Just as I heard footsteps marching down the hall toward the window I had broken, he began stirring inside. Stumbling to the door. Cracking it open. Standing there in black boxer briefs with thick, dark bed hair.
Given the way his hand gripped a liquor bottle, I figured he’d been passed out drunk instead of sleeping. Had I mentally awakened him or had he finally responded to my knocks?
And the bigger question: Was this Remi or Aaron…or neither?
“Willow? What the fuck are you doing here?”
Hmmm. His slurred words took away from his vocal register so I still didn’t know who he was. He recognized me at least…but didn’t they all? Bet that diary included a description of me to go along with my name ever since they’d started switching randomly. “Uh, can I come in?”
“You can’t be here. Security has to call me when someone’s here.” He shook his head like he was trying to shake off his buzz. Stepping into the hall, he looked both ways through squinty eyes and said, “I must be dreaming.” He tried to put the bottle to his lips a couple of times, missed, then used both hands to help steady the bottle.
More footsteps and mumbles were coming. Staff had cleaned up the glass and were now looking for what broke it. I’d bet an ass cheek they didn’t think a vampire had climbed the high-rise and done it so they were probably baffled, looking for an eagle or…miniature airplane.
But I needed to get out of the hallway. I’d be a suspect for sure.
I snatched the bottle from his grip before he could take another swig and caught him from stumbling backwards with my other hand. Gripping his chin, I pulled him close to my face. “This is not a dream. Aren’t you gonna invite me in?”
He blinked slowly a few times and slurred his words, “Youwannacomein?”
“Yes.”
“Well, comeonin.”
I still didn’t know who he was. Didn’t matter. I had plenty of time to figure it out now that I knew he [they] were safe.
Letting go of his face, I hooked my arms around his waist and carried him inside, kicking the door shut. The feel of him in my arms and the grandness of his place immediately caught my attention. In lieu of appreciating either, I found a comfortable-looking oversized couch and plopped him on it. He looked over at me through heavy lids when I sat next to him.
Dammit. He was still gorgeous. Still insane. And I still had no clue which personality was sitting next to me. Setting the bottle on the coffee table, I offered to make him coffee. Hopefully, I still remembered how.
“You have no idea who I am do you?” he said. I shook my head. He barked out a laugh. “Tonight’s Saturday night, isn’t it? Remi’s night. His night for the past few years…and now…”
I waited for him to finish. When I realized he wasn’t going to, I spoke up. “And now what?”
“Now, we’re totally fucked up.” He threw his head back on a pillow.
I stared at him and started going through my checklist: he had nearly a full blown beard, was making eye contact but not staring, wasn’t smoking and was making no moves to jump my bones. Not Remi. Plus, Remi wouldn’t have spoken of himself in third person. On the other hand, he was drinking and cursing and his hair wasn’t slicked back. Not Aaron either.
“I knew being without medication would totally tank us. I told Aaron not to stop the goddamn drugs. Now look at us. All mixed up.” He looked down at his wrist and rubbed the scar with his thumb.
Bingo! Only one suffered from that level of depression.
“I spent all evening going through the journals catching up. Funny both Remi and Aaron are in love with you. Aaron just doesn’t know it yet. Not too bright. Hell, neither are too bright if you ask me. Didn’t take me long to figure out what you are. Remi says you’re always cold…he never feels a heartbeat. Hell, just lookatya’! Idiots can’t tell you’re not human.” He half laughed, half cried. “Reese is the fucking braniac, but even I can figure that shit out.”
Okay. He had to go, but I had to handle him delicately. “Emmanuel, it’s okay. Aaron’s going to get back on his meds. I’ll make sure he does.”
“I sure hope so, ’cause I can’t take this. I don’twannabehere.”
Oh, hell yeah. Aaron was getting back on his meds. Taking care of Aaron was my responsibility and obviously it was time I stepped up to help. And the first way I needed to help was making sure Emmanuel didn’t attempt suicide while he was occupying Aaron’s body.
