by Kitty Berry
Mac leans over me and presses his lips against mine. I open my mouth allowing his tongue entry. He is more erect then I have ever seen, it is angry looking and in desperate need of another release. Even in his condition he manages to slowly enter me being careful not to hurt me at first. He moans into my mouth when he is completely inside of me. The felling of fullness is causing my no longer ignored muscles to awaken. My insides begin to burn with the familiar building sensation.
“You have no idea how good you feel to me right now. My. God. Baby.” He moans with each pump into me. “I’m ruined from this moment on. It has never felt like this before, not ever. Fuck!”
Mac picks up his pace increasing the feeling of fullness mixed with friction and it’s beyond wonderful. His penis is rubbing against my G-spot while thrusting into me and his finger starts to make circles around my clitoris. When he lowers his head and takes my nipple into his mouth I fall head first into my second orgasm. The clenching of my orgasm forces Mac to move faster and cry out, “Fuck. Brook. I’m. Going. To. Fucking. Come. Inside. Of. You.” as he comes deep inside of my throbbing body.
We don’t move for a long time. Mac stays inside of me until his erection completely subsides then Mac rolls off of me and pulls me into his arms where I lay with my head on his chest feeling it raise and lower under me. We don’t speak. I can hear his breathing start to return to normal along with my own and I can feel his heart beat and mine begin to synchronize. Just as I am settling in for some much need post coital slumber I hear a noise in the house and Mac is on his feet pulling on his shorts without boxers and grabbing his gun.
“Stay right here and don’t move. Do you hear me? Stay in here and lock the door when I walk out” he whispers to me. “I don’t care what you hear from out there, don’t come out. Keep the door locked and stay here until I tell you.”
I do as he says even though I don’t want him in danger or to be in a room where he isn’t if I’m in danger. Within a few seconds of him leaving the room the house lights go on and then I hear Mac talking and when I hear him laugh out loud I know we are safe.
“Brook” he calls from the living space. “Come in here, baby, its safe.”
Thank goodness I heard him talking to someone and I don’t go out there naked. I throw on my clothes and try to fix my “just been fucked and good” hair as best as I could but I know that I cannot hide the activities that just took place, they are written all over my face, all over my body. My hair is wild, my cheeks are flushed and I have this enormous grin on my face that even fear wasn’t successful in wiping off.
When I step out into the main living space I see Mac hugging a stunningly attractive blond. She is almost as tall as he is in her heels and it’s clear that they share a deep fondness for each other. I feel sick to my stomach wondering if this is an ex-lover as her hands skim across his bare chest. I continue to grow more ill until I see a man that can only be Jonesie smiling at me, clearly aware of my growing feelings for his friend. He is as tall and as wide as Mac, he has blond hair that he wears tight to his head. He continues to smile at me while he walks towards me before pulling me into a bear hug. Mac notices and breaks his embrace with Jonesie’s wife and comes to my side to introduce me to them.
“Brook, this is Jonesie and his wife Tara. Guys, this is Brook.”
We all shake hands and share pleasantries then have a good laugh when Mac explains that when Jonesie arrived home and saw the lights out he thought we were out so he came in to turn on the generator so we wouldn’t have to come home to a dark house. “It almost got him killed” Mac half jokes.
We decide to call it a night with promises of getting to know each other in the morning. Jonesie agrees to work out with us but Tara just laughs and tells me I’m nuts. We make plans to have lunch all together instead.
The day after Jonesie and Tara arrive Jonesie works out with Brook, Sven and I. It’s great to be back in his company again. He has always been a mentor and a friend to me, even in my darkest hours. We fool around like school boys and piss Sven off. Because he’s outnumbered his only source of retaliation against me lies in Brook. Sven makes sure to gently place his hands on her any and every chance he gets. It only pisses me off worse, making me want to rip his limbs from his body. When he leans over Brook from behind while she’s in downward dog I finally give in and knock off the nonsense with Jonesie to focus on my yoga. That’s when Jonesie realizes something is different. Until that moment I know he was thinking that Brook was yet another girl I was taking to bed for a few good fucks before moving on to something or someone else. After the look he saw on my face and the reaction Sven got from me he knows she’s more to me than that.
