1 Dicey Grenor

by Grenor, Dicey

  His face tensed up like he was about to explode again.

  “Just breathe through it, Remi.” I smoothed his hair back from his face so I could watch his pleasure. Sweat beaded on his forehead, his skin was red, his muscles were tight. I could watch him all day if it weren’t for having to leave before sunup.

  “Your eyes are weird…glowing…and red,” he said.

  He lifted his torso from me, raising my legs outward so he could stare down at where we were joined. When I put my heels on his shoulders, he ran his tongue over the tips of my toes then sucked my big toe in his mouth and slurped gently. It heightened the already intense sensations of his thumb gently rubbing my clit. I could barely speak, but I tried. “My eyes change when I’m aroused, angry, sad, any strong emotion.”

  “Can you control it?”

  “Sometimes no, but meditation and deep concentration help a little.”

  His strokes quickened, his breathing changed. He was close again. “That’s it, Remi. Fuck my pussy.”

  “Ahhhh,” he said from low in his throat and gradually rose in pitch. “Ahhh. Ahhhhh,” he continued moaning as his hips pumped too fast to keep his hand in place. His mouth tightened around my toe, his tongue swirled around it. As I watched his abs move sensually, I wanted to tell him I was coming, but all I could do was hiss. I knew the moment he realized it and that was almost better than talking filthy. Just as I contracted around him, squeezing, stroking, his eyes flew open and his hips punched fiercely, faster and harder than a human, until he buried himself deep within me and shook so hard the whole bed moved. He didn’t shout. He moooooaned his pleasure as I moaned mine. It was harmonic music.

  Then he made a funny, exhausted face. I laughed while raking my nails lightly down his chest to his abs, to curly black groin hair. He shook some more. I laughed some more.

  He finally pulled out and collapsed next to me, chest heaving while he struggled to breathe. Once his breathing returned to normal, we pillow-talked about how I’d been able to go undetected as a vampire by using my phlebotomy kit and blending in at Hades and that I’d trained myself to survive off feeding once a day. When I confessed to taking blood without his permission in the past, he said he had never noticed puncture wounds. True to Remi form, he said he had enjoyed the razor cuts and wished I would have used my fangs on him long ago.

  Gotta love that.

  “Do you miss the sun?” he asked, laying his head on my chest where it held no heartbeat, no breath…only vibrations from my voice. He oddly found the stillness comforting. And I knew this from his thoughts, his energy.

  “Nope. I’m more concerned about the fate of my soul.”

  “But not enough to remain human.”

  Touché. “No. I guess not. I thought being a vampire would cure my narcolepsy.”

  “You don’t need a cure for narcolepsy. That’s what makes you unique. You’re perfect the way you are.”

  I swallowed the lump in my throat. No one had ever said anything like that to me before. Even my aunt, who had been the only one to understand what I was going through, had tried desperately to be cured herself. Her hope had been a small comfort, but the other part of her time was spent in denial about her condition altogether. And that was just plain sad.

  Where had Remi been when I was human, struggling with the disorder? Alone. Scared. Unlovable. Willing to do anything to get rid of what made me different.

  Yeah, well, he was just saying all this because he was captivated by my vampireness, high on my blood. He hadn’t known the human me, the weak Willow. The one who cried when she was picked on and was too ostracized to have childhood friends or…

  I fell asleep at some point and that suited him just fine. He climbed on top of me and pumped his way to another orgasm. When I woke up, he was just finishing, sweat beaded on his forehead, heavy-breathing and all. Kinda made me wish I hadn’t missed the whole encounter.

  Remaining inside me, he rested his head on my shoulder and breathed, “Sorry.”

  “No, you’re not.”

  His chin hair moved indicating he was smiling. “You’re right.” He sighed. “I’ve been wanting to do that since I first saw you at Hades.”

  Good time to ask what I’d been wanting to know. “How do you get turned on by death anyway? Why do you like sex like that? Most men want a responsive partner.”

  Flashes of his brain waves told me he was remembering something…a pretty girl, black hair, blue eyes. After moments of silence he finally said, “My first sexual experience was with a dead girl…and I liked it.”

