by M.A. Stacie
“Your friend is currently snuggled up on the couch, watching television. Is everything okay?”
“Yeah, how’s Meow?”
Mom tittered, “He’s pawing holes in J.J.’s leggings, trying to get comfortable. It’s rather amusing listening to her chastise him.”
“She pretends to hate him, but I know different.” I shrugged, sitting up and reaching for a mug. “Did you warn her against leaving any doors open?”
Mom confirmed she had and sat down next to Jonah. She patted him on his knee and tilted her head so that her eyes met his. “How are you doing? You seem a bit lost in thought.”
Jonah tried not to grimace, but it didn’t work. “I’m fine, Mrs. Sampson. I think I need a walk.” He looked over at me. “Mind if I have a wander along the beach, Red?”
“Sure. I can catch up with Mom while J.J. is being abused by Meow.”
He placed a soft kiss on my forehead then left us alone. I braced myself, knowing my mom would have something to say as soon as the front door closed.
Her expression was that of pure concern as she said, “He’s an extremely sad young man.”
I couldn’t deny it, because she was right. He was lost – in a state of limbo. It had to feel worse than when he ignoring his family. Right now he could only imagine what the holidays would be like with them. I suppose on some level he may feel jealous, but happiness was within his reach. In a week his family would be waiting for him with open arms.
I stared out of the window, watching as Jonah stepped onto the sand. His hair whipped around his face as his scarf billowed behind him, his stubborn nature not allowing the wind deter him.
“He’s trying, Mom. He’s just confused and needs a bit of time and patience,” I responded.
“He’s special to you.”
She made it a statement, rather than a question. It made me grin, because she knew me so well. Even spending the time apart since I moved to New York hadn’t altered our relationship. She was, and always had been, my best friend.
“I love him. Jonah’s not like other men. Before you say it, I know you’ve heard that before but I mean it. He’s mixed up and has made mistakes, but he’s turned himself around. I’m not going to lie to you, emotionally, he still has a lot of work to do. I couldn’t stop myself from falling for him, Mom. He’s such a good guy.”
Her intense gaze softened as she wrapped an arm around my shoulder. “I can see he adores you.”
“Really? Because he hasn’t ever told me, but then I only told him a few weeks ago. I wasn’t sure we could even make something of this. His emotional scars kept him closed off, and I had to fight to get him to open up to me. At one point, I actually gave up.”
“Your dad wasn’t an easy man to deal with when it came to emotions,” she interjected.
I leaned my head on her shoulder, still watching Jonah on the beach. He was talking animatedly into his cell, flashing a small smile when he spun around.
“He always told me he loved me,” I protested.
“Yes, but you were his child. It’s different. I’m sure it will be different for Jonah too. It took months for your father to tell me how he felt the first time. After that it was very infrequent. However, it didn’t stop me from knowing how he felt. Verbalization isn’t always necessary.
Sometimes feeling it is more important; sometimes it’s more of a confirmation.”
I sighed, understanding what she was telling me. I was tentative about explaining everything to her, though I knew she wouldn’t judge Jonah. She would, however, worry about me. I mentioned he’d been in trouble, yet she hadn’t questioned me any further. She appreciated and understood that people came with pasts. As a teacher, she often came face to face with it. My mother had faith in me, and the fact that she didn’t ask any more questions about his past reassured me of that.
“This is so different than it was with Nathan. It doesn’t feel forced; we’re just us.”
She hugged me tight, placing a kiss on top of my head. “And that is the way it should be, darling. I hope I grow to love him as much as you do, because that boy seems to need as much love as he can get.”
We grew silent, happy to hold each other and sort through our own thoughts.
“I’m glad to be home, Mom.”
“Me too, Ellie, and it’s good to have a full house again. I think this Christmas will be a good one.”
She rubbed my leg and stood up, squinting to see through the window, across the beach.
“You should go to him,” she pointed out.
I didn’t question her. I rushed down the stairs, pulling my coat from the hook, putting it on as I ran out of the door. I was vaguely aware of J.J.’s snoring as I slammed it shut.
