She wasn’t sure she cared for that comment. It sounded unfeminine. She was quite sure that Nathan Thorne’s women were all ultrafeminine—the slinky, sensual types drenched in perfume, wearing painted faces and erotic, frilly black underwear.
The thought of him with other women hurt, and she looked down at her hands. Her nails were torn and she had grazes on the backs of both hands. She could just imagine what her face looked like. Not to mention her hair.
“Valeri...”
He’d spoken so softly that she wondered if she’d imagined it. She looked up to find his gaze on her mouth. Her heart skipped. She had to stop feeling this way about him. She had to remember what he was, and what he could never be. Men like Nathan Thorne were free spirits, beholden to no one.
“You’re one hell of a woman, Valeri Richmond.”
For some silly reason she felt like crying. “Thanks. You’re not so bad yourself.”
He grinned. “I consider that a real compliment after all the other things you’ve said about me.”
She looked at him steadily. “That was before I got to know the real you.”
His smile faded. “I was kind of hoping that you’d get to know me even better by the time this was over.”
She couldn’t seem to help herself. That little-boy hurt look was just too endearing to ignore. Deep down, she knew that he was an expert at arousing a woman’s sympathy. She knew full well that every time she gave him the slightest margin, she was playing with fire. There was not the smallest doubt in her mind that he would take whatever she had to offer, and walk away without even looking back.
She knew that even if she let things get that far, she wouldn’t be able to give him what he wanted. Not emotionally, anyway. And something told her that Nat would not be satisfied with anything less than the real thing. He’d know if she faked it. Just as Dan had known.
In any case, she wouldn’t want him that way. If she couldn’t be honest with him, then she’d rather not go through with it.
Even so, the part of her that needed him—the part that longed to be able to enjoy making love with him—propelled her to her feet.
“I wish things could have been different, too,” she said softly.
His eyes burned, and the excitement winged through her veins. This time she could forget her fears. There was no time to make love. Only to hold him for a little while, and to feel his mouth hard on hers. This time she was safe.
She went to him and laid her hands on his chest. She could see the confusion in his face, and felt bad that she had put it there. She could be making things worse for both of them in the long run, but this might be her last chance of ever being this close to him again.
She wanted his kiss to remember, to hold in her heart in the lonely nights ahead. For as much as she tried to deny it, she knew Nathan Thorne would leave an emptiness that would never be filled.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I just want you to know that it’s nothing personal.”
“I’m glad to hear it. Does this mean that you’ve decided to trust me?”
She smiled. “Isn’t it a little late to ask that?”
His eyes raked her face, full of expectations she would never be able to fulfill. He didn’t have to know that now. All he had to do was kiss her. Just one more time. One last time.
“Valeri,” he muttered thickly, “don’t look at me like that. Not unless you want me to—”
“I want you to,” she said quickly.
His breath hissed out through his teeth. His hand gripped her upper arms as he pulled her roughly into him. The world spun around her, as it always did when he touched her.
There was nothing gentle about his kiss. It was all fire and heat and an urgency that made the blood race to her head. His arousal was swift, hot and hard against her belly, and she felt the familiar panic stirring deep inside her.
She fought it, concentrating on the sweet, rough pressure of his mouth on hers. When his fingers brushed her breast she made herself relax, and felt the first tingling heat of desire.
She tried desperately to hang on to it, reminding herself that she loved this man. She loved this man. Even as the startling thought embedded itself in her mind, the rattle of the bathroom door handle shattered the moment.
Nat let her go and moved over to the window, where he pretended to look out. She sank into the couch, knowing that he would need a minute or two to get things back under control.
She had trouble meeting her father’s eyes when he walked out of the bathroom, looking altogether different in his change of clothes. “I feel halfway human, now that I’ve got rid of my caveman beard,” he said, his knowing look full on Valeri’s face.
