* * *
I prepare to sneak out of Javier’s as light pushes aside the darkness of the night. I pack a change of clothes in an old backpack. There’s not much else I need.
I pass Ma’s room on my way out. Scarlett must have crashed by the TV because the other bed is empty and her snores drift from the living room. It’s easy not to disturb Ma from her deep sleep. I pause at her bedside.
‘Sorry,’ I whisper, and kiss her cheek. I breathe in her Ma-smell of roses and lavender. It might be a while before I smell it again. ‘This is for the best.’
My chest is tight but I don’t look back.
I leave a note for Scarlett with instructions to give Callie the guitar. For my sister, I leave all the money I have saved up for emergencies. I promise to send more as soon as I’ve got some work. I know Javier will look after them.
I don’t mention Dad. For the first time, I’m not worried about him coming around.
Then I’m outside in the chilly dawn air. My steps are the only sound in the silence and I’m confident I’ll be gone before anyone notices. But there’s a tug in my gut as I round the back of the surgery. I stop. Maybe I should check on Lion one more time, and make sure Javier has everything he needs for the day. Usually I stop by before school and put in some time to help with prep.
I force my feet to move forward. Javier will get used to working without me.
It’s for the best.
The mantra loops in my brain. It helps keep me from thinking about the family I’m leaving, the guilt I’m admitting and the girl I might never see again.
Leaving Callie hurts way more than it should. Being with her quiets the beast inside me and it’s hard to give that up.
I reach the bus station without incident. After buying a ticket, I take my seat behind the driver and settle in. I keep my head down in case someone recognises me, and I don’t look back when we pull out of town. The road is busy despite the early hour, the winding length packed with people heading back to the city for a week of work or study.
The scenery flashes past my window, the trees lit golden by the rising sun, but all I see is Callie’s face. What will she think when she finds out I’m gone?
I get out at the main rest stop to stretch my legs and use the bathroom. Another hour and I’ll be in the city and I can start my new life. I’m heading back down the side of the petrol station to the bus when a large figure blocks my path.
‘Jonny.’
His arms are folded across his chest. ‘I thought that was you skulking to the bus stop. Fleeing like the rat you are. I had to follow and see if I was right.’
‘You drove eighty kilometres behind a bus to check on me?’ I raise my eyebrows. ‘How sweet.’
He grabs a fistful of my T-shirt and shoves me back against the wall. ‘Didn’t say I cared, dickwad. I came after you because I have a score to settle.’
‘You? I’m the one whose house you trashed.’
‘And then you tattled.’ He’s close enough that his breath is rank in my face. ‘The police turned up at my mother’s house. Do you know what that’s like? They wanted to ask me a few questions.’
I fight laughter and shove him off me. ‘The big nasty police wanted to talk to you. How awful.’
‘My parents freaked. They kept me home to talk. And talk. I’m on freaking probation for staying at uni now. Because of you.’
‘I would have dropped you in it in a heartbeat if I thought they’d believe me, but someone else must have seen you because I didn’t give you their name.’
‘Someone did.’
‘Here’s a solution: don’t destroy other people’s property on some misguided revenge spree. Particularly when Callie had already told you I wasn’t the one who hurt your slimeball mate.’
He smirks. ‘Running away?’
‘None of your business.’ I try not to think about everything he’s done. My house, Callie’s dog, the fact that he’s even touched her smooth skin.
He pulls a phone from the pocket of his preppy jacket and waves it at me. ‘You’ve been naughty. Maybe I could get back in Sergeant Peters’ good books with such information.’
I keep my fists at my sides and shrug. ‘Call him then. I’d love to give him my thoughts on who visited my house on Saturday night.’
I don’t know what he sees on my face but it’s clearly not the fear he hoped to incite. He puts the phone away. ‘Nah. Better to just get scum like you out of my town.’
Before I know it I’ve taken a step towards him. His eyes flash fear. It makes the smile I offer him real. ‘Scum like me? You’re not so brave without your gang of mates and the cover of darkness, are you?’
