by Penny Jordan
As he left, she found herself feeling almost sorry for him. Poor Joss, how desperately he must want a son to inherit her grandfather’s title.
She marvelled at the lengths to which such a need could drive a man, especially a man of Joss’s intelligence, and then went sadly back to the study and checked on the details for the morning’s wedding.
CHAPTER FOUR
‘YOU’VE arrived at last. Come on in and let me have a look at you.’
Extricating herself from her friend’s hug, Nell walked with her up the path. Liz’s home was several miles outside Cambridge, an untidy, rambling rectory she and her husband were half-way through renovating. It had a large garden with herbaceous borders, almost totally overgrown with weeds, and Liz’s little girl lay asleep in a pram, under an apple tree in the back garden.
‘She’s just gone down,’ Liz told Nell. ‘So we’ve got at least an hour to chat and I want to hear everything,’ she told her friend warningly, ‘and I do mean everything. You and Joss—honestly, Nell, I can hardly believe it even now. How long has it been going on? I had no idea the two of you were involved. What a dark horse you are,’ she said affectionately.
‘We’re not—involved, I mean,’ Nell said flatly. ‘It’s what you might call a marriage of convenience.’
‘What?’ Liz put down the coffee-jug that she was filling with water and stared at her friend.
‘It’s a business arrangement, Liz,’ Nell told her doggedly. ‘Joss is marrying me because he wants the family name and the house, and because he hopes that one day our son will inherit Gramps’ title, and I’m marrying him because it means I can keep my home and the staff.’
‘A marriage of convenience. Good heavens!’ Liz exclaimed in a failing voice, goggling at her. ‘How very Georgette Heyer.’ And then, more seriously when she saw Nell’s face, she said, ‘Nell, are you sure? When you told me you were engaged, I felt sure it could only be because you were head over heels in love, knowing you the way I do.’
‘I am,’ Nell told her painfully. ‘I love Joss, but I know he doesn’t love me.’
‘Oh, Nell.’ Liz put down the coffee-jug and came over to her putting her arms round her. ‘Oh, my dear, are you sure you know what you’re doing? Life isn’t like a novel, you know, with the hero falling madly in love with the heroine after he marries her. Do you really know what you’re letting yourself in for?’
‘Yes,’ Nell told her bleakly. ‘Don’t worry. I’m not a complete idiot, Liz. I know quite well Joss is never going to fall in love with me.’
‘Oh, Nell, I wish you’d reconsider,’ Liz said sitting down beside her. ‘I know you. You may be able to cope now, but are you going to cope in the years to come?’
‘I’ll find a way,’ Nell told her.
‘Must you go through with it?’ Liz pleaded.
Nell looked at her. ‘Yes, I have to.’
She saw the look on her friend’s face and smiled. ‘No, Liz, nothing like that. But when Gramps died I promised him that I’d do everything that I could to keep the house and the estate in the family.’
‘A deathbed promise,’ Liz derided. ‘Oh, Nell, how could he do that to you?’
‘Liz, please,’ Nell protested, her voice wavering slightly. ‘My mind’s made up.’
And, seeing the anguish in her eyes, Liz sighed. ‘Very well. I won’t say another word. Oh, Nell, marriage can be hard, even when you are in love with one another. I hate to think what it’s going to be like for you.’
‘I’ll manage,’ Nell told her, and as she moved her hand Liz caught sight of her engagement ring for the first time, her eyes widening. In awe, she stared at it.
Glad to be able to change the subject, Nell told her the story of it.
‘Good heavens, how romantic,’ Liz exclaimed. ‘Nell, are you sure he doesn’t love you?’
‘Positive,’ Nell told her drily. ‘He probably bought the ring thinking it would be an excellent thing for our son to hand it over to his bride one day.’
‘It’s a shame that it’s still not possible to buy a peerage from a poor, hard-up king,’ Liz commented. ‘I tend to forget your title most of the time, Lady Eleanor,’ she teased.
A car arrived outside and Liz dashed to the window. ‘It’s Robert’s mother,’ she told Nell. ‘She promised she’d come round this afternoon and babysit for us so that we could go out and do the recce.’
