by Katie McCoy
His eyes were focused on me. He stopped strumming his guitar.
“Mia,” he said.
You could have heard a pin drop. Every single head in the lobby turned in my direction as everyone’s attention focused on me. I felt my face grow red, and I wanted to run away. I saw Cassie across the lobby, her expression reflecting the shock and surprise I was feeling.
“What the fuck?” she mouthed.
I didn’t even have time to shrug. A gasp went through the crowd as Austin came towards me. Immediately people parted to let him through, everyone holding their phones in front of their face as they recorded everything that was happening.
I wanted to disappear.
“Mia,” Austin said again when he had reached me.
I didn’t know what to do, so I just stood there as Austin began playing again. He started playing my favorite song, “Sara, Sara,” the sexy acoustic version he’d played at the club in Boston. The night we had kissed in the parking lot. The song made all of those memories come racing back, and I was overwhelmed with emotion.
I wanted to cry and kiss him and also punch him.
He played the song, and when he was done, a soft sigh rippled through the crowd. He had charmed them all.
Except for me.
“What are you doing here?” I demanded, lowering my voice to a hiss.
“I wanted to apologize,” Austin said, his eyes never leaving mine.
“It’s a little late for that,” I snapped, anger rushing through me. He thought he could just show up here and bulldoze me into forgiving him?
“I’m sorry.” Austin’s gaze was sad, but I wasn’t about to be swayed by his puppy dog eyes.
“What are you sorry for?” I demanded. “Dumping me and then ignoring me for weeks, or coming to my work and embarrassing me in front of my boss and co-workers?”
Austin flinched. I could see that he hadn’t thought about that at all, which only made me madder.
“You’ve made a spectacle of me,” I hissed. “And who knows what this will do to my career?”
“I didn’t mean to—” Austin started, but I cut him off, my fury erupting.
“No, of course you didn’t,” I raged. “You never mean to do anything. I’m sure you didn’t mean to break my heart eight years ago and I’m sure you didn’t mean to do it a few weeks ago, but you did. Both times. But it doesn’t matter if you meant to hurt me—in the end you still did.” I took a step back from him, my heart breaking all over again.
“Please leave,” I told him.
There was a collective gasp from the crowd.
Austin hung his head, and without another word turned away and walked out of the lobby.
Immediately there was a buzzing of voices all around me, but I didn’t want to talk to any of them. I shoved their phones out of my face and marched over to Richard, fully prepared to be presented with a pink slip right then and there.
“I’m so sorry about that,” I told him, bracing myself for an epic firing. “I know I never should have gotten involved with a subject. It was terribly unprofessional, but it’s over and it will never happen again. I had no idea that he was coming here.”
But Richard only grinned at me.
“What are you sorry about?” he asked shoving his phone in my face.
Already a bunch of my co-workers had posted their videos on ChatBuzz, showing Austin’s private concert from a variety of angles, as well as my harsh dismissal of him. I watched myself—my face red, my expression furious—tell Austin to leave. And then I saw his face, the way it broke, the sadness and rejection evident as he left the building.
“This is great,” Richard told me. “This is exactly the kind of clickbait material I’ve been looking for.” He clasped me on the shoulder. “You did great,” he said.
I stared at him.
“You think I did this for clicks?” I asked, astonished at his crass reaction.
“I hope so,” Richard laughed.
“You’re disgusting,” I told him, and his smile vanished immediately.
“What?” he asked, his eyes narrowing in my direction.
I felt a hand on my arm, and I knew it was Cassie. I knew she was warning me to stay quiet, to go upstairs, to get away from this circus and calm down, but I shook her off.
“You’re an embarrassment to journalism,” I told Richard. “ChatBuzz has always had the opportunity to do something special, something important. All of us could be writing articles of actual importance, but instead you have us chasing shitty gossip for a living.”
“Don’t act like you’re better than me,” Richard sneered. “At least I don’t drop my panties for the first rock star that comes along.”
“You don’t know a goddamn thing about what happened between me and Austin,” I told him, poking my finger into his chest.
“I know that he probably thinks of you as just another notch in his bedpost.” Richard gave me a cruel look. “Guys like him have a girl like you in every city. And Austin James probably has at least a dozen in New York.”
“Austin James is a better man than you’ll ever be,” I told him. “He’s kind and generous, and he cares about the people around him. He’s talented and driven and never gives up. He values friendship and loyalty, and he doesn’t tolerate assholes.”
Richard snorted. “Sounds like you drank the Kool-Aid,” he sneered, but I’d done more than that.
I’d fallen in love. And I wasn’t about to let that love go without a fight, not this time.
“You know what? I quit,” I told him, and I walked out of the building.
26
Mia
I couldn’t reach Austin. He wasn’t picking up his phone, he wasn’t answering texts, he wasn’t at his apartment, and I even tried calling the recording studio. Nothing. Finally, I remembered that I had Zoey’s number.
