by Kitty Berry
Jonesie leads us still wet and dripping water though my bedroom where the floor is stained a dark red from all the blood. I notice my bed is messed up and covered in blood too. There are government people in every space of the house. They all met Mac’s eyes as we walk by. Mac has me held tight to his side with his arm around my waist. He is not wearing a shirt and all I have on is his shirt.
“Keep telling me what happened” Mac demands as we walk over to Jonesie’s house.
“You know the rest, that’s when you came in”
“I know but you need to process it, tell me”
“When I screamed your name…that’s when the guy smacked me across the face. He didn’t punch me but it stung and I started to cry and then I couldn’t stop.”
“Let me see your face. Where did he hit you that mother fucker? God, how the fuck do you hit a hundred pound woman?”
I show Mac my face and he kisses the spot that still stings and has a red hand print still on it then he makes me continue.
“Then the bigger one held me around my chest and the other one let my legs go. I felt his hands on my shorts and I knew he was going to pull them down and I was so afraid I just kicked him. I tried to fling my head back to get the other one but it didn’t work. He flung me down on the bed and held me down with his legs. He ripped my shirt off. Then he went for my shorts. That’s when you came in. You saved me Mac. You saved me.”
Brook changed after the attack a few weeks ago. She won’t let me out of her sight or reach, where a few weeks ago she didn’t want to be touched or to touch me now she insists on always having physical contact with me as much as she can. She even makes me shower with her which I am not complaining about. She did agree to speak to a therapist and she makes me stay in the room for those sessions. She is back to working out with Sven, Jonesie and I and she makes me sit with her in her studio when she dances. She claims music and dance are the only ways she knows how to work through her feelings.
We stayed in the main house with Jonesie and Tara for a few nights but Brook’s therapist said it would be best for us to get back to normal as much as possible so we went back to the guest house; Brook stays as far away from her old room as possible.
At first I was afraid to approach her sexually. I didn’t want to bring back the memory of some thug ripping her clothes off. But the first night back in the guest house she approached me.
“Why haven’t you tried to have sex with me? Do you not want me after what happened?”she asked me.
“Oh, God. No, Brook. I’m dying over here I want you so bad. I just didn’t know if you were ready yet. I didn’t want to upset you.”
She gently lays on me and runs her hands up my shirt so she can rub my chest. I pull her lips to mine and gently begin to kiss her. My hands creep up the back of her shirt; I’m delighted that she doesn’t have on a bra. I slowly slide her shirt off carefully keeping an eye on her for her reaction.
She smiles at me, “I’m fine Mac, please. You, this, it’s nothing like that night. This doesn’t make me think of it. Please, I need you. I need you to want me still.”
I sit up and take off my own shirt and when I grab her for a kiss this time I am more forceful. My tongue explores her mouth and I playfully nip at her lips with my teeth. Her breathing is becoming as heated as mine. My dick is fighting to get out of my shorts and when she runs her hand down my stomach I can’t help but moan. She looks down to see me straining against my zipper so she takes mercy on me, undoes my shorts and pulls them off. I wrap her hair around my hand as she licks her lips. She lowers her head into my lap and I can feel her tongue on my thigh. She teases me by licking my thigh then circles around my belly button before flicking the head of my dick with her tongue making it bounce looking for more attention. I gently guide her head further down my cock, encouraging her to lick it from the tip to the base and she does even better. When she reaches the base she slides one then both of my hard engorged balls into her mouth making my eyes roll into the back of my head, it feels so good. I pull her back up onto my body and kiss her again as I flip her over. I keep eye contact with her as I take off her yoga pants. She is wearing my favorite black boy shorts that make me want to bite her ass. She knows what I’m thinking and she rolls over so I can see her ass in them. I run my hands from the back of her knees up to her ass. I firmly grab a cheek in each hand and squeeze before letting go. I lower my head and bite one of her cheeks then slap the other. After I slap her ass I instantly think that maybe I shouldn’t have but she starts wiggling on the bed and a sound of pleasure escapes her. She looks back at me with a smirk on her face. “Do that again. I’ve been a naughty girl” she playfully teases and I oblige with four more smacks before pulling her boy shorts off. I am so turned on I can’t wait till she rolls over, I enter her from behind while she’s still laying flat on the bed face down. I ease her up on her hands and knees and manage to ask if it’s okay. She flings her head back and moans so I take that as a yes and begin thrusting as deeply into her as I can get.
“Ah…Mac. Yes. More. Harder.”
I pull back and take my dick almost all the way out of her and hold still. I wait for her to beg for more and I don’t have to wait for long.
“More, I need more, Mac, please” she begs.
I push back into her fast and hard over and over again, making her need for an orgasm to build to an all-time high. I continue to tease her and make her beg until I feel her right on that edge. I know she’s about to come which will also be my undoing so this time when I pull out I take it all the way out and wait for her to beg some more.
“Jesus, Mac you’re driving me insane. Please.”
“That’s it beautiful, beg me for more, baby” I demand.
