by Tina Leonard
“Really well,” Daniel said. “It’s a great operation, and they offered me the position.” He waited only a beat before admitting, “But I’m not going to take it. I think...I think I’m going to look for something a little closer to home.”
Jacob clapped him on the back. “Glad to hear it. You know I would’ve supported your decision either way, but we’d miss you.” His expression turned sly. “When you say ‘closer to home,’ do you by any chance mean closer to San Antonio?”
Daniel elected not to answer. But he was grinning as he steered his truck out of the lot, counting the minutes until he could kiss Nicole hello.
* * *
LEANING ON THE marble counter in the ladies’ room, Nicole shot her reflection a reproving glare. Get it together. It hadn’t mattered if she got weepy during the slide show that featured pictures of Carly and Luke growing up, because the lights had been dimmed. But now that the show was over and the waiters were about to serve the dessert course, people might notice that she was falling apart.
She’d been on an emotional roller coaster all day after not having slept well for the past two nights. It wasn’t so much that Daniel hadn’t been lying in the bed next to her that made her want to curl up in a ball—even in her heightened emotional state, she wasn’t so far gone that she couldn’t last two nights without him—but the knowledge that after tomorrow’s wedding, their time together was over. They’d reached the end of the road.
Since they’d been surrounded by his family all night, she hadn’t asked him about his interview. But even if discretion hadn’t kept her silent, dread might have. Even as she acknowledged that they had no future, she hated imagining him so far away. If his enthusiastic kiss hello and nonstop smiling tonight were any indication, his interview had gone really well.
Then you should be happy for him. Just as she was happy that Adele had reunited with her children and would probably be spending a lot more time in Dallas from now on. And happy for herself, learning that she was going to be the mother of two babies! Yep, everything was coming together wonderfully.
So why am I crying in a steak house bathroom?
Taking a deep breath, she reached for the door, resolved to go back out there and be a fun date for the rest of the night. Since she was in town for only a few more days, she should make the most of them, not sabotage what precious time she and Daniel had left.
She was halfway across the restaurant when he walked up to her. Obviously, she’d been missing so long that he’d come looking for her. “Sorry,” she said. “Seeing those baby pictures got me all choked up. I needed a minute.”
“That’s okay. Actually, I was hoping to steal a moment alone with you. I’ve got something I’ve been wanting to tell you all night.”
“They offered you the job,” she said numbly.
“Well, yes, but— Here, come with me.” He led her to an unoccupied corner of the restaurant bar, settling her on a stool and leaning close. “They did offer me the job, but I’m going to turn it down. Colorado is too far away from you,” he added, tipping her chin up with his thumb. “I don’t want us just to be some holiday fling. You made this the best Christmas of my life. I don’t want to give you up yet.”
The word yet flashed like a glowing red warning sign. “So what’s the plan, to hook up on the weekends and dump me when the babies are born?” The question spilled out uncensored, exposing her raw, ugly fears.
“No!” He straightened, looking startled. “Nicole, I thought you’d be happy about this. Did you miss me at all when I was gone?”
Yes. “It was only two days.”
“Well, it was long enough for me to realize I’m falling in love with you.”
Her heart stopped. They were the words she hadn’t been able to admit she wanted to hear. The words that were too good to be true. But they were, after all, only words. None of the facts had changed. A couple of weeks ago he’d claimed he never wanted to marry or have kids, and now he was pledging his love for a woman pregnant with twins?
She cupped his face with her palm, unable to resist touching him. “Oh, Daniel. I want to believe that, but... This is a sentimental time for you right now. The big family holiday, Carly’s wedding. You’re surrounded by happy couples every time you turn around. It’s easy to get caught up in that.”
“That’s not what this is.”
“I grew up watching an addict. We had moments like these. She said a lot of things she probably meant at the time. But change isn’t easy. It doesn’t happen just because we had a lovely Christmas together. I spent my childhood waiting for her to clean up her act, to keep her promises, to come back for me. I can’t do that again. What happens a few months down the road, when I’ve let myself rely on you and you realize that a relationship with the mother of two isn’t what you want?”
