by Tina Leonard
He only looked partially appeased. “And the overtime? Are you having trouble making ends meet? Because I can look at the books, see what I can do there....”
“Duke.” She said his name firmly, embarrassed that he seemed to know she was struggling financially, more embarrassed that he’d offered to maybe give her a raise. He couldn’t do that. She’d feel as if she hadn’t earned it, that she just got it because she was sleeping with the boss...
This was the problem with getting involved with him. Too many gray areas.
She looked right into his eyes so he would be in no doubt of her sincerity. “I love that you offered, but truthfully, I’m a big girl. I can take care of myself. You don’t need to take care of me. I don’t need to be rescued or protected.”
He frowned. “Helping isn’t rescuing.”
“It can be a fine line,” she countered. “And you are helping me, in other ways.” Heck, if he really wanted to help her, he could decide to stay. Take over the ranch. Give them all some stability and peace of mind. Not that she’d say that out loud. She’d promised not to pressure.
He still looked perplexed.
She let out a breath. “Look,” she said, quieter now. “I would rather you let me do things on my own. And then, if I need help, I won’t feel so bad asking. Does that make any sense?”
“Maybe I just recognize that you’ve had to do things on your own for a long time. You’re so independent. Stubborn.”
She knew he meant it in the best possible way, and there was a little stinging behind her eyes. “And that’s very sweet of you. Can we just leave it with the idea that if I need something, I’ll come to you?”
She wouldn’t. Still, it was nice to know she could. If she had to.
“Of course you can.” He pulled her close into a hug. “No matter what happens, I’ll be there for you.”
She wouldn’t cry. She wouldn’t. She wasn’t the crying type. Why on earth did she feel so emotional lately? It had to be the season, and the fact that Duke had opened up a lot of her emotions that she’d held inside. Still, she didn’t need to get all crybaby over it. She sniffed and lifted her chin.
“Okay,” she said, smiling up at him. “So let’s dig out the other stuff and see what we can do.”
Chapter Twelve
Duke was still trying to get in touch with Rylan. He’d left several messages on his brother’s voice mail, but his call hadn’t been returned. Duke waited until after nine at night on the Tuesday following the shopping expedition, hoping to catch Rylan during some downtime. The guy couldn’t avoid him forever.
Or maybe he could. His little brother had always been stubborn. Determined to march to his own drummer. Hence the rodeo career.
The phone rang several times and Duke nearly hung up again when there was a click and an annoyed voice in his ear. “Oh, my God. What do you want, Duke?”
“Nice to talk to you, too, bro.”
A heavy put-upon sigh. “Whatever.”
“Hey. I haven’t seen you in nearly two years. What’s wrong with touching base?”
“Nothing” came Rylan’s agitated reply. “Except it’s not just touching base. You want something. Considering the letter that made its way to me a few weeks ago, I figured not answering was my best strategy.”
So Rylan wasn’t excited about the ranch, either. Of all of them, Duke had thought his brother would be most likely to take to the idea, considering his line of work.
But since Ry was already up in arms about it, Duke figured the less said about Crooked Valley, the better. “Don’t get your panties in a knot,” he said. “I was just calling about Christmas.”
Rylan groaned. “I’m going to Jamaica.”
Duke laughed. “You are not. You’re coming here, to the ranch. The whole family is coming.”
There was a pause. “You’re kidding.”
“Lacey’s already agreed and is coming out on the twenty-third.” He bluffed a little for effect. “And Mom and David are arriving Christmas Eve.”
“You got Mom to agree to go out there? She always hated the ranch.”
Duke didn’t want to out-and-out lie, so he hedged, “It’s the first time we’ll be together as a family over the holidays in how many years?”
There was silence on the other end for a few moments. “Are you actually thinking of staying there, Duke? Taking over your third? I figured we’d all just let it lapse and sell the place. None of us are ranchers. It’s a stupid idea.”
Duke leaned his elbows on the kitchen table. “A month or so ago, I would have agreed with you. It’s grown on me. A pretty steep learning curve, but I’m enjoying it.” It was true. And he owed a lot of that to Carrie. Her enthusiasm and love for the place had rubbed off. “I haven’t made any firm decisions, though. I wanted to give it until after the holidays.”
Rylan sighed again. “Duke, if you want to stay, I don’t know how you’re going to keep it. The will said all three of us had to take our place or it would be sold.”
And it was clear—neither Lacey nor Rylan was interested. “I haven’t figured that out yet.” He frowned. The conundrum wasn’t something new. He’d been thinking of that for a while. The last thing that would work would be asking Lacey and Rylan to take on their part of the ranch. All three of them were hardheaded. If they were interested in Crooked Valley, they were going to have to come to that conclusion on their own.
Or at least think it.
“Look, it’s the first year I’ve been home from deployment in a long time. Surely we can get together for twenty-four hours. Share the holiday. Eat lots. I’m not asking for a lifetime commitment.”
Silence.
“Unless you have other plans?”
“Not anymore,” Rylan admitted, a grudging note in his voice. Interesting.
“Great. Can’t wait to see you, bro.”
“I didn’t say yes yet.”
