He nodded solemnly. “Yeah, when Dorky told me I had to come inside you, I about flipped my lid.”
Come inside you.
It sounded so intimate. The ultimate in giving, in accepting. A wild thrill tingled in her belly and shot down between her legs. Whether she wanted it to or not, the idea of his bare cock moving inside her, caressing her deep and spewing hot semen into her—
Oh shit. Her belly fluttered with nerves, and her heart picked up speed. Her mind rebelled but her body loved the idea of him inside her. Naked. Thrusting hard and fast.
She drew in a slow breath. “The risk is too much. You could get me pregnant, and I’m not ready for that responsibility.”
He nodded. “For your safety it’s something that can’t be helped.”
She glared at him. “There has to be another way to solve this.”
His eyes looked sad. “Synna, you know I wouldn’t leave you alone with a baby. If you got pregnant, I’d take responsibility. I’d be a father to the child.”
A wild little image flew through her mind. Ian holding a newborn with love in his eyes. Yes, she could imagine him loving the child they made together, but he didn’t love her. The last thing she wanted was a child born without the parents in a committed and loving relationship.
“It’s not just the idea of becoming pregnant, is it?” His breathing came a little quicker as his chest moved up and down. “Are you frightened by what you feel and the fact we’ve kissed?”
“Of course. If you were me, wouldn’t you be a little concerned?”
“Hell, yes.” He slipped his arms tightly about her waist and yanked her close. One of his hands rode dangerously close to her ass. “I’d wonder if the man with his arms around me just wanted to get into my pants when he’s known me a very short time, when he doesn’t know as much about me as I think he should.”
“Do you want to know me?” A little sadness lurked around the exhilaration of being in his arms. “Really know me?”
“Of course. Body and soul. You said that you trusted me, but it sounds like you don’t.”
She shook her head. “I want to.”
He gave her a killer grin that made her heart ache. “You’re going to make me wait, aren’t you?” He laughed gently and buried his face in her hair. “God, I want you. I’ve never wanted a woman as much as you.”
She almost groaned. She’d started to fall hard for him and didn’t know if his feelings went as deep.
Damn it all, she would get it out in the open and hope for the best. “What do you feel for me?”
He didn’t flinch at the question. His gaze went lambent and furnace hot. “That’s easy. The first day I saw you I was intrigued, then every time we met after that, I wanted to know more and more. I want to know about your life—why you’ve got that cute little stutter.”
Her eyes widened. “Cute? I haven’t stuttered in years. I got over it as a teenager, but the stress lately with this weredemon stuff and you—”
“Me?” He grinned. “I make you stutter?”
“Yes. Sometimes. I’m…whenever I get nervous, even just a little, I stutter. I’ve worked a lot of years to get rid of it and now it’s back.”
“I’m sorry.”
She frowned. “I’ll get rid of it again.”
“I’m sure you will.” He stared at her for a long time before he continued. “I made sure I went to lunch at twelve every day no matter what the hell was going on just to see you. You could say I’ve got a major hard-on for you and it isn’t going away.”
She laughed. “Now that’s the first time a man has ever said that to me.”
“You’ve got to be kidding? Are all the men around here insane?” Unrelenting, he caught her gaze and held steady. “Were you embarrassed when Dorky told you that you have to have sex as a precaution?”
She sighed. “Yes. Sex as a precaution. Unprotected sex, no less. That’s a hell of a note.”
He cupped her face tenderly in a way that made her heart flutter. His callused fingers felt protective as he brushed his thumbs over her cheeks. “I decided I’d convince you that you do have to have sex before the party. And that you shouldn’t have that sex with anyone else but me.”
Chapter Seven
Ian’s statement shouldn’t have surprised Synna, but the absoluteness made her pause. His gaze took her in with sweltering intensity, searching her eyes for the answer. She didn’t know another man she could have sex with, and confessing it would sound pathetic. Ian alone piqued her interest.
“Why do you care if it’s anyone else?” she asked.
