by Kami Kinard
“Terrible,” said Chip. “They’re awful. Thought you’d wanna know.” He was smiling sheepishly at Kara, who was not smiling back. At all.
“Buy one of ours, then, to get that terrible taste out of your mouth,” Pri joked, trying to smooth things over. Her suggestion ended up having the opposite effect.
“Ummmm.” Chip was looking down, shuffling his feet. “I can’t right now…. I’m out of cash.”
Nobody said anything. I kinda felt sorry for Chip. Kinda, but not enough to help him out.
“How about I buy one today and pay tomorrow?” he offered. “You take credit, right?”
That was the last straw for Kara. “Your credit is no good here!”
I know she didn’t mean to, but she yelled it loud enough to make people turn around. It was kind of bad for our already bad business. But Kara didn’t notice. By this time, she was flying across the cafeteria like a kite in a windstorm. As she left, she rushed by Jonah Nate’s table so fast that she accidentally knocked his chocolate milk to the floor.
“Kaaaaraaaa!” he cried. But Kara’s been blocking out Jonah Nate for so long that she didn’t even hear him.
Chip turned to Pri and me. “What should I do?”
Pri surprised me by getting all sassy. “Go get advice from the girl who sold you that cupcake.”
Chip turned around and walked away with slumped shoulders.
Pri didn’t seem to notice. Her big brown-black eyes were already back to focusing on Maybelline. “Her boxes are empty,” she said.
“Meaning?”
“She sold twenty-four, and we sold four.” Pri sighed. “Her cupcakes don’t even look like they taste good,” she added. “So why are they selling, instead of ours?”
“Because she’s not selling cupcakes,” I said. “She’s selling popularity.”
It was so FRUSTRATING!
I started packing up cupcakes as fast as I could. The bell was gonna ring any minute now, and I didn’t want Maybelline walking by and seeing my mountain of unsold cupcakes.
When I first got here, I thought Pri was absent. But I was wrong! Turns out my eyes were so used to seeing her in loud colors that I didn’t notice her sitting quietly in a white T-shirt until I was close enough to read the black writing on the front. I couldn’t help it — I busted out laughing.
Perfect! Is it too much to hope that Maybelline heeds the warning?
The good news: We sold all twenty-four cupcakes!
The bad news: Chip bought twenty of them!
The bad news for Chip: Kara didn’t care. She sold all twenty with her nose in the air and her eyes focused on the ceiling above his head. Poor guy.
The really bad news as pointed out by Pri: “Maybelline’s booth is wrecking our probability project. How can we know which flavors students prefer when they’re buying her cupcakes instead of ours? Chip buying everything he can to get Kara back doesn’t count. I’m pretty sure he’s not thinking about flavors.”
* * *
My prediction: We’re in trouble.
While packing away the twenty — yes, twenty — cupcakes we still had on our hands at the end of lunch, I decided it was time to wave the white flag of surrender. I was sick of this. Sick of the humiliation. Sick of wasting time and money. Sick of worrying my cousin’s school might not get the library it needed.
“I’m done!” I said. “We started a great project for a great cause, and that … that manicured Komodo dragon is ruining it all. I’ve baked my last cupcake!” When I said this, my voice was as quavery as Jell-O. !
Then Pri said the weirdest thing: “Do you think because you are virtuous, that there shall be no more cakes?”
“Huh?” said Kara and I at the exact same time.
“Shakespeare,” said Pri. “It’s a quote.”
“And you’re quoting Shakespeare because …” said Kara.
“I think he meant the nice guy does not always win. But we can’t give up! If we do, Five Corners Elementary won’t get the money. And we’ll fail our big algebra project.”
“She’s right,” said Kara. “I say we don’t give up. It’s not your style, Tabs. Aren’t you the girl who never backs down?”
Know what? I am that girl! We wouldn’t back down. But something had to change. We needed a plan. A battle plan.
