by Potter, LR
Against her ear, he asked softly, “Do you need anything?”
“No,” she whispered.
Leisurely, he ran his fingertips up and down her arm.
“Can I ask you something?” he asked, his face buried in her riotous blonde curls.
“Yes.”
“What happened to hurt you so much?”
She stiffened at his question. “I don’t know what you mean,” she answered softly.
His hand stilled at her answer momentarily, before starting again. “You seemed scared afterwards.”
Swallowing, she struggled to come up with something he’d believe. “Isn’t everyone apprehensive at the beginning of a relationship?”
“You don’t have anything to worry about, okay?” he whispered, and kissed the back of her neck.
“I know,” she whispered back, while not really believing it. But no matter, she was safe in the knowledge she’d always have this memory to keep for herself. When things became hard and unbearable in the future, she’d flash back to this awesome moment in time when everything was golden.
“What time is your first class in the morning?”
“Eight o’clock,” she answered, brought back to reality. Her mind going back to the stupid computer software program and now, her lack of a laptop; even if she could scrape together enough for the stupid program. She sighed deeply.
“What?” he asked.
She gave a small shake of her head. “Nothing.”
“I don’t have to be at work until nine, so how about you stay the night, we’ll have breakfast in the morning, then I’ll take you home?” he asked as he sensually licked the outer edges of her ear, causing flames of desire to begin again in her belly.
“Okay,” she said as she turned in his arms, bringing them face to face.
He grinned. “Okay,” he parroted before pressing his lips against hers and sliding them into the sexual abyss once more.
Chapter 4
“… and so I was like, it’s only one C, mom, let it go. And she was all, you need to try harder, Tiffany. Is it so wrong that I have a life? She is sooo clueless…”
Tate tuned out the chatty Tiffany and smiled at her internal memories: the slide of Jace’s heated skin against her own; the feel of his soapy hands as they slid over her body in the shower; the pressure of his lips as they shared a slice of pear at breakfast; and his pressing her so urgently against her apartment door before giving her one last lingering kiss and sprinting off down the stairs.
The clearing of the Professor’s throat brought Tate back to her surroundings. The words Pop Quiz were written across the blackboard. Blinking rapidly, she reached into her bag and grabbed a pencil – grinning at how far removed her memories of Jace had taken her. Oh, life was good!
She couldn’t wipe the silly grin off her face as she sat through class after class. And the things that normally kept her riveted, she couldn’t focus on. Her thoughts revolved entirely around Jace and his touch, his smell, and his kiss. It was nice to be… connected to someone in this way.
It wasn’t until her last class that her true reality came crashing in. This was the class she needed the software program for. They’d given her an extension of two weeks to get it, but that was now over. She sat down with a heavy heart, waiting for the moment when she would be asked to leave the class.
Her heart began to pound when Ms. Merritt, the professor of the class, made her way towards her. Tate gripped the strap of her backpack on her shoulders in preparation to leave. She bowed her head in shame, not wanting to look into the kind professor’s eyes. She stared uncomprehendingly when the professor set a compact disc in a purple case on her desk. Written in silver lettering were the words: The Art of Graphic Design. This was the software program she needed for this class.
“I don’t understand,” she said softly.
“The office sent it over. Ms. Mason said she hadn’t been able to catch you between classes.”
Lifting woeful eyes to the professor, Tate began to slowly shake her head. “It’s not mine.”
The professor’s eyes clouded in confusion. “Did you already have the disk?”
“No. I couldn’t come up with the money,” Tate said, embarrassed.
“Well, perhaps your family purchased it for you through the office,” Professor Merritt murmured encouragingly.
“No. That can’t be it,” Tate said emphatically.
“Well, sometimes good things happen.”
Tate sat through the class, refusing to touch the purple CD case. No matter what the professor said, good things did not ever happen to her. When the class ended, she scooped up the offending CD and headed to the Registrar’s office. Ms. Mason was sitting at her desk, combing through pages and pages of computer printouts – financial input, if the lists of numbers was any indication.
Ms. Mason looked up when Tate cleared her throat. She motioned Tate forward. When within range, Tate set the CD on her desk. Ms. Mason lifted confused eyes.
Clearing her throat, Tate said, “There seems to be some mistake, this isn’t mine.”
Her eyes crinkled as she smiled. “There is no mistake. You have an anonymous benefactor,” she said, apparently happy to disclose this information.
With a straggled voice, Tate whispered, “Who was it?”
With a laugh, Ms. Mason said, “He made me promise not to tell.”
Jace!
Tears stung her eyes. Blindly, she turned to leave.
“Don’t forget your disk, dear,” Ms. Mason called.
She almost just kept going, but instead turned, and picked up the CD.
§§§
Tate’s only two nights off from Zeal’s were Sundays, as they were closed, and Mondays. Once she left the college, she stopped by the grocery store on her way home and picked up a couple cans of soup and more instant noodles. Instant noodles were a college student’s best friend; it couldn’t be beat at three packages for a dollar.
