by SJ Molloy
“Thank you, but shouldn’t Marissa have it?”
“She knows the recipes inside out, she could re-write it from memory alone. I had her cooking when she was a mere toddler and Orianna has no interest in cooking, it has never been her thing. I do hope she finds a husband that can cook because she certainly won’t do it.”
“Wow, it’s the most thoughtful, generous, precious thing anyone has ever given me. I shall guard it with my life and look after it. I would love to be able to cook some of these recipes.” I stroke my fingers over it. I feel tears well up in my eyes.
“Don’t cry. I’m glad you like it. Now, I want you to make sure my great grandchildren learn to cook from an early age.”
Lucca bursts out laughing as he puts his hand around my waist and kisses my head. “Nonna, I’m sure our kids will be great in the kitchen. I’m not too bad myself, you know. If they take their beauty and kindness from Lexi, and my culinary skills, I will be a happy man.” Sofia smiles at him and Franco agrees with Lucca, patting him on the back.
Did I just skip five years into the future?
Maybe I have been asleep for a few months and have waked up pregnant. My heart is pounding, stomach rippling but not in my usual anxious way, more of an excited anticipated flutter. I like that Lucca intends to have me in his future but the prospect I would ever be a mom myself, having his children and speaking of such thing so early on in our relationship is freaking me out.
That’s a whole designated area in the mental library for those thoughts.
After the Doctor prescribes me strong painkillers to help with my wrist and antibiotics, I’m told I can leave. Lucca laughs a little at the irony when the Doctor suggests I will need physiotherapy on my wrist to help with the recovery.
Marco and Lucca pack the car up and we get ready to go. I leave round bubbly nurse a bouquet of my flowers; she’s overwhelmed, even more so that Lucca has gave her a kiss to thank her. I roll my eyes at the flashy outfit that Anna was responsible for picking. It’s a black mini skirt with gold embroidery and beading and a black sheer top with a gold camisole underneath and gold flat gladiator type sandals which are beautiful but look ridiculous as I have white dressings on my feet.
When we pull up to the farmhouse, I feel nervous about entering. Lucca looks a little better than that of Sunday, fresher and more relaxed. I really do want to make this work, so I am talking myself into telling him about my past. Lucca lifts me up and walks me straight through the house to the back, outside. He sits me down on the comfy love seat in the corner facing the pool and places a blanket over my legs. I watch the sun lowering in the horizon over the sprawling green countryside, and listen to the birds chirping from the orange trees. I close my eyes and drift off to sleep.
I waken to Andrea Bocelli’s, Because We Believe. I stretch out and laugh. This was the song I heard when I first saw Lucca and fainted at Sofia and Franco’s Villa di Tartufi. It’s a sign.
He leans over me, kisses my lips then lifts me up and carries me back through the house to the lounge room. He has the fire lit, pillar candles flickering, and there’s a vase of blue orchid flowers on the hearth of the fire surround. He has set a duvet on the thick carpet with lots of cushions. He sits me down on the makeshift bed, then returns with plates of food. He has made a warm salad with marinated scallops, king prawns, black pudding, rocket, spinach, sun dried tomatoes, caramelized balsamic onions and parmesan.
“Where on earth did you get the black pudding from? This looks lovely and smells great.”
“Marco picked it up from a specialist butcher in town. Since we won’t be going home soon, I thought I would bring home to you.”
“Thank you.” I surprise myself by eating it all.
Lucca sits behind me, wrapping his arms tightly around my body. I turn and face him, placing my hand on his cheek. “How do you feel? I need to give you your tablets soon.”
“My wrist is aching, but I’m much better than I was thanks. Lucca… I want to talk to you about something.”
“Okay. Sure, what’s up?”
“I want to tell you about my past.” I sigh.
“We don’t need to do this now. You can wait, or write it down for me.”
My stomach stirs in a twisting storm. “I…I ...don’t have my journal.” This was maybe the worst thing about Sunday night; knowing my escape to confession was obstructed.
“I’m so sorry. I was not in a good place, and my mind was all over the place. I regret what I did, Doc.”