“I need to talk to Austin,” I told her when she picked up.
“He’s at the VMAs,” she responded. “Can it wait?”
“No,” I said, knowing that if I didn’t act now, I might lose my nerve. “Can you give me the address?”
I could tell that she was reluctant to, but once I begged, she relented and texted me the address. I grabbed the first cab I could, and we headed towards midtown. The closer we got to Madison Square Garden, the thicker traffic became.
“Can’t we go any faster?” I asked. My knees were shaking with nerves.
“Sorry, the whole block’s cordoned off.”
I bounced impatiently. “You know what? I’ll walk.” I threw some money at him and got out of the car. My work flats weren’t the best for running, but I didn’t care, weaving through the crowds of people gathered around, all of them straining to get a look at the celebrities and musicians that were arriving on the red carpet. By the time I reached the front of the crowd, I was sweating, and certain that I looked like a complete crazy person, with my hair wild and my eyes even wilder.
“I need to see Austin James,” I told one of the security guards, but he ignored me.
I couldn’t really blame him. I probably looked like a crazed fan who would do anything to get to Austin.
Which was absolutely correct.
I strained to see the red carpet, but it was blocked by paparazzi and security. There was no way I was going to be able to get to Austin from here. I had to try something else.
My heart pounding in my chest, I pushed away from the front of the crowd and began circling the block, looking for a way in. There was security everywhere, but I began to notice that some of the guards were a little less attentive than others. When I found one of them taking a smoke break with his phone, I knew I had my in.
I just had to wait until he was completely distracted.
Luckily, someone towards the front of the building decided to start a fight, and requests for backup began crackling out of the guard’s walkie-talkie. I waited for him to turn the corner and then dashed over the barricade and into the building.
It took a moment for me to ge
t my bearings. I was somewhere backstage at the stadium, surrounded by action. There were people everywhere, but none of them gave me a second glance—they were all too busy with equipment to notice I wasn’t supposed to be there.
Keeping my eyes peeled, I made my way towards what I thought was probably the stage. It seemed to be the place everyone was heading, and as I got closer, I heard music, and I knew I was going in the right direction.
Whoever was playing finished and there was a huge roar of applause. I moved closer, scanning the faces around me for anyone who looked familiar. I saw plenty of celebrities, plenty of musicians, but not the one person I had come to see.
“After the band broke up,” a voice from the stage was saying, “a lot of Method of Madness fans were distraught. So it was a great day for them—for all of us—when the announcement came that he was coming out with a solo album.”
There were loud cheers, and I moved closer to the sound—closer to the main stage.
“We all waited patiently for this album—and I think we can all agree that it did not disappoint. Now, it is my great honor to welcome Austin James to the stage.”
The crowd went crazy, and I managed to get to the side of the stage just as Austin walked out from the other side.
“Thank you so much,” he said to the crowd. “It’s great being back, and I’m blessed to have some of the most amazing fans in the world. So I hope you won’t mind me playing something new. Even newer than the album. It’s a song I wrote for someone I care deeply about.”
I watched from the side of the stage as he strummed his guitar. I immediately recognized the song. It was one he had been working on while we were at the cabin. My heart leapt into my throat, and I couldn’t tear my eyes away from him. There was nothing better in the world than watching Austin perform. Watching him do exactly what he had been born to do. I felt an overwhelming sense of pride for him—knowing that with this album he had achieved something special. And this song only proved that he would continue to create incredible music. Because it seemed to flow from him, pure and precious and perfect.
Just like he was to me.
He started singing, and I gripped the side of the stage, afraid I might lose my balance if I didn’t have something to hold onto.
“I kissed you against the bricks,” he sang. “And thought about you every night. You haunted my dreams. Invaded my fantasies. I could never forget you. I never wanted to.”
Tears welled up in my eyes as Austin seemed to be pouring every emotion into the song. I could feel his love, and my own love for him only seemed to expand, filling me up. I never thought it could be this way, but it was. It was perfect.
“You beat me at pinball. You beat me at darts. You beat me at everything—and you took my heart.”
I couldn’t help smiling at the lyrics, remembering our afternoons at the arcade. Teasing each other and playing dirty. The way I wanted to spend the rest of my life. As long as he was at my side.
I wanted to tell him all of this, but even though he was only a few feet away from me, he was too far. I couldn’t reach him.
But then, Austin looked up from his guitar, turning his head towards the side of the stage. Our eyes met. I wanted to run to him—wanted to take him in my arms and kiss him, but this was not the moment. Instead I mouthed.
“I’m sorry.”
He gave me a brief nod, but before he looked away, I mouthed something else. The most important thing. The thing I’d never said to anyone who wasn’t a family member or a beloved friend. The thing I needed Austin to know.
“I love you,” I told him.
Immediately his entire expression changed. A huge grin bloomed on his face—one that I could only mirror. Happiness overwhelmed me as I watched him. He might have been performing for the audience, but he was singing for me. The song was for me. All of it was for me.