She wondered how much he’d heard, or guessed. “Actually I think the caveman look suits you,” she said lightly, hoping he wouldn’t read too much into the tension that still crackled in the room. “Though I have to admit, you look better in a clean shirt.”
“I bought it for when you turned up.” Alex glanced at Nat, whose back was still turned toward him. “I wanted to be presentable at least.”
“I’m honored. How’s the shoulder?”
“Feels better now that I’ve soaked it in hot water.” He walked over to the bed and sank onto the edge of it. “Now I feel more like talking.”
“I was hoping you’d say that.” Nat looked composed again as he walked over to the couch and sat down next to Valeri. “I have to admit, I’m itching to know what all this is really about.”
Alex gave him a long, searching look. “I’m a little curious as to how you became involved in all this, Mr. Thorne.”
“We’ll talk about that later,” Valeri put in hurriedly. “Why don’t you go first, Alex. What are these disks you say were stolen? How does Sabhad figure in all this?”
Alex’s gaze switched to Valeri’s face. “How do we know we can trust him?”
“I guess you’ll just have to take my word for it,” Valeri said levelly.
“Believe me,” Nat said, “I’m on your side. I have a personal stake in this, too.”
Alex wasn’t going to be satisfied until he knew more, Valeri realized. “Sabhad tried to have me kidnapped,” she said. “I would have been a prisoner in his house right now if Nat hadn’t rescued me.”
Alex looked grim. “I had a feeling that might happen. I waited all night for you, then when you weren’t there by the morning I was afraid Sabhad had waylaid you. I called your apartment several times, then finally I called Sabhad himself.”
Valeri gasped. “You did? When?”
“Right before I left the gas station. He told me he had you at the house, and that you would be returned home safely just as soon as I gave him back the disks. When he wouldn’t bring you to the phone to talk to me, I guessed it was all a bluff. At least I hoped it was. I decided to lie low for a few days. I figured if you didn’t turn up by the end of the week, I’d give myself up to the police. I thought they might have prevented you from coming for me.”
He buried his face in his hands for a moment. “To be honest, I didn’t know what to think. I was worried sick....” His voice faltered.
Valeri leapt up and rushed to his side. “Oh, Alex, I’m so sorry. I got in a car wreck and lost my memory for a couple of days, then Sabhad’s men chased us and we wrecked Nat’s car and had to cross the mountain on foot....”
She trailed off when Alex stared at her in horror. “No wonder you’ve got bruises. Are you all right?”
She gave him a reassuring smile. “I am now.”
Alex glanced at Nat. “I guess I owe you a deep debt of gratitude for rescuing my daughter. How did you happen to come along?”
“Alex,” Valeri said gently. “Nat was the man Sabhad hired to kidnap me.”
Alex’s jaw dropped. “But how—? I don’t understand.”
“I’ll explain it all later in more detail. I can promise you though that Nat can be trusted. He hates Sabhad just as much as we do. I’d trust him with my life.” She got up and went back to
the couch. “Now tell us about the disks.”
Alex hesitated for a moment longer, then sighed. “All right. I guess if you trust him, I’ll have to trust your judgment. I have developed a revolutionary new process that could eventually replace oil as our major source of fuel. I first met Sabhad several weeks ago, when news of the project leaked out.”
“It was deliberately leaked?” Nat asked, leaning forward.
Valeri could see the intense interest on his face, and felt cold. This is what this man lived for—international intrigue, the thrill of danger, the excitement of the chase. He would always live on the edge, and once he was gone she would never know if he was alive or dead.
This was all she would have of him now—the brief wonderful memories of their shared adventure. Soon he would be out of her life, leaving her more alone than she’d ever felt before.
The aftermath of her divorce was nothing compared to what she felt now. It had been more a matter of her pride being hurt when Dan had left. After a while, she’d even admitted to herself that it was a relief to be rid of him.
