“Aye, Cap’n. I will.”
After Murtagh took his leave, Tristan maneuvered to the edge of the bed, wincing with the movement. He waited until his bandaged thigh stopped throbbing and eased himself into a standing position, using the cane the physician had given him. After hobbling to the window, he gazed outside, noticing the beautiful spring day with the flowers and trees in full bloom. ‘Twas a shame to waste it. If he couldn’t return to sea yet, perhaps it was time to take care of some unfinished business on land.
CHAPTER SEVEN
Recollections
Gwyn paced the gardens, absentmindedly plucking the petals from a buttercup blossom until the grass was peppered with yellow. Had taking care of Tristan herself been a mistake? She hadn’t expected to see him, or have such strong feelings.
Her heart felt all jumbled up in knots. Only days ago, the thought of accepting Lord Carney’s proposal of marriage brought her such joy. He was exactly the kind of husband she needed to support her as regent. Yet, she hadn’t gone a day without thinking of Tristan since he’d left Beatha all those years ago.
She desperately needed advice, but Airell and her mother were busy organizing the relief effort for Áthas. Isla was busy too, spending time with Slade. It left Gwyneth alone with her anxious thoughts.
“Good afternoon, Milady,” a man’s voice greeted.
Gwyn turned with a pounding heart, seeing a familiar pair of green eyes staring back at her. “You should be resting, Milord.”
Tristan produced a weak grin and leaned on his cane for support, face pale. “I fear I’m not a very good patient. Being cooped up in the castle is torturous. I only desired a few minutes of fresh air, but perhaps I journeyed a bit too far.”
When he wavered on his feet, she approached and took hold of his free arm, leading him to a stone bench close by. “Here, take a moment to rest. Then I’ll help you back to the castle.”
He took in a few deep breaths and the color returned to his face. “Thank you, Lady Gwyneth. Your kindness is one thing I remember clearly.”
She gazed into his eyes, catching a glimpse of the young ruler she’d met long ago. “Are more memories returning to you?”
“Aye. Each day I recall a little more. I remember spending summers in Kiely with my cousins and taking a short voyage on my father’s ship when I was younger. He taught me to sail.” A smile curved on his lips but it soon faded and his eyes dropped to the stone path. “I also remember the day Malcolm attacked. He murdered my father first, right in front of me. Then his archers killed yours.”
“I heard you were with my father when he died. I’m glad he wasn’t alone.”
He looked back up at her, tears clouding his eyes. “I’m sorry. I did not intend for our conversation to take such a dark turn.”
Gwyn wiped tears of her own and placed her hand over his. “‘Tis good to talk about your memories. It hurts now, but keeping them inside will poison your heart, Tristan.”
“You’re right, Milady and I’d like to express my gratitude. Not only for your advice, but for your discretion around my crew.”
“You’re welcome, Milord. ‘Tis your place to reveal your identity to them if you so choose, not mine.”
He nodded. “I’ll have to soon, I suppose, before they discover the truth for themselves. My ship is gone and it doesn’t appear it will be replaced any time soon. It seems my life is journeying down another path, whether I wish it to or not.”
“What will you do?”
Tristan sighed, gazing off into the distance. “I’m not sure. Perhaps when it is time for Isla to return to Kiely, I’ll be recovered enough to join her. My cousin, Leland, helped me gain some clarity when we met last year. Maybe he will be able to help me again. ‘Tis a step in the right direction at least.”
Gwyn smiled, although her heart broke, realizing he would soon be leaving her again. “Good. If anyone can help you find the guidance you seek, it would be your family.”
After a while, she helped Tristan back to the castle and they paused outside the door to his chambers. “Thank you for listening, Lady Gwyneth. I do not believe our meeting today was a coincidence. You’ve brought me some peace.”
“Perhaps God gave me the words you needed to hear, Milord.”
