by Sarah Dosher
“Whatever you have to say, go ahead.” I felt my stomach turn and my blood pressure rise, right along with his reluctance. I had no idea what he was going to say, but I figured if it was complicated for such a straight forward man that it had to be bad.
“Well, the fact of the matter is, I’m worried about Lily. When I spoke with her today, her father was here and he didn’t react kindly to this situation.”
“Was it necessary to call her father? I’m sure you know just as well as anyone else about her father and the thousands of reasons why he shouldn’t have been here.” The fear in the pit of my stomach that had been brewing completely spilled over. “Is this why she wasn’t in school this afternoon? Did she go home with him?” I quickly stood from my chair, ready to tear out of this office and hunt Lily down to make sure she was safe.
“Slow down, Dean. I know she’s safe. I had Sheriff Andy check on her.” I gave him what I knew was a very quizzical look. “I was also worried about her after she left so I called Sheriff Andy and asked him to please check on her. He said when he left she was locked in her bedroom and her father was gone. I know you’ve been away for quite some time, so it probably seems like we don’t care what he does to Lily, but I can promise we’ve done our best to help.” He rubbed his hands over his face several times before letting out a slow shaky breath. “Did you know that I went to school with Michael and your father?”
“No, I didn’t know that, but it makes sense. I know my dad and Lily’s dad were friends at some point in their life. Grandma Violet always said she figured that’s what made Easton and I so inseparable.”
“Well I imagine there are lots of connections between your family and Lily’s family that you might not be aware of.” He leaned back in his overstuffed office chair and his eyes glazed over as he relived the past. “Michael, John, and I were great friends growing up. There were others in our group of friends, but the three of us were thick as thieves until we were old enough for girls to come into the picture. Did you know Lily’s mom and your dad dated for a long time when we were younger?”
“I’ve heard stories, but I don’t know much about it.”
“All three of us tried our best to win Julie over, but it was always your dad that she had eyes for. She was always nice to Michael and me, but she never really had any interest in us romantically. She was such a spitfire and everyone loved her. I see a lot of her in Lily.” His nostalgic face suddenly turned sad. “Her rejection was really tough on Michael. It wasn’t long before I found other girls that were more than happy to return my advances, but I’m not sure that Michael even looked at another girl the entire time.”
“What happened? I know my dad was wild, is that what changed everything?”
“Well, I think that was part of the problem. Your dad always had girls after him and I think that was hard on Julie, but Michael was there for her anytime your dad messed things up. We were stupid kids dealing with very adult feelings, so things got out of control. I’m not going to tell you all the dramatic details, but in the end it ruined our friendships and Michael came out of it with the girl. None of them were ever the same. Your dad pulled further away from everyone that loved him, Michael became very hostile towards everything, and Julie seemed to just sit back and let things happen around her. Shortly after high school Julie got pregnant and married Michael. Not long after, your father had his accident and died.”
“Why are you telling me all this?”
“When Michael was here today he got very angry that you were involved and that Lily was spending any time around you. He yelled at Lily - told her she was just like her mother because she couldn’t stay away from the Havens. He brought up a lot of memories and I thought you had a right to know.”
“Michael and I had an encounter when I came back to town. Things got physical and so I have no doubt that he doesn’t want me around.”
“That may be the case, but I also think his history with your dad plays a role in it. I worry about Lily and I’m afraid he’s going to take everything out on her. The Sheriff said that when he arrived it looked like he had already started and Lily had a large red mark across her face. He tried to get Lily to tell him what happened, but she made up a story about tripping over something.”
“Yeah, I’ve heard those stories too.”
“I think she needs to tell the truth about what he’s doing to her or she needs to get out of that house, far away from him.” Principal York had a serious scowl on his face.
“I’ve tried and tried until I’m blue in the face. For some reason she feels she owes him something or maybe her guilt is keeping her there, I don’t really know. Sometimes I think she has so many emotions tying her to her father she doesn’t even know why she stays there. Unless something big happens, she won’t leave. She stayed at our house last night, but I don’t know if she will again.” I left out the part where I threatened to tie her to my bed if she didn’t agree to stay.
“With everything that happened today I think that’s a good idea. Might even be good for her to move in there permanently.” The look in his eyes worried me.
“It was that bad?”
“Dean, I was frightened for everyone in my office. I had no intention of Michael being here and I never imagined that Mindi would feel the need to contact him.”
“Mindi? She called him to come here when she knew what you were going to be discussing? Let me guess, she’s also the one that told you we were having an inappropriate relationship?” He briefly looked stunned by my question.
“Yes. However, it wasn’t until after the meeting that I figured out she had other motives behind her allegations. I really can’t apologize enough, but I still think you're better off not flaunting your relationship, no matter the history you have with her. This will go in your file and of course my findings will be what’s most important, but you don’t need another allegation.”
“I understand. If that’s all you need from me, I’m going to go find Lily and make sure she’s okay.”
“Yes. Please let me know if she needs anything. I feel like I’ve failed her, but I don’t know what else to do for her at this point.”