‘I’ll take you on.’
But his eyes are darting for an escape, and the sound of footsteps as the bus driver comes out of the bathroom leaves him looking thoroughly relieved.
I uncurl my fingers. ‘You’re not worth the effort.’
‘You might as well skip town. Callie would have tired of you soon enough.’
He’s wrong. That I’m sure of. She wouldn’t tire of me. We are … were more than that. I’m not saying if all this crap disappeared we’d stay together forever—life’s too uncertain for such thoughts—but I know she felt deeper than someone this shallow could imagine.
‘Why do you even care?’ I ask. ‘You were screwing around on her anyway.’
‘She moves on when I say so. I’m the king of that town.’
‘As opposed to the nobody of everywhere else? How’s uni working out for you?’
His fists clench but then he shakes his head. ‘It doesn’t matter what you say. You’re just like your father. You’ll end up in jail soon enough.’
I manage to bite back a retort.
It’s not like his accusation is something I haven’t already thought about myself. It’s the reason I don’t trust myself with anyone special, why I don’t really think I deserve the future Callie and Javier were trying to offer me. An education. Love.
None of which I’ll have if I run.
I’m bailing just like Dad did my whole life. He was just like Jonny, a big fish in a small pond, the bully picking on easy targets. Targets like Ma and Scarlett. Me.
And if I don’t face up to this, I’ll be doing the same. He never stuck around when life got hard. Sick kids? Bills to pay? Something would set him off and he’d put himself in a situation where he could let his temper take him away. Fighting at the bar with his fists instead of fighting for his family. The one fight that takes guts and hope. He never kept control.
I picture walking back into the school. Callie telling the truth—or not. Dealing with the fallout either way.
Going back.
It’s a fuckload harder than running.
I look at Jonny. He’s no-one. But I can be someone. I grin. ‘Actually, I’m not at all like my dad. Thanks for reminding me.’
I turn my back on him without fear and take a lungful of gas-filled air. I’m going back to Valley Beach.
I’m choosing to fight.
CHAPTER
21
Callie
The next morning I linger in bed, playing with the idea of saying I’m sick and skipping school. Every time I think about what’s to come I feel ill. Rhett gave me his blessing to keep what I saw to myself. If I avoid the whole thing, no-one will be mad at me. And it wouldn’t be the same as lying.
But I can’t let him take the blame.
Once in my uniform of tartan blue skirt and light blue polo, I stall for time, doing my hair three times. What’s the perfect style for a day like this?
In the end I settle on an easy side plait that I know I’ll redo five times as it loosens throughout the day. I apply a little light foundation, slide on my glasses, and I’m ready.
Downstairs, only Mum is in the kitchen. She’s wearing a robe and cleaning gloves, and the contents of the pantry are piled on the bench. It’s seven-thirty in the morning.
I try to back out of the room but she’s seen me. ‘Callie,
wait.’
Like I have a choice.
‘Whatever it is you think you saw at the dance … keep it to yourself.’ Her voice breaks. ‘Please.’
I stare at her for a long moment. ‘I can’t.’
Mum’s shoulders crumple. I’ve confirmed what she must have already suspected. ‘Having a crush on some guy shouldn’t come before your family. This isn’t just about you.’
‘It’s not really about me at all. It’s about a group of boys cornering a girl and one of them punching the other. Sean blamed Rhett for something that he did.’
‘You make it sound so awful.’
‘Because it is.’ I ache for her. Her lip quivers, her hands shake and she’s falling apart before my eyes. I hate it. I do. But it doesn’t change anything. ‘I’m sorry if this hurts you but I can’t keep any more secrets.’
Her eyes beg me. ‘If you turn in your brother, it will be the biggest mistake of your life.’
‘You’ve said enough.’ We both turn at the command. It’s Dad. He’s only got eyes for Mum. ‘Honey, you’ve said enough.’ He moves to her and she leans against him. ‘It will be okay,’ he murmurs into her hair.