Tristan looked away from her, the mention of God seeming to bring him distress. “No matter what it was, I am thankful. Now, if you’ll excuse me, Milady, I need to rest. Could we talk again tomorrow?”
A smile curved on Gwyn’s lips as she nodded. “I would like that very much.”
For a fortnight, Tristan grew used to spending time on land. Beatha was a beautiful kingdom and the slower-paced atmosphere brought him comfort. He also enjoyed spending time with Lady Gwyneth. Her presence soothed him and his nightmares became less frequent. They went for short walks around the courtyard, talking like old friends and recalling memories as they returned to him.
His forehead no longer had to be bandaged and his leg had healed enough for him to walk without a cane. Only a scar and a slight limp showed evidence of his healing injuries. When he felt up to it, Gwyn invited him to dine with the royal family.
It felt strange walking down the passages of the castle toward the great hall again. The last time he had been there, he was a much different man—so young and impulsive—always plotting revenge against King Malcolm in the back of his mind. That mindset only led him to corruption and ruin. Tristan wasn’t sure where his life was headed now, but he knew his days of revenge were over.
Gwyneth waited for him outside the large double doors, looking radiant in a lavender gown and her raven hair weaved into a cage braid trailing down to her waist. She smiled as he approached. “I’m so pleased you could join us tonight, Milord.”
He offered his preferred arm as the servants opened the doors. “Thank you for the invitation.”
They walked in, seeing Queen Airell with her twin sons, Isla and the queen mother already seated at the table. After greeting them they took a seat across from each other.
Queen Norah looked up with a smile. “I’m so glad to see you are feeling better, King Tristan.”
“Aye, because of the wonderful care I have received here, Your Majesty. Thank you for the kindness you and your family have shown toward me.”
She nodded. “‘Twas the least we could do after you helped Airell escape from King Malcolm’s army years ago.”
“I didn’t do much. Airell escaped before we even arrived, but it was an honor to be of service.” Tristan looked down at his plate, regret washing over him. Lady Nora had no idea of what had transpired—that his motives had been all wrong.
When he glanced back up, Airell gave him a knowing look, as if reading his troubled thoughts. “You do not give yourself enough credit, Milord. We’d never have made it to safety in Dóchas without your aid.”
“Aye,” Norah added. “All of Ardena celebrated your valiant sacrifice—ridding the land of the evil usurper, King Malcolm. We also mourned, believing you had perished in the sea. Imagine how delighted the people will be after discovering you survived. I believe a celebration is in order.”
Tristan raised his hand, overwhelmed. “Thank you for the thought, Your Highness. Forgive me, but I’m still trying to adjust to all this. I would like to conceal my true identity from the people for the time being.”
“I understand. Perhaps that is best.”
The women moved on to other subjects after that, much to his relief. However, Tristan struggled to calm his raging thoughts. They all held him in such high regard. How would they react upon discovering the truth about him?
Tristan retired from the dinner early, saying he needed rest, but Gwyneth suspected otherwise. She waited a few minutes and then retired herself, walking through the courtyard to the bench they’d met at for the past few weeks. As she expected, there he sat.
Gwyn took a seat next to him and gazed at the moon starting to rise in the distance. “Is something troubling you?”
Tristan released a deep sig
h and continued looking straight ahead. “Everyone believes I’m a heroic and noble man—that I rescued your sister and defeated king Malcolm for the good of all Ardena. They are mistaken.”
“I don’t understand. We all know you did those things.”
He shook his head. “Perhaps, but not for the right reasons. Everything I did was motivated by my selfish desire for revenge.”
Gwyn sat in silence for a few moments, allowing his words to soak in. The sound of despair and torment in his voice twisted her heart. She reached for his hand. “Tristan, even if that’s true, there is God’s forgiveness. None of us would hold any ill will against you, either.”
Tears glistened in his eyes as he turned to look at her. “You can’t speak for everyone…especially your sister. The night of the attack on Brannagh, I betrayed her husband. I knocked Tiernay unconscious with an oar and pushed the boat toward the harbor. The blow could’ve killed him, but I didn’t care. I was so set on my revenge against Malcolm for killing my father.”