“Damn it, Synna, it should be clear by now.” He drew away and scowled. “Hell. I’m taking this too fast. The last thing I want is to frighten you.”
Ian grabbed for his brandy glass, tipped it to his lips, and finished it in one gulp. He placed the glass down on the counter.
“No,” she said. “You don’t frighten me. It’s not…” The words stalled, her throat aching with tension.
“Hey.” His fingers drifted until they touched her throat. “Your pulse is going too fast. What’s wrong?”
How could she explain? “I’m edgy. You scare me, all right, but not the way you think. I know you wouldn’t hurt me physically.”
That’s it. That’s what will make him turn around and run. If I tell him too much information. If I explain I can only make love with him if we have a commitment. Most men would stampede away so fast.
Her silence didn’t move Ian. He stayed planted in front of her, his nearness like a brand, burning into her in a way she would still remember as an old woman.
When he opened his mouth to speak, she impulsively covered his firm lips with two fingers.
“I’m scared of letting you so far into my heart. I’m not the kind of woman who can have fun in bed with a man I barely know, Ian. My heart has to be involved.”
His mouth tightened, and the rubbing of his lips under her finger pads sent curls of desire to her stomach. She pulled her hand away. God. The man could do almost nothing, nothing at all, and affect her on so many levels. Her emotions rolled from pleasure to sadness. Out of control, her body refused to take commands from common sense saying she shouldn’t respond and shouldn’t get involved any deeper with him or the weredemon situation. She should walk away now before her heart and mind became fully entrenched.
He reached up and trapped her fingers against his mouth, and kissed them softly. He drew her hand into both of his and held it against his chest. Exasperation etched his features into a deep frown. Good. Maybe she’d turned him off sufficiently. The satisfaction she expected to feel didn’t materialize. A dull ache formed in her stomach. Silence stretched like a rubber band she feared would snap in her face.
“What are you hiding?” His voice held raw emotion, and concentrated need to understand.
“It’s simple,” she said in defense. “Don’t tell me you’ve never heard of the concept of not sleeping around.”
“Damn it, Synna.” His voice went deadly soft. “I never asked you to sleep around. I asked you to have sex with me. Only me.”
Despite the consternation turning his eyes a deeper indigo, tenderness in his touch belied the fierceness in his eyes.
“I-I’m not who you think I am,” she said.
“What do you mean?”
“I started in the SIA all those years ago because of something that happened in my family when I was young.”
She pulled her hand from his and turned toward the counter and her brandy. She took a hit from her glass and savored the heat and mellow taste as it slid down her throat. Keeping her hands cupped around the bowl of her brandy glass, she turned back to him. Revealing the truth inch by inch would be harder than facing Ian’s unrelenting scrutiny. The glass acted as a shield, no matter how small.
“Tell me, Synna. I’m listening.”
Have I made a huge mistake?
Ian watched her eyes, their normal reserve thawing as she unleashed emotion. He might not have extraordina
ry psychic capabilities, but he’d always read people with ease. Tonight, Synna didn’t have her guard up as well as she usually did. The signs were all there. Eyes averted to a space somewhere beyond his shoulder, her gaze took on a pensive, almost moody disposition.
“Tell me.” He refused to back away until he’d unraveled her mysteries. “I need to understand.”
She shook her head and her hair tumbled, a silky maple blanket around her shoulders. He wanted to touch it, to know the texture. He tightened his hands into fists at his sides.
Did her hand tremble as she took another sip of brandy? “After my father died, my mother had a breakdown. Everything went wrong. I was working at the local college as a secretary and getting my degree in Art. I let that drop to help my mother.”
“Your sister didn’t help?”
“No. She said she was too busy with other things. I struggled to help my mother keep my parents’ printing business open. A year later Mom died, and I closed the business entirely—sold it off. I didn’t crack up after my father or mother died, but when I tried to go back to my art…”
She inhaled, and her eyes became suspiciously bright. Tension seemed to draw her shoulders up higher, as if she wanted to hunch into herself and disappear. She put the brandy glass back on the counter. He cupped her shoulders and she stiffened.