“It was always you,” he sang. “Before I knew it, before I believed it. It was always you.”
The crowd was going wild, eating up every word, but we were lost in our own world. Just the two of us together, our eyes locked, unable to look away. The song was beautiful, but it was nothing compared to the man who was singing it.
“You’re my everything,” Austin sang to me. “I don’t want to go on without you.”
He finished the song, and the crowd erupted into cheers. But Austin didn’t even seem to notice, because the minute the last note played, he put his guitar down and ran towards me. Within the blink of an eye I was in his arms, and he was kissing me. It was as if we had never been apart. As if everything bad that had happened now just disappeared. Everything was going to be fine because I was with Austin.
“I love you,” I told him in between his frantic kisses.
He pulled back long enough to grin at me.
“Say it again,” he ordered.
“I love you,” I said, my own smile threatening to split my face in two.
“I love you too,” he told me, holding me tight. “I always have, and I always will.”
27
Mia
Epilogue
3 months later . . .
* * *
I liked the freelance life. A part of me thought I was going to miss going into an office every day—that I would need the structure and someone else’s schedule to get things done—but it turned out I was pretty damn good at motivating myself.
Plus, the office that Austin had set up for me at his cabin was way better than the tiny cubicle I’d been given at ChatBuzz. And my new job writing stories for a reputable magazine didn’t seem to care where I wrote, just as long as I did good work and turned it in on time. I hadn’t had a problem with either since I started. I loved my new job, and did not regret quitting ChatBuzz for one second.
The only thing I struggled with when it came to my work was distraction. Namely a very handsome, very handsy distraction named Austin James. For the most part, when I had an article to write, he was very good about leaving me alone in the spacious office he had set up next to his studio, but after a few hours of both of us working, he tended to get a little antsy. And a whole lot horny.
Not that I minded. Even the most focused of workers needed a break once in a while. And I could always tell when Austin needed a break.
I was working on my latest assignment—a review of an upcoming book of essays—when I heard my office door open. Since there were only two of us in the whole cabin, I knew who it was without turning around, and I played along, pretending that I didn’t notice Austin’s presence.
I heard him pad across the carpet, before his strong, talented hands came to rest on my shoulders. He began to massage the muscles there, and it wasn’t long before I was leaning back into his touch, my head falling back as I lost myself in his ministrations.
“That feels good,” I said with a soft moan.
“You’re very tense,” he told me, leaning forward to kiss me on the cheek. On the jaw. On the throat.
I let out another moan, and arched my neck to give him better access. He obliged, kissing downward, his hands still rubbing my shoulders.
“Did you get your work done?” he asked in between kisses.
“Mmhmm,” I managed, pushing myself and my chair away from the desk.
Austin spun the chair around so I was facing him, and he pulled me to my feet.
“Good,” he said, lifting me into his arms.
I wrapped my legs around his waist, settling against his hard cock. He groaned at the contact and I rolled my hips towards him, making him groan again. I slid my hands down his back and into his jeans pocket where I found a foil packet. I pulled it out and showed it to him.
“To the bedroom?” I asked.
“I can’t wait,” he told me, his hands dipping underneath my shirt.
He turned and sat himself in the chair that I had just vacated, while I straddled his lap. The position had me sliding even closer against him, and it felt amazing. We kissed, slowly at first and then frantically as we each began yanking at ea
ch other’s clothes.
My shirt flew across the room, followed by his. I stood to help him remove my skinny jeans and thong, both of which were tossed aside, joining the growing pile of clothes in the corner. Austin shoved his jeans and briefs down past his knees before ripping the foil packet open and rolling the condom onto his long, hard length.
Then, with his hands on my hips, he guided me back onto his lap. I positioned myself above him and then slowly, slowly lowered myself onto his cock.
“Oh god,” I moaned, as I sank down on him.
“Fuck,” Austin groaned, his hands cupping my ass.
Then he leaned up and took my breast into his mouth. I arched against him as he teased my nipple with his tongue and teeth, the sensations spreading through my body and making me even wetter. I sank lower onto him, making him release a breath through gritted teeth.
Slowly I began to move, my fingers gripping the arm rest of the chair, Austin’s fingers digging into my hips. I liked it. I loved it. I wanted more.
I rode him faster, arching my hips with each thrust. The only sound in the room was the sound of our breath and our bodies. I took him as deep as I could, his mouth on my breast again, alternating between my sensitive nipples. He scraped his teeth gently across the hardened bud and the sensation was so perfect that I exploded.
My orgasm came fast and furious, and I threw my head back, gasping as pleasure overwhelmed me. Austin’s hands held my hips firm as he thrust up into me—once, twice before he found his own release and shuddered beneath me.
* * *
Life was amazing. Every day, I felt like I was walking on air.
“We’re going to have a guest for dinner,” Austin told me when I entered the kitchen that evening after finishing my work.