by Taylor Hart
She kept saying over and over she couldn’t do a relationship. There was something so good about this woman. He’d seen how she’d looked when she’d been ready to chase down Lissa and her mother. She’d inspired him to buy Christmas for the whole group. Tara Lighthouse had always inspired him.
Will swallowed a bitter emotion as he remembered her difficult childhood. Then he smiled, thinking of how they’d talked about having ten kids together. It’d been ridiculous, but they had joked they were both Catholic, right? Not such a far stretch.
Will knew his mom would find that joke hilarious. Thoughts of his mother would sneak up on him when he’d least suspect them, though they crept in more during Christmastime. After all, if she were still alive, there’d be no question the boys would be coming home for Christmas.
Chills rushed over him, and Will thought he could feel his mother in the room, hugging him. Tears misted in his eyes. His brothers made fun of everything, but none of them ever dared make fun of anything about their mother. They all loved her so fiercely. She’d been so good to them, taught them so well. He let out a sigh. She’d adored Tara, loved her last name of Lighthouse.
A sudden memory hit him. One night he’d come home too late and his mother had said, “Will, you keep curfew. And you make sure you do nothing to disrespect Tara. I know you love that girl. She’s a keeper, just like her name. She’s a beacon of good to all around her. You keep that one close.”
He marveled at how he’d gone and bought the ring for her the next week. It was so small, but he’d kept it all these years.
Why? Was it really because he was supposed to be with her? He thought back to his years at the Naval Academy and then on the carrier. It would have been near impossible, he realized, to be married.
Will tugged his phone out of his pocket and checked the time. It was almost seven o’clock at night. The blizzard outside had made it dark. They’d been in the lounge for about an hour, and by the looks of her, she wouldn’t be skiing again.
Staring down at her, he kissed her head. He felt a little bad he’d done it, but he decided he didn’t care. Partly because he wasn’t going to just allow her to dismiss him from her life.
More troubling was the way she seemed totally fine one minute, then abruptly lost all of her energy and nearly fell asleep wherever she was at the next. She needed to get into a doctor and get checked out. He would make sure she made an appointment tomorrow. Even if she had to wait for the beginning of the year, she needed to take care of herself.
His kiss woke her. She quickly pulled her head back from his shoulder. “Hey.” She rubbed her eyes.
“Hey, sleepyhead.” He grinned at her. He felt different, like he might be ready to go back to Denver, dig that ring out of the jacket pocket he’d put it in the night before, get on his knee, and ask her to marry him even though she would probably tell him no a hundred times.
She looked outside. “Oh gosh, we better hit the roads before they close. That Eisenhower tunnel is always atrocious.” She stood. “I’m going to head to the ladies’ room.”
She rushed off, and Will turned to look around the lodge. He saw a guy slink to a seat at the lodge bar. “Roads are closed,” the guy grumbled. He pointed to the tap. “Bartender, give me a drink.”
Will moved to his side. “What did you say?”
The guy grinned at him. “Hey, you’re Will Kent.”
“Yep.”
The guy nodded to a seat next to him. “Sit. I’ll buy you a drink because the roads are closed and there’s absolutely no rooms available.”
Chapter 13
“I don’t think we should stay at a hotel together,” Tara protested, uncomfortable with this whole situation.
“Hey, I just had to throw around my football status to get this room, Ms. Lighthouse. I think gratitude should be more of what I’m hearing.”
“True. I’m sorry, I just am not comfortable sharing a room with you.”
Will frowned. “Tara, you stayed at my house last night, so what’s the big deal?”
She shuffled out of the elevator and down toward the room. Their room. “I’m your PR person. How does this look, us staying together?”
Will rolled his eyes. “The roads are closed to Denver, and there’s one room left.”
She knew this, but it was still—Nausea surged up from her stomach, and she gagged. “Dang it, excuse me.”
Will had just slipped the card in and out. She pushed around him, bolting for the bathroom. She threw the door shut behind her and then barfed into the toilet. This was awful, unlike the mornings when she didn’t have anything to throw up. Now she’d had dinner.
Another wave of nausea made her barf harder. Her muscles ached from the movement of always throwing up.
“Tara?” Will loomed over her, scowling. Her worst nightmare manifested. “What is wrong with you?”
She wiped her face with some toilet paper, then stood. Her voice quavered as she shoved past him to the sink. “Nothing. Please, get out.” She was shaky again and hated how the shakes always accompanied the nausea.
“Tara?”
“Get out, Will!” She hadn’t meant to yell that loud. Actually, she had. What made Will think he could just walk in the bathroom while she was throwing up? What would she even say or tell him? He must realize …
Anger darkened his expression. She’d seen that anger before he’d beaten up a kid named Jimmy Haun for insulting her while she was cheerleading their junior year. “Fine, but we’re not done talking about this.”
After he shut the door, she collapsed to the sink, turning on the faucet and gulping back water. Dang it. She hadn’t even told Zeke yet. She hadn’t even really accepted it herself, but it was unavoidable now. She finished freshening herself up, then lurched out of the bathroom.
The room only had two double beds, a small table, dresser, and a sliding door with a view of the slopes. Will stood next to the sliding door. “Do you want to tell me what’s going on?”
