Long moments passed before he spoke. “I can’t make love to you, Willow. God, I’m sorry about that, but you are the best friend I’ve got. I’m not willing to let that go. I don’t care what the consequences are.”
I laughed. “You don’t know all the consequences.”
“And I don’t care.”
Grabbing his camera from a dresser drawer, I flipped to a picture of him lying next to a very excited Rafe.
He hissed. “What in the world—”
“That’s what else hanging out with me is doing to you. I can manipulate your brain, make you forget you did stuff like this.”
He covered his mouth like he was horrified and choking back vomit. Then he took a deep breath, closed his eyes and said, “I still don’t care.” He opened his eyes, looking straight ahead. “I trusted you enough to take the pictures in the first place didn’t I?”
Well.
I hadn’t told him everything, but I’d told him enough. And he still wanted to hang out, still wanted to be friends. It was a bummer about the sex, but not a deal breaker. Saturday night, I’d see Remi again. I knew his mind would be in the game. Blood would fill his lower region faster than I could say fuck me. Just had to wait until then.
Aaron and I got on the bed for the second night in a row and talked until I fell asleep. I wasn’t sure when he did, but I knew he would. He’d said being around me was causing his insomnia to take a break. He was sleeping better than he ever had…since he’d been abducted. Of course the downside was that his alternates were waking from dormancy. But hey, you win some, you lose some.
When I woke up, his breathing was deep and slow. He was still sleeping. I lay staring at him awhile until I had to touch him. Started by rubbing his bottom lip slowly with my index finger. Man, I wanted to seal the deal with him. But that wasn’t going to happen. Hmm. Not unless…
I felt his eyes on me. He was staring blankly and then he was staring with purpose. His pulse and breathing had quickened like he was aroused.
Aroused? That couldn’t be…
He licked his bottom lip from one corner to the other like he was tasting remnants of my finger. Yes, definitely aroused. Then as quickly as his blood boiled with testosterone and high-octane lust, it dulled then simmered with anger. I could feel all this from his aura. His mind. His body. His energy was radiating with it. My blood was still running within his veins and it was his normal personality…on steroids. But it wasn’t Aaron.
“Remi?” He wasn’t supposed to be around until Saturday.
“Yeah.” He sat up, hair naturally falling over his eyes. “That’s fucked up, Willow. You tried to fuck him last night, didn’t you?”
Chapter 23
Busted.
What could I say? Not a damn thing. Except: Yeah, you’re right. It was a disaster. Judging by the way he had said “tried to fuck”, he already knew Aaron was impotent.
No use arguing over something that didn’t happen.
I grabbed a handful of his hair and pulled him down on me, locking our lips the way he liked it. Locking my legs around the backs of his knees. Pushing my hips upward so his groin had a nice, soft landing.
It was full-on surrender. Hot as hell. Wet. Delicious.
Remi was here with heaps of lust spewing from every molecule of his hot body. Gave me an idea.
Sure, he was pissed, but this would help him get over it. He was as necessary as darkness for me at the moment.
Our clothes started ripping away. His, mine. This would be brutal. It would be fast. And it would be right on time.
He locked an arm around my waist and held me tight. Though sinful, it felt heavenly when he breached my threshold by ramming himself into me with one deep, smooth stroke. Raising my hips to meet him, I gave him all the access he could possibly want. Access we both wanted. I grabbed his butt and squeezed hard, throwing my head back to yell in pleasure and completion.
Good thing I was a girl who could take it rough though because Remi was coming hard and he was coming strong and he was taking no fucking prisoners. He was above me, resting on his hands, letting the bottom half of his body swing freely, powerfully. As my bonded human, his strokes rivaled Max’s—which made me lose my head and get completely out of the moment. Bad time to think about my maistre.
Remi was staring down at me and must have sensed when things had changed. “What’s wrong?”
I shook my head and that was all the answer he cared about. He resumed his thrusts, slamming me into the headboard repeatedly.