“No, it’s okay. Its only paper. I just thought I would gradually be able to note things down. It just felt easier, like an opportunity to express some of my anxieties and sentiments.”
“I’m so, so sorry. I will make this up to you, I promise.” He pinches his brow with his middle finger and thumb while closing his eyes shut.
“Hey, it’s okay. Lucca, the reality is that I shouldn’t need paper. I need to learn to open up and talk about my worries. When I met Francesca, I realized that nothing good will come of staying closed, so here goes…”
I take a deep breath.
“My mom was abducted. She was backpacking in Australia with her friend when she was nineteen. She was captured, brutally abused and assaulted both physically and mentally for fourteen years. My grandparents thought she was dead. She fell pregnant and had Cameron and myself to a monster, an unforgivable evil bastard who took her life. Then she delivered a still born baby a few years after I was born and suffered a miscarriage in-between. She felt sorry for Simon, through time. That’s the reason I have nightmares, the scarring on my back, I was-”
“Jesus… Fuck, stop. I don’t need to hear any more.” Lucca interrupts.
“I owe you this. I want to tell you.”
“No, I want to understand. Really, I do, but it’s better to write it down in your journal for me, Lexi. I understand now why you shut me out, and I understand your insecurities. It will never change the way I feel about you. You are beautiful and special, and your mother is blessed to have you. Fate has brought us together, and I have no intention of letting you go. It just hurts to hear the truth because I care so deeply and I love you.”
His hand wraps protectively around my waist pulling me further back into his embrace to kiss my cheek sweetly. I’m safe…
We hold each other, listening to the soothing music of Jack Johnson’s Better Together by the crackling sound of the fire. I don’t think I want to be anywhere else right now than in his arms. “Lexi, the comment I made today about kids, I meant what I said. I would love to have children with you someday when the time is right. I want you, all of you and I would love you to have our babies.”
Oh my God.
My heart melts. My wings taking to the skies,
Flight Airline Romeo but five years too soon.
“Oh well thank goodness you said, someday… I was beginning to think you wanted to rush me down the aisle wearing a maternity dress with a growing baby in the next few months.” Lucca giggles while he fondles with curls of my hair, he lifts my vest up and places his hand on my stomach, my whole body convulsing under his touch “Would that be so bad, you are my life now, I’ll take you and your body anyway I can even with a massive baby bump, in fact…the thought of it is turning me on.” He kisses my lips claiming my mouth.
“Hold up Romeo. If you think I am carting around a baby bump any time soon you can forget it.”
“Well we will see, but right now I’d like to have you all to myself, we need to get lots of practice in before we have kids interrupting us.”
Fuck!
File under P for persistent. Persistent fucking pest.
He traces his fingers over my naval. “Lucca, stop it! You’re being ridiculous, and there will be no kids for me now or in the future. I’m far too messed up to bring another person into my life.”
He pauses, considering what I’ve said. “Well, you brought me into your life and I’m fine. In fact, I’m more than fine. I love you. You would be an amazing mother because you’re so caring, l
oving and warm hearted. You’ll change your mind, Doc. You just need to let me love you, you’ll see.”
“This persistence will need to go. If you want me to live with you, I’ m taking a stand, Romeo. I want you, but it’s a definite no to the babies.” I need to be firm here and I’m not backing down.
He smiles, taking my bottom lip in his teeth seductively, then licks where his teeth have been. “Can I make love to my dolcezza?”
“Did you just hear what I said? We are not planning on having kids, Lucca. I’ve only just met you. My granny will die a thousand deaths if she thought I was having a baby out of marriage. She’s over protective and because of my mom’s misfortune in life she wants nothing but the best for me.”
Lucca’s hand climbs under my mini skirt to my lace panties. He slips them down my legs while he nibbles the bottom of my ear.
“She’ll love the idea when she sees how happy and in love we are and how well I will be able to look after you. The best you shall have, I promise you, just like I’m about to have the best now.” He groans as he strokes my sensitive area.