You know that white flag of surrender I mentioned earlier? Well, I’m ripping it into strips and using it for bandages — the enemy is gonna need ’em to bandage up her pride!
* * *
My prediction: It’s not over until we’ve raised six hundred dollars! (After that, Maybelline can sell all of the overprocessed, made-from-a-mix cupcakes she wants.)
After lunch, I had these things tipping the balance on my scales of happiness:
Having to take home uneaten cupcakes
Realizing Alex B will never like me, unless I turn into a cupcake
Knowing that Maybelline is outselling us with an inferior product
Being so busy with cupcakes that I haven’t had time to work on my more important project — the one that uses probability to help me predict how to find a boyfriend
Then something wonderful happened that tipped the scales right back where they should be. I was walking down the hall when I heard a cell phone blaring — it had a ringtone like a fire alarm! Everyone knows to shut their ringers off before entering Spring Valley Middle because Principal O’Neal loves this equation:
I looked around to see whose cell was in danger. A cute, dark-haired guy was frantically pushing buttons to silence his phone.
As soon as I saw him, it was like my own personal alarm sounded (silently, in my brain). Remember when I asked the universe to lead me to the one? And then a CAR ALARM went off? Maybe THIS was the sign I’ve been looking for!
That cell phone alarm might be the universe’s way to lead me to HIM.
There are some things in life that you want to know. Maybe you’re curious about how something works, or where your friend got her super-cool purse.
Then there are other things you really should know. Like the material for tomorrow’s test. Like your own address and phone number.
Then there are other things that you urgently need to know. Things your life could depend on. Like how to dial 911, and to never talk to strangers. Especially if the strangers are in a car and you’re on foot and they ask you to come up to the window to look at a puppy.
There are some things that you desperately want to know and it feels like your life depends on knowing them, but it doesn’t. These things seem even more important than the things you actually need to know. They are the burning questions that have you dialing your best friend over and over, even if you’re 100 percent sure she’s been grounded and doesn’t even have her phone. The things that make you hurt, almost physically, until you find out the answers. Wanting to know sits like a heavy weight on your chest, taking your breath away right when you need it to do something like run down a crowded hallway just to have a chance to meet HIM.
HE was the cute soccer boy, the one I hadn’t seen since Chip ruined my chance to find out more about him! And I desperately wanted to know where he was going. It would be the first step in finding out more about him! I wasn’t going to lose sight of him this time.
I was about to sprint forward when Dylan Hudson stepped right in front of me and I totally lost sight of HIM. Sometimes I hate being short! I was forced to use my height, or lack of it, to my advantage. I ducked and darted. I scooted around my classmates and dipped under elbows. I jumped up and looked over the crowd to see if HE was still there.
Darn! Didn’t see him. I jumped again. Yes! Bouncing black curls were turning down D hall. Okay, I could deal with that.
A few seconds later I reached the intersection of the main hallway and D hall. Nothing. So I started strolling down the long hallway, casually looking into the narrow door windows. I saw all kinds of people I did not want to see — like James’s new girlfriend, Kaitlin — but not even a peek of who I did want to see.
>
The hall was starting to clear out, which meant the bell would ring any second. Shoot! It was a lonnnnnnng walk from where I was, at the end of D hall, to Mrs. Ries’s class on B hall. Even if I ran, I’d be tardy. But since
So naturally, I didn’t run, even when the bell started ringing. By my calculations, I still had at least four and a half minutes to get to class.
I glanced into Mrs. Hill’s room. There was Pri! She must be in advanced English. She looked up, caught my eye, and started waving madly. Sometimes that girl is so clueless. I waved back quickly and hurried away before Mrs. Hill could come see what was distracting one of her students. Mrs. Hill isn’t too fond of distractions.
Hooray! I spotted the curly black hair through the window of the very next door I passed. He was seated in the front row of advanced art. A good sign! Sixth graders aren’t allowed to take that class, since you have to take introductory art first. I pulled the chart out of my pocket and updated it right then and there.