“Oh, fuck. Oh, shit. Oh, fucking shit,” he said.
He must have been close. And as wonderful as it all was, I couldn’t let him finish. Not yet.
His eyes were already zoomed on mine so it was easy to lock him in and call Aaron. When I first whispered Aaron’s name, Remi frowned like I’d call him the wrong guy. Then he twitched, groaned and dropped his head. Energy swirled around his body, humming, vibrating. When he lifted his head, he looked confused, disoriented…scared. He looked down at me, at himself.
“Oh, God.” He looked at my lips, my breasts, my stomach like a man who was starving then he hissed, “Am I in you?”
I smiled. “Yes, Aaron.” Then swiveled my hips to let him know just how deep he was.
“Ohhhh. My. God,” he said, positioning his hands on the bed beside both sides of my face and dropping his head to my neck.
I was hoping to continue the eye contact, but knew that sort of intimacy would be asking too much from him right now.
“Can you do that again?” he said.
I did.
We both moaned. I swiveled again for good measure and to let him get used to the sensations. Didn’t take him long. Virgin or not, just as his body instinctively knew to blink, it knew how to give him the most pleasure. He started moving in that age-old primal motion until he found a rhythm that was good for both of us. Slow, deep, passionate.
It was so good. I told him so.
Pushing Max and Remi as far from my mind as possible, I gave myself over to enjoying Aaron’s first time. I grabbed his butt and squeezed as he retreated and buried himself in me again…and again.
“That’s it,” I encouraged. His breathing became ragged. It was the most erotic thing I’d ever heard and it tickled my ear, provided an added stimulus to my already overcharged body. I was so close I dug in his back begging him to keep it right there.
“Oh, God, Willow. Oh, God that feels good.”
The vibrations of his voice rattled me to the core, heightened my pleasure to near agony.
He kept his strokes slow and deep, just like I knew he would. The only thing that became urgent was his moans and “oh God’s”. His heavy breathing and erotic whispers told me just how much he enjoyed my slippery walls. Turned me on just as much as what he was doing down below. I was so caught in the moment I missed the change in him. We were both right at the edge, straining for release…and then something changed. He jerked up, looming over me with his thick eyebrows dipped low and angry. He pulled out like he’d seen a herpes breakout and sat back on his knees.
Uh oh.
“What the fuck is going on, Willow!” Remi was pissed. How had he switched so suddenly? “I was there with you one minute and the next I wasn’t. What the fuck did you do?”
I rolled away from him. He’d just screwed with my orgasm, one Aaron and I desperately needed. I wasn’t pleased. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Like hell you don’t.” He grabbed my arm to swing me back around to face him, but I didn’t budge. “Willow, you switched us didn’t you? You…”
He removed his hand like he couldn’t bear touching me. I turned to him expecting to still find anger but saw disappointment and hurt instead.
“Aw, Remi. Don’t look like that. I just wanted Aaron to have the experience.”
“No. You just wanted Aaron.” He got up and jammed his legs into his underwear. “You found out he was a pussy and you used me.” I watched as he put on the rest of his clo
thes. “I thought we had something. I thought you finally wanted me inside you because you liked me.” He laughed sharply. “I can’t believe it was a ruse just to lay with Aaron. That’s fucked up.”
Anticipating his next move was opening the door, I grabbed the comforter to cover myself from the sunlight and sunk on the floor next to the bed. Right in the nick of time. He slammed the door on his way out.
I threw the cover off and stared at the ceiling. I’d really fucked up.
Too much fucking up, not enough fucking.
Chapter 24
I had half a brain to call Franco and tell him I wasn’t coming in tonight. I felt like stinking poop and my attitude wasn’t likely to change anytime soon. After pacing my room with the tiny four walls, I decided to go in anyway. Didn’t want to be stuck in my room all night with my thoughts…and I needed to collect more blood. My refrigerator stash was dwindling.
Should have stayed in my room.