“I’m preg—” The word stuck in her throat. If she said it, she would have to make decisions and deal with it.
His eyes met hers and he cocked an eyebrow.
“Pregnant,” she finished.
“How?” His arms were crossed. She imagined what it would feel like to have Will Kent as a commanding officer, demanding answers. His jawline was hard, his eyes intense.
She shook her head at the question. “I think you might know the answer to that.”
Unfolding his arms, he took two steps closer to her. “Is it Zeke’s?”
More than a little annoyed he would ask that, she glared at him. “Do you really want to ask me that question?”
Looking baffled, he let out a long breath. “Well.”
Stupid, idiot tears burned down her cheeks. “I told you the divorce was expedited. The night before I caught him with the maid … well.” She threw a hand into the air and then turned to the bed and sat. “I think you know what happened.” Even though it wasn’t ideal, it kind of felt good to tell someone.
She turned back and saw him staring out the window, completely … what? Dang it. She let out a sigh and plunged herself back into the pillows.
“Tara.” The anger in his voice softened to confusion. “What are you … have you told him?”
She pushed some of the pillows over her head, letting herself escape into the mountain of fluffiness. “I don’t think I can.” She knew she was being childish, but this was Will. Whereas his presence had put her on edge not too long ago, now she felt the jig was up. There was nothing else to do, and Will had known her a long time.
She felt him sidle next to her on the bed. He flicked some of the pillows away. “Let’s talk about this.”
She laughed at his serious look and sat up. Dang, the nausea was over. Just as fast as it’d come and gone, she was hungry. “Do you have any crackers?”
He cast her a disapproving look. “Why would I have crackers?”
“I don’t know, I’m—maybe the hotel gave you a
special basket because you’re … you.” She flung a hand at him, then flung back into the pillows, no longer hopeless like she’d been since finding out she was pregnant. No, she was just tired and didn’t want to feel nauseous again. “It seems like the only thing that actually helps the nausea is crackers.”
Will stood, and she heard him pick up the hotel phone. “Yes, would you mind sending up some crackers? Just charge them to the room. Thank you.”
“Thank you,” she said from beneath the pillows.
He was quiet.
She sat up again. “Well, now you know that your old high school flame is pregnant. I guess that blows whatever this was, right?” She pointed back and forth between them.
Will raked his fingers through his hair, then rubbed his beautiful, sexy five-o’clock shadow.
She’d never thought her life would end up this way. She felt like a complete idiot. “I guess this must make you happy. When I said I wouldn’t marry you, do you remember what you said to me?”
His frown deepened. “I was just being all sour grapes. I didn’t mean that.”
“You told me I would regret it. And I guess you were right.” Tears came to her eyes and she stood, hating that she was an easy target. She thought of Zeke and catching him, how bad it’d been with him even before that. She burst into sobs, covering her face and rushing toward the hotel room door. “You were right.”
“Wait.” Will cut her off, standing in front of the door. “What are you doing?”
“I’m running from you. Can’t you see that?” She pushed his chest, which was like pushing a marble slab.
“Why?”
She shoved him again, then again. “Because I need to run.”
“Tara, stop.” His arms collapsed around her.
She fell into him, feeling raw and vulnerable and awful that she needed him so badly.
“Shh.” He held her close, keeping her tightly against him. “It’s okay.”
She didn’t know how long she cried against his chest, but his T-shirt was soaked when she pulled back. “I’m sorry.”
“Shh.” He rubbed circles into her back. “It’s fine. It’s totally fine.”
Tugging loose of him, she turned back to her bed and sat, feeling like an idiot. “I … it’s all a mess.” She sniffed and her nose ran.
Will reached for a Kleenex on the dresser and handed it to her.
“Why do you have to be so sweet?” She took it.
A small smile played at his lips, and he sat next to her. The weight of his body made the bed sink a lot more. “It’s gonna be okay, Tear Bear.”
Now the stupid nickname made her smile. Hope sparked within her, and she met his beautiful blue eyes.
Gently, he touched the side of her face. “It’s going to be okay.”
She stiffened. “Did you just hear what I said? That I’m pregnant with my jerkwad ex-husband’s kid?”
He didn’t move. “Yep.”
Her mind went into the overdrive. It had been running like that since she’d found out. “I just don’t think I can do this.”
“When did you find out?”
She glanced back at him. “The night you showed up.”
Will scoffed. “I thought something was off.” He snapped his fingers. “Why were you so cold?”
Ashamed, she stood and wandered to the sliding door. “Because I was out on the roof, thinking about jumping off.”
“Man.” He let out a long breath.
She stared at the snow, wanting to get lost in it. “I had just prayed for help.”
“What?” His breath caught on the word.
Closing her eyes, she said, “I shouldn’t even tell you that.”
“You prayed me there, Tear Bear?” He hugged her again.
She laughed, hating and loving his arms around her. She was growing more and more used to being inside of them, and she didn’t know if she liked that or not.
He grinned down at her. “I’m glad I got to be the one the Big Guy sent.”
She rolled her eyes and tugged free. “Will …”
“What?”