The wind gave a great gust, almost knocking me over. I pushed on, gasping against its onslaught as I hit the beach running. I shouted to him, taking in his sullen form sitting on the sand. He was resting his forehead on his knees, his arms placed around his shins. He didn’t look up, but with the wind, I was sure he could hear me.
I came to a stop at his side, and flopped down onto the sand, placing my arm around his waist. I whispered directly into his ear, “Did you call them?”
“My brother.”
“Feel better?”
I felt him nod moments before he turned his head and pushed his lips against mine. It was salty and somewhat gritty from the sand, but I was powerless to stop it. I hummed and dipped my tongue into his mouth, gaining a shudder from Jonah. His hands moved up to hold my face as mine clenched in his jacket. I tried to pull him closer and grumbled when he gently pulled away.
“I love you,” I breathed, unable to stop the words spilling out.
Jonah grinned, his cheeks tingeing pink as he said, “Funny thing, I was going to say the same thing to you.”
My mouth fell open, and Jonah chuckled. I stammered, not confident that he’d all but declared his feelings for me. He didn’t let me struggle for long, though he seemed to be enjoying my surprise.
“I love you. I don’t know where we are headed, but you need to know that.”
My embrace was so tight I worried I might suffocate him, but his soft laughter revealed that he was quite content. Everything was falling into place. Now he just needed to believe he was worthy of everyone’s love, because he was certainly worthy of mine.
Christmas morning arrived. It started in the most amazing way: Jonah kissing my body, inch by glorious inch.
With each kiss, a whispered word was spoken.
“I... ”
Kiss.
“Love... ”
Kiss.
“You... ”
I tensed mid-stretch as he swirled his tongue into my navel. My fingers pushed into his dark hair, grasping it tighter when he began to nibble at my flesh. It was a luxurious way to wake-up, definitely something I could get used to. The sheets fell to the floor as we rolled around the bed groping one another. I tried hard to stay quiet; it was still early. Regardless of my age, it would be mortifying for my mom to overhear us.
“I need you,” Jonah exhaled, already poised and ready to enter me.
I kissed him, mumbling confirmation against his lips. We made slow, gentle love, taking time to peruse each other’s bodies. Our mouths devoured. Our hands teased.
Our bodies moved in unison.
It was bliss.
Jonah slipped back into slumber afterward; his head resting on my stomach, his shoulders pinning my thighs to the mattress. Though it was a bit uncomfortable, I couldn’t bring myself to move. I didn’t want to disturb him.
Sounds of movement floated into my room, alerting me that someone was awake and walking across the landing. I tugged a sheet across my breasts, and seeing that Jonah was already tangled in one, let him be.
“Elle, sweetie? Are you both awake? Decent?” My mother questioned, following up with a light tap on the door.
Jonah stirred, grumbling in the cutest of ways.
“We’re just getting up now,” I confirmed, my voice raised.
“We are?” Jonah added lowly, his eyebrows wiggling in amusement.
I laughed, pushing his questing hands off me and shouting to my mom, “We’ll be down soon.”
“I’ll have breakfast and gifts ready. Merry Christmas!”
I lay back, grinning and enjoying the utter contentment that flooded my chest. I had fretted about being here so much, worried that Jonah would feel isolated, or that J.J. would be too much for him to cope with on a twenty-four hour basis for weeks. However, they’d both surprised me, and Jonah had only a few moments of anxiety. If anything, the interactions seemed to make him stronger.
“You know... ” Jonah drawled, prowling up my body and kissing my nose. “This is the first Christmas since I was seventeen that I’ve spent with other people? And it’s the first Christmas I’ve ever woken up with someone beside me. You’re my first, Red.”
Instinct was to make light of his confession, but the sadness of the words was heartbreaking. His loneliness had gone on for far too long.
“I like being your first. Makes me feel special.”
His hands smoothed up my torso; his thumbs flicking my nipples before working their way up to cup my jaw.