  Holy shit on a stick. I didn’t know how his kidnapping fit in to that, but I knew it did somehow. He must have been forced. “I’m so sorry.”

  “Don’t be. Not for me anyway. Aaron didn’t like it. I did. Be sorry for him.”

  I held him close, resisting the urge to ask if that was when he first shifted. Didn’t know if remembering and talking about it would traumatize him or help. There had to be more to the story than a six-year-old boy kidnapped and forced to have sex with a dead girl. Did “first sexual experience” mean actual intercourse? Had he been capable of that at six? Maybe he had been captive for years. Maybe he’d been kidnapped at six and hadn’t had the experience with the corpse until he was eight or ten.

  It was all too inconceivable.

  Could he handle opening up about it? Could I?

  He raised his head and looked down at me. “By the way, how old are you? Couple hundred years?”

  “Nope. I’m a newbie, turned when I was twenty-one and I’m only twenty-four.”

  “So your body’s always gonna look like this?”

  I nodded. “And since I knew I’d be frozen in time, I got a Brazilian wax, relaxed the hair on my head so it would always be straight and long, got a mani-pedi…” I laughed. “Turns out, none of that mattered. My hair and nails grow as they did when I was human.”

  “Really? How is that? Aren’t you dead?”

  “As a doorknob. I guess the same magic that animates my body makes my hair and nails grow too.”

  “So everything functions normally?”

  “Not exactly. My tear ducts work, I make saliva, but I don’t pee or poop. Don’t sweat either.” I had never shared this much about myself with anyone. We were both treading on uncharted territory tonight.

  “Can you fly?”

  “Hell no. But I can move really fast and jump really high. Human eyes wouldn’t know the difference.”

  “Damn, that’s hot.” He kissed my cheek. “Hey—I’m not going to turn in to a vampire now am I?”

  “No. The affects of my blood will wear off.”

  He exhaled. “Good ’cause I’d never want to be a vampire. I love dead things, but I don’t want to be dead. There’d be no thrill of nearly-dying again and there’s no greater rush than coming close.”

  I wondered if he’d change his mind if he truly was on his deathbed. “I can’t turn you anyway. I’m not strong enough. It takes a maistress vamp and powerful witch to do it.”

  “Who’s your maistress?”

  “I have a maistre. Only men can sire female vamps, only women can sire male vamps.” I wrapped one of his long curls around my finger. “It’s kind of like a marriage.”

  He stiffened…and not in a good way. “You’re married to a maistre vampire?”

  I caressed his shoulders to ease the blow. “Yes, but it’s not like you think. He has hundreds of brides. He can have as many as he wants. We’re not exclusive.”

  “So he’s okay with me laying up in you like this?” He rocked his hips for illustration, making me lose myself momentarily.

  “Uh…not exactly. But don’t you worry. I’ve got it all under control.”

  “I know y’all burn in the sun, but how do I kill him at night? Just in case he comes after me.”

  I laughed. The likelihood he’d survive a one-on-one fight with Max was nil, but that wasn’t the point. “I can’t tell you that. If he dies, so do I and his whole lineage.”


  “Really? Shit in a creek.”

  “That’s why maistres and maistresses have to be so strong. Their power provides our life force. Their blood mixes in with our blood and sustains us. Kill them and it’s lights out for the rest of us.”

  “Damn. I hope he’s somewhere safe then. I heard VET has just about wiped out the entire vampire species in the U.S. Every country has passed anti-vamp laws, but none of the others seem to enforce it as well. I wouldn’t want to lose you.” He smiled and kissed my cheek tenderly, belying the sadness in his eyes. “Where is he anyway?”

  “Can’t tell you that either. Nowhere in this country though.”

  He relaxed.

  We lay in peaceful silence until he yawned and I knew it was getting close to time for me to leave.

  “I came in you a lot. You can’t get pregnant, right?” he said sleepily.

  “No sexually transmitted diseases either.”

  “Cool.” He searched my eyes. “Most women want kids. You’re okay with not having any?”

  “God, yes. I never wanted any. Can you imagine me falling asleep while feeding a baby? Or passing this gene along?”