She released a shaky breath, wiping tears of her own. “I’m not excusing what you did. It was wrong, but don’t allow the mistakes of the past to ruin your future. Apologize to those you have wronged and move on. I still believe God has a great purpose for your life, King Tristan.”
The moonlight highlighted his green eyes as he gazed at her, the distress easing from his face. “You’ve said that before, haven’t you?”
“Aye, when we first met and I still mean every word.”
“Your ability to see the good through all the turmoil amazes me, Lady Gwyneth.” He gave her a trembling smile before shifting his gaze to the night sky again. “The night when I fought Malcolm, the ship hit the rocks and I fell overboard. When I sunk underneath the waves, it seemed like the end.”
“It must have been terrifying.”
“Aye, but your voice brought me back. It inspired me to stay alive and find that purpose you spoke of. If only my memory hadn’t been lost.”
“And now that you remember, does it change anything?”
Tristan shook his head, still keeping a firm grip on her hands. “My path seems so unclear. I know I should return to Kiely. However, I do not feel worthy or equipped to reclaim my throne in Órlaith—not yet at least.”
“Seek God’s will. He will lead you.”
“Like he led me back to you?”
Gwyn nodded, her heart beating so rapidly she felt dizzy. She’d waited what felt like ages for Tristan to return and open his heart to her. Now everything was so confusing she didn’t know how to react.
He released one of her hands and brushed her cheek with his fingers. “In all my life, I’ve never met anyone as beautiful and pure as you, Lady Gwyneth. If things had gone differently, I would have desired to court you.”
She drew in a shaky breath, the warmth of his touch lingering on her cheek. “And now?”
Tristan leaned closer, lifting her chin so he could gaze into her eyes. “And now…everything has changed, yet my feelings toward you have never wavered.”
Gwyn closed her eyes as Tristan’s lips pressed against hers. His kiss was so gentle and passionate, every doubt in her mind melted away.
CHAPTER EIGHT
One Step
Gwyn retired to her chambers for the night, still feeling the tingle of Tristan’s kiss on her lips. Since his disappearance, she’d always wondered what it would be like to share her first kiss with him. It was more wonderful than anything she could have imagined.
She’d just relaxed into a chair by the hearth when her mother came in. “Sorry, I know the hour is late. I just wanted to speak with you.”
Gwyn looked up and smiled at her mother. “You don’t have to apologize. You’re always welcome, no matter the time.”
She took the seat across from her. “I couldn’t help noticing you and Tristan have been spending more time together recently.”
Gwyn looked down at her lap, trying to suppress a grin. “Aye, we have. Now that his memory has returned, there has been much to talk about from the past.”
“And I suspect, some about the future as well?”
She looked up into her mother’s knowing eyes. “There is no hiding things from you, is there, Mother?”
She let out a faint chuckle. “You’re my daughter. I’ve always been able to read your emotions pretty well. I know you’ve been waiting for Tristan. ‘Tis why I haven’t pushed you to find a suitor until now. You love him.”
“Aye, you’re right. I do love him, but I have more to consider these days.”
Her mother reached for her hand. “And what is that?”
She shrugged. “A month ago, I couldn’t wait to be regent. Now, Tristan has come back into my life. He is uncertain if he will reclaim his throne. If we were to be wed, will this not cause the same complication as Airell being far away? I’ll not be able to serve as the Regent of Daireann and the Queen of Órlaith at the same time.”
“If it comes to that, Airell will choose another regent. It will either be your Uncle Edmund or myself.”
Gwyn shook her head. “I couldn’t do that. It would feel as though I had abandoned my family and the kingdom.”
“No, you mustn’t think that way. Remember, Gwyneth, I desire for your happiness more than anything else. Besides, after years of ruling by your father’s side, I know more than my share of how to lead a kingdom. We will be fine.”