I don’t know where to look.
I shift my weight to escape their intimacy and the evidence that I’ve broken my own mum. Dad lifts his head, and his gaze pins me to the spot. I can’t tell if he’s mad until he speaks. ‘I don’t like secrets either.’
Mum buries her face in his chest and he holds her close. I can almost see him giving her strength. I exhale. He helps Mum back to their bedroom and returns a minute later. ‘It’s going to be hard on her,’ he says quietly. And with those words I know she’s told him everything. Sean, Rhett, everything.
I hate that this latest episode is partly my fault. ‘Me telling the truth won’t help Mum.’
Dad doesn’t duck the issue. ‘I know. Or your brother. But not telling … I don’t think it’s something you can live with, is it?’
I shake my head. ‘No.’
His smile holds sadness. ‘That’s my girl. You don’t have to do this alone.’
My knees just about buckle at his words. ‘What?’
‘I’ll come with you to the school and to see Mr Anderson. After that you’ll also need to talk to the police. This is serious.’ Pride shines in his eyes. ‘But I know you can handle it. I tried to talk to Sean about coming forward and I hoped he’d go to the police, but when I confronted him he insisted he was innocent. I checked his room. He’s gone.’
‘Gone?’ He knows I’m going to tell. I can’t imagine what must be going through his head.
‘Sean will have to face this, but for now I need you to know that you’re doing the right thing.’
I blink back tears. This is the hero I’ve looked up to my whole life. I was trying to shield my family when maybe I should have gone to Dad for support. ‘I thought you’d want me to protect Sean—’
‘No.’
‘But Mum, football, the scholarship …’
‘We’ll get through this,’ he says firmly. This is the Dad I know, the one I can count on.
Still, I can’t shake the memory of the pain in Mum’s eyes. ‘I don’t want to be the one who pushes her over the edge.’
Dad doesn’t give me any false comfort. ‘We know what we’re dealing with here. The facility she was at before has an opening for her. Her doctor believes that’s the best place for her to be while we deal with the ramifications of Sean’s mistake.’
I focus on those last two words. Sean’s mistake.
This isn’t something I’m doing to my family alone. Dad might be the only one who understands that, but I know I’m lucky to have even one person who gets it. I told myself I didn’t need anybody’s approval, but knowing that he’s on my side just about unravels me.
‘Thank you,’ I manage.
He frowns. Those lines across his forehead deepen further. ‘What for?’
‘Everything.’
I run up the stairs feeling better about my decision than ever. Passing Sean’s room, I try not to think about him out on the streets, waiting for the fallout of what I’m about to do.
I can’t help scanning for him as we drive through the early morning traffic to school. The car park is packed for a Monday morning, but I don’t pay much attention. I’m thinking about what’s to come.
And maybe a little about the boy whose innocence I’m about to prove. Getting to know Rhett Barker has changed everything.
We park and Dad moves to come with me but I hold up my hand. ‘I’ll talk to Mr Anderson alone, but if you could wait to take me to the station?’
‘Are you sure?’
‘I should have stepped forward Friday night but I was too scared. For Sean, and for what it would do to my reputation. I need to face this.’
He nods. ‘I’ll be here.’
I stride up the stairs to the main office building. Despite the cars, there aren’t many people around. I check the time. The bell will go soon. I hurry across the grassed area between the buildings. Talking with Dad delayed me more than I thought.
Sean steps out, blocking my path. He’s rumpled and wearing the same clothes as last night. His eyes are wild, begging. ‘Please don’t tell.’
‘Dad’s been looking for you. We were worried.’
He pushes at his hair. ‘If you were worried about me at all, you wouldn’t be heading to Ando’s office.’
I go to push past him. ‘I have to do the right thing.’