“You can’t know that will happen!”
“Just like you can’t guarantee it won’t. This—” she waved her hand between them “—has been fun. But it was a temporary escape from reality, nothing more. I have to start planning for three. You’re a hell of a guy, Daniel Baron, but you were never part of those plans.”
Chapter Thirteen
Half a whiskey over ice later, Daniel was still seated at the bar, trying to figure out what in the hell had happened. He’d told a woman he loved her—a woman he’d been nearly certain returned his feelings—and she’d ended their relationship. She’d compared him to the addict who’d abandoned her. How was that fair?
“Daniel?”
He swiveled at the sound of his brother’s voice. “Hey.”
“We’ve been trying to figure out where you and Nicole disappeared to.”
“Nicole left.” Her parting words had been that, under the circumstances, she didn’t think she should be at the wedding. He wasn’t going to see her tomorrow. If she had her way, he wouldn’t ever see her again. It felt as if he’d fallen off his stool, through the floor and just kept plummeting. “Nicole left for good.”
Jacob did a double take. “You mean she dumped you?”
“Not sure.” He downed the last of the whiskey. “Do you have to be in a relationship to get dumped? Because we weren’t. She made that very clear. We were ‘fun.’ And ‘temporary.’” She’d reduced him to using air quotes. He’d hit rock bottom.
“Oh, boy.” Jacob shifted his weight, looking uncomfortable, obviously wishing he had a way to help. “How about I let Mariana drive Cody home, and I ride with you? I could crash at your place tonight if you need someone to listen.”
“Can we stop on the way and pick up more whiskey?”
Jacob winced. “Ordinarily, I’d say you were entitled, but you can’t show up hungover at Carly’s wedding.”
“Good point. No matter, I can always toast Nicole’s farewell another night.” Because he had a feeling that the jagged pain that had taken up residence in his chest when she left would be there for many, many nights to come.
* * *
BY ALL RIGHTS, Nicole should be sick as a dog this morning. She’d barely eaten her food at last night’s rehearsal dinner, she hadn’t slept well in three days and she’d sobbed through half the night. But her stomach, if not her spirit, was completely serene. It’s as if the babies sensed that she was already stretched to her wit’s end and had decided to take it easy on her today.
Still, even though she felt all right physically, her emotions must be clear on her face because Adele’s eyes were full of concern.
“I hate leaving you,” Adele said, sitting on the foot of the couch where Nicole was tucked around a pillow. “If it weren’t my daughter’s wedding...”
“Of course you should go!” Nicole attempted a teasing smile. “After all the work I did to introduce you back into their lives, I’d be furious if you missed this. With any luck, Carly will be too smitten with the groom to notice my absence, but maybe som
etime later, you can mention that I was feeling really sick today.” Heartsick was a kind of sick, wasn’t it?
“I know I already asked this last night, but are you sure you don’t want to tell me what happened?”
“There’s not much to tell.” Except that the guy she’d been falling in love with suddenly claimed to feel the same way about her. Odd how that felt like a tragedy and not something to celebrate. “I decided that, in light of how emotional I’ve been lately, it was better to go ahead and say goodbye to Daniel instead of drawing it out. You know how they say everyone cries at weddings? I was afraid that if I started, I wouldn’t be able to stop.”
Adele heaved a sigh. “But telling him goodbye hurt more than you thought it would.”
“I know, you tried to warn me.” The prediction had been that it would end with Nicole in her pajamas, eating ice cream and listening to sad music. Well, she hadn’t resorted to frozen dairy or power ballads yet. But she was curled up on the sofa in flannel jammies.
“Oh, honey. I’m not trying to say I told you so. It’s just that I know what an openhearted person you are. You said you and Daniel were having fun but that you wouldn’t let yourself care. Caring about others is who you are! It’s what’s made you the best friend I’ve ever had. And it’s how I know you’ll make a terrific mom.”
