by Donna Alam
‘It’s beautiful, chick,’ says Niamh, surreptitiously wiping under her eyes.
‘Lay off the booze, Niamh. It’s just a bloody dress!’
‘Darling, it’s exquisite on you. You look like an absolute dream,’ adds Mishael, before turning to converse with Lena, the woman responsible for designing this vision, as she stands eyeing me critically.
I stare at my reflection in the mirror. Despite being as yet unfinished, this gown is certainly dreamlike. In fact, this whole experience is. Who’d have thought running away to Dubai would’ve brought me to the man of my dreams? And I’ve never worn something that has made me feel so . . . bloody beautiful. I can’t wait to see his expression. Can’t wait for him to get home.
Seriously. We’re on week three now. Fingers—and toes—crossed he’ll be back next week. And so much for his promise of phone sex, though I know he’s been incredibly busy. But knowing him, this is part of the tease. It’s always on his time.
‘Oui, je suis d’accord avec vous.’ This from Lena, who holds out her hand to help me down from the raised platform.
‘She’s just going to show you a few veils. I’ve told her chapel length or shorter.’ Perhaps sensing my reluctant expression, she adds, ‘It does no harm to try.’
I’m not keen. In truth, there doesn’t seem like much of a point. I’m not getting married in church, so I don’t really care about a veil. But as Lena escorts me to an equally plush ante-room, lifting a sparkling tray onto another gold desk, I’m dazzled by its contents: tiaras, diamanté hair slides and all manner of hair baubles. Like a magpie on crack and dazzled by the pretty, I’m not really paying attention to the voices from the outer-room. Until a particular voice freezes the blood in my veins.
‘Mishael, my dear. What a pleasant surprise.’
‘Sofia.’
My stomach churns and my fingers begin to shake, though I can tell Mishael isn’t enthused by her presence.
‘You do not mind if I just use the changing room, do you? The girl on the desk seemed to think that this would be a problem.’ The assistant begins to apologize and explain, cut dead by Sofia as she powers on. ‘But when I hear your voice, I think to myself, ah! This is Mishael! She will not mind. I need only one moment to check the length of my alteration.’
Smarmy bitch. Fucking whore. My hands are clutching the desk as Lena asks me in heavily accented English what the problem is. I can’t answer. And I can’t face going out there. I’ll . . . I’ll . . . Christ, I don’t know what I’ll do if I have to go out there.
I hear heels clicking on the marbled floor before they stop abruptly as Mishael speaks.
‘Actually, Sofia, I don’t think that’s appropriate. I’m here with my future daughter-in-law for a dress fitting. Her wedding dress fitting.’
Silence. And then, ‘Oh, Faris finally settled him on the girl?’ Her voice is pitched just a touch too high and I hear the clicking of heels again. ‘The girl from Saudi Arabia.’ Her pronunciation takes on a regional twang, rendering the word sa-owdi arabeeya. ‘Why not dress shopping in Paris or Rome, or with her own family?’
‘Faris?’ Mishael questions with a tinkling laugh, ignoring her further questions. ‘My goodness, no! He had no part in this. Kai’s marrying for love. A delightful Australian girl.’ Again with the silence. Until Mishael fills it with a sort of malicious sounding glee. ‘I’d ask you to stay and meet her, but I’m sure Kai would prefer to save those sorts of introductions for himself. He’s quite smitten, you see. And why wouldn’t he be? She’s such a lovely, wholesome sort of girl.’
It’s funny how a few moments can flip things. My hands unclench as Sofia murmurs some half-hearted congratulations before I hear her heels hurrying her out of the room.
‘She’s a nasty little trollop.’ Mishael fumes, her arms and legs crossed as she sits bolt upright in her chair. ‘Ah, there you are, my dear. Find anything you like?’
‘What? Oh, no. I’ll . . . I’ll look another time. Was that Sofia I just heard?’ My voice falters on her name, cracking as the image of her kneeling and naked flashes through my head.
‘You’ve met, have you?’ The small collection of words is delivered with a tightening of her mouth. It’s a look I’ve seen before on Kai, her mouth nothing more than a thin line. She stands, coming towards me, taking my hands in hers.
‘She’s nothing, my dear. Nothing but a very bad idea.’
