by Tina Leonard
“We don’t need plates.” He popped open the dish. “Here.”
He rested his hips against the counter and plunged his fork into the pie. Fascinated, she watched as he lifted the fork to his lips and popped the morsel into his mouth. “Aren’t you going to join me?” he asked, holding out the dish.
She hesitated.
“Come on,” he cajoled. “It’s so good. Creamy and rich and spicy, just the way I like it.”
Her cheeks flamed. That had been deliberate. He was trying to provoke her and it was working.
She took a small piece on her fork and ate it. “There, satisfied?” she asked.
He met her gaze. “Not even close.”
He put more pie on his fork and held it out for her to taste. “Come on, Carrie,” he urged, his voice low. “It’s delicious.”
“You’re trying to seduce me with pie,” she said, embarrassed that it was actually working. Pumpkin pie and flannel pajamas. Not exactly your typical sexy trappings for a seduction scene.
Duke put down the fork. “Truth?” he asked, his gaze steady on hers. “I don’t want to stay away from you any longer. I understand why you took a step back. Things got a little intense. I know you’re concerned about what the men might think and how that might affect your authority. I’m not oblivious, Carrie. But I’m tired of pretending I don’t want to be with you when I do.”
Her breath came out in a rush. This was definitely worse than the pie....
“I know nothing is settled. I don’t know what’s going to happen with Crooked Valley and I can’t—I won’t—make promises that I don’t know if I can keep. I don’t know what the future holds, and if we take this anywhere at all we both need to accept that going in.”
“You really think it’ll be easy to walk away when the time comes? I’m not naive, Duke. I know there’s a good chance you’ll be going again, and where will that leave me? I’m not sure how resilient I am. I’m not the kind of girl who can engage in a torrid affair without feelings involved.”
He put the dish down on the counter. “Are you saying you’re in love with me, Carrie?”
“God, no.” It was far too soon to even consider such a thing. “But I’m not lying to myself, either. If we carry on the way we started, it won’t be a breeze to shake hands and say good luck in the end.”
“So you’d rather stop it in its tracks. Avoid that type of situation altogether.”
She nodded.
He took two steps forward, until he was standing directly in front of her. To her surprise he reached out and took her hands in his. “Part of what the military taught me was that there are never any guarantees. Never any absolutes. Maybe I’m leaving again, maybe I’m not. We never know if we’re going to be here tomorrow or next month or next year, but we can’t stop living because of it.” He squeezed her fingers. “I don’t know how this will end, but I know I want to be with you. Spend time with you. I feel better when you’re around. Not to mention the crazy chemistry we have going on.”
Chemistry indeed. It had zinged between them from that very first dance at the saloon, refusing to be ignored.
“I’m here until the New Year at least,” he said quietly. “We can be discreet.”
“A secret,” she answered, her brows pulling together a bit.
“No, not a secret. That makes it sound like we’re ashamed.” He gazed into her eyes. “I’m not. We’re adults. We don’t need to sneak around. I just mean...maybe we can hold on to our privacy. What we do is our business.”
It was the oddest proposition she’d ever received, and yet it was the most heartfelt, too. He wasn’t making pretty promises; he was being completely honest. She wasn’t into taking chances with her heart, but something he said struck a chord, too. What was she going to do, lock herself away in this house waiting for a guarantee that she wouldn’t get hurt? That didn’t make any sense, either.
But this was a different sort of choice. This was deliberately moving forward knowing perfectly well that the odds were it wouldn’t last. Could she take the leap and just commit herself to enjoying a month of Duke and then walking away?
He let go of one of her hands and lifted his, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear. “I came out here tonight because I was sitting alone and I knew you were sitting alone and it didn’t make any sense when we like being together.” He kissed her softly, his mouth tugging slightly on her lips, making her knees wobble a little bit. “I can’t stop thinking about kissing you. About making love to you. I can’t stand the idea that our one time was our last time. That’s why I’m here, Carrie. I’m not ready to give up yet. And I had to know if you felt the same.”
This was the moment where she could say no and end it right here. The future was in front of her, and all she could see was a blurry gray area with no focus. What was crystal clear, though, was the next several weeks. She could say no and face days of the same empty house over and over, of a few evenings at the bar with Kailey doing exactly the same thing, of an empty holiday with sympathy invitations for poor single Carrie. Or she could put her hand in Duke’s and they could navigate these few weeks together. She could let the future take care of itself—it always did in the end, as she well knew.
“I don’t want to get hurt,” she murmured, lifting her eyes to his.
“And I’ll do my best not to hurt you. Can’t we just take it one day at a time? Not worry about the future?”
She swallowed. His fingers were rubbing over her knuckles and she knew there was only one answer she could give. The one she truly wanted to give, and all that was holding her back was fear.
Her fingers clasped his tightly and, with her heart pounding, she tugged his hand and began the short walk down the hall to her bedroom. Once inside, she shut the door behind them, enclosing them in the intimate space, the centerpiece of the room being the double bed.
“You’re sure?” he asked quietly.