Duke grinned. “Yeah, you kinda did.”
He clicked off the phone and immediately dialed his mother.
“Hi, Mom.”
“Duke! We were just talking about you.”
“Talking about Christmas I hope. It’s all set.”
“Well...actually, we were wondering about the drive. We don’t want to get caught on bad roads.”
Duke closed his eyes and pressed his fingers to the bridge of his nose. This was why he’d wanted to talk to Rylan first. “Well, we can just watch the forecast. If it’s calling for snow, you could always come up a little early. There’s plenty of room.”
“I don’t know, dear...”
“Lacey’s coming. So’s Ry.”
“Your brother’s coming?” Her voice perked up, just as he’d known it would. Duke might have been gone overseas a lot, but Rylan was the most distant of the kids. Duke had never really understood why.
“We just got off the phone. Lacey’s coming on the twenty-third. I’ve got lights on the house and a wreath and I’m putting the tree up soon. I’ve invited a few guests for Christmas morning, too. Quinn, the ranch manager? He has the cutest little girl. Her mom died a while back and so I’ve invited them to join us. You’ll love her. She’s cute as a button.”
He knew the addition of a child would be a selling point, particularly as none of them had given her grandkids yet.
“You’re sure there’s lots of room?”
“Positive. I’m staying in the bunkhouse, so the big house is here with all the bedrooms you could want.”
“We’ll keep an eye on the weather, then,” she agreed.
“Perfect.” He sat back in his chair. Thank you, Rylan and Amber, he thought, smiling. “I’ll be in touch,” he added, before saying goodbye and hanging up.
The next morning, after the chores were done and everyone set about the day’s duties, Duke pulled Carrie
aside. “You up for a ride on the quad? I need to chop a Christmas tree. You can help me pick it out.”
“Where are you thinking of going? I wanted to check that fence line along the north ridge. I think we’re in for colder weather starting tomorrow. But I was going to ride it, not take the ATV.”
“I figured it would be easier to tow back if we took the quad.”
“You’re probably right.” She smiled up at him. “You’re really going all out for the holidays, aren’t you?”
She had no idea. The call to his mother hadn’t been his last call of the evening, either. “Everyone’s confirmed,” he replied. “I even got Rylan to agree to come. It really is going to be a big family Christmas.” Bigger than anyone even knew.
“Give me an hour? There are a few things I want to finish up here,” she said, and he nodded. He admired her dedication to the ranch and how she always put work first.
“Sure thing. I’ll get the stuff together.”
He walked out of the barn, whistling tunelessly. Yes, it was all coming together, just the way he planned.
* * *
CARRIE TOOK AN inventory of the parts she needed to order for equipment repair. As she scribbled down the supplier and numbers, she couldn’t escape the picture of Duke’s self-satisfied grin. He was up to something. It was driving her crazy, not knowing what.
Randy walked by, his shoulders hunched against the cold. “Hey,” he said stopping in front of her. “Does this mean I’ll be getting my hands good and greasy soon?”
Randy was the best man on the place for mechanical work. He seemed to have a natural aptitude for it and he kept the machinery in tip-top shape. “Yep. I’m just making a list of stuff that needs ordering. You got anything you want to add?” She handed over the clipboard.
He wrote down a few things before handing it back. “That should do it. If I think of anything else, I’ll let you know.”
“Sounds good.”
“So,” Randy said, shifting his feet a little. “You and Duke, huh?”
She froze. Over the past few weeks she’d told herself that the hands had to know she and Duke were seeing each other. They hadn’t been flaunting it, but they hadn’t been running around in secret, either. They’d just been...discreet. And yet she’d been caught by surprise, unprepared to answer questions.
“Sorry. I didn’t know it was a touchy spot.” Randy put up his hands.
“No, it’s okay. It’s nothing serious, Randy. And completely separate from business. Promise.”
“Hey, it’s no biggie. We were just wondering, is all. The way you look at each other. We figured there must be something going on.”
We. As in...everyone. She was embarrassed but also a little ashamed of how it looked. Boinking the boss. Fabulous. The fact that they’d been having sex for three weeks now...
Her heart stopped. Three weeks. That would mean...
Oh, God.
“Hey, are you okay?” Randy’s hand touched her arm. “You went white all of a sudden.”
“Sorry.” She struggled, attempting to smile and feeling as if somehow she was grimacing. “I don’t feel really well at the moment. It just kind of came over me.”
“There’s a flu going around. You running a fever?” To her chagrin, Randy pulled off a glove and stuck his palm to her forehead. “It doesn’t feel like it.”
“I’m okay. I probably just didn’t eat enough this morning,” she answered. “I’m going to go grab something from the fridge.”
“Okay, but you let me know if you’re not feeling right. We can handle things here if you need to take off and go to bed.”
He was being so sweet, despite having pried into personal business. “Thanks,” she said, feeling weepy again. But now she knew her unusual emotional reactions lately could have a very real source. A hormonal source. Because according to her calendar, she was approximately ten days late, and she hadn’t even considered her cycle. That was how distracted she’d been by Duke.
Oh, God.
“Come to think of it, I’m not feeling great. I’ll let Duke know I’m knocking off for the day.”