“Principal York, you’ve done right by Lily, especially today. I don’t think you could have done anything else because Lily wouldn’t have allowed it.” He closed his eyes and nodded to me before I left his office.
I didn’t even bother trying to call her again. I just rushed to my truck and sped to her house. I was relatively sure she was okay. I knew Sheriff Andy wouldn’t have left her alone if he thought she was still in immediate trouble.
When I pulled into her driveway her car was there and thankfully her father’s truck wasn’t. I parked my truck on the side of the house to hide it from anyone driving by. I saw Red perched on the post next to her door and figured that was a good sign she was home. That damn bird really did follow her everywhere she went. I made my way to her door, eyeing Red the entire time. He simply stared back and tilted his head from side to side, probably sizing me up.
“You’re a weird bird, you know that?”
I reached to knock on the door, but Red flew from his perch and landed on the ground next to me. He flapped his wings several times, walking toward me. I instinctively backed away from the door.
“You don’t want me to see her?” He tilted his head in response. “Okay, then what do you want me to do?” I didn’t even get a head tilt this time. I took a step back towards the door and he took a couple steps back. I reached for the door knob and he didn’t move. I tried to twist, but the door was obviously locked. I saw the electronic keypad that she used to effectively keep her father out.
“Don’t suppose you know the code to unlock the door?” I didn’t know what kind of response I was expecting, but I didn’t get a head tilt. This time Red just looked up in the air. This really was a strange bird. I could see why she had convinced herself it was some kind of reincarnation of Easton.
That was it!
I had an idea what the code
to the keypad was. I entered Easton’s birthday but nothing happened. I really had thought that would be it, but I guess Lily was smarter then that. Her brother’s birthday wasn’t very imaginative and would have been easy for anyone to find out. Although her father probably didn’t remember Easton’s birthday, but even he could track it down easily. I decided to try a trick I’d been told about in the past - I entered Easton’s birthday backwards and felt my heart jump when the door unlocked. I heard Red make a noise that sounded like a groan before he flew away.
I opened the door slowly, not wanting to scare Lily. I peeked around the corner and saw her lying on the bed. She was curled on her side with the pillow smushed against her face, sleeping soundly. I wasn’t going to wake her, but I wasn’t going to leave her here alone either.
Her room was not what I expected. She had obviously spent time and money making it exactly how she wanted it to look. I remembered this room from the few occasions I’d came to their house as a kid, but it looked completely different now. It used to be a neglected den where old furniture went to die, making it the perfect kid’s hideaway. I think they spent so much time here because their parents rarely did. Not that they had much interaction with them to start with, but I do remember several times when Easton would get into a fight with his dad. It was usually over nothing and I knew Easton did his best to shield Lily from their father.
There wasn’t much furniture in the room now, but what was here was all new and fairly simple. Exactly what Lily would buy. I knew from the stories she’d told me about hiding out in here from her father that this room was her sanctuary, the only place she felt safe. She had taken a horrible life and sheltered herself from it the only way she could.
Just when the sun was setting behind the horizon, Christmas lights came on near Lily’s bed. They were hanging on the wall in a pattern of a sunflower. There were pictures in the openings of each petal. Some pictures were from her childhood, but most were of places around town and Red. I knew she’d taken all of them because she always had an eye for what was most beautiful in this world. In the center of the sunflower was a picture of Easton, Lily, and me that was taken not long before he died.
Lily quietly whimpered in her sleep and kicked the covers off her body. I sat near her on the bed and lightly stroked her arm to try and calm her. She rolled over and pulled herself to my side, wrapping her arms around me. The side of her face that had been hidden in the pillow was covered with one huge bruise. I could see the edge of a bruise on her side peeking from beneath her tank top, so I carefully pulled on her shirt until I could see a large round bruise extending from her side onto her stomach. I had to take several deep breathes to calm myself. This shouldn’t have happened. She should never have to deal with this abuse and once again I was the cause of her pain. I was the reason her father had hit her.
I felt tears building in my eyes; not sad tears, but angry tears. Mindi wouldn’t get away with this. She knew what Michael was capable of, but she called him to get her revenge. She shouldn’t be a counselor; she shouldn’t even be allowed around students.
“I’m not leaving,” Lily croaked, breaking me from my revenge.
“What?” I asked surprised she was awake.
“I know you’re here to make me come to your house, but I’m not leaving.” Her voice sounded strained.
“We’ll get to that. But first, what’s wrong with your voice?”
“Trauma to the throat, I guess, but it doesn’t hurt. I bet it’ll be fine tomorrow.” She shrugged like it was no big deal.
“You know I hate when you act like this abuse is no big deal. At least show a little emotion about it.”
She pulled away from me and pulled her knees to her chest, holding them tight. “What do you want me to say, Dean? I’m scared? Because you know that I‘m terrified. But you wanna know something else? Today was the first time that I felt like I could actually stand up to him. Obviously I didn’t do a very good job, but I didn’t just stand there and let him hit me. I tried to get away and if I would have been able to, I’d have fought back.” She had a gleam in her eye that was apparently a newfound strength. I wasn’t going to take that away from her.
