She cocks her head and closes her eyes. When they open, there’s a dreamlike serenity in them. “Else?” she asks.
“Yeah.” I kiss her forehead, confident I know the answer, though the confirmation will be nice.
“I loved, yeah. But fall in love forever? No. Only with you,” she whispers. But it sounds like a marching band in my heart. Only with you.
I look up, letting my head fall back as I close my eyes and utter a soft, “Thank God.” Then I look intently at Ruby. “Though I find it hard to believe my sweet thing never found another true love, I’m relieved.”
“Had a few proposals.” She shrugs and smiles. “But I wasn’t in love enough.”
“In love enough?” I chuckle. “That’s a funny saying.”
“In love enough…like…” Ruby fills our wine glasses. “You get a little nervous excited when your eyes meet.”
“Like this?” I ask.
We’re motionless in a perfect time-standing-still stare. One of those turn-you-inside-out stares. A prelude-to-a-first kiss, first-handhold, first-take-your-clothes-off stare. Wonder and curiosity, the unknown as beautiful as anything you’ve ever felt.
“Mmmm-hmm.” She wets her lips, parting them with her tongue. “Or your heart beats go crazy when—”
“When I touch you like this?” I open her knees with my palms then, one inch at a time, skim her skirt higher, my thumbs floating on the soft peach fuzz of her inner thighs.
“Rebel.”
“What else says…you’re in love enough? Something like this?” I ask and graze a wet line of kisses down her throat—until I meet her cleavage and pepper it with kisses too.
“Definitely that.” She inhales a shaky breath.
“This too?” I ease a hand inside the front of her underwear, slick coating my fingertips when I slip them lower.
“Rebel, oh God.”
“Tell me you love me enough that you’ll stay…that you’ll be mine like I’ve wanted for too long.”
“I will consider staying—if you tell me why you didn’t come for me on graduation night. Why…when I asked…could you not tell me where you were?”
Chapter 36
Ruby
“How ’bout we not talk about that night right now. How ’bout we talk about this down here,” he says, glancing at his busy fingers. “And about what’s going to happen any second.” His upper lip rises in the sexiest, my-hand-is-loving-what-it’s-feeling way. Like he’s so focused on my pleasure he doesn’t have control over his mouth. He grips a fist full of my hair, my head falling back in slow motion.
“Rebel, I…”
With his tongue on my throat, one hand stilling my head, and the other working me to imminent orgasm, I moan out a sound, a claim, then his name. My noises are most definitely turning him on as much as he’s turning me on.
“Not gonna lie, baby. When you moan like that…then say my name while my fingers are deep in your wet pussy, coated in your slick…fuck…makes me so hard… I’m gonna fuck you, Ruby. Fuck you hard after you come on my hand then face.”
I don’t know what he’s doing with his fingers, but I’m suddenly full of them—everywhere. And, when he bites my nipple through my dress, I wilt onto him, my fingers thrusting into then gripping his hair, my hips finding a rhythm with his hands, and God, I come so hard that I bite the meat of his shoulder just to brace myself.
“Time for dessert.” Rebel’s half-mast eyes when he lifts me off the chair and positions me on the white marble pastry counter say one thing. He’s starved.
But he still hasn’t told me why he didn’t come that night. And, while the timing stinks, it matters that he fesses up. Later.
“What are you smiling about?” I ask when he walks backward to the cooler while waggling his brow.
“You know what I’m smiling about.” He rummages through the cooler then emerges, his arms loaded.
I tuck my legs to the side when he saunters toward me with a few small bowls on a tray. Fillings. I dip a finger into the cream then wipe it across his lips, hoping he’ll come closer so I can lick it off.
“Get your ass over here.” He yanks me to the edge and spreads my knees, all the while circling his lips with his tongue.
“What are you planning on doing?” I ask. “That look on your face is pretty sinful, Wishbone.”
“Gonna strip you the fuck down—that’s what.”
My underwear is off, falling-star fast.
“Then I’m going eat some cream-filled holes,” he says. “You know my motto.” He grins.
“Dessert first,” we say in unison, and he winks at me.