‘What about Jane and Paul?’
‘Jane’s going home with a friend after school, and as for Paul …’ She sighed faintly. ‘Paul’s staying with his aunt in Gloucester for a few days. He’s going through a very difficult patch at the moment, Nell. There’ve been problems at school. Complaints that he’s taken to bullying some of the younger boys, and that just isn’t like him. He has nightmares as well. Poor boy, I wish I could do something to help, but Robert thinks the best possible thing for him at the moment is a complete change of scene. Ellen is his mother’s sister, and she’s always had a soft spot for him. She and her husband don’t have any children of their own and he’d be able to respond to her spoiling in the way that he can’t respond to mine at the moment, because there’d be no guilt attached to it.’
How wise and compassionate her friend was, Nell reflected while she was introducted to Liz’s mother-in-law, a pleasant, plump woman in her late fifties.
‘We shouldn’t be more than a couple of hours,’ Liz told her mother-in-law.
‘Don’t you worry. Take just as long as you like,’ she smiled.
‘Now——’ Liz began as she emerged breathlessly from her car, having parked it in the centre of Cambridge. Nell had had to wait several minutes while she had gathered together all her belongings, and then another few seconds when she remembered that she had put her car keys in her handbag and to get them out so that she could lock the car.
Liz had always been like this, slightly dizzy and disorganised.
‘I know exactly where we’re going for your wedding dress,’ Liz informed her, ‘so we’ll leave that for today. What I need to know now is exactly how much wardrobe renovation is taking place.’
‘Joss wants me to replace everything,’ Nell told her flatly. ‘Apparently my existing clothes don’t fit in with the image he wants his wife to portray.’
If she expected Liz to sympathise with her, she was disappointed.
‘Let’s face it,’ Liz said brutally, ‘they don’t fit in with any image other than the outdated one of a spinster schoolmarm. Honestly, Nell, with your figure you could wear anything. Why on earth you hide it in those awful sweaters and baggy skirts, I’ll never know.’
‘They’re good quality,’ Nell protested mildly. ‘I can’t afford to spend money on fashions, Liz, you know that.’
‘Who’s talking about fashion?’ Liz demanded. ‘You could go into Marks and Spencer any day of the week and come out with at least half a dozen outfits smarter than the one you’re wearing, and just as good quality. What about the honeymoon? What will you need for that?’
Nell stared at her. ‘I’ve no idea,’ she admitted. ‘Joss hasn’t mentioned a honeymoon.’
Liz’s eyebrows rose. ‘Since your husband-to-be stipulated a complete new wardrobe, we’d better oblige him, hadn’t we? What sort of life will you be leading once you’re married, Nell?’
‘I’m not really sure. I expect Joss will want us to do a certain amount of entertaining, and then there’ll be business dinners, that kind of thing.’
‘And the local social scene …’ Liz prodded. ‘Hunt balls, charity dos?’
‘Well, yes,’ Nell agreed.
‘Mm … I think I’m beginning to get the picture. Pity we didn’t keep your car and driver,’ she added with a grin. Despite Nell’s protests, Joss had had his way and she had been driven down to Liz’s in his Rolls by his chauffeur. ‘I rather like the idea of a uniformed chauffeur driving behind us in a Rolls-Royce, picking up our packages, don’t you?’
She saw Nell’s face and laughed.
‘Poor Nell, but I do
so enjoy teasing you. Ah … now here’s a shop that will be well worth a visit,’ she exclaimed, directing Nell’s attention to a double-fronted shop tucked away down a small alley. ‘They specialise in really good quality German separates, Mondi, Escarder, that kind of thing.’
She saw Nell’s blank look and laughed again. ‘You’ll like them,’ she promised her. ‘Escarder is very elegant, very county. Mondi’s younger, more fun. Both are extremely well-made and hard-wearing. We can go in now and have a look, if you like—get your eye in, so to speak.’
The shop was much larger than it appeared from the outside, taking up two floors and stretching quite a way back. The extent of the Mondi range of separates stunned Nell, who had been visualising one or two skirts and perhaps half a dozen or so shirts and sweaters to go with them. Instead she was confronted by a bewildering array of colours, styles and designs.