“I’m sorry. I don’t mean to immediately start an argument with you. You weren’t around all afternoon and you wouldn’t answer your phone. Then I found out about the meeting with York and what Sheriff Andy saw. I panicked.”
“And so you decided to break into my room again? First the hotel and now here.” She smiled.
“Yeah, I guess I kinda freaked out and broke into your room, but you’ve broken into my room before too - don’t forget that night at the hotel.” A small smile played on her lips. “I think it was Red’s idea to break in this time though, so you should take it up with him.” We both laughed. It was so good to hear her laugh. She didn’t do it often enough for my liking. “So I can see the side of you face and your stomach. Is that it? Or do you need to show me more?”
She shook her head and reached out to hold my hand. “No, that’s all really. It really wasn’t bad. We weren’t here very long before the Sheriff showed up and stopped it.”
“I’m really glad he was here, but I wish you would’ve let me know you were coming home. You know I would have left class and been there.”
“Of course, I know that, but you shouldn’t have to jump and run every time there’s a possibility that I’ll be alone with my father.” She stared across the room for several seconds. “Dean, he’s really losing it. He doesn’t want me around you and he’s making really horrible threats about it.” Her scratchy voice was shaky, giving away her fear. I pulled her close.
“Don’t you dare worry about me. You have enough to worry about without adding me to the list. How was the meeting with York?”
“He wasn’t bad, he actually helped me a lot. My father and Mindi were the bad parts. She really has it out for me now. You know that, right?”
“I didn’t understand how much until today, but I won’t make that mistake again,” I assured her. “York stopped me on my way out of school this afternoon and told me about the meeting. He also suggested we not be seen together, just in case.”
“He’s got a point. I don’t want you to get in trouble at the school or with your college just because of me and I really don’t want my father to see us. School’s almost over anyway. Then none of this will matter.”
“I know that and I can’t wait, but I’m not staying away from you if that’s what you’re hinting at, so you might as well just drop it right now. We belong to each other and no one is going to take you away from me again.” I held her face, staring right into her eyes looking for any signs of doubt, but saw only crystal clear blue eyes staring back. “So are you coming home with me, or am I staying the night here? Because you aren’t staying alone.”
I woke up that morning and something was different. Dean had stayed the night so I slept without the nightmares that always plagued me, but that wasn’t it. I couldn’t quite put my finger on what it was, but I felt different, like I was waiting for something special that I knew was coming. Like Christmas morning, when you’re waiting for your parents to wake up so you can open your presents.
Dean was already gone when I finally got out of bed to get ready for school. I stood in front of the mirror, staring at my battered face. Almost the entire right side was covered with a purple bruise. Sadly, I was actually happy that at least my lip wasn’t busted. My face would hurt enough without having to deal with a healing lip. I laughed as I thought that the coloring of the bruise made my blue eyes stand out and look even more vibrant.
I lightly pressed on the bruise. The pain was welcomed. It reminded me of how I’d actually tried to defend myself. Well not really defend myself, but at least I tried to get away from his abuse instead of just allowing it to happen like I always had. The very first time he hit me I froze, thinking it was all a bad dream. It was only weeks after the tornado and I was lying in bed crying when my father flung my door open and dragged me out o
f bed. It was the middle of the night and my sobs were keeping him awake. I was fourteen years old and he’d barely touched me in years, not even so much as a hug. When he hit me I just cowered on the floor and begged to wake up from the nightmare and find my brother.
I decided I wasn’t even going to put makeup on and try to hide it. I wanted to wear it as a badge. This was the first bruise I’d actively earned, and for the first time I was proud to wear it. I could feel myself growing taller and my shoulder’s straightening. I’d found the courage I thought I’d never had. It was buried deep down inside me, but my father had finally beaten it to the surface and I was happy it had arrived.
When I pulled in to the student parking lot at school, Dean was standing in my usual parking spot. He looked worse than I did today and he was still wearing the same clothes. His shoulders were hunched over as if he was trying to curl into himself and hide. This wasn’t like Dean which told me something was wrong. We’d barely been apart for an hour, what could have happened? I sat in my car, staring straight ahead for several seconds and trying to savor the last few breathes of that sweet courage I’d found before it was pushed back down.
I opened my door, but didn’t get out or even look toward him. “What happened? Just tell me, don’t beat around the bush. Just come out with it, all of it.”
“Someone broke into the house last night. Nothing was touched except for my room, which was pretty much destroyed. Adley’s fine. She didn’t come home until late because she fell asleep at Derek’s. She didn’t hear anything, so it must have been before she got home.” He paused for an eternity while I simply breathed. “Look at me, Lily.”
I shook my head. “I don’t want to. When I woke up this morning, I felt good. No matter what I looked like on the outside, I felt strong inside. I don’t want to look at your face and know that how I felt was a lie.”