While I’m waiting I move off the bed and stand, pulling her body to the edge of the bed. When she begs for more I’m able to get even deeper inside her and I am rewarded with her pussy’s strangle hold on my dick. She’s even wetter now and thrashing on the bed in the midst of her orgasm. I lift her ass cheeks in the palms of my hands and thrust a few more times as I explode deep inside of her. I collapse on her back and we end up in a mass of tangled limbs, hair and sweat, that’s how we remain for the rest of the night.
The following morning when the alarm goes off I nuzzle Brook’s warm body closer to me and rub my nose to hers waking her up. We rise and dress then meet Sven and Jonesie for our workout.
“Hey darling, you look happy this morning” Jonesie says to Brook when he sees her in her black shorts and half shirt and hair piled high on her head.
We run on the beach, do our yoga then head into the gym for a session of Krav Maga. Brook and I shower in my shower while Sven uses the one in the gym and Jonesie goes home to clean up. Brook’s therapist arrives shortly after we come out of the shower.
Brook talks with her about Tate and their situation and she advises Brook that she needs to get closure and as soon as possible. Brook looks at me with the weight of the world on her shoulders.
“I think I need to go back. I’m not ready to see Tate just yet. I want to establish myself on my own first. I’ve been working on some ideas for a new workshop. If I can get some studio space and let a few key dancers know what I’m up to I think I can pull it off. I want to be able to go to Tate already standing on my own two feet.”
“We can go whenever you want. That’s if you want me to go with you. I mean if you don’t I can arrange for you to go alone. It’s just I want…”
“I want you to come with me Mac, I need you to come. I want to be in the city. We’ll have to get a place.”
I tell her that we’ll rent a place and get her a studio to use then when she’s ready we’ll make a plan for her to contact Tate.
I told Mac I was ready to go to New York and start my new workshop and he agreed to come with me. We’ve been doing some research on the internet and I contacted my brother Michael and asked him to go scout out the three studio spaces I’ve narrowed it down to as well as the apartments we have our e
yes on. Michael and I spoke for hours about everything and he agreed to keep it all a secret from Tate, who he still works for. When I hung up with Michael I felt guilt for not also calling my sister but she would have to wait for another day. I didn’t have it in me to tell the story again today.
It is getting dark by the time Michael and I hang up and Mac is out on the deck lighting the grill. I head into our bedroom, ever since that night of the attack Mac and I have been sharing a room. I have yet to step near my old room again. Mac took all of my stuff out of there and brought it into his room so I wouldn’t have to go back in there. I grab a sweatshirt and pull it over my head. It’s warm and cozy and smells of Mac and fire, it’s the one he had on last night out on the beach while we sat by the fire. When I walk out onto the deck Jonesie and Tara are looking relaxed, drinking a beer with Mac who is in heaven cooking steaks on the grill.
We have a great night drinking wine and beer, eating steaks, and sharing each other’s company. I’m going to miss these nights when Mac and I leave. New York City will be such a change from this paradise I now think of as home.
Mac and I tell them about our plans to leave. We promise to come back for a visit very soon and invite them to the city as soon as we’re settled. I don’t know why but I start crying when Tara hugs me, I’ve been so emotional lately I can’t help myself.
Over the next few weeks Mac and I finalize our New York residence and my studio space. I contact my assistant, Heidi and I’m thrilled to learn that she’d be more than happy to work with me again even though I just mysteriously fell off the face off the earth for close to a year. She promises to keep our new workshop under the radar but to also get our key dancers on board. I spend all day every day in the studio working on the stories and the choreography. I need this to be perfect.
One day leading up to our departure when Mac is still down in the gym I get brave and go into my old room to double check that I won’t leave anything behind. The memories of that night hit me hard and I’m unable to move. The whole scene plays before my eyes…I’m scared, being held down, my clothes coming off. Then I see Mac with a gun and the blood all over me. I force myself to snap back to reality and complete the task I came in here for. I open the closet door and find it empty. I go into the bathroom and look through each and every drawer, the shower, the cabinet under the vanity. Everything is empty. I go back into the bedroom and my eye hits the night stand by my bed and I freeze again. This time remembering what’s inside there, what Mac forgot to bring to his room, what I have forgotten about for how long? Months. I slowly walk over and open the drawer and there they are on a magazine, my birth control pills marking the night of the attack, the last night I took one. It’s all becoming very clear to me, the crying, and the emotional roller coaster I’ve been attributing to the attack, the sore breasts I’ve been explaining away with too much activity. I start trying to remember the last time I had my period. I’ve never been very regular and I just thought with the stress of the attack that it affected my cycle. Now I think there may be another reason I haven’t had my period in ages, I think I might be pregnant!