Tears ran down his face as he repeated how he didn’t want to be here over and over again.
Had to put this poor bastard out of his misery.
Leaning towards him, I placed my hands on both sides of his face, commanded his pupils to open to me and whispered, “Emmanuel, I need to talk to Aaron, okay?”
He nodded. “You gon’ do that hypnosis thing?”
“Yes.”
“Well, can you make it where I don’t ever have to come back?” He looked hopeful like a child telling Santa what he wanted for Christmas.
Baffled me what was so darn depressing about his existence that he couldn’t stand it for a few hours. But hey—I was no therapist. Had no interest in counseling him. “I’ll see what I can do.” After rubbing away his tears, I said, “Aaron? We need to talk.”
He blinked rapidly then smiled. “Willow, what are you doing here?” Well, that didn’t take long. Emmanuel had been eager to let the body go.
I smiled back then told him what had happened since we’d last spoken. Even told him about finding Ivan’s body, left out Franco and Punch’s involvement. Told him about my conversation with Emmanuel and encouraged him to seek medical treatment so his personalities could be managed again.
He swooned as he tried to rise from the couch which reminded me Emmanuel had been drinking all evening. I told him to sit tight as I got up to fumble around in his decadent kitchen to make coffee. The stainless steel appliances, granite countertops, and brown-stained custom-built cabinets almost made me wish I ate food. Almost.
He followed me to the kitchen anyway, leaning against the island as I looked around for everything I needed. I could tell he wanted to talk and judging by the sheepish look on his face, he wanted to talk about sex.
“Sorry about what happened last time we were together.” He started smoothing his hair down across the top of his head. “It was so amazing. I couldn’t believe I shifted in the middle of you and Remi making love. I’ve never done that before. He wrote that he felt betrayed. I can’t have him upset with me,” he said as I dumped coffee grounds into the filter.
“I’ll make it up to him. He blames me not you.” He looked puzzled like why would it be my fault. Ha! Because he knows I forced the shift. “Um…because I didn’t tell you to stop. Because I enjoyed being with you.”
He blushed. “So I wasn’t disappointing? I didn’t know what I was doing.”
I smiled and turned the coffeemaker on.
Men and their delicate egos. Aaron and his innocence. “Being with you was absolutely heavenly. I think you knew exactly what you were doing.”
He leaned down towards his elbows on the island to hide his smile. “Too bad the only way I can do it again is to shift when Remi’s in you. Interrupt your lovemaking again. Betray him all over again.” He shook his head and blew out a deep breath. After several quiet minutes, he said, “This is a mess. I have to control my personalities. I can’t let them control me. I’ll make an appointment first thing later this morning.”
I nodded.
The sooner, the better. Things were definitely better when they shifted upon my command. This random shifting was too much, too unpredictable. Maybe once Aaron got on his meds, I could go back to shifting him in while Remi and I fucked, without worrying about Remi shifting back like he did last time or any other personality showing up when least expected like Mason and Emmanuel already had.
After handing him a warm mug, I looked around to appreciate the glory of his penthouse, which Remi had severely understated as a condo when he had asked me to move in.
/> Aaron sipped his coffee as he showed me around. I awed over its grandeur. My motels had nothing on this.
With all the sculptures and paintings lying about haphazardly, there was no need for him to tell me he was an artist, but he did anyway. And he definitely was not starving. Between Daddy’s trust fund and Aaron’s talent, he was living well. No studio apartment or bartending on the side for him.
His specialty was landscaping: beaches, deserts, mountains, canyons…
Lost my train of thought when I came across his collection of willow trees sketched in charcoal, painted colorfully in abstract and realism, molded to different sizes, in moonlight and sunshine, snow and rain. He said they were in homage to me.
Well, duh.
He’d gotten a contract with a nationwide hotel chain to buy exclusive rights to his “Sleepy Willow” collection. Ah, the irony.