She sighed. “Right, exactly. I pray, you show up, talking about dogs and cats and mountains and beaches.”
He laughed.
She laughed, too. He was silly, but he warmed her heart.
“You liked it,” he whispered.
Attraction burned through her. “No, it’s just … then you show back up like some white knight, flashing around your money. I never should have taken it.” She turned away from him, embarrassed. How had she gotten to this place in her life?
“Why not?” he demanded.
“Have you heard anything I’ve said? Because I’m pregnant.”
He scoffed. “So what? I hired you to help me with my PR, and that Santa thing worked perfectly. Have you seen the responses from the fans all over social media? Denver loves me. Grim can’t touch me now.”
She wagged a finger at him. “Except the truth is that it could have been even better if they would have known you bought Christmas for all those kids.”
He looked at his hands. “Nah, they didn’t need to know that.”
“And this is what mystifies me about you.”
Putting a hand to his chest, he smiled. “I mystify Tara Lighthouse. Well, ladies and gents, it’s a good day indeed.”
This was Will, always ready to cheer her up. “Will …”
He grinned. “Tara …”
Chemistry bubbled inside of her. Will wasn’t the high school version, nor was he the playboy he portrayed himself as through social media. “You’re a big softie, and you don’t like it when people know that.”
A knock sounded at the door, and Will opened it quickly. A guy stood there holding a whole basket of assorted crackers. He’d also brought waters and Sprite.
Will put up his hand. “Hold up.” He pulled some money from his wallet and handed it to the guy. “This is amazing, thanks.”
The guy grinned at him. “Could I trouble you for an autograph?” He held out a piece of paper.
“You bet.” Will turned and handed Tara the basket. “Here ya go.”
Already, she felt another round of tears coming on. “Thank you.”
Will winked at her. “Hey, I’m eating half.” He grabbed a pen from the desk and signed the guy’s paper, and the two of them chatted for a minute.
Tara put the basket onto the little table, then opened a Sprite and some soda crackers. Munching on them, she felt instantly better. It surprised her how the nausea always abated so quickly.
Will finished with the guy, and he let out a breath as the door closed behind him. “Are you okay?” he asked her. “For real?”
She met his eyes and nodded, feeling like a kid. “Aren’t you, like … feeling weird about this?”
He frowned. “What?”
“Me, pregnant. Divorced. Used up.”
“Am I feeling weird that the woman I used to know, that I was already starting to fall for, is pregnant? Kinda. Divorced?” He waved a hand through the air. “I have enough life experience to know sometimes divorces have to happen.” He scowled. “I would never think you’re used up, so just stop that.”
She sniffed.
He grinned. “I can’t wait until you’re all huge and even more beautiful than now.”
His words made her want to cry, again. She hid her face from him. “Stupid pregnancy hormones.”
Will took her hand. “Just … let me be here for you right now.”
She left her hand in his, and she wouldn’t deny how good it felt to have told him. He was so kind to her. “Okay.” She sighed. “I just feel so many things right now. Emotional. I’m up, then down. Out of whack physically. I’m hungry, then I’m barfing. Energy, then no energy. I don’t know how you can even stand to be near me in this state.”
He brushed a strand of hair out of her face. “If you didn’t notice, Lighthouse, even when you’re pale and pitiful, I still can’t quit holding your hand.”
Her heart ra
ced, and she couldn’t stop the feeling that maybe, even with this whole situation, she might have feelings for him. “If you were smart, you would stay away from me right now.”
He grunted. “I’ve never been accused of being too smart—just ask the bros.”
He was making a joke at his own expense for her, and she appreciated it. “I’m not buying it. You’re kinda, like, famous for your mad strategies on the field.”
“It’s just a game. Yeah, I’m good there.” He met her eyes. “But it matters a lot more if I’m good …” He squeezed her hand. “Here.”
It was stupid, but she felt more attracted to Will at this moment than she ever had. “Thank you.”
He snatched a cracker and smiled at her. “Remember, just because you’re pregnant doesn’t mean you get all of them.”
She grinned and took another cracker. “I’m good at sharing.”
Their eyes held, and she knew so much was changing between them in this moment. But it couldn’t, she reminded herself, and she looked away. “Will, I still haven’t even told Zeke. I still—” She didn’t want to admit some of the thoughts she’d had, but it all came out. “I might leave and go somewhere, have the baby, then give it to a nice couple who can adopt.”
“What?” His eyes widened. “Is that what you want?”
She shook her head. “I don’t want Zeke to use this baby as a chess piece. I don’t want the baby to be born into a broken family.”
Running his hand over his face, Will narrowed his eyes. “The Tara Lighthouse I know would fight. She wouldn’t just run from stupid head.”
“You have no idea what you’re talking about,” she growled. How dare he judge her?
He let out a breath. “You’re right. You’re right.” He swallowed. “I have no idea what you have been through and what you’re going through. So, let’s focus on right now. How I can help you? What else do you need? More food? A doctor to check you out? You shouldn’t have skied so hard today.”
She sighed, feeling overwhelmed again and wondering why she even told him. “I’m fine, Will.” Her eyes misted with tears. “There is one thing you can do.”