With a heavy heart, she slugged up the stairs to her apartment. She was surprised, but probably shouldn’t have been, to see the windowpane had been replaced in the door just as Jace had promised. Why had he purchased the CD? It wasn’t like paying for dinner or picking up a pizza. It was a lot of money. Didn’t he realize he’d crossed a line? She had her pride. If she’d wanted him to buy it, she’d have asked him. She’d never even told him that she needed it. How had he found out? Well, it didn’t matter either way, she wasn’t a charity case – not anymore. She hadn’t even felt this dirty when Mr. Smith had reached out his grubby little fingers and touched her.
Her cellphone began ringing at seven-o-five. Then the texts began. She ignored them and finally cut her phone off. She wasn’t sure what to say to him yet. Her heart was so heavy. The day had started so magical, and in one move – a move she knew he’d thought of as good – he’d pointed out once again the huge gulf between them. He was a doctor from a good family; and she was Patanga Moon, whose parents had tried to sell her innocence for money. Patanga Moon, who’d spent her later teenage years in and out of foster homes. Patanga Moon, whose mother was shot to death during a police raid, and whose father was currently serving twenty-to-life in a state prison in Illinois.
Jace was just an unattainable dream – like the angel. She sat staring into her soup as she slowly stirred her spoon through it, pretending she was actually going to eat it. Finally, she pushed the soup away from her, and instead, grabbed the Jim Beam and a glass. She poured a measure and sat back in her chair. She swirled the whiskey in her mouth and slowly swallowed. It burned all the way down. She desperately wanted to call Jace and pretend everything was as it had been this morning. But she’d always known the end was coming. Better to let it go now while she could make it through it.
She jumped at the pounding on her door. Through the new window in the door, her tawny, troubled eyes met his stormy, brilliant blue eyes. Swallowing another sip of her drink, she picked up the software program, rose, and headed to the door – preparing herself
for what was to come.
She opened the door and leaned against its frame.
“Damn it, Tate. What the hell is going on? I’ve called you about a dozen times and texted you at least that often.”
Wordlessly, she handed him the CD. Automatically, he reached out a hand and took it. He glanced down and raised confused eyes to her gaze.
“I don’t understand. What is this?”
“It’s the software program you purchased this morning. I never used it, so you should be able to get your money back,” she said as calmly as she could.
“I… I… it was a gift. It was something you needed, something you were worried about. I thought I was helping…” he trailed off.
“Jace, I know I’m only a waitress, but I do have my pride. If I was a different type of person, I could probably smile and say ‘thank you very much, oh kind sir,’ but I’m not that person. You took what was a beautiful thing and made it sordid and dirty. You made me feel like a whore.”
“No,” he said sharply, “God, no. I didn’t mean it that way. I was just worried about you. You’ve been under so much stress and I thought I could help make things better. It wasn’t that big of a deal.”
“If it wasn’t that big a deal, why did you feel the need to step in and save the little woman,” she said sarcastically, making air-quotes with her fingers. “And how did you even know I needed it? Have you been spying on me?”
Jace ran a hand through his hair and scrubbed his face. “I knew you were upset about something, so I looked at the history on my laptop after you used it. I don’t know what to say here. I’m sorry. I only meant to help you. If it offends you this much, I’ll certainly take it back. But I want you to think about something, if there was something I needed and you were in the position to give it to me, wouldn’t you?”
His question gave her pause. For so long she’d had to fight and scratch for everything in her life. She couldn’t ever remember a time when anyone had considered her needs, then acted on them.
Leaning forward, he placed a warm palm against her cheek. “Tate, I won’t apologize because I make a decent living. It made me happy to do this for you. I work so many hours and get so little pleasure out of the money I make. But this made me happy. Please accept this gift in the way I intended it. Please?”
Tate dragged in a shuddering breath. His words pierced her heart. He was going to hurt her badly; she could already see the writing on the wall. She closed her eyes as he pressed his lips against hers with the very lightest of touches. She whimpered in indecision. Could she risk it? She inhaled sharply and his scent surrounded her. Throwing caution to the wind, she linked her fingers together behind his neck and drew him down to her as she opened up to him. He placed his hands on her hips and slowly backed her into the apartment, kicking the door shut with his foot. He tossed the CD onto the table, lifted her into his arms, and carried her into the bedroom.
Chapter 5
The next couple of weeks settled into a routine of sorts. Tate and Jace managed to spend most every night together, either at his place or at hers when he wasn’t working. Since his roommate’s return, they’d spent every night at her apartment. Together they’d christened every area of her apartment: the bed, the shower, the kitchen table; and even against the railing at the top of the stairs. She’d learned to turn a blind eye when he brought food into the house. He’d even brought his laptop over because he needed to be able to check his emails, he’d said. But she knew it was because she’d broken hers. At least he hadn’t run out and bought her a new one. She could live with borrowing his.
The weekends were the hardest – not the weekends so much, as watching the women fawn all over her gorgeous man. And now that he’d made passionate love to her, she wanted him only to herself. Hard as she tried not to, she felt very… territorial over him. He was very careful with his dealings with the opposite sex, but it still nagged at her. He had a lot of screaming women vying for his attention, how could she possibly compete?