When I was the only one left in the hall, I headed back toward Mrs. Ries’s room. I know I’ll be tardy, but it was worth it! And who cares if I’m tardy?
List of people who cared if I was tardy:
Mrs. Ries, who reminded me that it was my third tardy in a row, so I had to show up for after-school detention or be marked absent.
My discussion group, because they weren’t allowed to start without me, and since we had to start late, we didn’t complete our discussion form, so we all lost five points.
My mom, who nearly exploded when she got the phone call, because “People who are late for work get fired, and being tardy to class is no way to build a good work ethic!”
My neighbor Mrs. Winston, because Mom had to call her from work and ask her to make a special trip back to school to pick me up thirty minutes after dismissal time.
Me. Because everyone in my discussion group is mad at me.
Kara thought it’d be a good idea to visit the mall for inspiration for Cupcakes 4 Catastrophes. Her older sister, Julie, agreed to take us. On the way there, I told them about yesterday’s sighting. I must have described him perfectly, because Kara said, “Oh yeah, I’ve seen that guy.”
“You’ve seen him?” I said. “Where?”
“In the hall, like you,” said Kara.
“Who IS he?” I asked. “He’s so cute. Don’t you love his dimples?”
“Dimples?” said Pri. “That must be Andres.”
“You KNOW him?” I asked.
Pri nodded. “He rides my bus.”
“Lucky,” I said. “You get to see him every day. I’ve only seen him, like, three times in the hallway. Never at lunch or anything.”
“I think he was in the cafeteria once or twice last week,” said Kara. “But I don’t remember seeing him at lunch before that.”
“You didn’t,” said Pri. “Andres told me they keep readjusting his schedule. It just got changed, so now he has lunch when we do. I saw him in the cafeteria last week, too.”
“Why didn’t you guys tell me he was in the cafeteria?” I asked.
Pri and Kara looked at each other and smiled. Grrr.
“How were we supposed to know you liked Andres?” asked Kara.
“I don’t like him,” I said quickly. “I just think he’s cute, that’s all. Do you know what grade he’s in?”
Pri shook her head. “Want me to ask him for you?”
I definitely DID NOT! No telling what Pri would say to him.
Julie’s car pulled into the parking lot about then, so we went to the mall looking for ideas to improve cupcake sales. We didn’t know what we were looking for, but we hoped we’d recognize it when we found it.
Luckily, it didn’t take us long to recognize it! Because …
Get it? Just in case you don’t, I’ll walk you through the process of how we came up with the BEST MARKETING PLAN EVER. Here’s a clue: toothpicks.
Step 1: Go to a mall food court.
Step 2: Observe the lines at each restaurant.
Step 3: See the long line at the Bamboo Dragon Express.
Step 4: Observe the guy with chicken bits on a toothpick.
Step 5: Take a toothpick sample.
Step 6: Join crowd in line at Bamboo Dragon Express.
Our conversation as we dined on sesame chicken:
Kara: Are you guys thinking what I’m thinking?
Me: Absolutely.
Pri: What are you guys thinking?
Kara: Why we didn’t we think of it before?
Me: I know, right?
Pri (looking at the guy handing out chicken samples): Oh! You think if we start giving out free samples —
Kara: We’re bound to sell more cupcakes! Not that many kids even tasted ours. Maybelline stole most of our business after only two days.
Me: Once everyone has a chance to taste ours, I predict they’ll buy from us instead of Maybelline!
At this point we did a three-way high five … which I guess equals something like a high fifteen.
Me: Operation Get Our Business Back starts Monday!
Pri: Maybe not Monday. (Whips out her phone and starts texting.)
Kara: Why not Monday?
