by Ann, Pamela
Or was it because there was a grain of truth in the story, that there was a baby truly hiding somewhere in Spain? After all, Blake had spent a lot of time on the Spanish coast before the casino had opened. And since he’d slept with a lot of women right after we broke up that first time, would it be possible that he forgot to use protection? Or worse, maybe he had forgotten to check if it broke right after they fucked each other brainless.
From the stories I had heard from Toby and Blake, he had been quite the budding stud for those months, fucking anything and everything beautiful on a nightly basis.
Biting my bottom lip, I was frightened to think further because I knew where my train of thought could lead. Besides, there was the matter of bringing this controversial subject up that would most definitely cause an uproar between us. After all that, when everything was said and done, could I stand and support my husband if, in fact, the rumor was true of him fathering a child somewhere?
It felt like I was being stabbed each time I thought of a baby, maybe about two-years-old. A baby that looked exactly like Blake. It was an indirect betrayal, yet I couldn’t fault him for sleeping around right after I broke up with him and turned down his proposal.
My thoughts went on a reprieve once the cab deposited me at our house in Chelsea. After I got past the gate, I pulled out my house keys and let myself in. The vast foyer and the silence greeted me coldly.
Looking around, I hugged my purse to my chest, wondering what I would do once Blake found out, if the rumors were true, that he had fathered a baby. I wasn’t an idiot. I knew he had wanted a baby for so long, and once the shock wore off, I knew in every fiber in me that he would seek out his child and do anything to be with his son or daughter. Would he leave me then and resume his relationship with the child’s mother since I knew he would want everything for his child?
Blake loved unconditionally, and knowing that fact scared me to no end. Because, even though he loved me until Kingdom come, he’d readily give me up to have what he had longed for, for quite some time now.
If that day came, could I give him up, or should I set him free? The question made me feel faint.
My mind was a battle zone. My heart was full of grievance. How could life be so cruel? Hadn’t I suffered enough just to be with him? I had fought as hard as I could since day one, fending off all those aggressive, borderline crazy women, and now, another bomb had been dropped before me. It ticked ominously until it was ready to welcome itself to the world, blasting everything I had worked so hard to get, everything that my heart treasured.
This was my home. Blake Knightly was my home. However, without my man by my side, I would be the same abandoned girl again, drifting about life, unsure of everything and with nothing to look forward to.
Reflecting on what life would be like without Blake was a grim future. Yet, I couldn’t help myself. I thought of all the possibilities because, after the tragedy of my parents, life had been beyond cruel. Therefore, being enabled to picture all these scenarios actually helped with my mental health. I didn’t want to be surprised or shocked. This was my way of preparing for all the wrong things that could happen.
This was how I survived. This was how I lived.
Trying to calm my nerves, I pushed myself to get on my feet and attempt to get ready for school because today I had to go straight to my internship with Stella von Berg’s PR firm. As much as I liked her, that woman was pretty intuitive. Her warm smiles and comforting demeanor would make me spill all the ugliness that was threatening to come out of my mouth, and I wasn’t ready to say it out loud because, once I did, I could never take it back. Because, in the depths of my soul, a major part of me wished to God this was all it was, just a plain, nasty rumor.
Blake was bound to inherit an obscene amount of money once William died. Topped with his own billions, one could imagine all the raving gold-diggers that had rubbed his shoulders would claim anything they could to get their hands on a chunk of that pie.
Moreover, knowing how Blake had been before, the gold-digger line probably was beyond vast.
~
After school, I immediately went straight to work. I wasn’t even seated before Stella cheerily appeared before me while I gave a suspicious look because I was thinking that this could be her way of trying to cheer me up because Callum—her hot husband—must’ve confirmed the lovechild. I mean, come on, these people were powerful. I was sure they had the capacity and means to confirm the rumor with a click of a button.
I did, too, if I wanted to. However, I couldn’t comprehend heading straight into a blazing fire without being prepared for it. I needed more time.