“You got it. Take care, Carrie.” They both knew how rare it was for Carrie to take a sick day.
With her stomach churning, Carrie made the walk to the bunkhouse, wondering what on earth she was going to say to Duke. She needn’t have worried. He opened the door, saying, “Are you ready to go?”
He then took one look at her face, and followed it up with “What’s wrong?”
She would hold it together. She would. She’d tell him she was sick, and then she’d go home and call Kailey and find out for sure before she launched into a full-on panic.
“I’m actually not feeling well. Randy said they can handle the day’s work. I’m going to go home, if that’s okay.”
His eyes darkened with worry. “Why don’t you stay here? You can rest here and I’ll make you some soup, tea, whatever you want.”
She should have foreseen Duke would be kind like that. It made things more complicated. “I appreciate the offer, but...I think I’d like my own bed.” It was the first time she’d out-and-out lied to him, but how on earth could she say “I’m going for a pregnancy test” to him?
His frown deepened. “Are you sure?”
“You don’t have to look after me, Duke. I’m a big girl, remember?”
“Right.” He took a slight step backward. “Well, I hope you feel better.”
“Sorry about going to get the tree.”
“It’ll keep for a day or two.”
“You can go without me.”
His gaze caught hers and held. “I’d rather wait, if you still want to go.”
He wanted to be with her, spend time with her, and she did, too, only this latest wrinkle could truly put this to the test. It complicated everything. Complicated, hell. It blew it right out of the water.
“Let’s just see how I am in the morning, okay?” It might turn out to be a nonissue anyway. They’d been careful. Chances were she was just having one of those weird months....
“Okay.”
She turned and walked away, not looking back. It was too hard to see his face and still try to wrap her head around the possibility that she could be carrying his child. Having a baby was definitely not in her plans. Not with everything else she had on her plate.
* * *
ONCE SHE WAS home she called Kailey, asking her to come over. Kailey was busy like everyone else, but as soon as Carrie hiccuped over the word emergency, the phone clicked and ten minutes later Kailey was at her door, hair in a ratty braid, smelling like the horse barn.
“What the hell’s going on?” she called, walking through the door without knocking. “Are you all right?”
“I’m in here.” Carrie sat in the living room, cradling a cup of tea. “You want tea? Water’s still hot.”
“Tea? You look more like you need a shot of bourbon. You got any? What happened? Did things go bad with you and Duke? Do I need to go mess him up?”
Carrie wondered if she looked as miserable as she felt when she looked up into Kailey’s face. “Duke’s been wonderful,” she said quietly. “And I’m late.”
Those three words took the wind out of Kailey’s sails, and she dropped to sit on a footstool. “Pregnant? Oh, jeez, Carrie.”
“I know.” She started welling up again and stomped a foot, sloshing a little tea. “I’ve felt fine! I haven’t been sick. But I feel like crying at the worst times! I was watching TV the other night and one of those long-distance commercials came on and I was a blubbering mess. How stupid is that?”
Kailey smiled indulgently. “Getting emotional doesn’t mean you’re knocked up. Honey, have you ever thought that maybe being in love is doing it to you? I love you, but you hold your feelings so close. Now they’
re all coming out, you see?”
She was initially startled that Kailey seemed to read her feelings so well. But perhaps there was some truth to the theory. “That’s not much better, though, is it? This isn’t supposed to be about love!”
“So.” Kailey reached over and took one of Carrie’s hands. “The first thing we’d better do is get you a test. Maybe you have nothing to worry about.”
Carrie sipped at her hot tea. “Are you up for a drive? I don’t want to get the test here in town. It’s like taking out an advertisement. I do not need people speculating about me. About Duke. About us.”
“I’ll do you one better than that. We’ll go to the women’s clinic in the city. Everything’s totally confidential and they’ll do the test while you wait.”
Carrie looked into Kailey’s eyes. “You seem to be very sure of that.”
“I’ve had a scare before.”
“Right.” Carrie swallowed, briefly wondering why this was the first time she was hearing about Kailey’s scare but too concerned with her immediate problem to get into it. “You’re sure it’s confidential?”
“Positive. Come on, get your coat. I’ll drive.”
Carrie went through the motions for the next hour and a half. First the drive, then the wait at the clinic, then peeing in the cup and waiting for the results. When they came, Kailey was sitting beside her.
“Well, Ms. Coulter, it seems your test is positive.”
She looked up in the nurse’s face, the words echoing in her ears. “You’re sure?”
The nurse’s kind eyes softened. “It’s very rare to have a false positive. I take it this wasn’t expected.”
Carrie shook her head, her throat too tight to speak.
“Well, nothing has to be decided right away. When you’re ready, we have referral services for whatever option you might choose for the pregnancy. I know it’s a lot to take in right now, so let’s just go over the basics.”
The nurse gently went over diet, symptoms Carrie might experience in the days to come, the importance of a follow-up appointment and a handful of literature for her to read regarding her options. Kailey helped her make an appointment for the following month and tucked the card with the details in Carrie’s purse. “Come on,” Kailey said softly. “Let’s get you home.”