Sniffling, Nicole squeezed her hand. “Thank you. But you should really get going.” She suppressed, just barely, the urge to ask Adele to bring ice cream back with her when she returned.
* * *
IT WAS A beautiful wedding. In the moments when Daniel could banish Nicole from his mind—which, admittedly, weren’t many—he found himself smiling at the outpouring of love around him. So many friends and family crammed into the sanctuary to wish Carly and Luke well. Rosie’s favorite battered elephant had even been made a special dress and had a place of honor in one of the front pews as Rosie’s daddy and new mommy exchanged their vows.
The sweet scent of flowers filled the chapel, and the dark green and gold color scheme was seasonal without making the wedding look like Christmas redux. Before Daniel knew it, the ceremony was over. Funny, that a ritual meant to bond people together for the rest of eternity could be completed in under an hour. As soon as the photographer finished getting the last of the church photos, it would be time to return to the ranch, where caterers had been setting up all morning, for the reception.
Daniel had joked recently about seeing Nicole do the Chicken Dance at the reception. Now he just wanted to see her, period. Even though he’d known she wasn’t coming, right up until the time they’d closed the doors after the bride’s entrance, he’d kept a hopeful eye on the back of the sanctuary. Which had been foolish of him. Nicole Bennett was a woman who knew her mind. She’d risen at a comparatively young age to vice president because of her determination, and when she’d decided she wanted to have kids, by golly, she’d gone right out and made that happen, too. So if she said she didn’t want to see Daniel again...
“Daniel!” At the front of the church, Carly had her hands on her hips, looking gorgeous but imperious in her wedding gown. “What are you waiting for? When the photographer said the bride’s brothers and sisters, he meant you, too!”
“Right. Sorry.” He didn’t bother explaining that his mind had wandered. He simply made his way up to the altar, where everyone else was waiting. It didn’t escape his notice that Lizzie was watching him with the same sympathetic worry Jacob had been showing all day.
As soon as the pictures were done, Lizzie touched the sleeve of his tuxedo jacket. “I couldn’t help notice Mom came alone today,” she whispered. “No Nicole?”
“No.” He swallowed hard. “No Nicole.”
After that, everyone was dismissed. People paired off around him to return to their cars—Savannah and Travis, Jet and Jasmine, Lizzie and Chris, Jacob and Mariana and today’s newlyweds. Daniel was the only one who stood alone. But he didn’t feel as separate from the rest as he had a few weeks ago. Then, he hadn’t understood the wedding fever that seemed to be burning through his family. Now, even though Nicole wasn’t interested in pursuing a relationship with him, at least he got it. He understood what the others had found and why they treasured it. He was happy for them in a way that hadn’t been possible before.
And he’d miss them all when he moved to Colorado. With Nicole rejecting his offer that they build a real relationship, turning down the job to be close to her was pointless. He’d explained his decision that morning to Jacob, who’d accepted it with a solemn nod, but today wasn’t the right time to share the news with everyone else.
To accommodate the crowd invited to the reception at the ranch, valets had been hired. Daniel handed over the keys to his pickup, seeing the Roughneck with new eyes. It was a place of celebration today, bedecked in flowers and bows, a bandstand and a portable dance floor beneath a huge tent that also accommodated tables and chairs and space heaters. He politely refused the glass of champagne a waiter offered. If he started drinking, he might get maudlin and focus on his own unhappiness instead of Carly’s joy. Of course, that was probably going to happen anyway, but why accelerate the process? His sister deserved wall-to-wall smiles today.
“How are you doing?”
He turned to find Savannah smiling gently at him. Sighing, he shook his head ruefully. “Does everyone know that I’m pining over Nicole?”
“Well...it was hard to miss the way you were all lit up at Christmas, when she was next to you. You glowed brighter than the lights on the tree. Now she’s not here. And you’re decidedly unglowy. Hang in there.”