Shit, he hated having this effect on her. “It’s okay. Don’t stop now.”
Synna didn’t look at him, but as he rubbed her shoulders, her delicately shaped body started to relax.
“I was a sculptor. A pretty fair one. At least the reviews were good and my professors liked my work.”
“And?” He couldn’t resist brushing hair away from her forehead.
“I guess I’d been away from it too long. Those months, dealing with my parents and their deaths—it drained me down to nothing. I stumbled along but couldn’t return to the flow. It was like I’d never created before and didn’t have the talent to start with.”
Her words sounded forced, her voice strained and hurting. Her throat worked as she closed her eyes.
Ian waited, his gut and soul aching for her. “You held your grief inside trying to keep everything together for everyone else. You sacrificed until you had nothing left to give.”
She opened her eyes, and when tears shimmered there, he pulled her against his body lightly. It broke him to see the pain and uncertainty in her beautiful eyes.
Rubbing her back with a cadence he hoped she found soothing, he urged her to continue. “Then the SIA came along?”
“I applied and got the job. I gave up on the career I’d wanted for something safer and more certain. I was tired of change and opening up a vein for my art.”
Words and sympathy came easily. “You abandoned your art for so long.”
“It wasn’t my parents’ death that stopped me. Don’t get me wrong, I know I gave up on myself. I listened to years of training from my family. They wanted me to be practical and do what it took to make money and survive.”
“You could have done it as a hobby.”
She nodded. “Of course. And I knew the minute I touched that clay, I’d want to do it full-time. I’d eventually be inspired and need it like the air I breathe. Finally, a few months ago, I tried to sculpt again.”
Delight and exuberance returned to her eyes as she looked up at him. Ian loved the sparkle, the undeniable joy replacing regret, and it made him want her even more. He kept his arms around her.
“It was heaven,” she said. “One night I worked for five hours straight without much of a break. It was one of the best feelings I’ve ever experienced.”
“You’re quitting SIA because you want to restart the career you gave up all those years ago. Right?”
Nodding slowly, she said, “I decided to take a risk. I decided to stop wallowing in a dull certainty.”
While he’d always admired her, more appreciation grew inside him. Her intellect, her tenderness, her good heart stirred his cock as well as his soul. “That’s wonderful, Synna. Do you know how few people follow their dreams?”
“Yes.”
Synna couldn’t believe the wash of security flowing through her as she realized he really did understand her. She felt it in her bones, in her blood, in her heart.
As he drew her nearer, his voice became sensual velvet against her ears. “Whenever I’m in the same room with you I can’t think of anyone or anything else. You’re becoming an obsession.”
Indignation mixed with awe. “Are you saying I’m keeping you from doing your job?”
“Yes and no.”
Involuntarily, her fingers smoothed over his chest. “W-which is it?”
His lips trailed over her forehead, hot and gentle. “I’m so confused I don’t know which way is up, Synna. I started this job full of confidence, and now you’re in the picture and my world is upside down.”
It took her a long time to find her next words. “You’ve dealt with weredemons before when you were with Alpha Unit?”
“Yes.”
“Then why is this case so difficult?”
“It’s not the weredemons so much. It’s worrying about you and wanting you. My body goes out of control, and I want to hold you. Kiss you.” He whispered in her ear. “Fuck you.”
Desire sizzled along nerve endings she never realized she owned. A long, deep shiver heated her body. She must say something in last defense before his nearness and touch wiped all common sense from her head. “I’ve waited so long to become a sculptor. I don’t want to lose that dream again.”
“I know,” he said tenderly. “No matter what happens, you’re an artist, and that isn’t going to change. You’ll sculpt and enjoy the career you’ve always wanted. I promise you.”
“How can you promise me that? How?”