  “Know what you mean. With my mental state, I would never want to be responsible for a child and I sure as hell wouldn’t want to bring one up in a world where things like what happened to me happens.”

  “Will you ever tell me what happened?” I asked.

  Suddenly, flashes of his past coursed through my mind like a whirlwind. I saw a man, a dark cellar, a cot, a machete slicing through his hairy back as blood splashed about…

  Remi threw the memories from his mind like vomit. Few more minutes and I would have known the whole story without him telling me.

  Maybe if I told him the affects of our bonding he’d stop broadcasting his feelings and memories so strongly.

  “It’s probably best that Aaron fills you in.” He put his head back down. “I’m so tired right now.”

  I caressed his back. “I’ve taken a lot of your blood.”

  “You gave me so much of yours too. My body still feels like it’s on fire. Like if I dipped in the pool it would boil instead of cooling me off.”

  “I’ll take less next time.”

  His dick jerked violently within me. “I like that there will be a next time. I want to come in you over and over again. But you don’t have to hold back. Ever. Take whatever you want. Whenever.”

  I enjoyed him coming in me too. Ivan and I had always used condoms and Max had always withdrawn at his critical moment, so this was the first time I had experienced it. But there was another person to consider when it came to sharing blood and bonding.

  “I’m so glad you feel that way but I don’t think Aaron would like that,” I blurted before thinking of Remi’s reaction to my comment. I was cheapening our moment by making him feel like he played second fiddle to Aaron. Not to mention it was a terrible time to bring up Aaron’s feelings in all this after I’d spent the past few hours feeding Remi and feeding from him.

  He tensed. “Aaron doesn’t have to know. He doesn’t have to know we fucked or what you are or that you were even here. You are mine. I’ll rip that damn diary to shreds before I write a lick about it.”

  This was the jealous streak I’d glimpsed when I mentioned my relationship with Dr. Floyd to him. And that relationship was innocent. I sure hoped jealousy between two men in the same body wasn’t going to be a problem. Remi’s possessiveness mirrored my sentiment for him, but he’d forgotten I wanted both of them. I had been forthright about my feelings for Aaron. Maybe not the next time we had sex or the next, but one day soon I would switch Aaron in and fuck the shit out of him too.

  “That’s sweet of you, but he already knows I was here,” I said. “I saw Emmanuel then Aaron.”

  He slowly raised his head like it weighed a ton and stared down at me. “Emmanuel?” I nodded. “Holy shit, we’re fucked. If he’s shifting again, we’re all in trouble. He gets NO shifting privileges anymore.”

  “He doesn’t want it either. Don’t worry. I can help with him like I did tonight. And Aaron’s gonna get back on his meds.”

  He just stared at me, his jaw ticcing, then he withdrew from me and got up from the bed. “You realize that may be the end of me? Or is that what you and Aaron are planning. You want me out of the picture.”

  I blinked. “No, I didn’t know that. He said there would be side effects. I didn’t know…”

  “Aaron’s the host, Willow. If he gets on meds to control shifting to alternates, what the hell do you think will happen to me?”

  I hadn’t thought it through. I thought the meds would just help him manage the alternates. But what the hell did that mean exactly?

  Oh, no, Remi was right.

  He grabbed a pack of cigarettes from the dresser, went to the bathroom and closed the door.

  What in the world were we going to do? I didn’t want to inhibit Remi and I had a good feeling Aaron felt the same. He needed Remi, relied on him, in fact. They were a package deal. Couldn’t see a use for Mason or Emmanuel or Vlad, but we needed Remi. They were co-dependent, two peas of the same pod. We’d all be screwed if Aaron got back on meds.

  Couldn’t let that happen. Had to think of something.

  But time was suddenly of the essence.

  I went to the bathroom where Remi sat on the floor smoking near the shower. I told him I had to go and kissed his cheek. He just stared. I told him not to worry I’d think of something but I definitely wanted him. His face softened and he asked me to stay. He reminded me of his offer to move in with him. He would close the blinds and curtains to keep the sun out for me. Would even get a coffin or clear a spot in his closet.