As I was about to congratulate him and say how I was impressed, flattered, and profoundly touched, we walked in his bedroom and I was distracted in to silence. It wasn’t the big ’ol white contemporary bed with black linen and pillows or the matching zebra print rug on the floor. It wasn’t the magnanimous view of Houston from the twenty-seventh floor windows extending from high-ceiling to polished hardwood floor or the red lighting that gave the room a romantic glow. No, it was the oversized white desk against the east wall where stacks of leather-bound books lay.
Could it be?
One look at his embarrassed face told me they were indeed volumes of his infamous diary, the most current one opened midway with a pen stuck in the center. Finally, laying bare before me were recounts of his life, experiences of his personalities, written renditions of his soul…or souls, plural.
How did that work exactly? Would he be judged based on actions of each personality?
“I don’t mind if you read it,” he said, sitting on the edge of his bed, sipping coffee, waiting for me to invade his privacy.
It was my chance to learn everything there was to know about each of them. Had one of them killed Ivan? What had happened to Aaron to birth all the other personalities in the first place? Were Aaron and Remi truly in love with me?
He’d never shared his diary with anyone. This was a rare gift. A privilege. Reading it would be putting together a puzzle, a riddle.
Or I could just ask everything I wanted to know. Call up each personality, stare in his gorgeous eyes while watching his lips move. Ease my curiosities the fun way. Or…
I could just accept every part of him, secrets and all. Keep things mysterious, exciting.
Instead of walking over to the desk, I made a detour, ending my tour of his home with his bathroom. Surprised us both.
He moved in behind me. “I thought you’d want to read it. To know everything about me. About us.”
Maybe Emmanuel was right. For Aaron to share something so private, he must really be in love with me.
“We’ll have more to talk about if I don’t read it,” I said without looking at him. He was standing so close, my body had started responding to him. I was afraid my teeth and eyes would start changing.
Picking up each bottle lined neatly on the counter, I sniffed each scent, read each label, and discovered Remi was a Perry Ellis Night man and Aaron wore Acqua Di Gio by Giorgio Armani. I figured LA Looks gel was for Aaron’s slick look and Remi just shampooed with L’Oreal and went. The counter was full of grooming cosmetics mind you, but I didn’t care who the other scents and products belonged to, although the eyelash curler and mascara did give me cause to pause.
These details were just as intimate as any verbiage his diary could have held.
Though tempted to use the opportunity to seduce him, I left the bathroom when he mentioned wanting to take a shower. His walk-in closet kept me plenty busy with separate sections of an array of clothing styles. Apparently, one of his personalities was Goth. Made me laugh out loud. Someone was actually creepier than Remi.
Didn’t even want to know who the blowup doll on the closet floor belonged to.
When Aaron emerged from the shower, I was mindful of his shyness and dared not turn to face him until he was dry and clothed. When he asked if I would lie next to him since he couldn’t sleep unless I was there, I agreed to stay until he got to sleep. He’d drank three cups of coffee so it was probably going to be awhile. Either way, I had to leave before sunrise and time was a’ ticking.
I sat on the edge of the bed until he cut off the light and got settled. Then I pulled the sheet back to climb in bed with him. Lo’ and behold, he was stark naked. Thanking God for small blessings, that was all the invitation I needed to take it from here.
His eyes tracked each of my movements as I stripped slowly. He had missed the foreplay before and seemed intent on missing nothing this go round. Maybe he thought his body would respond differently since he’d already done the deed. There was just one problem—this time wouldn’t be for him. Well, two problems ’cause his body still wasn’t cooperating.
Cupping his flaccid dick, I climbed on top of him, kissed his forehead, his cheeks, his lips. Then I said, “This is for Remi.”
Locking into his eyes, I palmed the sides of his face and kissed him gently again. Nothing was happening down below on his part but I was consumed by heat. I stared into his eyes and commanded him to open to me. I felt his resistance. Maybe subconsciously he knew what was happening. “Remi, please come out. I want to be with you.”
Aaron didn’t move for a while, not even his eyelids. His hands rested next to him on the bed. His chest rose slowly, evenly, as he breathed.