‘You know?’ My voice is barely more than a whisper; one treacherous tear rolling down the side of my nose.
‘That’s her?’ Niamh exclaims, shooting out of her chair. ‘That’s the lying blow job girl!’ Her gaze flicks to my future mother-in-law. ‘Sorry about that there, Mishael.’
‘No apologies necessary. The woman is nothing but a slut.’ My mouth is now open and Niamh is sniggering. A lot. ‘But I sense something else, something not very . . . palatable regarding that . . .’ Her hands tighten on mine before she leans in and dabs at my rogue tear.
‘It’s nothing.’ Nothing I want to repeat anyway.
‘I understand,’ she replies, her face settling into a more neutral expression. ‘But I want you to know, you have nothing to fear. Kai loves you, and is well aware of how toxic she is. I’ve no idea why he married her,’ she adds.
‘Kai married that slut?’ interjects Niamh as my heart falls to my ivory platform heels.
‘No, of course not. François married her. But why, I don’t know. Anyone would think it was 1902!’
‘She’s very beautiful,’ I demur.
‘Seriously hot,’ Niamh kicks in. ‘It's like Milla Jovovich and Enrique Iglesias gave birth to a grown-up supermodel baby!’
‘I think she’s as appealing as Engelbert, myself.’
‘Who?’ we both chorus.
‘Never mind. The point is, she’s a very unappealing sort.’
‘Well, she got François to marry her, so she can’t be that unappealing.’ Probably does tricks. And, hello, I have eyes.
‘Oh my dear, no. He's not interested in her. He’s a friend of Dorothy,’ she says, her tone heavy with implication.
‘Well, Kai said he was bisexual.’
‘No, no, no! The man is as gay as a maypole—I’ve known him for years! He married, like lots of gay men did a number of years ago, for appearances sake. Although what he gets out of it, I’ll never know.
‘Maybe he gets to convert a few of the hoors harem along the way. Or at least gets to watch.’
‘Niamh!’ I chastise, but Mishael is laughing.
‘Good point,’ she says, walking me towards the changing room again. ‘I hadn’t thought of that.’
‘So he did an Elton?’ Niamh says.
‘Exactly, my dear. Some men feel forced into marriage for appearances sake, especially in conservative countries such as this, sadly. Being gay is still a huge taboo. And punishable.’
‘That is sad.’
‘It is, isn’t it? One of Faris' cousins—a quite distant cousin—has been married five times, each one ending in a divorce before the year is out. He sends them back virgins. Well, at least the first three, as far as I know. The last two have been a little knowing, shall we say. Yes, divorced and virgins, but quite rich you see? From the mahr. You can’t blame him, it’s his family. They’re either blind or seeking a cure, sadly.’
‘That’s awful,’ Niamh answers. ‘I can’t imagine having to hide who I am. Who I want to be with.’
‘You couldn’t hide that bloke,’ I answer, hoping to lighten the tone. ‘All six foot four of him. And what is he? Like a hundred and ten kilos or something?’
‘All muscle.’ Niamh laughs. ‘It’s a pity a couple of those kilos weren’t between his ears.’
And with that, the pair pull the door to the changing room closed.
‘I’ll send someone in to attend to your buttons, darling.’
From beyond the door I hear Niamh snigger as she adds, ‘Well, at least he doesn’t need any help with my buttons.’
‘Then he’s a keep
er,’ Mishael adds, the rest of her sentence lost in the distance as they draw away.
We eat lunch in downtown Dubai, Mishael ordering mimosas to go along with our salads. Yep, I’m eating a salad. Blame Kai’s boxer shorts. Afterwards, Niamh heads off to do some shopping while Mishael and I have an appointment with the wedding planner, the fabulous Phillippe.
‘Meesiiiiss Meeshaaael!’
We enter a plush set of offices set in a fancy looking strip mall, and I’ve barely closed the door before he begins to screech. I don’t know about fabulous. I’d say he was more screamin’ myself.
Phillippe turns out to be Asian, and unusual in lots of ways, though the first oddity that hits me is his height. He’s as tall as Kai, though that’s including his jet-black quiff, which is pretty impressive. The second thing I notice is that he’s immaculately and very nattily dressed. Grey flat-fronted slacks and slim electric blue belt, a pale blue tailored button-down, and hipster specs. Add designer loafers below slightly too short pants, and no socks, and I’m not sure if he’s fashion forward or fashion enslaved.