‘This red would look good on you,’ Liz exclaimed, reaching for a beautiful stitched-down pleated skirt.
‘I never wear red,’ Nell protested. ‘I’m far too pale.’
‘Nonsense,’ Liz told her. ‘This skirt and I think this blouse and oh … definitely this sweater.’
Ignoring Nell’s protests, she turned to smile at the assistant, quickly explaining what she had in mind, and before she could say a word Nell found she was being hustled into an immaculate changing-room with a smiling assistant behind her.
The skirt, in the smallest size they had, did look surprisingly good on her, its neat lines accentuating her slender shape. The soft wool blouse felt lovely against her skin, although she did try to murmur a protest when the sales girl offered her the sweater that Liz had chosen. It was the same bright red as the skirt, with a design appliquéd on it, and was surely far too young for her. The sales girl persuaded her to try it on.
As soon as she was outside and being paraded for Liz’s critical inspection, she realised she was fighting a losing battle. While the sales girl and Liz discussed alterations and timescale, Nell glanced round the shop. In the mirror on the other side of the room, she could see someone wearing the same outfit as her. On this other woman it looked stunning; the pleated skirt falling gently to mid-calf, accentuating the tiny, delicate ankle bones, the red warming her pale skin.
It was only when Liz spoke to her and she turned her head, the movement setting the pleats swirling, that Nell realised that the woman in the mirror was herself.
‘What are you looking so bemused about?’ Liz questioned her, but Nell wouldn’t tell her. However, seeing herself like that and not realising who she was had given her confidence a well-needed boost, and once the first outfit had been decided upon she found it astonishingly easy to agree with Liz that she must have the grey Escarder outfit, and that the very dark blue suit, with the tiny velvet collar and fitted jacket, would be ideal for any formal lunches she might attend.
Sweaters, scarves, belts, even jewellery, all added to what seemed to be a huge pile of things on the table in front of them. In addition to the bright red Mondi outfit, she chose another, but this time it was her own choice, although both Liz and the sales girl instantly approved: a very neat, straight skirt that would have to be shortened in a very dark, greeny-bluey-grey non-colour with a toning knitted tabard in a pale dove-grey. It had an attractive button detail at the back, which the sales girl told her would have to be taken in to hang properly over her very slim hips. There was even a jacket to go with it: dove-grey again, cut on the bias, with a tiny mandarin collar and the kind of shape that made it swing out around her with every step she took.
‘That’s a fabulous start,’ Liz approved, when they were outside in the street again. ‘But it is only a start,’ she warned Nell. ‘You’re going to need a good top coat, a raincoat and boots, not to mention evening clothes, and then, just in case Joss does take you away on a honeymoon, you’re going to need beachwear.’ She gave Nell a very direct look. ‘Not to mention all those other things that brides always buy for their honeymoon, Nell.’
Nell’s eyes met hers in startled comprehension. She started to shake her head, but before she could make a denial Liz said practically, ‘Look, I’m not suggesting anything particularly exotic, or frivolous, but I always feel extra specially good when I’ve got new undies to go under my new clothes. There’s a small shop, not far from here, that specialises in exactly the kind of thing that you’ll like.’ She glanced at her watch. ‘We haven’t got time to go today, and tomorrow morning I want to take you to the dress shop where I think you’d be able to get your wedding dress. We might be able to fit it in after that. Thank goodness for mother-in-law,’ she added in a heartfelt voice as she led the way to her parked car.
They were just ten minutes over the two hours Liz had promised when they got back to the house. Lucy, her little girl, had just woken up and was sitting placidly on her grandmother’s knee. When she saw her mother, her face broke into a beaming smile and she stretched out chubby little arms towards her.
‘Here you are, you hold her for me for a moment, godmamma, while I show Joan out to her car,’ Liz told her, dumping the little girl in Nell’s arms.
She felt surprisingly heavy to Nell, who hadn’t held her since the christening. That had been over eight months ago, and she had grown a good deal since then.