First thing I encountered at work was Ivan. And right after I grimaced at Ivan’s smirk, Franco introduced him as the newest employee. But no, he wouldn’t be a cocktail waitress. Due to overwhelming demands from Hades’s rising female customers, Ivan was our first male performer. He’d be putting his magic tongue to good use. And Franco was giving me the pleasure of showing Ivan around. I had the wonderful task of helping him acclimate to the workplace.
Great.
Ivan walked behind me the whole time. I could feel his eyes on my ass, the heat radiating from his body. Yep. He wanted to fuck. I knew the minute he was about to open his mouth and ask about hooking up later. Turning toward him just before he did, I inhaled his familiar scent, thinking about how I owed him a beat down for hurting me.
“And that completes your tour,” I rushed to say before I thought too hard about revenge.
“Go out with me.”
“Fuck off.” We had to work together but we’d never be best buds. I turned to storm off, but before I took a step, I fell asleep.
What a whack exit.
When I was able to open my eyes again, I recommitted myself to finding a cure for narcolepsy. I was going to die if something was not done soon. This was a vulnerability I didn’t need, dammit.
I didn’t care that Ivan had caught me and kept me from hitting the floor. First thing I saw when I opened my eyes were his thick dark eyebrows and intense sapphires. I thought about how they’d looked from this angle the first time I’d opened my legs for him. How painful it had been, how gentle he’d tried to be. Then I thought of the other women who’d had close-ups just like this when Ivan was supposed to be my man. Scoundrel.
At least Max was open and honest about his many brides.
I pushed away from Ivan. Even though I couldn’t…or wouldn’t kill him, I was glad to have at least used my power of captivation. There was some closure, some revenge in that. When he let me go, I stormed off. Finally.
And wha’d’ya’know—I ran right into Ming. Again. We had to stop making a habit of this. Was she following me or something?
“Are you following me?” she laughed.
“I was just about to ask you the same thing.”
“Of course not. But hey—you wanna get a drink at the bar? We can get to know each other a little better.”
Drinks were free for employees, but I obviously never made good on that fringe benefit. “No, thanks.”
Her lips thinned to a disappointed line. “Okay. I get it. I’m the new girl. No one wants to give me the time of day. If I was hot like the new guy…well, then that would be different. You were just falling all over him.” Then she turned to walk away.
“Ming, I fell on him. As in, I fell asleep.”
“Oh.” She turned back towards me and stuck her chin out proudly. “Sorry.” She licked her lips and threw her head back, succeeding at moving the hair from her neck, exposing a beautiful neckline. I gritted my teeth. “So it’s this place? Yeah. You probably would rather go somewhere else to have a drink. How ’bout after work? Say—Belvedere?” She batted her thick lashes. “My treat.”
Was she coming on to me? “Uh…I have plans. Maybe another time.” I walked away as fast as I could then yelled over my shoulder. “By the way, you are hot like the new guy.”
Work was cool. Nothing to scream about. I was busy trying to figure out how to make amends with Remi. I’d have to explain myself…but what exactly could I explain that would make this situation better?
Maybe I’d have better luck figuring out what was going on with Aaron’s mind and fixing that. I’d been captivating Remi for a while with no major side effects. What had changed? The frequency? It had gone from once a week to every night. Had that made a significant difference? Was it the stress of having his nose bitten off? Or having my blood heal him?
When I exited Hades’s back door, I had a brief moment of anxiety…no, excitement. For the past few nights Aaron had been waiting there for me so my mind told me he’d be there tonight as well.
No such luck.
Focusing on him all week had robbed me of any time I normally spent enjoying the darkness and fresh night air. It was perfect for clearing my head. Yeah…a nice leisurely stroll was just what I needed to iron out conflicting thoughts and pesky feelings. I found myself casually walking through an overgrown cemetery and realized that was where I needed to be. Plopping down on an unmarked plot, I closed my eyes to appreciate the peace and stillness.