‘Darling, you look gorgeous,’ he says, stalking towards Mishael, albeit with a little camp added to those loafered steps. ‘That colour looks so well on you.’
Turns out his effusive greeting was some kind of act, his accent now very English and proper.
The pair do the Dubai double-air-kiss thing, complementing each other on various items of clothing and general health, even mentioning Botox treatments in hushed tones.
‘I get migraines,’ he says with a wink.
‘You do not!’ Mishael chastises, slapping one hand against his chest. ‘You’re just as vain as Narcissus.’
‘Well, yes,’ he admits, his hand unconsciously touching his hair. ‘But when I look in the mirror in the morning, if I see lines, my head does ache.’
‘Phillippe, you’re incorrigible! Come now, enough about you. Let me introduce you to someone very special—’
‘Be still my aching heart!’ he exclaims, adding one fake sob.
‘Er, hello,’ I answer, offering a small, hesitant wave.
‘Pay no attention to the drama queen—’
‘Guilty as charged! Come on, let’s have a look at you.’
He eyes me like a booker for Dior, which would make me the Russian teenager with a late onset of puberty. I wish! I’m probably nearer her pudgy, blini eating cousin.
‘You,’ he says with narrowed lids, ‘I should hate. But I can't!’ His expression relaxes, as does my whole frame in response. ‘If I can't have the man—I said, Meesh, she’d better be good for him!’ Taking my hands in his, he says, ‘And she says you are, so that’ll do me.’
Wow, drama llama!
‘Come, my little antipodean strumpet,’ he says, sliding an arm around my shoulder. ‘Let's get this wedding planned!’
Its night-time and I’m curled up in the snug when my mobile rings.
‘Kitten.’
Usually, that one word pours over me like warm honey. Not today.
Kitten indeed.
‘Hi.’ Even though I so suck at sexy, today I’m not in the mood for even attempting a purr.
Hmph. Purr.
‘How was your catch up with Niamh?’
I haven’t spoken to him since before she arrived. Well, not beyond a couple of bland texts.
‘Oh, you know. She stayed over, got drunk, same old, same old.’
‘You had a good time?’
‘It was good to catch up.’
‘And today?’
I’m not sullying this conversation by mentioning Essam. I need this to be just about us—I crave him right now. Just want to listen to his voice. Be absorbed in our connection, especially as we’re so far apart.
‘I went to meet my dress designer with your mum.’
I won’t mention my run-in with Sofia, either. No need to make him feel worse than he does. Plus helpless, I’d imagine, stuck on the on the other side of the planet as he is.
‘Am I allowed to ask?’
‘If Phillippe sends his love? ‘Course he did, even if I thought he was going to poke out my eyeballs at one point.’
Kai’s laugh rolls down my spine, landing right between my legs. Okay, if I’m honest, I need this conversation to be like this, too.
‘Y—your mum says if there’s an event to attend in Dubai, it will always be one of his. It’s good of him to make time for us.’
‘Sweetheart, beneath the metrosexual exterior beats the heart of a stellar businessman. Our wedding will be one of the society events of the year. Of course he wouldn’t turn us away.
‘Beating heart, huh?’ I ask sardonically. And society event of the year? Ho-ley fricken’ hell! ‘You know you’re the object of his heart’s desire?’
‘Not my type, sweetheart.’
‘Your mum says he’s always had a fondness for you.’ Kai’s snort is audible down the line. ‘I’d have to say, after meeting him, I would have thought a hardness would been nearer the mark.’
‘Funny, Kitten. He’s one of a kind, fortunately.’
‘He’s mad, Kai! Absolutely nuts. And if I wasn’t marrying you, I think I’d marry him, gay or not! He’s my kind of company. I’d have to lock all the booze away, of course.’
‘Tell me he didn’t serve champagne.’ When I don’t answer, he adds a heavy groan. ‘The pair will have been on top form. Why was he there? He’s not a dressmaker.’