Suddenly, he jerked, his whole body jerked, his spirit and aura changed…and his dick twitched.
“Remi?”
He looked around then focused on me. “How’d the fuck did you get in here? What the—”
I kissed him hard, sticking my tongue so far in his throat, he’d gag if he didn’t push back with his own. He groaned and grabbed my hips like I was a lifejacket. I felt him swell to full, painful hardness and I couldn’t wait to have him inside me, easing his ache. He rolled me over his erection, which caused us both to gasp. I was already slick, covering him with glossiness.
It was time to get down to business.
I grabbed him and lifted myself to sink down on him when he did something surprising. He stopped me. “No! You don’t want me. You want Aaron.” He tried to throw me off, but I held my ground, locking my knees against his hips, my heels against his legs.
Okay. I was horny as fuck but that didn’t give me the right to come in and take some dingaling without talking to him first. He’d been pissed when were last together. I had to keep the peace if I wanted a piece. “I’m sorry. Okay?”
“No. Not okay. You’re just saying that because Aaron’s cock doesn’t work. If you could fuck him, I’d never see you anymore. You two would find a way to switch him in permanently. That’s what you’re planning to do now. Isn’t it?”
“No. That’s not true. It’s you I want right now. I like you a lot.”
“But you love him.”
Silence. I didn’t know how to answer that really. Wasn’t sure I possessed the capacity to love anymore. “I don’t know, Remi. I enjoy hanging out with both of you and it’s confusing as hell when you look like the same person to me.”
“But you know we’re different. We’ve shown ourselves to you completely.”
“And I think I love you both a little for that.” There. That was the truth. It didn’t have to be all or nothing did it? “What about that? Would you have me if I wanted to be with both of you?”
He looked pensive.
At this rate, I’d lose them both. Attempting to sweeten the deal, I bared my fangs. “You know I could kill you with these.”
He hissed in shock and horror. “Sweet Jesus!” he cried.
Chapter 27
I let his blasphemy slide so my revelation could sink in…and I could absorb the feeling of his dick twitching beneath me, titillating my most sensitive spot. “What about now? Will you h
ave me now?”
I already knew the answer.
Like taking candy from a baby.
His eyes narrowed with desire. He smiled. Big. “Fuck yeah.” He turned his head to the side, exposing his neck and pulsing vein. “Fuck me, bite me, do whatever you wanna do to me. Right now.”
I did. I rode him like a stallion, fed from him like a fountain.
We came hard, him filling me up as I contracted around his erection until it softened. He rested for about three minutes then asked me to fuck him again and bleed him dry.
I did him one better. After ripping my wrist open with my fangs, I held it to his mouth as he nursed, filling himself with my power. Bonding us even more, even tighter. I had to do something or risk killing him.
Man, I did love Remi. I loved them both. And wasn’t love antithesis of soullessness?
Never mind the implications of being soulless and in love. Time to revel in my victory. He was mine. Aaron I still had to work on. But Remi was mine.
With my blood flowing strongly through his veins, I could barely tell he was human. Didn’t know how long the affects of my blood would last, but for the moment, his prowess was outstanding. Unnervingly so. Remi wasn’t lasting as long as Max, but his lower region was filling with blood again fast after each orgasm. Refractory period, my ass. I knew that wasn’t normal. He hit hard and deep, rocking my whole world, making me see stars. Then he paused long enough to stiffen and shudder before he was back at it again.
Given how much blood I’d taken from both sides of his neck and groin, his skin should have felt cold by now. Yet it felt feverish. At each crescendo, he stuck his wrist in my mouth so I could take more of his nourishment as he pumped my body full of his.
Sometimes, when it started off leisurely, we dialoged like old lovers. But by the end, we were so overcome with passion we could only writhe and make unintelligible sounds.
“I’ve never fucked like this before. Goddamn. I feel so strong, so sensitive,” he said as his hips moved in long, slow strides.
“My blood will enhance your senses. You’ll experience some of my strengths with none of my weaknesses.”
1 Dicey Grenor Page 16