Mackenzie faced the mirror, raised his left hand, closed his eyes, and muttered under his breath. The reflection dulled and the thick wooden frame deflated into a wispy sheet that resembled aluminum foil. Mackenzie peeled it from the wall, gave it a whack, and, like a tape measure, it rolled neatly into a walking stick. He twirled the stick over his knuckles with a flourish before he handed it over to Oliver.
“Thanks, Mac. I need to return this.” Oliver grinned and made his way toward the door. “You’ll take care of the rest?” Miranda was out the door first. Jay followed and said, “Skurf later, Mac?”
“Naturally,” said Mackenzie, pleasantly grinning.
Helpless, Anni lay flat on the floor as Mackenzie approached. He placed his hand on her shoulder. A moment of serenity and total peace washed over her. She wanted that moment to last for an eternity, but her eyes grew heavy.
“No worries,” said Mackenzie. “I’m a Water Elemental; I’m sure you’ll feel better soon.”
The door opened one more time, and four new people walked in. They peered over to get a better look at Anni. Several of the newcomers were speaking all at once, but Anni heard Mackenzie say, “Ms. OggleBoggle, this is Anni Moon.”
A spirited little woman, definitely the oldest of the four, was dressed in shades of tangerine. Some of her stray pink and gray strands of hair barely made it into the bun atop her head. “We have much to discuss, my dear,” the old woman said to Anni. “I’ve been waiting to meet you.”
“Yugi San, Anni. Anni, Yugi San,” said Mackenzie to a short man with more hair in his Van Dyke-styled beard than on his head. Yugi kneeled down on the floor beside Anni. He didn’t speak, but his brows furrowed over squared spectacles as he took her hand and checked her pulse.
A preppy-looking girl dressed in shades of lavender, with a curtain of long black hair, inched forward. She had a serious face but blushed when Mackenzie said, “This is Daphne and―”
“And I’m Squirt,” said a very excited boy who bobbed into view, unable to wait for an introduction.
Mackenzie leaned in. “The worst part is over, but you’ll need to rest.”
Anni reached for Mackenzie’s arm. “Lexi. I need to find Lexi.”
Against her will, her eyes closed and she fell fast asleep.
SQUIRT
POUND. THUD. POUND. THUD.
Anni moaned. An aching unlike anything she’d ever known throbbed inside her skull. Her eyes were still closed, but she sensed a bright light all around.
A breezy current drifted under her nose: heady smells of spices, sugary flowers, woods, metal, and earth. Beneath her body, her fingertips touched a cold marble slab.
“Oh, good! This is so exciting! You’re finally awake.”
“Oo, my head,” said Anni. Her blood vessels were beating like drums, and it sounded like someone was shouting at her down a long tunnel. The deafening sounds made her eyes water as she slowly cracked one eye open.
The fuzzy outline of a boy’s head hovered over her, his dark hair swirled upward like a Kewpie doll. He had plump cheeks, bright tawny eyes, and full lips that parted into a great smile, but then he started talking very fast.
“Ssshhhhh. Too loud.” Anni raised her hand to her forehead and a white crystalline powder fell from her arm. “What’s this crystal stuff on my skin? It looks like salt.”
“Sorry.” The boy giggled. His sunny eyes and smile invaded his face, making him look younger than the other boys—Mackenzie, Oliver, and Jay. Also, he was a lot shorter, or maybe it was the massive round room that dwarfed him. “Oh that? It’s for the Funk. I made it. I call it Scrubus DeFunkertas. It’s mostly a Sel de Mer, with essences of Verbascum, Taraxacum, Equisetum, and some other stuff. Trust me. You needed it. You smelled. Bad. But that’s normal for humans. You know, ‘cause Funk is smelly. And since you couldn’t bathe, I put it on your arms and legs. The good news is it worked. It’s a complicated blend. I’ve got the recipe somewhere if you want it.” He shoved a small jar into her hand. “You’ll need to apply it every day until—”
“Wait…I’ve seen you…before,” said Anni.
“Yep, that’s me! I’m Squirt.” He spoke very fast. “My real name is Sharif Qamar Uma Isra Tau Mukerjee, but it’s way too long to remember. Anyway, everyone calls me Squirt. Wow, I’ve never met a human before. I mean, face to face. I’ve seen humans tons of times, but never met one up close.” He beamed at her. “Welcome to Moon Zephyr. Yugi told me to watch you. This is Yugi’s house. How old are you? I’m thirteen.”