‘Wash out your mouth! I’ve got a designer on the job. Dressmaker, indeed.’ My heart lurches, my mind going to who I did see at the atelier. I’d probably mispronounce the name of the place, anyway. ‘And we went to see him at his office.’
‘My darling has become a snob.’ He sounds amused, his voice almost purring, the vibration hitting me right in my knicker box. Also, snob sounds sort of like knob, doesn’t it?
‘Hey, you can take the girl out of the cane fields, but you can’t take the cane field out of the girl.’
‘Correct me if I’m wrong, but aren’t you from a metropolitan city, rather than some backwater?’
‘Depends on who you’re talking to. We’re a funny lot, us Aussies.’ And we’ve got cane toads where I’m from. Loads of the buggers. Yuck.
‘Nothing else of note happened yesterday?’ he asks, directing the conversation away from idiocy, the heavy hint in his tone.
‘Not really. Unless you mean the arrival of . . . our new arrival.’
‘Oh, you got her, did you?’ I can almost hear his smile.
‘I got her all right.’ My own tone is less than overwhelmed, and I recall how I’d meant this conversation to go. But she’s a she, is she? How the hell would you tell?
‘You don’t seem, dare I say, pleased?’
‘It was a very lovely thought, but you really shouldn’t have.’
‘I wanted—’
‘No, you really shouldn’t have.’ He begins to chuckle, low and deep. ‘I’m serious! I can’t be trusted with houseplants, never mind a living, breathing thing.’
‘She’s to keep you company. To be honest, I quite liked the idea of my pussy being curled up with yours.’
‘So, she’s your cat?’ I’m almost relieved. I didn’t know Kai was a cat person. Pussy, maybe, but pets? Not so much.
And hellooo, no responsibility!
‘That’s not exactly what I meant.’
‘Not yours—oohh.’ How can any person have a reaction like this, shoulders sagging even as an internal throbbing begins. Yes, right in his pussy, it seems. Wonder if he can feel it. I wished he bloody could.
‘Kai, do you remember the night we first got together? The—’
‘Vividly,’ he growls, and all of a sudden, I’ve forgotten where I was going with this. ‘And on more than one occasion.’
‘Really?’ This one word sounds hopeful and breathy, not to mention a little desperate.
‘That night, when I saw you outside of the hotel, you were limping slightly. Your shoes were perhaps pinching your feet? My aim at that
point was to see you barefoot, in the morning light, limping still as you left my suite.’
‘Why, were you planning on kicking me in the shins?’
‘Very funny, habibti.’
‘And they say romance is dead,’ I reply with a sigh.
‘For me, it wasn’t about romance at that point. I was just desperate to fuck you.’ His voice is all animal and growly, the pertinent word now throbbing between my legs. In a change of tone, he adds quietly. ‘Seems like a lifetime ago. Someone I was in another life. In the suite,’—he uses that tone again, the one that turns me to mush—‘I turned you against the sofa back. Do you remember?’
Not wanting to interrupt and lost in my own memories, I murmur softly that I do.
‘Your hands in mine, I felt your body stiffen against me. You were perhaps concerned?’ I remember I was. Concerned, turned on, and hanging on to my sanity by a thread. ‘The irony was, my hands were trembling badly, something that hadn’t happened in such a long time. I turned you so you couldn’t see my fingers. I turned you so you couldn’t see my need.’
‘What was I wearing?’ I ask quickly, not wanting him to stop, needing to hear how much he wanted me.
‘Are you trying to catch me out?’
‘Maybe. Or maybe I just want to hear the story from your point of view.’
‘As I recall, by that point you weren’t wearing very much at all. Delicious black lace underwear with the delicacy of an insect’s wings. That was all coming between me and your skin.’
The line goes quiet, each of us revelling in our own memories; the things that were to come.
No, not like that.
Okay. Maybe just a little bit.
And then I’m reminded of something I’ve pondered since Kai left.
‘What have you done with them?’
‘With what?’ he replies, all innocent.
‘My insect wings—I mean my knickers.’
‘I’m not sure what you mean, sweetheart—oh, wait. Of course I do.’ He sounds very pleased with himself. ‘Your underwear from our first evening? The same ones you wore our last fuck?’ His voice is a little rougher now. ‘The ones covered in your come?’