“I’m not the kind to have affairs. To think about the here and now and not the future. Maybe I need to learn how to do more of that.” She looked up at him and found a little more confidence. “When you lose the people you love, you sometimes forget to keep living. You think you’re protecting yourself from getting hurt again. But maybe you miss out on a lot of good things, too. I think I need some good things in my life. I think I need you, Duke. For however long I can have you.”
“I think I need you, too,” he replied, grazing his thumb over her cheek. “Let’s just take it as it comes. If either of us needs to back off at any time...no hard feelings.”
He made it sound so logical. Could it really be that simple?
“No hard feelings,” she echoed. And whatever misgivings that remained were forgotten as he reached for her.
* * *
BLACK FRIDAY DIDN’T actually dawn. The sky turned marginally lighter as big flakes of snow fluttered to the ground, building up on the corners of Carrie’s bedroom window. Carrie blinked and rolled slightly, staring at the curve of Duke’s shoulder. Lord, he was beautiful. And strong. And way too charismatic for her good.
She wasn’t sure at all about this new arrangement they had going—she had a sneaky suspicion that it would leave her hurt in the end. And yet...there was a warm glow inside her that she knew was down to Duke and his attention. He made her feel beautiful, desirable, wanted. It was something very new. She had never considered herself much of a girlie girl, but Duke made her feel...womanly.
She giggled a little, amazed at even having those thoughts. What in the world had come over her?
Duke stirred and rolled over, his eyes slowly opening. “Well. I guess I slept over.”
“I guess you did,” she answered, secretly pleased that he hadn’t felt the need to get up and leave in the middle of the night. Waking up beside him was kind of special, and a first for her.
Five weeks, she remi
nded herself. In five weeks he could be gone. For once, just enjoy it, girl.
“Is it snowing?”
“It looks that way.” She snuggled closer to him since her heat hadn’t kicked in. “We should get back to the ranch. But you’re so nice and warm....”
His arms came around her. “It’s freezing in here. Your nose is like ice.”
She had the thermostat set to go down at night to save on heating bills. “I like warm covers and cool air for sleeping,” she answered. “I’ll go turn up the heat.”
The floor was cold on her feet and she zipped out to the hall, turned up the main thermostat and ran back to bed, jumping back under the covers. “I think the temp really dropped last night.”
“Do you think everything is okay at home?” Duke raised up on an elbow.
“It’s just a regular snowfall. The stock will be fine.” She grinned, secretly pleased that he’d referred to the ranch as home. “Are you worried about them?”
“Maybe a little.”
“That’s good. It shows you care.” She rolled over to her back. “You know, Quinn and the boys will have things under control. It would be a good day for me to show you some of the records, and I’ve got some decisions to make for next spring and what we’re going to seed. It’s a delicate balance, caring for the longevity of the land and trying to produce the best beef possible.”
“I’m learning there’s a lot of science to ranching. It’s not just feeding animals and then selling them off.”
“Joe always said he wanted the ranch land to still be rich and fertile hundreds of years from now, so it could support and sustain.”
“Like a caretaker.”
Carrie’s heart warmed. “Yes, like that. We call it stewardship. Taking care of the land that takes care of us. Quinn’s the main boss when it comes to all this, and we talk a lot about what I want to do to keep the cattle side as profitable as possible while maintaining the integrity of the land and the overall goals at the same time. I know we’re employees, Duke, but we care. We really do.”
“I know that. Joe was very lucky to have you.”
“He taught us and then he trusted us. He would have done the same for you.”
Duke’s body tensed slightly and he pulled away. Not much, but enough that she felt the withdrawal.
“Sorry,” she apologized softly. “I know you don’t like to talk about him.”
“It’s okay. Look, when I got here I was a little angry that in the end Joe got his way—he got me on the ranch just like he always wanted. I’m not so angry about that now.”
“That’s good, isn’t it?”
“In some ways.” He brushed a piece of hair off her face. “I’m certainly not sorry I met you.”
She got that delicious, weightless feeling in her stomach again.
His face sobered. “But I have regrets, too. I was selfish, Carrie. I was so bent on making my point that I overlooked the fact that he loved this place. I wish I’d made more of an effort to see him over the years. I can’t fix that.”
“And you like to fix things, don’t you?”
“I don’t know. Maybe.”
She smiled and rolled to face him. “Oh, you do. It goes right back to the day you earned your nickname. Know what I think? I think you had to make a choice, and you followed in your dad’s footsteps because buckling to the pressure to be involved in the ranch would seem like a betrayal to his memory. To your duty as his son.”
Duke sat up, the bedspread pooling around his hips. “Damn, Carrie.” He slid out of bed and pulled on his jeans. “I didn’t stay over so I could be psychoanalyzed.”
“That wasn’t my intention.”
He spun around, agitation marring his face. “Could you repeat that? I didn’t hear you.”
How easily she forgot about his hearing problem. On the outside Duke appeared perfect. But he had scars. Physical and emotional. Regrets were like that. She should know.
“I said,” she repeated, well aware of his attention to her lips, “that I didn’t mean to go all shrink on you. I just meant that you should give yourself a break. You can’t be all things to everyone, Duke.”