“Yugi? Is that Zelda’s brother?”
“Zelda? Who’s that? No, Yugi’s Yugi. You saw him before you passed out. You’re in the Wood Realm, on a floating island, just over London. The Elofficium don’t know you’re here. You’ve been asleep for twelve hours. I’ve been making and remaking a tonic every hour. Just in case you woke up. Made eleven so far. It’s for your Funk.” He leaned in and sniffed. “I won’t lie; it’s bad. But don’t worry. You’re nice and hidden. The Elofficium won’t find you here. Not yet, anyway. The Zephyr’s a mad house. Elementals are freaking out because of the Funk. They don’t like Funk or humans, but I’m different. I like you, even though you’re the first human I’ve met! Oh, should I close the curtains?”
Anni could barely follow what Squirt said as he raced across the room, pulling a thin rice paper shade across several curved windows. She winced as she raised herself up onto her elbows. Her entire body throbbed. “The Elofficium?” she asked, barely above a whisper.
Squirt dashed to a cluttered worktable and retrieved a thermos. He poured a silvery molten liquid into a teapot and hammered a hardened, puce tinted fruit. Shells flew higgledy-piggledy across the room. His hands moved fast as he added the seeds of the fruit to the teapot, which he poured into another container, and finally, holding the steaming mug in his hand, rushed over to her. “Here. Drink this. It’s your tonic.”
Anni raised the cup to her nose. It looked like molten puke-colored acid and smelled worse than a thousand rotten eggs. She reared her head back, gagging from the odor. “Eggs…It smells like…I can’t drink that.”
Squirt’s face fell. “But you have to. Your Funk―”
“She doesn’t understand what Funk is,” said Brat, perched on a bookshelf above.
“Brat!” said Anni once she spotted him. “Why were you curled up in a ball? I needed you.” She tried to get up. Unsteady, she clutched the table. “Oh, I don’t feel well―”
“Course not! You’re mopple-toppined,” said Brat. “You didn’t DeFunkify. You brought Funk with you from the human realm. Take Squirt’s tonic if you want to feel better. Funk won’t go away by itself, you’ve got gobs on you. It’ll only get worse, and you don’t have time to be messing about. You should have eaten that candy bar Egbert gave you.”
“Hey, how did you know about that candy bar? I thought you were asleep.” The contents of the mug wafted up into Anni’s nostrils. She coughed looking at the swirls of green and silver. “Eggs. Seriously, I’m not being rude, but I can’t drink this.”
“Pinch your nose,” said Squirt. “Your Funk makes it smell worse than it is. Please. You have to. I promised Yugi I’d make you better.”
“What’s Funk?” Her eyes were watering, as pressure surged in her temple while a high-pitched ringing sound started up in her left ear. A second later, it felt like someone was hammering a chisel into her forehead.
“Nasty business, Funk!” Brat frowned. “It floats around in the ether, like a shadow of negativity that sticks to energy fields of living things. It’s like gum in your hair unless you learn how to get rid of it. Elementals fight the Funk every day.”
Anni frowned at him. “I don’t have an energy field.”
“Yes you do. All living things have energy fields. It surrounds your physical body. Even thoughts, or ideas, can grow a life force. Humans call it an aura.” Anni scowled. Brat shook his finger. “The world is not made up of everything you can or cannot see, Anni Moon. Make no mistake. Moppins, no
w where was I? Oh, Funk, imagine the tiniest thought or idea drifting about in the air. If it is a negative, hateful, fearful or worrying thought, it’s looking to find another one just like it. Evil thoughts are the strongest; they work like magnets, clustering together with other thoughts until they turn into Funk; it breeds, compounds, and spreads across realms, where it infects all manner of things. Humans are oblivious to Funk, which is convenient since they create most of it. How your lot can be so blind is anyone’s guess!” Brat threw up his arms and shook his head. “Funk dulls your mind, coats your energy field, like a bubble of grime; it is absolutely disgusting. Elementals have to mind the Funk. It can kill us if we don’t. We call it the slow death.”
“Gross! I look like a bubble of grime? Can anything stop it?”