“I heard about William Knightly. Is he out of danger?” Stella asked me with a concerned look while I got reminded that Blake hadn’t yet called me, nor tried to send me any messages.
I shook my head, feeling the melancholy settle in my system. “Blake is a mess…” So was I, but for completely different reasons.
“Poor love. I’m sure he is. He’s lucky to have you to support him through this difficult time.”
If he would let me, I wanted to say, but I changed my mind at the last second. The last thing I needed to do was give any indication to anyone—even if it was Stella, whom I trusted quite a great deal—that Blake and I were having some mild issues with him deciding to be incommunicado.
“Well, I was hoping you were up for some coffee. We could go to the café a few blocks down the road.”
Yeah, maybe walking and some fresh air would clear up the insanity that ran havoc in my head. “I think that would be a lovely idea, actually. I could use some caffeine in my system.”
Plucking my purse out of the drawer, we both headed downstairs and out of the building. Strolling with comfortable silence, we were lost in our own thought and didn’t speak until we were finished ordering our chosen hot beverage.
Cradling our steamy cups, I was slowly sipping mine when she took the initiative in breaking the silence. “I know this might be an odd time to bring it up, but I’m beyond ecstatic and needed to share the news with people that I’m close with.”
She was such a lovely person. Not only was she beautiful, but her heart was pure gold. I was honored that she considered me a great friend. I didn’t have much in that department, and having such a friend as her was worth more than having ten people in my life that didn’t care much about me. There was friendship and there was the friendship. Stella was categorized in the latter.
“Remember that time I told you that Cal and I were trying?” she added, making me pause, frowning, as I tried to recall what she truly meant. She said a lot of things to me, subsequently this was such a tricky question.
“Yes, I think I do.” I thought a second and hoped we were on the same page since I was a little slow on the uptake today. “Why? Did he change his mind?” I teased, hoping this was about their baby-making pact.
She made a face, grinning. “Well, even if he did, he has little choice in the matter because I’m five weeks pregnant.” She rushed out the words in haste, almost making me choke on my coffee.
“What?” I jumped out of my seat, perplexed. “My God, congratulations! I’m so happy for you!” I went around and hugged the living crap of her, over the moon for her and her new baby bean. Of all the people I knew, Stella deserved all the happiness life had to offer. She was just so nice and so kind-hearted it would be heartbreaking to think someone meant to hurt her.
“Me, too. I just found out earlier today,” she said in between laughs as we situated ourselves back to our seats. “After all this frenzy at work, I seriously had forgotten about my cycle altogether.” Her eyes became glassy, and she had this awe and glowing look about her.
And for a tiny, miniscule second, there was a painful tug in my heart, thinking about that lovechild rumor earlier today.
“I bet Callum is over the moon,” I murmured as I focused on my coffee, wanting to banish the thoughts of weighing the possibility of Blake’s baby.
“Maybe,” she sa
id mildly before she decided to reach out for my hand and give it a light squeeze. “The thing is, I don’t know how to tell him.” She paused before making a sour face. “We had a small tiff, and he’s been ignoring me until I say I’m sorry…”
They, too, shared quite a passionate yet over-the-top, crazy relationship. I supposed it was quite common when you paired an over-confident, dominating man and a woman who was not used to being bossed around, stubborn, and didn’t like to be second best. Both demanded everything from the other. Intense. Passionate. Raw and unhinged. Those were the best kinds of crazy that made me fall mad for Blake in the first place.
Back to Stella’s quandary, I raised my eyes, wondering out loud, “What did you do to get him mad?”
“I made a tease, and he took it to heart.” She sighed before folding her arms around her chest. “One would think that a man with his caliber wouldn’t be such a drama queen.”
This time, I did choke on my coffee. “You’re definitely hormonal,” I said the second my passages cleared out.