The thought of losing Nat was something else. No matter what she did in the future, she would live in the shadow of what might have been. If only things had been different
Chapter 11
“As far as we can tell,” Alex said, sliding up the bed to prop himself on the pillows, ”the leak was an accident. Not that it was all that secret, but the media got hold of it a little sooner than we wanted. Anyway, as head of the project, I received a call from Sabhad’s secretary in Riyadh. He informed me that Sabhad was on his way to the States and would like a personal conference with me. I told him that we weren’t interested in making any deal with Saudi Arabia, but he wouldn’t take no for an answer. Finally I agreed.”
“So you met Sabhad before all this,” Valeri said, painfully conscious—in spite of her interest in what her father was saying—of Nat sitting close to her.
“Yes. He invited me to dinner at the mansion. I felt quite honored to be invited there. That’s quite a place.”
“I know,” Nat muttered. “I’ve seen it.”
Alex sent him a shrewd glance. “As I expected, he offered me a very lucrative sum if I would sell him the fuel project. He suggested that it might be in the world’s interest if his country developed the technique, since Saudi Arabia was a major supplier of the world’s fuel.”
“That was pretty arrogant, even for someone like Sabhad,” Nat said, apparently fascinated by Alex’s story.
“That’s what I thought at the time.” Alex leaned his head back and closed his eyes briefly. “Obviously they wouldn’t want the project developed. I barely kept from laughing at him. Since he was willing to serve me a very nice dinner, however, I kept a still tongue and patiently explained that I could not do something that amounted to treason. I am, after all, a government employee.”
“I bet he didn’t like that,” Valeri said, remembering the harsh voice she’d heard over the speakers at the mansion.
Alex shook his head. “On the contrary, he was very understanding about it. He accepted my decision, he said, and asked my forgiveness for his audacity. He said he was ordered to make the offer by his government, and he would take my answer back to them. We had a pleasant chat, and he was very cordial when I left.”
“And you figured that was the end of it,” Nat prompted when Alex paused.
“As a matter of fact, I did.” Alex yawned. “Excuse me, I haven’t slept well lately. Anyway, I didn’t think too much about it until the night I was getting things ready to go to Washington. I was checking over the project one more time when I noticed that one of the specs was way off. I started to correct it, and the damn thing blew up on me. Virus. Wiped out everything on my hard drive within seconds.”
“The whole project?” Valeri exclaimed. “How did that happen?”
“That’s what I wanted to know.” Alex’s face looked forbidding. “I wasn’t unduly worried right then, because I knew I had backup disks in the safe. I ran them, and that’s when I knew we were in trouble. The entire program had been altered—completely sabotaged. Any layman could tell from those specs that the project wouldn’t get off the ground. It would take months of work to reprogram even if I could remember all the steps, which is doubtful.”
“Oh, Alex,” Valeri murmured. “You must have been devastated.”
“What about hard copy?” Nat asked. “You must have notes, tables, graphs...stuff like that?”
Alex nodded. “Half of them are missing. Destroyed, I’d guess.
Valeri felt sick. “Sabhad?”
“He was behind it.” Alex shifted higher up the bed. “I figured he’d talked to my assistants and one of them had sold us out. The safe has a time lock on it. Short of blowing it up, you can’t open it without the combination. Only three people had that combination—myself, Barrett and Simpson.”
“And now Paul Simpson is dead.” Valeri leaned back against the couch. “How awful for his family. He had two kids, didn’t he? Why did Sabhad kill him? Why do the police think you did it?”
“I’m coming to that.” Alex looked around the room. “Is there any beer around, do you think?”
Nat got up immediately. “I’ll go down to the tavern and pick some up. I’ll bring back some sandwiches as well. We can’t risk eating in a restaurant. Not that there’s much to choose from anyway.”
Alex didn’t give him any argument and he left, leaving Valeri to deal with her father’s inevitable questions.
“Tough-looking devil, isn’t he?” Alex commented, the second the door closed behind Nat.
Valeri grinned. “You got that right.”