“Younger humans have stronger energy fields. Adult humans always look grimy to us,” said Brat. “Human cities are infested with Funk. And now it’s stuck to you.”
“Great,” said Anni, who pinched her nose and gulped Squirt’s tonic down.
“Oh! I almost forgot!” Squirt darted across the room to one of the tallest and dustiest bookshelves. When he found what he needed, he raced back and handed Anni a small book titled Mind Your Funk and Get Funktastic! Human Edition.
“This book will help. Brat’s right—Funk is serious. We fight the Funk every day here on the Zephyr. That’s why we take tonics, elixirs, tinctures, potions, and a healthy number of baths.” Looking thrilled, Squirt rolled onto the balls of his feet and said, “So? How’d it taste? Give me every detail. You’re my first Funkified human.”
“Uh,” said Anni, staring back at him, speechless. It was hard to describe, but instantly she felt the pain begin to siphon away like water being sucked from a straw. She didn’t know where it was going, but she felt a sensation trickle from the crown of her head, over her face, down her neck and shoulders, torso, legs, and strangely, out the tips of her toes. It took a moment to take stock of how she felt because other than a low-grade headache, she felt a million times better than she had two seconds ago. Lighter than she ever felt before.
“Strange,” Anni said. “It was like water washing away dirt.” Squirt frowned.
“Like I said, mopple-toppined.” Brat shrugged. “Her taste buds are kerfuffled.”
A flood of questions surged like new, clean blood pumping through her veins, and she blurted out, “Who’s Yugi, and where am I?”
“You don’t listen, do you?” Brat folded his arms. “You’re in the Wood Realm.”
“Is that on a map? It’s not like I even know what Elementals are!”
“She doesn’t know?” Squirt’s face fell as he turned from Anni to Brat. “That is so not cool, mate. You need to tell her.”
“For Elementals’ sake, my job description does not include human acclimation.” Brat harrumphed. “Oh, very well then.” Brat turned to Anni. “Elementals are a race of beings whose souls are connected to the elements: Earth, Water, Wood, Fire, and Metal. We are the oldest living things on this planet, and other E-systems, planets, but never mind that. Some look like humans, and some don’t. Some look like animals, or insects, or what humans call aliens, but it’s very important to note: Elementals are not born like humans—we aren’t born with bellybuttons. Our gestation is a creation of the mind. We are born through the process of intention.” Anni frowned. “Moppins! Try wishing then, but that’s not the right word. Elemental parents mentally and emotionally create life by will, until an Elemental is born. Okay, moving on. We don’t travel as humans do. Some Elkins live in human cities, but the rest live in dimensions that are half a degree lighter than the human realm—where we can see you even if you can’t see us, just like where we are now. There, that should suffice.”
Brat cleared his throat. “It must be why Egbert sent you here. You’re on a Zephyr; a floating island, to be precise. We are about seven rings over the United Kingdom, which, by the way, is impossible to travel to without an E-pass! Moppins, if I knew we’d be traveling here by Queen’s Mirror, I wouldn’t have stowed away in your pocket, because now we can’t leave!”
“What?” Anni felt the blood drain from her face. “Above England? Oh, no! How? Eggs! Egbert! He tricked me! And so did you! You’ve met Lexi before, haven’t you?”
“Yes,” said Brat. “So what? That’s not a crime. I’ve delivered messages to Teddy, too, but those are confidential, so don’t even ask. Never mind. We’re both stuck here unless you can find a legal way off the Zephyr. Moppins, there’s no use complaining. What’s done is done. You need to get a move on! They’re expecting you at Moon Manor as we speak.”
“No. Wait. Brat, I did you a favor. You have to help me get out of here. Please.”
“If I could, I’m not sure I would. You don’t listen very well and you don’t follow directions. Moppins, you’re not the only one in this kerfuffle. I’m stuck here, too!”
“What do you mean? Eggs! Isn’t this your home?”
“Tee hee hee. You’re funny,” said Squirt, giggling.
Anni stopped to look at Squirt. “Er, thanks.” She turned back to Brat. “What about Lexi? Is she here? Did they arrive yet?”
Squirt stopped giggling. Brat looked down and said, “Lexi’s not here.”