The naughty, sexy Callum Kensington a drama queen? Goodness. That was the funniest thing I had heard in such a long time. And I admit, belting out a laugh felt truly fantastic.
“I know.” She shook her head in dismay. “Anyhow, I was hoping I could invite you and Blake over for dinner to sort of lift his mood, then I’ll tell him later that night,” she suggested, eyeing me with those hopeful, pretty eyes.
“Of course, we’d love to be there,” I replied without needing to think. “When do you plan to have it?” As if I’d ever say no. This meant everything to her. I wouldn’t dare stand in between that.
“Tomorrow night. I hope that’s okay since it’s such a short notice, but I’m quite nervous. What if he tells me that he doesn’t want it anymore? We haven’t really spoken about babies for months now. We’ve just been so busy—”
“Stella, you’re making up all this nonsense for nothing. Callum loves you, and he’s going to be over the moon when he finds out that he’s going to be a father soon.”
She made a beaming smile. “I hope you’re right.”
I knew I was where she and Callum were concerned. As for my own problems, though, I wasn’t even sure how to handle them.
Maybe brushing it to the side and never mentioning it to anyone. Maybe, just maybe it would go away like it never happened. I mean, if it were true, Blake surely would’ve said something to me.
Yeah, there was nothing to worry about until Blake himself confirmed it to me. Therefore, before that ever happened, the best thing to do was surely pretend that our marriage life was great. Apart from William’s health problems, Blake and I were stronger than ever.
The Great Pretender
Sienna
“Blake?” I rushed out the moment he took the call. “You there?”
After a long pause, there was a soft grumbling sound before I heard his voice. “I’m here.” That was all he said, not providing me anything else to work around his mercurial mood at the moment.
Why wasn’t he being forthcoming?
“How’s William? Is he up? I could come over. Let me just change, and I’ll be on my way. Do you want me to get you something to eat on the way?”
“It’s fine. Actually, there’s no need for you to come because I’ll be heading home soon. We’ll speak then.” He sounded exhausted.
Not wanting to press about the issue, I merely nodded before saying, “Okay, I’ll stay and wait for you then.”
We said our goodbyes after a second, but even after we hung up, I felt the dread sink into me, hoping that what he meant with we’ll speak then was about his father and not the other problem I’d been meaning to hide from.
He didn’t come home until two hours later, and in that space of time, I had managed to rearrange my closet just to pass the time because I was so strung up with tension. If I pondered for another second what would come out of Blake’s mouth the second he came home, it would drive me mentally ill.
I actually didn’t hear him arrive until he knocked on the wood side panel of my walk-in closet, making me jump out of my skin and my heart catch in my throat. Never in my life had I been this nervous.
This territory was new to me—not knowing how he’d take anything, from his grandfather’s sickness to the rumor turning out being more real than I hoped. The unknown was terrifying.
It felt like we were at the tipping point where my life would either sink or swim. I could lose everything; all the hard work we invested on each other, our marriage. If I lost him, where would I go? What would I do?
“You seem to have a lot of energy today,” he observed, eyes wandering around my closet before he finally landed those powerful eyes on me, unreadable.
“I needed to distract myself.” I looked at my great progress yet didn’t feel any relief. “How’s William, Blake?”
“He woke up today, and the doctor said that he needs to cut down on cigars and drinking. Overall, his condition is progressing well. Quite well, so much so that one could hope.”
A huge smile pasted on my lips before I almost ran to him and flung my arms around his waist. Happiness escaped me as I looked up at him and gave him a peck on the lips. “This is truly a blessing,” I murmured. “Everything’s going to be okay.”
His arms enveloped me for the first time after all this worry, and the very feel of him responding to my touch was exhilarating. God, I loved this man too much. I lived for him. I breathed for him.
“This might be such a wrong timing to even mention, but Stella’s pregnant and she wants us to go over and have dinner with them tomorrow evening before she breaks the news to Callum. Isn’t that amazing?” I looked up to him, hoping he’d agree because I had already given my word we would.