“All right, young lady, what’s all this about the guy kidnapping you?”
Valeri briefly explained the events of the past few days, leaving out a few unnecessary details. She didn’t think her father would appreciate Nat tying her to the bed, and she didn’t want to talk about the kisses they had shared.
She avoided her father’s eyes when she mentioned that she had spent two nights alone with Nat, and was thankful when Alex failed to comment.
“I don’t understand how Sabhad could have pictures of you,” Alex muttered when she told him that part.
“Nat thinks they might have been morphed on a computer.”
“Of course. That’s why Sabhad was so interested in my family. He asked for pictures, I showed them to him. He must have kept one of them for future use, in case it became necessary. I didn’t think to examine them when I got back. I imagine he investigated all three of our families—” he frowned “—I wonder what he held over Simpson to make him sell out his country.”
“It must have been something drastic.”
“No doubt.” He stared moodily at the floor for a moment, then lifted his head. “Anyway, how did you know where to find me?”
After she explained about the rental agreement, he let out his breath on a long sigh. “That was sheer luck,” he said, shaking his head. “You could have searched this entire town and not found me.”
“Nat suggested that I call the apartment to see if you’d left a message,” Valeri admitted. “If I’d done that in the first place, I might have figured it out sooner. We just didn’t think you’d take the chance to leave a message where someone else could hear it.”
Alex smiled. “You don’t give me much credit for being subtle, is that it?”
Valeri got up and went over to hug him. “I didn’t know what kind of shape you were in. I wasn’t sure you were thinking all that clearly. When did you get shot, anyway?”
“I’ll tell you when your fellow gets back,” Alex said wickedly.
“He’s not my fellow.” Valeri went back to the couch and sat down.
“But you’d like him to be.”
It was a statement rather than a question, and she didn’t bother to deny it. “It would never work out, Alex. Nat isn’t the kind of man who could settle down in one place. He’s not exactly a one-woman man, and I wouldn’t settle for
anything less. You know that.”
Alex narrowed his eyes. “Not all men are like Dan. Don’t make the mistake of cutting yourself off from happiness because of what one man did to you.”
She sent him a gentle smile. “So what’s your excuse?”
“I just haven’t met a woman I want to settle down with. That doesn’t mean I’ve stopped looking.”
“I haven’t noticed you bringing anyone home lately.”
Alex leaned forward. “We’re not talking about me, Val, we’re talking about you. You have your whole life ahead of you. I just want you to be happy.”
She felt tears prick her eyes, and blinked them back. “I know. I am happy. I have my work, and my friends. I have a good life.”
“And you’re lonely.”
“Sometimes. Everyone is at times. Even married women. I know that better than anyone.”
“But you don’t have to be. Find a good man and settle down. Have kids. Make me a grandfather.”
She laughed. “I knew you had an ulterior motive for this lecture. Anyway, I’m going to have a shower before Nat comes back. I can’t wait to get back into my clothes and get the mountain out of my hair.” She picked up the bag of clothes and headed for the bathroom, relieved for the excuse to end the painful conversation.
She was drying her hair with a towel when Nat returned. The bittersweet sight of him striding across the room, his arms full of grocery sacks and his dark hair ruffled by the wind, created an ache she knew would take a long time to ease.
He’d brought soda and beer, sub sandwiches and a tub of potato salad. He laid them out on the bed, and the three of them enjoyed a picnic, avoiding for a while the subject of Sabhad and the disks.
Nat kept Valeri and her father entertained with stories of some of his escapades, making Valeri cringe in horror at the risks he’d taken with his life.
She watched him as he talked, memorizing every expression, every gesture he made, knowing that this was all she’d have after he’d gone. She would remember this day for the rest of her life, she thought as she listened to Nat describing a remote village in the Thai jungle. She would remember sitting next to him on the bed, close enough to touch him, listening to his deep voice without him ever knowing that her heart was breaking.
The Mercenary And The Marriage Vow Page 17