It was Saturday night, the bar was closed, and they were sitting together at the bar, sharing a drink. They were in a celebration of sorts as they were both off the next day. He leaned over and began to whisper into her ear all the wicked things he was going to do to her once they reached upstairs. She giggled in delight and turning quickly, she pounded her drink and said goodnight to everyone. He laughed as she tugged him to his feet. She felt for the first time like the twenty-one-year-old she was… she was happy; he made her happy.
The sun was streaming through the curtains when she forced her eyes open. It’d been a late night. Jace was snuggled up against her naked flesh and she lay very still, enjoying the sensation of just being beside him – normally, either one or both had to be up and moving. She liked the way her hair blew against her cheek when he exhaled in his sleep. It all seemed so… normal, sleeping in together on a Sunday.
As she tried to ease from the bed, he snaked his arms around her and drew her back. “And where do you think you’re going?” he rasped groggily.
“To put on the coffee.”
He paused as he contemplated his specific needs. “Okay, put the coffee on, but come right back.”
She scurried from the bed, put on the coffee, and returned to find Jace getting dressed.
Frowning, she asked, “And where are you going, cowboy?”
“The hospital called. I’m sorry, but I’ve got to go in. This is what happens when you date a doctor,” he said with a grin.
Disappointment flooded her, but she didn’t want to make him feel bad about having to go to work. Sidling up to him, she allowed her housecoat to fall open as she wrapped her arms around his neck. He groaned as he slid his hands around her middle then down to cup her bottom.
“God, I want you,” he muttered against her mouth.
“Take me,” she whispered, “quick!”
She giggled once more when, ten minutes later, he was running around getting redressed. He leaned down and gave her a quick kiss before darting out the door.
He returned and stuck his head in the door. “Don’t forget, we’re having dinner with Sean tonight. I don’t know how late I’ll have to work, so I’ll call you when I’m on my way here.”
He left once more and disappointment swept through her when she heard the apartment door close. “My prince is gone,” she moaned.
The day dragged miserably without Jace. Tate felt cheated. She felt that her most precious commodity, Jace’s time, had been stolen from her. She threw herself into her old leather chair when she got a text from Jace saying he had to work another shift. He begged her not to be mad, but promised dinner with Sean the next night. He said he’d call when he got off work the next day.
Monday came with its promised rain. It suited her mood. It bothered her how much her life was tied up with Dr. Jace Staton. She almost wished he had a different job, like a stockbroker or banker – anything that would allow her more time with him.
On her way home, she stopped by her post office box to collect her mail. Her box was crammed full, as she’d not checked it in nearly two weeks. Outside of bills, there was never any urgency to check the box. Upon entering the apartment, she threw the mail on the table and went to change for dinner with Jace and Sean. She’d never met Jace’s roommate and was a little uncertain. She wanted Sean to like her, but she was also resentful of having to share what precious little time she had with Jace with anyone. She was selfish and she knew it.
Once dressed, she returned to the kitchen and poured a glass of the orange juice Jace kept stocked in her fridge. Idly, she sorted her mail; circulars in one stack and bills in the other. She was surprised to see an envelope with Hallmark stamped across the back. There was no return address on the outside. Her immediate thought was Jace had sent it. With a smile on her lips, she tore open the envelope and slipped out the card. It was lavender with yellow roses winding up a trellis. Happy Birthday! It proclaimed. She’d nearly forgotten it was in two days. She’d be twenty-two – most of the time,
she felt years beyond that. How had Jace found out? She’d never mentioned it. She didn’t like celebrating her birthday, not since she’d turned the magical age of thirteen.
Flipping the card open, she watched a one hundred dollar bill float down to the table. What the hell? She glanced down at the signature and froze momentarily. Blinking rapidly, she skipped the printed section of the card and went to the personal handwritten words:
Sorry it’s been so long. Can’t believe it’s been another year already. Send me a line when you can. Do something fun for your birthday… that’s an order, young lady. Take care of yourself. Love, Alan.
With a touch of melancholy, she smiled at the words. Alan Tracey, the only person, outside of Jace who’d ever really given a damn about her. But in the end, he’d thrown her away just as surely as her own father had. While he’d not been to blame for the chain of events Nick had put into play, he’d not stood up for her – protected her as he’d promised.
Tate didn’t know how long she sat staring off into the distance, but jumped when her cellphone buzzed at six o’clock – Jace calling to say he was on his way. Jace reminded her of Alan. He was strong and kind and made her feel special… worthwhile, even. Would he, like Alan, toss her aside? Most likely, she thought.
When he arrived at her door, her heart constricted in her chest. He looked so tired and worn, and there were dark circles under his eyes. She reached up and ran her fingertips over his tired features.
“Long day?”
“Too many late nights, I’m afraid. I may have to leave the band. I’m not a teenager anymore. I can’t burn the candle at both ends like I used to,” he lamented.