Over the course of dinner I’d learned that the foot and ankle have one quarter of the bones in the human body, twenty-six to be exact. There are over a hundred ligaments and tendons and thirty-three joints. They have over eight thousand nerves and a quarter of a million sweat glands. This information, while fascinating, was not exactly my idea of great dinner convo.
He was a nice guy though and he wasn’t bad looking. Actually, he was handsome in a clean-cut, preppy kind of way. He had a strong, square jaw, blond hair that had a slight wave to it, and his eyes were a deep shade of brown. The eyes had stood out in his profile picture. They looked kind. And it turned out they were, but kind wasn’t enough to keep me from falling asleep. Literally. I was dozing off.
In fairness, it wasn’t all his fault. I’d barely slept the night before. I’d tossed and turned in a restless fit. I couldn’t stop replaying my conversation with Hayden in his truck. It was all I could think about.
After Hayden dropped me off, I’d had a good cry over what could’ve been. What would I have done if Hayden hadn’t come back to Wishing Well? If I’d been going to his funeral? I’d spent so much time and energy being angry at him for leaving me and then angry at him for coming back, that I hadn’t considered the alternative. Now that I had, I was pretty sure I needed professional help to cope with it.
As much as I wanted to hate him, I couldn’t. It further broke my already broken heart knowing that he’d been in that much pain. And to think that he could’ve died was too much to bear.
“So, Jade, what is your five-year plan?”
I blinked. It took me a minute to return to our conversation. I gave him a brief rundown of my five year business plan and began to feel more like this was an interview than a date.
“And what about personally?”
“Personally?”
“Yes.” He responded without hesitation. “I would like to be married with one child and one on the way.”
“That’s very specific.”
He set his fork down. “I like to have things planned out. I’m thirty-two and this is the decade that I would like to start my family. My twenties were dedicated to building my career. My thirties will be finding my life partner and creating a family. My forties will be centered on raising my children. And once the children are in college, I’d like to retire in my mid-fifties and travel with my wife.”
“Wow.” I wasn’t sure what else to say. I was sure that there were plenty of women that would love to build that life with him, but I wasn’t one of them.
“So where do you see yourself in five years?” he repeated the question. “Married? Kids?”
“I’m not sure. I don’t really believe that you can plan something like that.”
“Of course you can plan it.” He stared at me, incredulous.
What he didn’t know was I certainly hadn’t planned my first pregnancy. In fact I hadn’t even known I was pregnant until I was losing it. It happened a week shy of my sixteenth birthday, and when the doctor told me that my bleeding and abdominal pain was due to a miscarriage it hadn’t seemed real. Hayden and I had always used protection. I told the doctor that as if that would make him change his diagnosis of what was happening to me.
I honestly thought he’d say, “Oh, you use protection. Never mind then. You’re not having a miscarriage. It must be something else.”
Instead he explained to me that condoms were not one hundred percent effective even if they are used correctly. The entire thing still felt like a bad dream. Like a nightmare that I couldn’t wake up from.
My parents never knew what happened. They’d been in Ireland at the time and had left me and Bryson alone since he was eighteen. When I started having bad cramping he was at his girlfriend’s house so I asked Hayden to drive me to the doctor. The only clinic that was open was in Parish Creek, a town about half an hour away. Hayden paid cash and they didn’t ask any questions.
Less than a month later, on his eighteenth birthday, Hayden joined the Army and left for boot camp. I always wondered how different life would be if I hadn’t lost our baby. Would it have been a boy or a girl? Would he or she have Hayden’s eyes or mine? Would they be quiet or outspoken?
The first few years after Hayden left were the worst. I would imagine that our baby would be walking. Talking. Have first teeth. That went on for three or four years, I’d contemplate imaginary milestones. I don’t know what changed but after a certain point I was able to put it out of my mind for the most part. I still wondered but it wasn’t something that I spent hours a day obsessing over.
Then Bella came back to Wishing Well with Sadie. Sadie and my baby would have been the same age. And it started all over again. Would I have had a boy or a girl? Would Hayden and I have stayed together or would we still have broken up? Would I have gone to college? Would I be starting my own business?
Not long after that Bella and Colton reunited and Hayden returned home and my imagination had gone into overdrive. I couldn’t seem to shut it off. I was picturing every scenario that might’ve been.
Maybe I needed to get Hayden’s therapist’s number.
“Can I get you two anything else?” the waitress asked as she approached the table.
I blinked up at her. “No, I’m good, thank you.”
Dennis set his napkin on his plate. “We’ll just take the check.”
She nodded and pulled it out of her apron.
I reached for it at the same time he did.
“I’ve got this,” he said.
“Thank you, but that’s not necessary,” I insisted, although it was refreshing to have someone offer to pick up the tab. I couldn’t remember the last time a man had done that.
After taking care of the bill, we stood and I felt those three wines hit me. Dennis helped me with my coat and offered me his arm as we walked outside where he handed the valet his ticket.
“It was nice meeting you.” I said, as I dug in my purse for my phone.
“You’re not driving, are you?”
“No,” I held up my phone. “Uber.”