“Not just any dessert,” he says at my ear between sucks of my lobe. “Put out your tongue, sweet thing.” Rebel dips his pinkie into the chocolate, licks it, then sucks my tongue into his mouth.
“This is a little more advanced than our first date.” I’m lightheaded over my newfound crush with the man Rebel has become.
“That’s because I’m a little more advanced than I was as a teenage boy.”
We fall into a kiss so intense and deep, so sexy and arousing, that I’m sure I’ll slip off the counter. Rebel does things with his lips and his tongue that seem unimaginable. His gift for making me fall into his kisses and dragging me with him has always been magic, but those were high-school-boy kisses wrapped in innocence and yet-to-be-discovered pleasures we never had the chance to share. Now, though, Rebel as a man, with his roughness and aggressive nature, his ownership of me and the way he combines his intense side with his take-care-of-me side… It’s that first bite of a sundae when the hot fudge and the cold cream mingle on your tongue and you moan because the balance of it hits you like it was made by Mother Nature for your taste buds alone.
Rebel’s hands travel down my curves. Tingles skate over my skin at his engaging touch. He undresses me with skill as he continues to make love to my mouth.
“I’ve always had a dirty fantasy about your tits.” He unfastens my bra, his rough hands cupping both breasts while he sucks my nipples with vigor. “Something I’ve never told you.” He glances up, one nipple rolling around the tip of his tongue. “Had it since we were sixteen.”
“Dirty, huh?”
“Filthy. Wrong.” He chuckles. “Perfect.”
I close my eyes and arch into him. Cold hits my already hard tips seconds later as he coats my nipples with cream then sucks them off.
“Think you’ll tell me now?”
“I’ll knock you up someday. Then I’ll show you. Knock you up and watch your gorgeous tits grow and fill with milk for the baby and then for me.”
All these things were bound to come out at some point. The this-can’t-happen-because-that-did. The don’t-ask-me-to-do-that-because-they-did-it. The don’t-say-those-words-to-me-because-they-said-them. Even dead, the Kline boys won’t stop badgering me.
“Rebel.” Ah, fuck. How do I tell him? And why do I feel shame over what happened?
After I knock you up. I wish. How do I tell him one more thing they took from me, from us, without telling him exactly how they did it?
“Hey,” he says. “What’s up? Seems like I just lost you.”
I don’t realize I’ve sunk into my safe-inside-me place until he says my name repeatedly. Until he’s kissing my face. Until I look into his eyes and see a man I love, a man who I wish had saved me. He couldn’t have known.
“Ruby, talk to me.”
“You’ll—” I stop on that one word, knowing how much is attached to it. Say the words. “You’ll never be able to knock me up. I had a situation… I can’t.”
He knows before I say more, his eyes tender with concern. The actual words never form, but they don’t need to.
Chapter 37
Rebel
Jesus, what else? Ruby’s eyes fill with disappointment, which matches my own.
“Hey, it’s okay. Ruby, look at me. I need you to know it’s okay.”
“It’s not okay,” she says. “But thanks for not getting mad. It’s hea
rtbreaking. No woman…” She buries her face in my neck.
“Why would I be mad? No woman what?”
“No woman wants that choice to be made for her.”
“Of course not, baby. I’m so sorry it makes you sad. I hate seeing you cry, especially about something like this.”
“Something we could have had.” She pauses then whispers, “Together.”
“We can have all kinds of things together. A lifetime.” I press my forehead to hers and wrap my arms around her shivering frame.
“This though… It was something I always wanted. You know, since I was a little girl.” She swallows hard then looks at me like she’s stolen my future. “To someday be a mother. To carry, um…your child.”
The reality of her words overrides my nerves when my pulse races. But her cheerless, vacant eyes and her clammy, limp hands bring me back to her. My girl.
“How did you find out you can’t carry a child?”
Ruby stares off into the distance, a deep crease on her forehead, her scarlet cheeks looking like memories she wants to stop thinking about. “I had a botched abortion. I hope that doesn’t freak you out. I never would have, but there was no choice. It was a medical thing. The baby had no spine.”