His hand is heavy on my shoulder. ‘That’s just it. You don’t have to at all. Remember the times when we were kids and I had your back? Don’t do this to me now. Please.’ His eyes close in a long blink and then beseech me. ‘I’m begging you.’
‘You won’t be able to live with this. Eventually—’
‘Don’t try to pretend that you’re doing this for my sake.’
My heart thuds painfully. ‘But I am.’
I make myself walk on, and this time he doesn’t try to stop me.
My steps are slow as I climb the last stairs and push open the big glass doors before heading inside. Sean’s agony eats away at the confidence I felt just a minute ago. He’s going to hate me forever.
I’m only a few steps inside, and still a corridor away from Mr Anderson’s office, when the doors open again behind me. ‘Callie, wait.’
I turn, blinking at the figure silhouetted against the bright sunshine outside. ‘Scarlett?’
She moves closer and my eyes adjust. She’s missing half her usual make-up, as though she came to school in too much of a hurry to put it on. ‘He’s gone.’
‘What?’
‘Rhett. He left before dawn.’
‘He can’t have …’ I thought last night meant something to him. I thought I meant something to him.
‘He did,’ she says with a sneer. ‘And it’s your fault.’
I want to argue, but I can’t get past the pain cramping my heart. ‘How could he have left without telling me? How could he have changed his mind?’
‘He said it was best for everyone.’
I hear Scarlett talking but in my head I’m in Rhett’s arms again, reliving every touch, every kiss. It was real. It had to be. But if he’s gone, maybe it wasn’t. I crumple inside at the thought. He should have believed in me.
He should have believed in us.
‘But I’m going to tell the truth about what happened. I’ll explain everything and he’ll be free. I told him that last night.’ But even as I speak, I remember how worried he was about the effect that would have on me.
‘Whatever you said wasn’t good enough. Running away … God, he’s ruined his whole life, all to protect you and your mental family.’ Her voice catches. ‘I told him you weren’t worth it.’
‘I never asked—’
‘Do you know he had a recording of your crazy mum admitting she knew the truth?’
I’m struggling to follow. Out of the corner of my eye I see students and their parents walking past the glass do
ors towards the other side of the school. What’s going on out there?
But I’m only distracted for a moment. I return my attention to Scarlett’s disappointed gaze. ‘I don’t understand.’
‘No. You don’t. When your mum came by to abuse my brother yesterday afternoon she admitted that he wasn’t the one who hit Hayden.’ Her voice hitches. ‘I recorded it. He could have played the conversation for the world but instead he wiped it.’
‘Why?’
She shakes her head. ‘For you.’
‘I never asked him to sacrifice everything.’
‘Really?’ Her eyes see too much. ‘Maybe not with words, but you knew how to play on his sympathies with your sob stories—and your body.’
‘No. You’re wrong. It’s not like that at all. What we had was special.’
She laughs. ‘I’ve heard that line myself. My brother came to my rescue and now he’s on the run. It’s not fair. Hayden, Timmy and Sean are the ones who should be in trouble.’
‘I never wanted Rhett to save me.’
‘Whatever. You should be celebrating. Now you’re off the hook.’
My fingertips press under my glasses and against my stinging eyes. What Rhett doesn’t understand, what nobody wants to accept, is that I don’t need to be saved. Not from him and not by him.
She sighs. ‘He left you his guitar.’
‘What?’ I turn to ask her to explain, but she’s already striding away. A moment later the doors close behind her.
I don’t seem to be able to move.
Rhett’s gone and he left me his guitar. It’s so like him, to give me the one thing he actually owns, because he thinks it will make me happy.
But what he should have done was stay.
The door to Mr Anderson’s office opens with a clatter. The principal strides out and smiles when he sees me. ‘Callie, excellent. Glad you’re here for the assembly, but the message sent to the school community requested that everyone gather at the hall.’
‘The message?’
He frowns, hustling me past empty offices. ‘Yes, both email and text alerted families that it had been moved to this morning. Come on, quick. It’s starting.’
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