“We need to talk dude, as soon as we’re done here. Understand?” Jonesie asks.
“Yeah, later. I have all I can do right now to stretch and keep an eye on that shit” I respond and nod to Sven who is once again helping Brook to stretch even farther. For no reason I might add as she is the most flexible human being on the planet, he couldn’t make her stretch further if she was made of elastics.
We finish our workout and Brook tells me she’s going to her room to shower. She looks confused, like she’s debating whether she should kiss me or not. I decide that maybe it’s time to “mark my territory” as they say. I walk over to her and take her into my arms. I grab her by the nape of her neck with one hand and pull her into me by the waist with the other as my lips search for hers. She looks up at me and her lips find mine. It’s her tongue that goes in search of mine first and I feel her hands run over my head and land at the back of my neck. We break apart and stare at each other both a little dazed and confused. I smile at her, give her ass a quick slap and watch as she walks out the door.
“Get a fucking room man” Sven mumbles as he slaps me on the back and follows Brook out of the room. I can already feel Jonesie’s stare burning into my back.
“Let’s hit the showers, we can talk in there. I’m taking a warm one but I think you should turn yours all the way to cold!” Jonesie jokes.
The next few weeks are filled with the kind of bliss you can only know with a new lover. Mac and I hold hands everywhere we go. Tara and Jonesie are wonderful to be with, they’re fun and affectionate with each other but they tease Mac and I any time we touch, which is all the time. We spend all day and all night with them. In the days they take us sightseeing, to the movies, out to lunch or we just hang out in the house or on the beach. At night we go to dinner with them or cook out on the deck.
One night they take us to a dance club.
“I can’t wait to see the famous Brook Taylor in action” Tara says. “I love the videos you choreograph and I can’t wait to steal a move or two from you.”
We are able to jump the line and get right in. The guys lead us to a table next to the dance floor and when they return they have smirks on their faces. A waitress isn’t far behind them carrying a tray with beers, shots and mixed drinks. This is going to be a night to remember, the only problem is if I drink that much I won’t remember a thing.
We start off doing a few shots. I can only manage two; the rest of the table drinks their five and then shares my other three. The beers go down like water after the shots and when the first beats of “I Will Survive” come on Mac looks my way and smirks.
“The dance floor is all yours my queen. You’ve earned this song.”
I look at the dance floor and he’s right, it’s clear. He must have done something to pull this off. I shake my head at him and pull them all with me to the center of the floor where we dance and laugh together. When the song changes the boys head back to the table. They kiss Tara and me on the cheek and telling us to break a leg. We dance to a couple of songs before the alcohol hits me hard. By the third song I am swaying on my feet. When Mac comes up behind me and lifts my arms over my head I am glad to have his body for support. I rest my head back on his chest. That’s when I realize it’s not Mac. The chest my head is on is not as defined or as large as Mac’s. The hands t
hat are now reaching around my stomach pulling me into his body are not Mac’s; the small erect penis that is pushing into my back is certainly not Mac’s. I am too intoxicated to move fast enough and Tara doesn’t seem to be processing what’s happening any faster than I am. Mac clearly doesn’t have the same problem; he is in front of me with a look of a killer in his eyes.
“Walk away while you still have the use of your legs” Mac says very calmly as he pulls me into his arms. Thankfully the guy does as he’s told and Tara and I start to laugh.
“Okay girls, maybe it’s time to sit a few out and get your sea legs back” Jonesie says while leading us back to our table. The waitress brings us some waters and Tara and I greedily gulp each of ours right down. We sit and chat until a slow song comes on and the boys ask us to dance. Mac has to support my body; I can barely stand on my own. I am so drunk but I have had the best time with my new friends.