I reinforce my hold and snug her body closer when she wiggles away. “Why would that freak me out? All it does is make me feel bad that you went through that.” I peel her fingers off her face and kiss them.
After a stretch of silence, she stares at me. In her gaze is a request for forgiveness and sorrow.
“Was he there for you?”
“No, they weren’t.”
“They? It was one of theirs? The Kline boys?” Like a shot of adrenaline, I’m jolted out of a tender moment and into my reoccurring nightmare. “Jesus fucking Christ.” I turn, shoving my hands through my hair, warring with myself to gain composure. I want to scrub her down with a wire fucking brush.
“I wasn’t planning on telling you yet,” Ruby says, soft as cotton. “It’s just…I’m being honest. Please don’t be angry.”
I pace in small circles, swearing and tightening my fists. Growls like from a beaten animal scrape my throat, though my heartbeats are louder. “I’m hurt, and yes a little angry, and tell me… Why the fuck didn’t you use something? And then why did you tell me last night you were on the pill or—”
“I never said I was on the pill. I said we didn’t have to worry. I didn’t want to ruin the mood.”
“Well, the mood is ruined now.”
“Rebel, why are you mad?” Ruby’s eyebrows pinch together as her eyes redden.
“Well, let’s see here.” I place my hands on the counter, one on either side of her. “You had sex with Kent and Kyle on graduation night, got knocked up, left for Paris, had a botched abortion and…”
“And what? Just say it. You’re revolted by me because of it. You don’t have to say the words. I can read you.”
“I don’t want to fight anymore… That’s all,” I say.
“I don’t, either. I just want to be honest. I guess you don’t want that.”
“I can’t tell you what to do. You’re a grown woman, been making interesting choices for a while now.”
“That sounds judgmental.” Ruby cocks her head as color bleaches from her face.
“I was put on this earth to love you. I know that is the truest thing in my heart. But you’ve made all kinds of choices that have and will affect us. I just hope, as they continue to show themselves, they don’t blow us off course entirely.”
“If we can’t talk without it destroying us, what good are we?”
“What’s good mean to you? I feel like, every time I get you naked, something else falls out of your mouth that has you crying or confessing. Shit, maybe we ought to just keep our clothes on from now on. I’m almost afraid to touch you.”
“Do you resent me?”
“You want the truth?” I say, ready to fire out something I shouldn’t.
Ruby’s gaze drops from mine as her shoulders slump and she whispers, “I just got it.”
Chapter 38
Ruby
I hop off the counter and scramble into my clothes. The hollow in my chest and the knots in my belly collide in a painful reunion I know too well to ignore. Rebel’s hand clamps around my bicep before I make it to the door. He spins me, hurt hanging heavily on his brow, disappointment clenched on his jaw. What’s in his heart? Can we get past things we may never discuss?
“How the hell did I fail you?” His voice cracks along with my forged composure.
“You ready for this, Rebel?” We could lose everything if I tell him. We still might if I don’t. Either way, we’re on the line. “You want the truth?”
He rams his palms onto his forehead. “Fuck, Ruby. What are we doing?”
“We’re dancing around.” I turn, ready to leave. “This is what most couples who keep secrets do. They dance around topics until they lose each other for good.”
“We’re not most couples.”
“What are we, then?”
Rebel hauls me onto his waist, my legs wrapping his hips as he walks us back to the kitchen. In one level sweep, the tablecloth and its toppings crash to the ground. Candle flames die on the floor as heat inside me burns.
“Don’t say anything else,” Rebel whispers as he places me on the table’s edge. “Just touch me.”
I work his jeans open, my fingers somehow maneuvering in tugs and greedy jerks. He kisses my neck, licking and sucking…making me insane the way his tongue finds tiny orgasmic spots I never knew existed. I slip my hands inside his briefs, his long thick cock, hot to the touch, heavily veined and ready for me, the tip already wet.