Not sure whether God still listened to me, I prayed anyway. But not for myself. Didn’t waste time on that. I prayed for Aaron. His body, his soul, his spirit.
By the time I got to my room I felt better, more settled, calmer. I had come to grips with a truth I hadn’t wanted to accept. I was an evil being. I’d died and instead of letting nature take its course and allowing my soul to journey toward my destined eternity, I’d made a deal with an evil being. I was no better than the man who’d made a deal with Franco or whatever the hell his name was. I’d willingly traded my human life for “immortality” in an animated shell of my former self. The real kicker was the magic that animated my body was probably satanic since it also came with the need to survive off others to exist. What kind of being could have done what I’d done to Aaron? Certainly not a Godly one.
I had to accept that I was soulless. No salvation for me. No heaven in my future. I could only hope there were different levels of hell. Maybe a purgatory ’cause no paradise was waiting for me. Ninety degrees had to be better than one thousand degrees of fire, right? If it was possible to be punished for my transgressions with some leniency, I’d aim for that. No way of knowing if that option was available, but one thing I was finally certain of—I was headed to hell or some other place where the soulless went once I met my final death. My reasons for becoming a vampire didn’t matter.
Another realization: I was responsible for watching over Aaron as long as he lived since I was the cause of his current degenerative state. As a vampire, I was unredeemable, but dammit there was still hope for him. I’d do whatever needed to be done to protect him. At least one of us had a stab at a heavenly hereafter.
I stopped abruptly once I got to my door. It was ajar and I never made the mistake of leaving it open even when I was most distracted.
Someone had been here, had been in here.
Looking around to see if anyone was waiting to ambush me, or if there were witnesses, or if there was anything unusual, I saw no one. Whoever had been here was either long gone or still inside.
I stepped in cautiously then shut the door behind me.
My room had been turned upside down as if someone had been searching for something. My bedside lamp was on, clothes were strewn about, each drawer was pulled out and left in various parts of the room. Even the beautiful bouquet Aaron had given me was in ruins. Surprisingly, my laptop was still on the desk which meant it had not been a random burglary. Aaron’s camera was still in one of the dislodged drawers which meant Rafe hadn’t found me and tried to steal evidence against him. In fact, nothing seemed to
be missing.
I inhaled, hoping to pick up a scent and did. Oh, no…
Listening for sounds, I detected a subtle drip in the bathroom. No…
Hair on my arms and back of my neck stood. What eyes couldn’t see through the closed bathroom door, my other senses picked up and were already on red alert. Smelling blood in my bathtub where water had been running recently was not a good sign.
I slowly opened the door half-expecting the Boogie Man to jump out, but he didn’t. The strong aroma of death greeted me instead. I didn’t have to cut the light on to see the body lying in the tub of overflowing water. I cut it on anyway to verify the identity of what my senses were already processing.
Ivan was lying naked in a pool of his own blood waiting for me to find him.
And wasn’t that a perfect ending to a fucking fantastic day.
Chapter 25
Don’t know how long I stood leaning against the doorjamb reflecting back on good times with Ivan. He was my first love after all. Funny how we can only remember things we liked about people after they’re gone. The fact that he was a cheater meant nothing now. He didn’t deserve this.
He’d been so sweet to me when we first met. And yes, he loved for me to sit on his face back then too. Now that I think back, that must have been his thing. He probably didn’t have the courage to tell me as I didn’t have the self-confidence to do it often. He didn’t have the extra tongue speed or the bonus of tuning into my head so that he knew exactly what worked and when like Max did. But he was great at it, nonetheless, especially for a human.
Water under a bridge.
He was dead now and I hadn’t even given him the courtesy of a stranger when I’d last seen him.
Looking his body over, I finally shook the cobwebs from my head and considered my predicament: there was a dead body in my motel tub. What if the person or supernatural who’d done this had also called the cops? Who could already be on the way. I’d be fucked. Blood was everywhere, all over the floor, ceiling, mirror, commode. He’d actually been killed here.
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