“No, you don’t. Don’t think you are charming me into having sex with your lovey dovey smooth words.”
“What? Not even if I let my tongue do the talking?” Within seconds, his tongue is circling my sweet spot.
I groan. “You so don’t play fair, Romeo. I want you, but you need to get a condom. I missed my pill yesterday, remember?”
I know I’m not fertile as I was at the end of my pill pack and the doctor confirmed it for me but I’m testing him to see if he will be prepared to wear one. If I was fertile, I’d not be having unprotected sex with him especially after his new idea of wanting a baby.
He ignores me and continues with the slick sweeping over my flesh and enters his fingers inside me.
Heaven.
“Oh my God, please don’t stop….” I throw my head back into the cushion, and the tension I have been holding for the last few days transpires into a paroxysm of an intensive, sensitive rush. I shout, reaching my climax almost instantly, triggering every nerve in my body, climbing to a peak of pure bliss. I exhale the breath of air I’ve been holding onto while I clutch onto him.
“Are you feeling well enough to make love to me? I want to be inside you. I’ve missed you and I need you, baby.” His husky bedroom voice is back and I desperately desire him.
“Yes, but you ‘aint’ getting any action until you get a condom,”
“Can we negotiate? What about if I withdraw?” I consider it as I want him so badly.
“No deal. Condom or cold turkey.”
“Fuck sake Lex, your killing me here.” I cross my legs and wave my finger suggesting forbidding access, he frowns, shakes his head and mumbles something under his breath and disappears up to the bedroom. He returns sulking with a pack of condoms...
I’m getting stronger and more assertive. I like this new me.
“Thank you, I love you, now you can have me” I whisper smiling at his roguish petted lip. “Baby, I want to take it slow with you tonight” he leans over me and claims my mouth, our tongues dancing a sweet tango, soft, sensual and seductive.
We listen to Lady Antebellums, I Need You Now on his varied playlist, which enhances our mood. “I love your music” I say in between our passionate kisses “And I love you. I’ve missed this, God, I need you so badly.”
One of my favorite songs plays, Jason Mraz’s I Won’t Give Up.
“I love this song too,” I whisper, then grab the belt loop on his jeans and pull him closer, rocking my hips purposely to meet him. His eyes are eclectic with lust burning at me. He unzips my skirt at the side, slips it down my legs, then trails his hands under the vest top and slides it up, pulling it over my head. He nuzzles his face in my cleavage and kisses my breasts.
“Fuck…I love your bra, but I love you naked better. Your tits are amazing, baby. I need them in my mouth.” He unclasps the front and takes it off me. My nipples are already hard, waiting for him. “Fuck, I’ve missed you so much. I need you so badly. You’re sexy as fuck, irresistible.”
His kissing begins at my lips, under my ears to my neck, then down to my heavy, achy breasts. He groans as he teases my nipples, tracing them with his tongue. I reach down and hold onto one of my breasts, massaging it while he teases the other. I feel his tongue trace over my fingers then to my nipple. I put my finger in his mouth and he sucks it. In response my throbbing womb feels like it has a heartbeat triggering a beating vibration deep inside me. If he stays here I will soar again just by this alone.
“Lucca, take your clothes off. I want you naked.”
He slowly takes his top off in a raunchy, seductive way, dropping it on the makeshift bed. I devour the sight of this Italian God.
My Italian God.
I will never get tired of this vision. He undoes the top button on his jeans, hanging on his hips accentuating that deep V and, showing the waistband of his expensive boxer shorts. He slides his hand down and grabs his bulge readjusting it. I nearly choke and have to swallow hard, watching him hold his erection in front of me...taking his jeans off...his boxers...freeing his mighty arousal...
He kneels down between my legs, kissing over my navel and back to my breasts. His caress is soft, tender and attentive. I feel so wanted, so special. I reach down with my pain free hand and take his length, stroking then grasping his shaft tightly, moving from root to tip.
He throws his head back. “Baby, fuck, that’s good. I want you over and over. I need to love you, to make love to you. Right. Fuckin. Now.”