“I can give you a ride.” It was obvious that unlike Sam who wanted to take me home to “get to know me better” Dennis was not thinking in those terms. He was offering a ride out of gentlemanly obligation, nothing more. Plus, Wishing Well was a good twenty minute drive from Parish Creek where the restaurant was and he lived.
“Oh no, that’s okay. I’m good,” I assured him.
“Well, it was nice meeting you, Jade. I wish you luck in all your future endeavors.” He gave me one of the nicest blow offs in history as his car pulled up.
It was a Porsche Cayenne.
Yeah. He was going to make someone else very happy one day.
“You too, Dennis.” I waved as he drove away.
Another date in the books.
Chapter 10
Hayden
“Truth is only a hard pill to swallow if you’re lying to yourself.”
~ Nora O’Sullivan
“Where do you want these?” Coop asked as he lifted the metal panels.
He and Bryson had volunteered their Sunday in order to help me install the kennels and I had to admit, it was amazing how much more got accomplished with the extra hands.
“Back corner,” I directed them.
I’d always hated accepting help from people, but this was too big a project for me to take on myself. My dad and Hudson had been helping all week and my boss, Sawyer, had been around to offer up some extra manpower and materials. The space was coming along faster than I could’ve ever imagined it. All that was left really was the kennels and the training course.
With all three of us working the kennels were up in record time.
“It’s really coming together,” Cooper observed after double checking his last bolt.
“It is.” I nodded. “Thanks for coming by and helping out. I really appreciate it.”
“Don’t thank us. Beer us,” Coop demanded.
“Done.” I crossed to the fully stocked frid
ge and grabbed three bottles.
As I handed them out, Coop turned to Bryson. “So how’s Jade’s dating thing going?”
I knew he’d brought it up just to mess with me. Coop was about as subtle as a bull in a china shop.
Bryson took a long swig of his beer and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand before answering. “I don’t know. I mean, she said she was doing it for the free advertising, but I kind of get the feeling that she’s taking it seriously, too. Who knows? She’s never been one to settle down but she seems different now.”
I tried my best to appear nonchalant.
“I don’t know, she started her business and all of her friends are settling down, so maybe she’s just in a different place.” Bryson shrugged. “She’s more…serious.”
Was she? I glanced down at the floor and realized then that I had no idea if her behavior was any different than it had been before I’d come back. Intellectually, I’d known that I’d missed over a decade of her life but emotionally I felt like I still knew her. The truth was, I didn’t.
From Instagram I knew she loved coffee, reality TV, sunsets, spin class, and that brownie sundaes were still her go-to dessert. But, I didn’t know if she still listened to Madonna every morning in the shower or if she still watched one Christmas movie a day from November 1st through New Year’s Eve. And I didn’t know what she thought about…anything.
We used to talk all the time. For hours. She never held anything in. Her mind was so funny. The connections her brain would make were endlessly fascinating. She could start with a blister she’d gotten from her new tennis shoes and five minutes later launch into an article she’d read about children in Sudan having to spend eight hours a day walking to get clean water.
“It’s weird, for a while there I thought that you two were going to get together,” Bryson said.
I lifted my head expecting him to be looking at me but instead he was talking to Cooper.
Coop’s lips tilted in a cat-that-ate-the-canary grin. “We tried. It didn’t work.”
“What?” Both Bryson and I spoke at the same time.
Coop continued, “We hung out but it didn’t go anywhere.”
“Seriously?” Bryson’s jaw dropped and he looked just as shocked by the news as I was.
“When?” My posture stiffened.
“Senior Prom,” he added as casually as if he’d just said that he bought new socks.
A ringtone went off and Bryson pulled his phone out of his pocket. “It’s Shelly, I’m going to take this outside.” He headed for the door as he brought the phone to his ear, “Did everything with the new distributor go smoothly?”
Once he was gone, I stepped closer to Cooper. “I asked you to watch out for her not fuck her.”
Coop didn’t seem at all phased by my anger. He shrugged, lifted his bottle to his lips and took a swig. “What do you care? You said nothing ever happened between you two.”
I inhaled a deep breath through my nose and tried to calm down. A voice in the back of my head was telling me to shut up and that it was none of my business, but I didn’t listen. I knew that I was being an asshole, but I didn’t care.
Coop put the man in womanizer. He didn’t take relationships seriously. He’d never committed to anything in his life. Thinking of him treating Jade like one of his revolving door hookups made me want to hurt someone. Namely him.
“Did you hurt her?”
“Did you?” One of his eyebrows rose.
“If you hurt her I…”
His smile widened and I saw a look of challenge in his eyes that I’d never seen before. “What? What are you going to do if I hurt her?”
I wanted to sock him. To kick his ass. But after a year of therapy I knew that the person I was really mad at was myself. That didn’t change the fact that I still wanted to punch that shit-eating grin off his face.
We stood, chest to chest, less than a foot away from each other, neither of us backing down. I was one hundred percent in the wrong. I owed Coop an apology. Whatever happened between him and Jade was none of my business. I knew this on a rational level, I just couldn’t get my brain to tell my heart. These were all things that I knew on a rational level. Too bad I wasn’t dealing with logic right now.