I quickly check to be sure Mac is still down in the gym before I fish for my new iPhone and text Tara: OMG! I need 2 go 2 store. Can u come? SHHH! I need a PG test…fuck
She texts me back; but I don’t get it until she’s already on the back deck with a huge smile spread across her face. Her text reads: YEAH! I hope u r…u & M deserve 2 b happy & I want u 2 2gether 4ever
I open the slider and she hugs me like I might break. I promise to explain everything on the way. I scribble a quick note to Mac and tape it to the bedroom door where I know he’ll see it. Tara and I run out of the house and I tell her the whole story about the pills and how I forgot. I was in such a state after the attack that I just didn’t even think about them, I just completely forgot about them the first few nights staying in the main house. Then Mac brought me back to the guest house but we stayed in his room. He brought me all my stuff but didn’t know that he forgot my pills, or did he? I wonder but Tara and I decide that he’s not that kind of guy, he wouldn’t do that to me, especially after what I had just gone through.
We arrive at the store, run in, grab two different brands of tests and run out. I am dying of suspense waiting to pee on those stupid sticks. We go to the main house and it takes some negotiating to get into the bathroom together without making Jonesie suspicious. I sit on the toilet and pee a little on one stick then unwrap and pee a little more on the other. Tara and I sit on the bathroom floor and time the sticks with our cell phones. She times the first one; I set my phone to time the second. When we hear the beep first from her phone then from mine I feel sick to my stomach. What am I going to do if they are positive, what will I do if they’re not?
I didn’t realize until this very second how much I want them to be positive. After my miscarriage and the fact that Tate never really wanted kids I accepted the fact that I would probably never be a mom. Now things are so complicated. It’s not the right time to have a baby but I can’t help myself, I am wishing for a positive result when I look at the first then the second stick. They are both the same, both positive. I am pregnant. Then it hits me just how bad this timing really is. I am pregnant with Mac’s baby while I am technically still married to Tate…oh, fuck!
After Tara and I yell and scream and jump up and down in the bathroom causing Jonesie to come running I head back to the guest house. Tara told Jonesie that there was a huge bug in the shower and it scared us when she was showing me her new makeup colors, I think he bought it. If not he didn’t let on while I was still there.
When I walk into the guest house Mac is showered and wearing only a pair of khaki shorts, no shirt, no shoes. He looks sexy as hell with his bare chest. It’s all toned and tan and I can’t help myself, pregnancy is making me so horny. I walk over to him and as he’s asking me what I needed at the store I jump up on him wrapping my legs around him. My purse with the evidence of my condition falls to the floor as Mac uses one hand to swipe the island clean before he props me up on it. Within seconds his khaki’s are down around his ankles and my skirt is hiked up around my waist. He pushes my G-string aside and enters me in one push. I lose myself in his rhythm. When he grunts and then moans into my ear I am thrown into an orgasm so strong the spasms shake me from my head to my toes. Mac comes shortly after I do and before he even pulls out of me he asks, “What was that all about? Not that I’m complaining or anything.”
I’m scared; I don’t know how to tell him this news. I don’t know how he will react. Will he be happy, does he want to have a baby with someone who is still married to another man? Oh, God, how did my life become such a mess?
“Um, Mac I think you’d better sit down. There’s something we need to talk about.”
Mac looks nervous but does as I say. He pulls up his khaki’s and I fix my G-string and skirt. I lead him by the hand over to the sofa and when he sits down he pulls me into his lap.
“What’s this all about? You okay? Are you having second thoughts about going to the city? We don’t have to go right away; we can stay here a little longer if you need to” Mac offers.
“Um no, I think we need to go as soon as possible. I…I don’t know how to say this Mac. I don’t know how you are going to react.”
“Then just say it because this, this right here is killing me.”
I stand up and walk to my purse. I take one of the pregnancy sticks and walk back over to the couch and snuggle back onto his lap. He has no clue what I have in my hand.
“Um, are you happy with our relationship? You know it being just you and me?”
“Yeees” he says slowly and drawn out, clearly not knowing where I am going with this.
“What if it wasn’t just you and me?”
“Wait a minute. Are you asking me if I want to have a three way?”
“NO! Oh…NO! That’s not what I’m asking. Why is that what you want? No, forget about that, we are not having a three way. Wait, just
curious here, were you thinking about another girl or another guy?”
“Gross Brook, come on… a guy. I think you know me a little better than that by now, no? Please I…I wasn’t thinking about anyone. What the hell is this all about?”
I take the stick from behind my back and hand it to him closely watching his face as I say, “I don’t know if it’s going to be a girl or a boy but this relationship is about to get one person bigger.”
The look on Mac’s face when understanding hits is priceless. As he begins to smile his eyes begin to water. He can’t talk; he looks like he can’t even breathe. He hugs me to him burying his face in my hair and breathing in my scent. When he pulls back his face is wet from his tears. I just hope they are tears of joy.
“Are you okay with this Brook? I mean I want to have a baby with you so bad I can die just thinking about it but are you sure? I mean with everything you’ve been through the last few months and everything you’re about to do with the workshop and Tate. Oh, fuck Brook, Tate. You’re still married to him. What…?”
“I know, it’s a mess but you know what? This” I say as I touch my belly, “This baby has given me the strength I need to face him once and for all. I want to fly to California and deal with Tate before we go to the city. It’s way over time.”