“Is this where you tell me there are other fish in the sea?” He appreciated the effort, but he didn’t think platitudes were going to help.
She frowned. “No, I don’t think so. Have you considered that maybe the answer is trying harder to catch the fish you want?” With that, she left him to go speak to the cousin waving from across the tent.
He was bemused by her advice. It wasn’t as if he’d let Nicole slip through his fingers without telling her how he felt. Savannah was definitely not the only one who’d noticed the quiet misery he was trying to mask. While Jasmine danced ring-around-the-rosy style with her giggling twin girls, Jet came up to Daniel and offered him a beer.
“Thanks.” Daniel sat it on the table in front of him. “Surprised you’re not out there dancing with them.”
“Nah. Jasmine’s girls have taken to me better than I had any right to expect, but they still need some mommy-daughter time. Besides, I wanted to catch you. I...know you’ve always felt more comfortable talking to Jacob. Why wouldn’t you? He’s older and definitely wiser. I know people have trouble taking me seriously.”
That might have been true, once, but no one who’d seen Jet’s devotion to his fiancée could question how serious he was about her and her girls. Daniel envied him the opportunity. How could he demonstrate to Nicole that he wanted to be there for her and the babies when they weren’t even born yet?
“Anyway,” Jet continued, “I just wanted to let you know that I’m here, too. If you ever need to talk brother to brother.”
Not, Daniel noticed, stepbrother to stepbrother. Although he’d made the distinction all these years, it seemed that the Barons did not. No, they’d rallied around him when he’d been injured, insisting on driving him to his medical appointments, teasing him about Nicole and all finding opportunities at Christmas to tell him how wonderful she was. Growing up, he’d resented the Barons for not letting him in. But maybe he hadn’t given them enough opportunity to include him.
“Thank you,” Daniel said, genuinely touched by Jet’s concern. “I appreciate the offer.”
“We should get together more. Shoot pool or throw darts now that your shoulder is healing.”
“I... Actually, I won’t be in town much longer.”
Jet grinned. “You’re going to San Antoni
o, aren’t you? Awesome. I just won ten bucks.”
“No! I’m going to Colorado.” His siblings were betting on him? Some of his newly discovered warm feelings chilled slightly. “I’ve been offered a job on a ranch there.”
“But Nicole isn’t in Colorado.” Jet said the words with exaggerated patience.
“Coincidentally, Nicole doesn’t want to see me again.”
“Then she’s crazy. You two are great together.”
“Were,” Daniel corrected. “We were great together.” But now she was moving forward with her life. Colorado was his opportunity to do the same.
* * *
“UM...MAYBE WE should take five.” Sierra Bailey handed Daniel his towel, her hazel eyes wide with concern. “And you know it’s bad when I say that because I’m hard-core.”
He almost managed a smile for the physical therapist. “You want people to believe that, but I’m starting to think you’re a softie inside.”
She snorted. “I thought you ended up in the hospital for a shoulder wound, not a head injury.” She waited while he took a slug from his bottle of water. “Now, you want to tell me why you seem hell-bent on kicking an invisible person’s ass today?”
It was his own ass he wanted to kick. He’d waited too long. The morning after the wedding, he’d tried Nicole’s cell. He’d left her a few messages and even tried calling her at work, where the perky receptionist maintained that she was unavailable. Not wanting to be a stalker, he hadn’t shown up at her apartment or place of business. Until yesterday morning. He’d been desperate enough to go by the apartment.
Adele had let him in, and he could see that she was in the midst of packing. She’d informed him in grave tones that Nicole had caught a flight to San Antonio the previous night. And, Daniel, she doesn’t want to hear from you.
Even though he’d told Jet and Jacob that it was over with Nicole, that he’d accepted it, apparently he hadn’t believed until that moment Nicole would leave without saying goodbye. She said her goodbyes. At the rehearsal dinner, remember?