“Hey, I gotta take off. The distributor is giving Shelly…” Bryson’s voice tapered off. “What’s goin’ on? You two having a staring or a pissing contest?”
“Neither.” Coop took a step back. “I’m rollin’ with you.”
Not surprising, given that I’d just been such an ass.
Bryson’s forehead wrinkled as he looked between us with uncertainty before patting me on the shoulder. “Sorry to bail on you, man.”
“No worries. Thanks for your help today. Both of you.” I made a point to look at Coop. “It means a lot.”
“Of course man, anything you need you know we got you.” Bryson grabbed his tool box and headed out to his truck.
Coop started to follow behind but turned before he’d even made it two steps. His voice was quiet as he spoke, “I didn’t hurt her. But you did. I know, ‘nothing happened’ between you two, but when you left, she was wrecked. It took her years, seriously years, to get back to herself.”
If I hadn’t felt like total shit before, I sure as hell did now.
Unable to form words to express what I was feeling, I nodded.
“She loves you, man. She might not want to admit it, but she does. And you love her. I don’t know what went down, but I think it’s about damn time you fix it.”
“Yeah.” I took my hat off and ran my hands through my hair in frustration. “I’ve been thinking the same thing.”
Coop smiled again, this time with more amusement than arrogance.
“What?” I asked just before Bryson honked his horn.
Coop grinned as he walked out and shouted a parting, “This is going to be fun to watch.”
At least someone was getting some enjoyment out of my pain.
Chapter 11
Jade
“Forgetting a debt doesn’t mean it’s paid.”
~ Nora O’Sullivan
“No.” I barely had the strength to hold the phone to my ear as I spoke to my mother. She’d been at the grocery store and had called to see if I wanted her to pick up a bag of my favorite cookies that they rarely stocked.
“Are you sure? I don’t mind.”
“I’m trying to cut down on sugar.” It was another trigger for migraines, and right now my head felt as if it were being squeezed by a vice. Right now I’d give up anything to make it stop.
“You sound miserable. Are you sure you don’t want me to come over? I can bring some soup.”
My stomach rolled at the mention of food.
“No. That’s okay. I have some leftovers.” I had no plan of eating those leftovers, but if my mom thought that I wasn’t eating she’d just show up no matter what I said.
“All right, if you’re sure you’re okay.” I could hear the worry in her voice and as much as I wanted to reassure her, I wanted to get off the phone more.
“I am, Mama. I’m gonna get some rest, I’ll call you tomorrow. Love you. Bye.”
“Love you, a stór.”
I grinned at the Irish endearment that my mother had called me since I was a baby. My treasure. Opening one eye, I squinted as I disconnected the call and checked the time. My stomach sank. I’d spent the day in bed. Originally I tried to convince myself that it was just a hangover from the three glasses of wine the night before, but it was time to face reality. I was in the throes of a full-blown migraine episode.
Keeping my head as still as possible, I set my phone down on my nightstand. Fighting every instinct in my body to tense up from the pain I forced myself to relax and breathe slowly and steadily. I lay there, perfectly still with my eyes closed in the hopes that the excruciating pain and intense pressure in my head would subside.
No luck.
I’d had such lofty goals for today. I was going to tackle my ever-growing
to-do list that I’d been ignoring for weeks. It was full of mostly small things like changing the water filter, replacing the batteries in the smoke detectors, WD-40 the back screen door to stop the squeaking, etc.
Both my dad and brother had offered to come and do whatever fix-it projects needed doing, but I hated accepting help. I’d always been fiercely independent. My mom said that I would sit for as long as it took to and try to tie my own shoe instead of accepting help and going outside to play. The first word I said was “self” and the first sentence I spoke was, “I do it.” I said that to my mom when she was trying to buckle me into my car seat. I was eleven months old.
It wasn’t just my stuff that I’d flaked on; I was also supposed to meet Hayden at his warehouse to talk about the grand opening, his website and social media plans. I’d texted him in an effort to reschedule. In a cruel twist of fate, originally, I practically prayed for any excuse to get out of seeing him, now I was honestly disappointed that I had to cancel.
Life was a real bitch sometimes.
I was so tired of thinking about Hayden. I wanted a break from it and the excruciating pain I was in so I tried my best to will myself to sleep.
I must’ve been successful because the last thing I remembered thinking was how great it felt to hug Hayden, how right it felt to be in his arms again and the next thing I was aware of was a loud, pounding sound.
It took me a second to get my bearings but then I realized that the pounding was someone knocking on my front door. My lips parted as I sighed deeply. I loved my mom, but she could be the most stubborn woman on the planet. I should’ve known she wouldn’t have listened to me.
I thought about ignoring her and pretending to be asleep, but that would be pointless since she’d most likely just use her key to come in. If she saw how much pain I was in she’d go into full mom-management mode. There would be baths drawn, soup force-fed, and more likely than not, she’d spend the night just to make sure I slept.
Unwrapping Jade Page 6