It’s the first night since the first time we made love that we don’t have sex. Instead we spend our night in the bathroom. I am on hands and knees puking into the toilet while Mac is holding my hair and flushing after each stomach spasm. When I have purged everything in my body he carries me to his bed and places me under the covers. He kisses me softly on the forehead and spoons himself around me. I sleep a fitful sleep that night, tossing and turning in his arms.
The letter from Tate arrives in the mail the following day. I stare at it for hours and refuse to open it. I refuse to open it all day and for three days after that. I finally get the courage to open it on the fourth day. I know it hurts Mac when he sees me take it into my bedroom and close the door. I don’t want to hurt him but I have to be alone to read this. I think about turning on some music but then think better of it.
I open the large manila envelope and first remove the CD that I knew would be in there. I put it aside and remove the letter that is written on Taylor Studios letterhead. I unfold it and just stare at the words, not reading them for a long time. When I finally force my eyes to focus and my mind to process I sink down on the floor and begin to read.
My Dearest Brooklynn,
First allow me to say that there will never be words or songs created to express myself properly to you in this moment. I will not make excuses to you or lie any longer. I will tell you that I am sorry for hurting you, I am sorry for everything I have done.
Thank you for letting me know that you are safe. I assumed correctly that you have taken Mac on as your body guard, I’m glad to know you have someone well trained looking after you. I am confused as to why you are in hiding and not telling anyone where you are. Are you fucking someone? Have you been all along?
I’m sorry, you don’t deserve that. When I stop and think about it, you’ve never done anything to make me not trust you. It has always been my guilty conscience projecting guilt onto you. You are right not to be surprised by my infidelity. I am sick to have to admit to you that it has been going on for a long time. But please know that not one other girl ever meant a thing to me. They were always the worse experiences of my life and after the guilt would eat me alive. I have no explanation for why I did what I did, I can only say I regret every minute of it and if I could go back and change things I would. If you would consider giving me another chance I promise I would change, I would never stray again.
Please listen to the enclosed CD, as you said in your letter we have always communicated best through music. I know you are angry and hurt and don’t want to see me just yet but I will not give you up without a fight. I am sorry for causing you pain and I mean it when I say that I want you to be happy but I don’t believe that you can be happy without me. That is why I will not sign the divorce papers until you agree to meet with me face to face.
I will contact your lawyer in the near future to set our meeting up. I will never hurt you again if you give me another chance. I won't desert you. Please don’t leave me, don’t say goodbye. I love you Brooklynn Taylor.
Yours forever and you are MINE FOREVER,
Tater Tot
I grab the CD and run from my room with tears streaming down my face clouding my vision dropping the letter from Tate on my bedroom floor in my wake. I run past Mac wordlessly and go to the studio. I rip my t-shirt over my head and throw the CD into the player. I am standing in my sports bra and shorts looking at myself in the floor to ceiling mirrors and I have no idea who that is looking back at me. I know it’s my reflection but I no longer have any idea who I am, who I will become and how.
When “Better That We Break” plays and I hear Adam Levine singing I crash to the floor in a heap and sob like a wild animal. My ears are assaulted next by “Rehab” and I’m unable to catch my breath. I felt like Tate was my best friend and my lover all rolled into one until the day my world crashed in on me. When did he stop feeling that way about me? Did he stop? Did he ever really truly feel like that at all? I can’t trust anything anymore, not words, not feelings. I rise to my feet without realizing what I’m doing. I start to move slowly at first but then the music takes me away. I don’t hear the door open or see Mac walk in as “The Scientist” starts. With tears rolling down my face I continue to move through my pain.
“I Don’t Want to Lose You” really says it all to me. I have to accept who Tate is. I understand now even if it’s not the meaning he’s trying to send that he’s not going to change. I need to be the one to walk away and stay away. I can’t let him back into my life or he’ll do the same thing to me over and over again. He won’t change no matter how much he may want to.