  While spending the day shut inside with him appealed to me more than I was willing to admit, I thought of the secure room I had waiting for me at Hades so I declined.

  “Besides, I like watching Christian TV on Sunday mornings and I know you’re Jewish.”

  “Actually, I’m atheist,” he smirked.

  Chapter 28

  Atheist? Oh, boy. I should have known.

  I’d thought Aaron’s soul stood a chance as a Jew since he was one of God’s chosen people. But Remi, an atheist? If his beliefs affected Aaron’s soul, they didn’t stand a chance. At least I was a believer. They needed my help in more ways than one. He needed to be converted fo’ sho’.

  He laughed. “This is wild. I can almost hear your thoughts. A minute ago, I swear you were worried about me being jealous of your feelings for Aaron and now you want to convert me, don’t you?”

  Guess he was discovering the benefits of our blood connection on his own. Although I preferred the upper hand, him reading me was only fair. And seriously intimate. If he fine-tuned his psychic connection to me, he would hear my thoughts even clearer. I’d keep that part to myself for now. “Yep. That’s what I was thinking.”

  He shook his head. “A Christian vampire. Isn’t that an oxymoron?”

  “Maybe. But who can be sure?”

  I mean, the bible said to confess with your mouth and believe in your heart that Jesus was the Son of God and you’d be saved. I didn’t see any stipulations like if thou art a vampire all bets are off. On the other hand, as conceded earlier, I’d given my soul away in exchange for being undead. Realistically, I watched church on TV out of habit from my upbringing not for any real affect on my spirit, soul, or body.

  Not wanting to get too deep in that just now, I kissed him long and thoroughly to distract him from my thoughts. Then after verifying his multiple bite wounds had healed, I got my patootie out of there in an instant. Had to run like hell to beat the sun, but I made it.

  No, I didn’t captivate him into forgetting the sex or my confession. Couldn’t risk messing with his brain anymore than I had already. Not until I talked it over with Saybree. She had known there was something different about him yet she still said he’d be a great day companion for me. Surely, she would have some guidance as to how to keep him safe.

  And tr
uthfully, I wanted him to remember.

  When I got back to Hades, I snuck back in the basement through the private corridor and shut myself in my room. Still felt strange calling it mine, but I was definitely glad to have it.

  I didn’t waste any time running my bathwater then plopping down. Soaking in the tub was therapeutic, relaxing. Gave me time to think.

  Things were looking up. I had a safe place to stay, a companion—or two companions, depending on how you counted Remi and Aaron—on top of an interesting place to work, with a resourceful boss and loyal colleagues. Maybe I’d bested Saybree’s warning. Maybe no one was coming for me after all. Or if they were, they wouldn’t be able to get me. Not in Franco’s sanctuary.

  Then again, Max was still an issue. Maybe that was the evil coming for me she’d been referring to. And he could get me anywhere.

  Laying my head back and closing my eyes, I focused, tried calling him again. We really needed to work this out. There had to be a way we could both be happy.

  Darkness. Silence.

  More darkness. More silence.

  Then the darkness slowly lifted. Vanilla assaulted my nostrils.

  There he was lying on his bed, uh…relaxing. He was stretched out, eyes closed, skin starkly contrasting the black silk sheets and mop of kinky black hair covering his groin. Judging by the fact Max’s name was tattooed on her forearm, it was Mercedez, one of the clan’s human vamp whores—I meant, willing blood donors.

  The fro was moving up and down, obviously the source of his relaxed state. His mouth was slightly ajar revealing long, bloody fangs, indicating she’d pleasured him in more ways than one. No blood was spilt, indicating he had been characteristically neat and greedy.

  He wanted me to see this. Wanted to rub in what I could have if I went back to him. Or wanted me to be jealous about him being with her. Or wanted me to see he wasn’t pining for me.

  Didn’t bother me a bit considering the time I’d had with Remi.

  I was just glad Max was in a good enough mood to open his brainwaves to me. And since he was having his moment with a human woman in lieu of a vamp bride, I hoped this was a good time to make up with him. Appeal to his mercy…oh hell…just try to reason with him.