He sat back down on the edge of the bed and sighed. “It’s an underdog thing,” he admitted. “I might have liked my time here more when I was a kid. I know my dad did, even if he did choose the forces over farming. It’s just that...I heard so often that if he’d only stayed home and not gone into the army, he would still be around. Like he’d let them down or failed them somehow. For God’s sake, he died. That should have been sacrifice enough.”
And he’d rushed to defend his dad by following his example. Oh, what a loyal and tender heart he had underneath the steely strength. “Your dad would be proud of you. And I think Joe would, too. If he didn’t believe in you, he would have set things up differently. I think he understood more than you realize.”
In a way, it hurt her just a bit that Joe hadn’t told her—or Quinn—his plans in his will. They’d given the ranch years of dedication. They’d been more than employees. They’d been like family. Duke wasn’t the only one to feel a bit manipulated.
“Anyway,” she said, changing the subject to something lighter. “Let’s get some breakfast and head over. I’ll give you a tutorial on grassland management.”
They got up and dressed, and Carrie quickly scrambled some eggs and made toast while Duke shoveled off the steps. When he stomped his way back in, he was frowning. “It’s really coming down. Not a blizzard, but a good snowfall. The roads are gonna be slick.”
She scooped eggs onto a plate and handed it to him, then reached into the fridge for jam. “I wonder if it’s just our elevation or if it’s more widespread. It’ll put a damper on all the Black Friday sales.” She laughed. “Not that I care. I like a good bargain as much as the next guy, but my idea of fun isn’t cramming myself into a store full of crazy people.”
“What is your idea of fun?”
She took her plate to the table. “I dunno. I guess a hot cup of coffee while watching the snow is a good start. Going for a ride at sunset. Fishing in the creek and making a snowman.”
“You really are an outdoor girl, aren’t you?”
She nodded. “Yup. Though I’m also partial to chick flicks and chocolate-covered raisins. I like to keep it simple.”
“I like that about you.”
Their eyes met, and she quickly looked down at her toast. She could get too used to this. Chemistry, yes, but she liked him. Liked him a lot.
Just enjoy it, the voice inside repeated to her.
After breakfast Carrie quickly washed the dishes and put them in the drying rack. Duke stared out the window, and when she was ready to go, she put her hand on his arm. “We should get going,” she said.
“You might want to throw a few things in a bag,” he suggested, his face grim. “It looks bad, and we can go in my truck. I’ll bring you home tomorrow, when the roads are better. Or you can take the day off....”
“I took the day off yesterday for the holiday, and there’s still stuff to be done.” She frowned.
“Listen, if you don’t want to stay with me, stay at the house. No obligation. I just don’t want you driving back down here tonight. If the weather clears, I’ll bring you back. I just think you should be prepared.”
“All right, all right.” She went to her room and threw a change of clothes and a basic bag of toiletries into a backpack. She’d driven between the ranch and home lots of times in bad weather and been fine. But then, Joe and Eileen had put her up lots of times, too. How was this different?
The answer to that was painfully obvious. One snowstorm and lines were already being blurred.
Chapter Ten
Quinn was already at the house when they arrived, a full pot of coffee brewed and a bag of day-old pastries on the counter.
He raised an eyebrow when Carrie and Duke showed up together, but Carrie kept her cool and merely remarked, “Duke gave me a ride today in the storm.”
Whether or not Quinn believed her didn’t matter. He went about his business, sitting at the kitchen table with a laptop while Amber sat opposite him, coloring with broad scribbles in a coloring book.
“Hey sweetie,” Carrie said, kissing Amber’s blond head. It smelled like strawberry shampoo. “Whatcha coloring?”
“Flowers,” she answered, scribbling inside a patch of what appeared to be daisies.
“Pretty.”
“I brought her with me rather than drive all the way into town for day care. The roads looked slippery.”
“They were,” Duke said, handing Carrie a coffee fixed the way she liked. Carrie saw Quinn’s gaze on the coffee cup and she felt exposed all over again. Or perhaps he wasn’t thinking anything at all and she was just feeling guilty?
“I thought I’d give Duke a rundown on the plans for next year’s pasture management,” Carrie said. “Unless there’s something else you need done with the stock.”
“The boys were here first thing this morning and looked after things. I sent them home again. I figured Duke and I could handle what needed doing this afternoon.”
“Sure,” Duke answered.
“Want cookies,” Amber announced.
Quinn sighed. “Maybe later, okay, munchkin? How about some cartoons?”
She picked up another crayon. “Then cookies?”
“We’ll see, okay?”
Carrie and Duke made their way to the office, where Carrie booted up the main computer and turned on the space heater. The snow was really piling up, and the coffee was hot and strong. “I know it can be a pain in the behind, but I love the snow. Especially the fluffy, big flakes like right now. It’s kind of magical, don’t you think?”
“There were a lot of years I didn’t get to see snow,” Duke revealed. “A lot of years I wasn’t home for holidays. I enjoyed yesterday. I think I’m going to enjoy being back in Montana for Christmas, too.”