Liz had rung her to tell her proudly less than a month ago that she was already starting to walk, and Nell experienced evidence of this as she squirmed in her arms, obviously wanting to be put down. She was just starting to get fractious when Liz came back in.
‘She’s a darling,’ Nell told Liz honestly.
‘Sometimes,’ Liz agreed with a smile, ‘and at others …’ She pulled a face and Nell laughed. ‘Wait until you’ve got one of your own, Nell, then you’ll know exactly what I mean. Will you and Joss try for a family straight away?’ she asked frankly, deftly holding Lucy in one arm while she started to prepare a meal for her with her free hand. ‘All right then, you can go down,’ she told her squirming daughter, ‘but only in your playpen.’
The moment she was on the floor, Lucy struggled to her feet, holding on to the frame of her playpen and then beaming in delight. She teetered unsteadily on her toes.
‘I expect so,’ Nell confirmed. ‘After all, one of the main reasons Joss is marrying me is because he wants a son.’
‘How will you cope with that, Nell?’ Liz asked her gently, turning to face her. They had been friends for a long time and, as teenagers, had had no secrets from one another. Nell had been the recipient of all Liz’s outpourings as she first fell in love with Robert, and so she didn’t resent the question. What she was desperately hoping was that Joss’s indifference to her would enable her to retain her own cool reserve. Any physical intimacy between them would be an act of procreation, not an act of desire.
She had no fear that Joss would hurt her in any way or force her. She suspected that sexually he was extremely experienced and probably extremely skilled. It would be in his own interests, as much as hers, to make it easy for her to accept him as her lover.
These were uncomfortable thoughts and best not dwelt on, Nell told herself firmly, a decision which she stuck to resolutely while she helped Liz to bath Lucy and then put her to bed.
Robert arrived home just after seven o’clock, greeting his wife with a warm hug and a kiss, and Nell with a smile.
She had only met him on a handful of previous occasions: the wedding, Lucy’s christening and then on a couple of brief visits when she had been able to get away for a few days, but Nell had taken to him on sight. He was a good counterweight for her volatile friend and, having married young the first time while still at medical school, at thirty-three he was only seven years older then Liz.
Nell tried to make the excuse that she had things to do in her room to give them some time on their own, but Liz laughed, seeing through her subterfuge, and telling her with a grin that included her husband, ‘Nell, Robert will be only too pleased to sneak off into the sitting-room and have a quiet drink and relax. Believe me
, he hates it when I bombard him with chatter the moment he walks in the door.’
She made a face and laughed, but Nell could see from Robert’s slightly shamefaced expression that her friend wasn’t completely exaggerating.
Dinner was an easygoing affair, eaten without formality in the small, sunny breakfast-room off the kitchen.
‘One day, when I’ve got the house organised properly, we’ll be able to eat in the dining-room,’ Liz promised, and then it was Robert’s turn to tease his wife, asking if Nell had yet seen the havoc she had wreaked upstairs.
‘I started decorating the bedrooms,’ she explained to Nell defensively,’ and then when I became pregnant with Lucy the smell of paint made me feel so terrible that I had to stop.’
‘Ah, yes, but what she doesn’t tell you is that she was decorating all the bedrooms,’ Robert added slyly.
‘I’ve finished one of them,’ Liz countered with an air of injured martyrdom. ‘That’s the one you’re in, Nell.’
Nell had already admired the pretty lemon and blue colour scheme. Liz had always been deft with her needle, and the soft furnishings in the room gave evidence that she had retained her skill. The walls had been sponged in a pretty shade of lemon on white and a stencilled ribbon border applied at cornice-level.
‘The walls in this house are so bumpy that traditional wallpaper is out of the question,’ Liz confided. ‘I went on one of these three-day decorative painting courses, Nell. I really enjoyed it. You should try them. Think of the money you’ll be able to save Joss if you do your own decorating,’ she added wickedly.
Nell laughed, but in reality she was aching inside. She and Joss would never share the camaraderie and love so very evident between her friend and her husband … She would never have the pleasure of lovingly decorating their home.
Joss would probably insist on the most expensive interior designers, and he would probably tell her that he was sending Fiona out to choose the colour schemes, she thought acidly.