My smiling face went on a dour note when I got the sinking feeling he was about to decline the invitation.
“This has been too much to take in. I know you adore Stella and Callum, and I do, too, but I cannot be bothered with being around people. I just can’t be bothered, cara.” He seemed to have meant it. “You’re more than welcome to go tomorrow, if you like, but I can’t. I have so much on my plate. Besides, I haven’t rested yet. I’m beyond knackered.”
What was I thinking? Of course he’d decline. His granddad had almost died, and here I was, wondering if he’d go to a dinner party because my friend was expecting her first child. I was being inconsiderate and quite selfish to even bring it up to him.
“I’m sorry. That was very selfish of me to even ask of you. I’ll tell Stella that we can’t make it, but we’re over the moon about her pregnancy. I’m sure she’ll understand.” Stella Kensington would get it more than most women. She’d probably even send something to William just because. She was simply like that; born and bred with excruciating etiquette, even if she wasn’t feeling great.
“Thank you, poppet,” he whispered before kissing my forehead.
I sighed deeply before resting my cheek on his chest, breathing him in. “We’re going to be okay.” The words comforted the troubles in my heart. Granted, I wasn’t sure if he knew anything about that pesky rumor, but why rock the boat when things were starting to brighten up again?
Seeking his eyes, he gazed down on me with a certain look that used to make my stomach churn and heave, but at this instant, it simply gave me breathlessness.
“Sienna?” he murmured just as my heart stopped beating.
“Yeah?”
He didn’t blink before he opened his mouth to say, “We have to talk about something quite important.”
I wanted to bite my tongue so we didn’t have to talk about it. Whatever it was, I knew it might be something I wouldn’t like. He always gave off this vibe about him when he was going to give me bad news. But as much as I wanted to stay in the dark and postpone the inevitable, I knew in my heart that this moment was as good as any. At least, if we had it out in the open, we’d deal with it like all married couples do. I truly hoped we’d deal with whatever this was together.
“I love you more than words could express, more than anything I had ever imagined. I love you, Sienna. I just want you to know that.”
Jesus, where was he going with this? I swallowed, my throat nearly parched, while I nodded in earnest, hoping he’d continue his speech before I passed out of agitation.
With each passing second, I felt my surroundings closing in. However, I wouldn’t let my childhood coping mechanism take over because this was different. This time, the man that might irrevocably cause my pain was my husband. My family. My home.
“This whole nightmare brought everything to surface, most especially my parents’ passing, and I realized that if grandfather died, I’d have no direct kinship by blood. There’s Clive of course, but he’s my second cousin. It’s a tad difficult to express what my heart truly wants to say, but I’ll say it in the easiest way that I know…” He paused, searching for my eyes while I remained at the edge of a cliff, ready to throw myself down the second he said anything that had divorce in it.
So I waited with bated breath.
And kept waiting…
Until he finally had the courage to continue.
“I want a baby.”
I blinked back a few times, staring at him in shock. “I beg your pardon?”
“I want a child of our own. I want—need—a child with you.”
Bloody fuck. The tightness in my throat worsened. This was the opposite of what I had expected. Staring back at him, wide-eyed and speechless, I kept repeating the word baby in my mind.
He wanted a baby. With me. He needed a child.
“But why; we’re still so young?” I asked like a ninny, even though I knew what he was going to say. I still needed him to clarify.
“I know I promised I’d wait, but this was before Grandfather’s near-death encounter. Call me selfish, but I want him to see that I’m continuing our bloodline. I want him to leave this earth knowing he need not worry about me, that I will have a child to focus on instead of mourning the loss of losing him. All of these reasons have placed my desires of being a father in the forefront. But most of all, I want to see you ripe with child—my child—growing inside of you. The minute the image of you pregnant was instilled in my brain, I simply couldn’t live without it…”