“You are even more special than you realize,” he spoke in a husky voice.
“I could say the same to you.” I lifted my legs, placing them over his hips, hissing as his arousal pressed into my stomach. “We should get dressed. Mom loves eating breakfast together.”
Jonah nodded, placing a small peck on my lips and groaning as he moved off me. “Do you usually give gifts after breakfast?” He questioned, uncertain.
I sat up, placing my hand on his bare back and waited until he turned back to face me. “Nobody expects gifts from you, Jonah.”
His brows furrowed seconds before he said, “Oh no! I have presents. I just wanted to know when you did them. When I was a kid we had to wait until after Christmas lunch.”
“Really? Damn, that would have killed me as a kid!”
Jonah stood, not bothering to cover his toned, inked body. I watched him, my mouth watering, as he walked across the room to get his clothes. The sight of him caused my body to spark to life again. I wondered if it would always be this way; the sudden lust overcoming me when he was near. Just looking at him had me wanting to forgo my mom’s bacon and eggs and have a breakfast of a different kind with him.
“I know you’re staring at me.”
“And do you have a problem with that?”
“Not at all,” he chuckled, making eye contact with me. “I was just wondering... ”
“Huh?”
He crooked a finger at me and whispered as I shifted closer, “I was wondering if we had time to shower before your mom sends out a search party.”
I had no chance to respond as Jonah picked me up and carried me squealing into the bathroom.
Breakfast had never tasted so good.
We hadn’t been very late for breakfast, but the bacon was rather crisp. Jonah snarfed it as if he hadn’t eaten in weeks. My mom took the opportunity to fuss over us and my mom piled more food onto his plate.
J.J. sat nursing a black coffee, staring at the scrambled eggs as if they were poison. The blue bruises underneath her eyes made me wonder if she’d slept at all. I placed my hand on her knee, amazed when she didn’t shy away. She didn’t seem to notice the contact at all, her light blue eyes fixed on the cabinet above the sink.
“J.J., what’s wrong?” She didn’t seem to hear me, so I questioned Mom, “How long has she been like this?”
Mom shrugged, checking her appearance in the stainless steel splash-back of the stove. “She was despondent when she came downstairs earlier, but she was up late. She was talking on the phone until the wee-hours of the morning. I thought she was tired.”
Mom stood up, smoothing down her reindeer sweater. She had worn it every year since I was twenty-three, before that it was a snowman one. When I was smaller, both my dad and I were expected to partake in the tradition too. I was humiliated at age fourteen when my then boyfriend came by with my Christmas gift. He took one look at the musical Christmas tree cardigan and fled. He avoided me in school for the following five months. After that, I refused to have anything to do with festive clothing, except the holiday following my dad’s death. I wore a Christmas sweater that year, hoping to make my mom smile, but it hadn’t worked. We’d spent the whole day crying instead.
Shaking my head of the sad memories, I scraped my chair across the stone floor closer to J.J. I took the mug from her hands and placed it on the table. “J.J., what’s wrong.”
Her shoulders sagged as she exhaled noisily,
“Eli.”
I probed further as the situation started to make sense. “Was that who you were talking to last night?”
J.J. nodded. I heard Jonah stand up behind me.
He kissed my cheek whispering that he wanted to call his family before we shared gifts. He gave me an uncomfortable, knowing smile as he left the table, not wanting to stay around and intrude on the discussion. Mom gave us privacy as well, clearing the table and rinsing the dishes before putting them into the dishwasher.
“Did he upset you?” I asked, stroking her arm.
A lone tear slid down her cheek. J.J. cried in front of no one; she was a strong, independent woman who saw it as a weakness. That one tear spoke volumes about her current state.
Her voice was full of sorrow as she spoke, I hated seeing her like this. “I’ve made a horrible mistake, Elle.”
“You never meant to end it with Elijah,” I stated, seeing just what was wrong with her. “Why did you?”
“I was being stupid. The grass is greener and all that. Now I realize that’s garbage. I spent a long time searching for something that ended up finding me. Trouble was, when I got what I was looking for, I didn’t see it and let it get away.”