“Thank you, Mother. You and Father have always put your children’s happiness above your own. I have much to consider, including Lord Carney. Before Tristan arrived, I had nearly decided I would accept his proposal of marriage.”
Gwyn’s mother squeezed her hand a little tighter. “Pray for God’s leading. Try not to think of the kingdom right now, but search your own heart. Determine who is the right match for you and choose when the time is right. Decisions like this cannot be made in haste.”
She nodded, drawing comfort from her mother’s words. “Aye, you are right. At least I have several weeks before Lord Carney returns. This choice is going to be difficult enough as it is.”
“Someone’s head is up in the clouds this morning,” Airell commented as they strolled through the village.
Gwyn blushed and smelled a bundle of flowers she had just purchased from a woman at the marketplace. “Aye, ‘tis true, I suppose. Forgive me.”
Her sister chuckled. “There is nothing to forgive. I’m glad you have found happiness.”
Gwyn tried to conceal a grin. “Aye, my heart is filled with such joy and I wake up with a song in my heart. Is this what love feels like?”
Airell shrugged. “I suppose. Tiernay still makes my heart flutter, I must admit.”
The sisters shared a chuckle and wrapped their arms around each other’s waist as they journeyed toward the edge of the village. The clear, warm spring morning had provided the perfect opportunity to spend time with her sister. She’d already delayed her return to Brannagh once, but soon she would have to return. For that reason, Gwyn tried to make every moment spent with her sister count.
When they approached Beatha Valley, Gwyn heard the sound of clomping hooves before seeing the cerulean banner from Blathnaid Isles. Her breath caught in her chest as the color drained from her face. “Oh dear. This is unexpected.”
Airell’s arm tightened around her waist. “What is the matter?”
Gwyn drew in a trembling breath, her previous joy fading. She had been so distracted in the weeks since Tristan’s return and the unexpected kiss they had shared. She’d nearly forgotten there was an important decision to be made. “‘Tis Lord Carney. He has returned early.”
“Who will you choose?”
Gwyn swallowed a lump in her throat. “My feelings for both of them are strong, but I must follow my heart.”
Airell pulled her into a tight hug and sighed. “I will pray for you, my dear sister. What you must do will not be easy, but take heart and remember your future awaits. One filled with such joy and purpose.”
Gwyn nodded while rel
easing her sister, knowing she was right. The difficult conversation awaiting her symbolized one step into the future and it was one she had to face alone.
When she reached the courtyard, Lord Carney noticed her straight away. Within moments, he was before her, the look of love in his brown eyes causing her heart to gallop. “Milady, forgive my unexpected arrival. I have not ceased thinking of you since my departure. I couldn’t wait another sennight to see you again.” He reached for her hand and planted a kiss on top of it. “I do hope I am not intruding.”
She shook her head. “No, you never could intrude, Milord. You are one of the most noble men I know…so kind and thoughtful. Your return brings gladness to my heart.”
“Mine as well. You have grown even more beautiful in my absence.”
Gwyn bit her lip and gazed into his deep brown eyes, noticing the hints of green near his pupils. He was such a good man and she would be blessed to have him as her husband. Her eyes clouded over at the thought.
“I pray those are tears of joy, Milady. I would never wish to cause you sorrow.” He reached for his handkerchief and wiped her moist cheek. “Come let us take a stroll through the gardens where we can have some privacy.”
She nodded, managing a smile before taking his preferred arm. “I would like that. There is much to say.”
CHAPTER NINE
Choices
“So glad to see ye are recoverin’ well, Cap’n.”
Tristan smiled and clapped his first mate on the shoulder. “Thank you, Murtagh. Not only are my wounds healing, but my faith has been renewed. I truly feel like a new man.”
“I’m glad to be hearin’ that, Cap’n.”
“Any luck procuring a vessel?”
Lady Gwyneth's Hope (Ladies of Ardena Book 4) Page 4