The golden sensual light from the fire and candles flickering over his body is making me desperate for him. I just can’t wait any longer either. I need him. “Lucca, please, I need you.”
He positions himself, ready for entry.
“Have you forgotten something?”
“Aww, baby, can we not just…”
“No, get it on.” I giggle. He places the condom on reluctantly then I lean up to kiss him on the lips. I’m excited to my core; the anticipation is getting too much, my hot damp sensitivity is pulsing frenziedly and flaring with a new burning desire.
Staring into each other’s eyes with nothing but complete love for one another, he enters me slowly, stilling, then draws back a little and thrusts into me in one swift plunge. I wince, then buckle in response, tightening my hot contractive muscles around him and digging my nails into the broad muscles of his back while my core flutters with rippling pleasure.
The song changes to Lady Antebellum’s I Run To You. He keeps his head tight in the crook of my neck, biting on my shoulder, “Jesus, Lexi, I have missed you so much. You feel so good.” His deep voice strains in appreciation.
“Lucca… Lucca I need…”
I’ve never needed anything as much as I need this right now with him. He deepens himself, swelling inside me, but still keeping it slow and long, savoring the moment. I tighten my legs around him and dig my fingers into his back as he lovingly, slowly, penetrates deeper each time, hitting that sweet spot. I lift my hips up to meet him for more closeness. Our thrusting is gentle, but equally as satisfying the way he slowly moves, filling me, driving me into a frenzied euphoric state with the sentiment. We shift and devour every buried plunge. Stroking and gently kissing, touching sympathetically, forgiving one another.
I cry loudly as he picks up a speed, intensifying the pressure. “More, yes….faster!” I cry out.
He grits his teeth, then tenses his jaw with primal mission; panting feverishly, he bangs and thumps, nearing his crest. “Fuck, Lexi, I’m nearly there. I want you to come for me, you’re driving me….”
It’s enough to render me senseless. As Lucca becomes unyielding, we both shout each other’s names as we climb to a summit of extreme utopia. It’s a complete dazed, starry eyes moment, because of the gentle love we feel for each other and tenderness we’ve showed one another. A few tears drop from my eyes. Lucca kisses a tear trickling down my cheek then moistens my own lips with his
wet kissing.
I don’t want to lose him from inside me. I keep my legs around him while our breathing regulates.
He stares at me with his bright blue eyes having the sparkle back. Doc, promise you won’t leave me. I need you, want you and can’t imagine not having you like this in my life.” There is apprehension in his voice and eyes.
“Lucca, I’m not going anywhere. I gave you my heart and I promise I’ll try to be more confiding in you. I want you to be happy and I don’t want to burden you with my darkness, so I’ll try hard to figure myself out.”
“No baby, stop this. You’re not burdening me. You’re giving me hope and love of the best kind. I’m going to love you and help you sort this out. Please, just trust me. I’m making it my mission to bring you into the light, Lexi.”
I stroke my fingers over his lower back. “You are my something special.”
He melts into my neck, and we hold each other closely as we listen to Lady Antebellum’s Heart Of The World.
“So how was it with the condom?” I ask.
“Do you really need me to answer that? Was it not obvious? You were amazing, but I prefer you, the feel of you. Seriously, Lexi, how long are you going to make me do this?”
“Well you managed to have a colourful sex life using condoms with the other woman all these years” I add rousing my jealously that other women have all shared his body too. It’s disconcerting to me. “That was not you, and none of that mattered, you do”. After he slides out me, he ties the condom up and asks “Ready for bed?”
“Mmn hmm.”
He blows out the candles and carries me up to bed, covering my eyes with his hands. He places me down on the bed, then releases his hands from my eyes and on my pillow is a brand new indigo silk journal with a little box sitting on top of it. I shake my head and open the journal, he has written the same message in it, but has added a blue orchid flower which has been pressed in the front pages. With the words:
‘Mi dispiace, io ti amo, ti prego, perdonami. X’
‘I am sorry, I love you, please forgive me x’
I run my fingers over the words. “Yes, I forgive you, I love you.”