“It meaning Eli?”
She wasn’t listening to me. She was locked in her own little world.
“We argued after you bailed on the date with Beau. Couldn’t even tell you what we were shouting about.
We were going at it in the middle of the street. People were staring. In the end I called him a child. I told him that it was over. I was spitting mad when I got home, deleted his number from my cell.” She glared at me. “Pathetic, I know.”
“And it was Eli that you were talking to last night?”
J.J. fell forward, pressing her forehead against the wood table and moaned, “I tried to eat crow, in my usual offhand manner. Surprise! I messed it up. It turned into another argument.”
“Oh, J.J. call him again. You’ll sort it out.” I realized my response was blasé, but she needed to solve this herself. It would do her good to give a little, something she wasn’t accustomed to.
J.J. froze, and then stood up so quickly the chair flipped onto its back. “I’m going to him,” she said confidently.
I blinked, unsure whether I had heard correctly, but she began hunting around the kitchen for her possessions; the look on her face slightly maniacal.
“It’s Christmas day, you know that, right?”
“Duh! Of course I do, but I have my own way back to New York. The roads will be empty today,” she gleamed.
“My car?”
“Yes. I was going to have to drive it back anyway.”
She ran out of steam and plonked herself back down on a chair. “Tell me I’m not crazy, Elle.”
I laughed. “You’re not. You’re just in love, remember that next time you decide to be so judgmental about the choices I’ve made regarding Jonah.” I kept my tone light, but I was serious.
“I’ve been a shitty friend. I’m sorry. I wasn’t there when you needed me, there’s no excuse for that.”
I was dubious, because she appeared to have changed overnight. I had to admit I liked this version of J.J.
“You were there,” I reasoned. “But you were quick to jump to your own conclusions.”
She embraced me, holding me tight and
apologizing again. I told her she needed to eat before she drove home, but after a twenty minute conversation while she packed her suitcase, I was no closer to getting her to stay. Mom ended up making her a sack lunch. The three of us stood on the porch in the blistering cold as she pulled out of the driveway. Jonah snickering at the sudden change in J.J., as well as the fact the she was driving on Christmas day to ask Elijah back.
“Shut up!” I snapped. “You better be willing to do the same for me, sunshine!”
I pushed at his chest, trying to fend him off as he moved to hug me. I wasn’t serious, and he knew it, so he continued to corral me into the corner of the porch, ignoring my mom.
“Is this where you want me to get all corny on you, Red?” His voice was low, husky and did wonderful things to my insides.
I wound my arms around his neck, enjoying the pressure of his body against mine. “Never corny,” I denied.
“You could never be that.”
“You two are giving the neighbors a tasty nugget to chat about later. I’m freezing. Are we going to start this day, or are you staying out in the cold?”
“Coming, Mrs. Sampson.” Jonah grinned as he steered me across to the front door.
The wall clock on the way in showed it was now after twelve. Mom was worrying about starting dinner, though there was no rush. At this moment in time, it wouldn’t bother me if we sat down to eat at ten o’clock tonight.
“Mom, please don’t fret. Let’s sit and open some gifts. Jonah and I will lend a hand with dinner later.”
She shuffled over to the Christmas tree that still housed the baubles I’d made as a child. Meow was batting at one of the ones that dangled from a lower branch, amusing himself. Mom grabbed two red gift bags and brought them over to the couch where I’d snuggled down.
Jonah decided the floor was a better option, and sat between my legs, his fingers running up and down my shins absentmindedly.
“Now these are yours, but you hang on Jonah, I have one under the tree for you, too.” She walked back to the tree, her velvet skirt swishing around her ankles.
“Mrs. Sampson, you didn’t need to-”
“Will you stop with that Mrs. Sampson stuff? Call me Hannah, and you’re right, I didn’t need to get you anything. I wanted to.” She handed him a large green gift bag and smile warmly. “Now take it. Merry Christmas, Jonah.”