I was violating their privacy. And again I had the same, strange sensation I felt when I had found his love letter. It was as if I were there to listen to his conversation, as if someone had purposely placed me there, in that precise moment, to listen to his words. A strange destiny seemed to bond me to Etienne and Juliette, and I didn’t know why.
Coco Chanel Saved My Life Page 12