I notice Mac standing in the doorway holding Tate’s letter as “I’m Not Giving You Up” begins and I lose it when our eyes lock. I know Tate means these words, he expects me to forgive him for what he’s done like it was just a misunderstanding between us. He’s not going to accept that I am walking away, giving him up. He will never allow me to be happy with another man, with Mac. Tate will make sure to make things as difficult as possible if he knows I’m with Mac. My mind begins to think that I’ll be forced to walk away from them both, first Mac then Tate or Tate will never let me be.
By the last two songs I’m not even thinking of Tate, I’m crying over the fear of walking away from Mac so I can get away from Tate. Mac approaches me and I put my hands on his beautiful face.
“Take me to your room, please. Make love to me. I need to forget my past…Tate, all of it. Please Mac I need you right now, my future, please. I am so scared of losing you just when I’ve realized that I’ve fallen in love with you. I love you, Tony Macintosh, I love you” I lock my lips on Mac knowing I will break his heart soon when I leave him. I just hope he’ll take me back after I do what needs to be done.
“I love you to Brook Taylor.”
“Brook Adams, Taylor is Tate’s name. That’s not me anymore, that’s my past. I don’t want that, I want my future.”
“Do you see me as your future? Maybe you as Brook Macintosh?” Mac inquires.
I tell him that when I think about my future I see him there, I hope he’s there. At my words Mac locks his lips to mine and as our kiss grows more passionate I know he will not be taking me to his bed, instead he’s going to have me right here on the floor of the gym.
I am overjoyed to hear Brook tell me she’s in love with me. When I kiss her and begin to process the words we just said to each other for the first time, words I have never said or felt for another woman, my insides begin to burn and I need her now. I told her from the start that she would never be like the other women I was with; I told her I would never fuck her. I meant those words so even now when I take her hard and fast, even though to anyone watching it would look like a fuck I am making love to the only woman I have ever loved.
I don’t even bother to take off her sports bra or my clothes. I just take my throbbing dick out of my shorts with one hand as I tug her shorts down with the other. I am inside her thrusting deep, fast and hard. I bite her neck, her stomach. She is clawing at me, in need of it just as hard and deep as I am. When she begins to lift her h
ips meeting me thrust for thrust I know she’s about to come. When I feel her pussy get wetter and clench me I lose it with her. I clench my jaw and moan her name as she digs her nails in my back thrashing under me.
I lift Brook up into my arms and carry her into the gym shower. I turn on the water and walk under the spray as I peel off Brook’s now soaking wet sports bra, her shorts were kicked off as I lifted her into my arms as were mine. I look at her tear stained face with the water at my back as she pulls my shirt over my head and runs her hands over my chest and arms. She pauses at my nipples making circles around them before nipping them with her teeth. She slides down my body and takes me into her mouth sucking herself off me. I am instantly hard and in dire need to be inside her again. I pull her up by her shoulders and put her against the shower wall. I brace myself with one arm on the wall while I lift her leg with the other. As I rub my hand up her thigh she wraps her leg around my hip. My mouth finds hers and she moans into my mouth causing a seductive vibration to run to my core. She pushes my ass, pushing me inside her again. Her pussy is slippery from her continual arousal making it easy to slide inside of her. She wraps her hands around the top of my head and lifts herself onto me. Both of her legs are wrapped around my hips while her back is pressed against the wall, all while keeping me inside of her. She doesn’t dare move her hips in fear of it coming to an end way too fast. I understand her need for this to last, I have the same need. I keep my hips as still as I can while I kiss away her tears. I kiss her eyes, lick her cheeks. Brook takes my face in her hands and pulls back so she can study my face. That’s when I know what she’s thinking. She’s trying to memorize my face because she’s planning on saying good-bye. I look at her with a quizzical look on my face while I slowly process what she could be thinking.