Pri (looks at phone, which just beeped): First of all, let’s let Maybelline think we quit. Then we can take her by surprise … and … well, I have a secret weapon … something that’ll make a real statement. (Her phone beeped again.) But I can’t get it until Tuesday. So can we start Operation Get Our Business Back on Wednesday? Please?
Me: What’s the secret weapon?
Pri: It’ll be better to show you than to tell you. Wednesday morning, okay?
Kara and I looked at each other and nodded. So far, Pri’s ideas had been solid. We were going to have to trust her.
* * *
My prediction: Maybelline isn’t going to know what hit her.
Not having cupcakes to sell today freed me up at lunch to try to find out more about Andres. I pulled out my chart, erased Soccer Boy, and replaced it with Andres.
I noticed he brought his own lunch, and that he sat with a group of other guys who brought lunch from home. I was hoping to find a way to meet him, but I chickened out. Toward the end of lunch, however, I made it a point to walk by him and smile. He smiled back!
BUT
(Why does there always have to be a big ol’ but right in the middle of things, messing them up?)
I might have completely ruined my chances with him after school. It’s kinda Pri’s fault. See, she was standing in the bus line next to him and she saw me walking toward the carpool line. She said something to Andres and then started gesturing wildly toward me. I’m assuming she was trying to introduce me to him, which shows how clueless Pri can be.
Doesn’t she understand that I CANNOT meet Andres in the bus line? NOBODY meets their boyfriend in the bus line! If I meet Andres there, the probability of him being my boyfriend is, like, zero percent!
I couldn’t let that happen. No. I needed to meet Andres in the cafeteria, where most people meet their girlfriends and boyfriends! I gave Pri a little wave, trying to make it look like I thought she was just saying hello, and kept walking.
Pri didn’t take the hint. She called my name and started making these big sweeping motions with her arms. Andres was kind of looking at me curiously. I guess he didn’t know Pri well enough yet to understand that you needed to give her a three-foot arm clearance, because right then Pri had a slo-mo mo.
She thwacked Andres right in the nose! Ooof! I hoped he was okay! It was obviously the wrong time to meet him then. When Pri turned around to help him, I went on to look for my ride, crossing my fingers that Andres’s nose didn’t end up looking like Frankie Ziegler’s.
How to prepare for battle:
Thaw frozen cupcakes and cut into quarters.
Spear quarters with toothpicks.
Bake two dozen cupcakes.
Create a battle plan.
My prediction: Maybelline will be waving the tablecloth of surrender before
the lunch bell rings.
After Kara and Pri left, I made my own little battle plan….
Once I finished with this battle plan, I had to admit something to myself: I have a major crush on Andres!
I should’ve been able to predict what Pri’s secret weapon was way before she met us in front of the school with a plastic bag full of something soft and fabric-y and obviously T-shirts. T-shirts with some kind of cupcake slogans printed on them, I was sure.
“We’re really going to intimidate them with these!” she said, reaching into the bag.
Inwardly, I groaned. How was I going to explain to Pri that NO ONE has EVER been intimidated by a T-shirt with a cupcake on it?
As it turned out, I didn’t have to, because the next second she was right in front of my face, waving the COOLEST T-shirt I’d ever seen.
All I could do was hug her.
“Awesome,” said Kara, holding up the black tee with a cupcake-and-crossbones logo. “We’ll present a united front in these, for sure.”
Pri beamed. “So glad you like them! I texted Ma to order them from Johnny Cupcakes on Saturday, but she texted back that they wouldn’t arrive until Tuesday. Hope you didn’t mind waiting.”
“It was worth it,” I said, as we crowded in front of the mirror. We no longer looked like fund-raising girls. We were officially a force. My brain imagined us like this:
Now, sitting here waiting for fourth period to start, I can say that the T-shirts are definitely getting attention and we’re using it to our advantage, telling everyone they’ll “find out soon” what it’s all about.
I’m excited and scared. I’m happy and nervous. I feel like I’m gonna barf sprinkles!
Mission accomplished! Details later….