“Are you sure? Like, one hundred percent positive? Because she could—”
“I searched the Zephyr while you slept. She’s not here, at least not yet.” Brat wrung his tiny hands. “Moppins…Elofficials will want to speak with me about that. The Fleet has me on record as the last Elemental who delivered her a message—”
“You didn’t. Teddy did. He sent her a package—” The words flew out before she realized it. “Eggs! I didn’t say that! You didn’t hear that.”
“Tee hee hee. Ha ha ha ha!”
They both looked at Squirt and said, “What?” in unison.
“You’re a human and you said eggs,” said Squirt, fit to burst.
“So?” said Anni. “I heard someone say that once, and it stuck.”
“About that.” Brat frowned. “Elementals, not all, use the word egg in combination with other choice words, when they refer to humans. It’s considered a vile description in certain circles. Funk makes humans smell like rotten eggs to Elementals—that and adult humans’ energy fields, which are disconnected and aren’t used properly, have withered into egg like bubbles constantly knocking them in the head. Humans don’t even notice.”
“Right,” said Anni. “So you’re sure Lexi’s not here? It could take hours to fly to England, especially if they left after I did…wait a second. How did I get from the plane to a floating island? It didn’t land. I walked into the bathroom and…”
“Oh, let me tell,” said Squirt, beaming. “It’s an awesome story! All Elemental travel uses some form of wood, and you traveled here by Queen’s Mirror, which is way beyond cool. Amazing, really. See, it’s a mirror with a special wooden frame that you can walk through and then, boom, you’re wherever you’re meant to be. The best part is that no one knows where you’re traveling to or from but you. The Elofficium have no idea. Queen’s Mirrors are rare; Elementals can go their whole lives without ever seeing one, but I did!”
“If I got here that way, how do we know Lexi didn’t, too?”
“It all comes down to Funk.” Brat shook his finger. “If she did, her Funk would’ve hit the Zephyr. Only I’m not sure the Zephyr could take another hit like the one that followed you. Another blast like that might dislodge it from the sky. It’s exactly why the Zephyr’s crawling with Elofficials; they are looking for the source of the Funk, which means you. If you don’t get to Moon Manor and surrender yourself before the Elofficials find you, they will throw you in the Egghouse. And me next!”
“So you’re sure Lexi’s not here, then?”
“Moppins, unless she’s an Elemental. Then we wouldn’t know.”
“Yeah. Right. I think I’d know if my best friend in the entire world wasn’t human, thanks, and I’m pretty sure she has a belly-button.” But, fo
r the first time, Anni wasn’t so sure and started to wonder if Lexi knew about this world. After all, Teddy and Mabel did. “Brat, we have to go back and find her. How can we get one of those mirror thingies?”
“Has the Funk damaged your brain?” Brat huffed. “And your hearing? That was a one-way trip. For El’snozzing sakes, traveling through a Queen’s Mirror means there is no record of our travel! Egbert didn’t get you an E-pass to travel here the normal way, which means you and I are here on this Zephyr illegally! And if the Elofficium or the Fleet find out, my First Order Elservice Messengers of Messages Badge will be stripped for life, and for the cherry on top, I’d be tossed into the Bughouse all because of you!” Brat shook his head.
“He’s right,” said Squirt. “Queen’s Mirrors are definitely not Elofficium approved. Don’t worry, though. Only a few of us know how you got here, and we won’t say a word. The bad news is that the Elofficials are after someone, but no one, and I mean no one, travels to a Zephyr that way, so they won’t even suspect that’s how you arrived.”
“Wait. Were they the ones who were after me and Lexi at school?”
“Someone was after you in the human realm?” asked Squirt.
“Yes. At my school. Two people were talking about kidnapping Lexi and me. They had our names and our school pictures. Why is this happening?”
“Hmm, well, I can’t pretend that I don’t hear things in my line of work, but there were rumors circulating around about the Murdrock takeover,” said Brat, looking severe. “Don’t hold me to this, but I have reason to believe Teddy knew something was afoot. The only logical reason why someone would want to get to Lexi, or you I suppose, is if they thought you two had information about Teddy, and if that’s true, then that’s very bad.”
Anni Moon & The Elemental Artifact: An Elemental Fantasy Adventure Series: Book For Kids Ages 9-12 (Anni Moon Series) Page 9