“Because I won’t let you give up on it. Ever. Your happiness means so much to me.” Ian’s breath brushed against the side of her neck as he nuzzled her, his palms sliding up and down her back with gentle pressure. “I ache inside. I thought back to the last time I felt this type of desire this strongly.” He drew back and looked deep into her eyes. “You’ve surprised me, taken me by storm.”
Dazzled by his admiration, and feeling deep down that he meant every word, her fears started to ease. She leaned into him and gathered strength and reassurance from his authoritative presence, enjoying the electricity she felt pressed along the strong, hard length of his muscles. Hip to hip, breathing in his manly scent, she felt cared for and protected. As his lips touched her neck, she absorbed the sensual enjoyment. Her hands fisted in his sweater. The soft, springy texture and the solidness of his body comforted her.
His fingers tangled in her hair, massaging the back of her neck with gentle persistence. Heat and sincerity smoldered deep in his mysterious eyes.
“Every time I see you, my body reacts. I get a hard-on that about cuts a hole through my pants. I want to drag you off like a caveman, rip away your panties, lift you up against a wall, and fuck until I can’t stand upright.” Passion thickened his tone. “Then I want to get you naked, lie with you on the bed and fuck for hours.”
Oh my.
Her breathing increased, her pulse racing under the onslaught of his erotic statements.
“Synna,” his voice turned huskier, passion heating his tone, “you want me to tell you that I’m falling hard and fast for you? That I’m so damned upset about you being with Tyler that it makes me sick? Well, it’s true.”
Her heart tripped over, starting a fast beat. Feeling more than a little breathless, she slipped her arms around his neck. “My God, Ian, t-that’s amazing.”
His lips trailed across her cheek until they reached her right ear. Nuzzling delicate, sensitive skin, his hot breath made her quiver. “Amazing as in you can’t wait to do it?”
His lips caressed her nose in a little kiss, then pressed a hotter taste to her forehead. The suggestive tone in his voice and the visuals he’d painted started a chain reaction of wildfire passion in her body.
Make love for hours? Her body ached to know his, to feel a wild, screaming orgasm. What would it be like to lie under his hard, big body and feel the thick, naked length of his cock sliding in and out? What would it be like with his cock hammering in and out of her as he took her up against the wall? Either way, the visualization sent her into a serious meltdown.
How could she deny what she must do to save herself, and what she must do to live life to its fullest in case everything on Halloween night went to hell?
She couldn’t reject him again. Didn’t want to reject him again.
“If that isn’t what you want, if you don’t feel like I do, tell me now and I’ll figure out some other way to keep you safe.” He raked his fingers through her hair. “But, God, I want to kiss you. I want to—”
“Shut up,” she said with a smile, her body and heart decided.
She threw away last caution, his convincing statements more than enough to stave off that last hesitation.
He smiled. “What?”
“You heard what I said.” She reached up, plunged her fingers into his tumble of thick hair, and drew him down for a kiss.
As his mouth plundered hers without remorse, she dove into a new, sensual world. His tongue plunged deep, ravenous and intent. Banked tension rippled in his muscles as his arms tightened around her.
She broke from the kiss, released his hair, and took his hand to lead him upstairs to the bedroom. Nerves left her, the excitement she felt overruled by languorous desire. When she reached her bedroom, she pushed the dimmer switch, then turned it to diffuse the light.
Without hesitation, she drew him toward the dark wood king-sized sleigh bed. An emerald green velvet comforter covered the high, thick mattress. Several decorative pillows added luxurious comfort. Releasing his hand, she drew back the comforter with a flick of her wrist.
She turned to Ian and reached for the zipper on her fleece robe. She paused, a self-conscious smile on her lips. “This isn’t exactly the sexiest attire I’ve ever worn.”
An answering grin, irreverent and accepting, brought good humor to his eyes. His fingers trapped hers, then gently drew them away from the zipper. “You look wonderful in anything. You could be wearing a fucking burlap sack and you’d turn me on.”
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