In seconds, he strips me down, continuing his ravenous consumption of every inch of my body. I fist handfuls of his hair when he buries his face between my legs, then mouths and nibbles a path across my stomach and up to my breasts. Squeezing my rib cage, then each breast with wide spread hands, he sucks and devotes himself to me in a way I’ve never experienced with anyone else. Then he demolishes me with his kiss. And Jesus…in it is an intensity and ownership that I meet with a fervor I’ve never known myself to fall into. His mouth open and wet, his tongue jutting past my lips with force and passion. He groans, one hand sliding behind my neck as he pulls me into him, making me wonder if my lips will be bruised tomorrow. But I don’t care, all I want is more of him. I shove his jeans and briefs past his hips, my nails scraping his skin as I hurry to get him bare. My need for him to be inside me makes me wild, an uncontrollable eagerness for his skin to be on mine, his body to be in mine, his heart to wrap itself around my own so tightly that we’re locked for life.
He shoves my thighs back, grabs my hands, kisses my fingertips, then places them on the insides of my knees. “Hold them there, open and wide. Can you do that?” I nod, mesmerized by him. I would do anything he’d ask of me right now, anything at all. “Good, I want you spread.” His voice is hoarse and dark, like he might detonate into the core of the earth. I fall backward, relaxing in my spread eagle-like pose, waiting for whatever he wants to do to me…with me. The heat between us ratchets up when he rubs his length along my wet slit and says, “Look at us. Look at us there.” I awkwardly lift onto my elbows while still holding myself wide for him. “You see that, Ruby? You see your wet pussy all over me and how hard my cock is for you?”
I nod, so turned on by his words I can’t find any of my own.
“Watch it, baby…watch me impale you.” He curves a hand around my waist, then stares into my eyes with a hunger that sends a bolt of energy through me so strong I might call it whiplash if it didn’t feel so euphoric.
“Look there, watch me fuck you, baby.” I drop my gaze to where we meet. He thrusts fast, once. Deep. His balls snugged against my ass. His chest rising and falling rapidly, sweat beading and rivering between his pecs. He seats himself for long seconds, his grip on my waist a lifeline. “Rebel.” I lean onto him, my forehead against his chest, then my ear to hear and
feel his heartbeat, and the truth in it. Wrapping my legs around him, I lean back on the table. He grins while perusing my naked body. Slowly, he pulls out to his tip, then presses my thighs back hard and thrusts into me again so deep that I cry out, his hunger startling and exciting me as our hips fuse when he impales me with need time and again. He yanks my ass past the edge of the table and grunts when he looks to where we meet and thrusts hard again. Each penetration an electrical current that rides up my middle, connecting to every nerve in my body.
“I want you to love me,” I say.
“I never stopped.”
“Love me now, no matter what happens…no matter...”
“Shhh, baby.” He leans over my body, his lips capturing mine, crushing me with a worship-filled kiss. His fingers dig into my hips and tow me onto his rigid shaft again.
Messy kisses, tangled hair, and whispers of need and want swallow me. His strain, sweat, and fervor marry my whimpers and abandon. The friction… Fuck, it’s…good. No, it’s insane. We’re a fever that’s burning, rivers that are meeting and becoming one. We’re lost in our togetherness, so lost that we’re found.
“Ruby.”
I have nothing but elation and freedom as I writhe under him. Sweat from his chest drips onto my breasts, a look of surrender on his mouth as I tighten and release in a full-bodied, delirious orgasm.
“You’re merciless,” I utter as he falls onto me.
“You’re a goddess.”
“You sound drugged.”
“I am. I’m fucking high. I’ve wanted to fuck you like that since we were teenagers.” Rebel cradles me onto his lap, his clothes under us as we slump onto the floor amidst the rubble.
“I remember so much about us,” I say.
“Me too.” He drags his nose along mine.
This is all I want: tender moments and the comfort of being in his arms again.
“What do you remember the most?” I ask.
“How much I missed you… There was so much to miss about you. Your laugh when I’d make you a cake from scratch. Your whimpers when you came on my tongue under the oak trees where we rode horses. Your eyes when they glittered with love… I always felt loved by you, Ruby.”
Sunshine Bleeds A Black Edge (The Wild Things (standalone) Book 3) Page 15