She wriggled free and turned to leave. Theo grabbed her hand and tugged.
“Don’t go. Stay with me. Joanie….” He caressed her cheek, and she suppressed a gasp at his tenderness. “Did I hurt you?”
“No.” She shifted her gaze, unable to maintain eye contact. “I’m going to clean the kitchen.”
After they’d spent the next hour scrubbing the kitchen clean, they’d showered again, the model-making long forgotten. Then, while she poured them cups of water, she dared to make an offer.
“You can sleep with me.”
He shook his head and turned away.
Unable to read his expression, Joanie’s heart sank. Is he disappointed in me? Did my newbie lovemaking put him off? Is he trying to break the magic? He should, so why did it hurt? She was her own worst enemy. What a hypocrite. She wanted his body but wasn’t willing to give her all to him. Couldn’t he go along with it, too?
Close to midnight, she stood in the guest bedroom doorway, watching him. Theo slept, cuddled under the floral duvet. He looked peaceful, vulnerable, human. Masculine lines contrasting the soft, pastel texture of a feminine duvet brought a wistful smile to her face. She resisted the impulse to kiss him on the cheek, give him a brief hug before she went to bed. Her emotions had sent her places she’d never been before.
Returning to her own room, she climbed under the covers and stared at the empty space next to her. How would it feel to have him there with her? Desire arose again, despite her being sated earlier. Visions of his naked form and his hard cock flittered through her mind—images unfamiliar to her psyche and very stirring. Suppose that’s what happens when you’re twenty-six and have never made love before.
Oh, how careless she’d been to allow herself to reach this point, the very scenario she’d been set on avoiding—her sexual appetite rising to the fore when she had no guarantee of it being satisfied on a regular basis.
Theo would leave soon. As she expected. As she wanted.
Rubbing her clitoris for a few minutes, she brought herself to climax then shivered with a sense of emptiness as she rose over the edge. It doesn’t compare.
How many nights had she satisfied herself and been quite happy with it? This time, however, brought a sick feeling to her stomach. Like eating junk food instead of supper when you were really hungry.
Switching off the bedside light, she lay there for some time, wired and awake. She should be exhausted. Instead her mind tortured her. His withdrawal earlier had hurt. Their encounter had been her awakening. She’d felt truly “woman” for the first time in her life.
Of course, her emotions would be topsy-turvy, and she would have a special tenderness toward the man who’d made love to her for the first time. To be expected. She shouldn’t see it as a sign that she loved him.
Her lids became heavy, so she closed them. Images swirled through her half-asleep state. Theo lifting the bureau for her, Theo sitting on her bed explaining how to write fiction, Theo plunging his hands into a sink full of dirty dishes, and Theo naked in the shower.
With those sweet memories, she drifted off into a deep sleep.
Chapter Ten
Theo slipped into the kitchen before dawn to put on the coffee machine. He didn’t want to face her, even look at her. If he did, he would lose all sense and take her in his arms, make love to her all over again.
His body hummed with sexual energy. He hadn’t intended to have sex—despite wanting to since the first time he’d met her—but she’d pushed all his buttons. Her bossiness, her banter, her need had awakened an urge in him so strong, he feared its power.
No, he was stronger than that—always had been. He’d pushed the boundaries in his career, rising to a management position at thirty. He’d instructed editors and authors twice his age. Being dyslexic at school and suffering hearing problems had kept him from getting into university, yet he’d worked day and night, studying with free correspondence courses and gaining experience critiquing books in online fan-fiction groups. Somehow, his intuitive ability to perceive things that would hinder a story from moving forward and creating an impact had brought him far. As had his ability to work fast and hard without getting tired.
I’ve got the willpower of a bull. I can control my urges, stay away from her. To hell with the magic! I’m not about to give my soul to a woman who won’t want me in the end…as fun as it might be.
As he sat at the table, nursing his coffee, his mind took him to their lovemaking in the shower, their play in the kitchen. Were all women as delightful as her, as sweet tasting, as erotic? It wasn’t like she was the first one, yet she seemed like the only woman he’d slept with. Truly made love to…and he didn’t even love her.
The sound of movement came from down the hallway. Grabbing his mug, he made his way to the dining room to work on his model and plan his day before she came through in her pajamas, barely clad. Maybe I’m being sneaky, rushing to get away from her, but it’s for the best.
After he opened the curtains to let in the first rays of light from the sunrise, he sat down to focus on the model. His eyes blurred. He’d slept well until two in the morning then he’d paced the hallway, tortured by her being a few feet from him yet out of reach. How could his body still want more?
Slumping on the chair, he gulped the coffee, the hot drink beading his forehead with sweat. If he didn’t have her this day, he wouldn’t be able to function at work tomorrow. His mind was going crazy. He stood and went to the window, gazing at the hilly descent toward the town center, the city skyline a shadow against the sun, the lights sprinkling the muted image with life.
He’d been her first, he could tell by the fear he’d glimpsed in her eyes, the gasp when he pressed into her. He’d wanted to stop, but she’d pushed him on. Did she regret it? Did she think him too rough?
He sensed her enter the room.
“Morning,” she murmured behind his good ear.
“You sound cheerful.” He spun around, ready to see her, no matter what her mood or what she felt about him since….
“I couldn’t sleep much.”
There she stood before him, an erotic illusion in a simple blue silk slip with thin straps on delicate shoulders, a low neckline revealing the sharp dip toward the valley between her breasts. No robe, no shoes, and slender legs visible almost to the tops of her thighs. His boxers tightened over his immediate arousal.
“Aren’t you cold?” He pulled her into his arms, pressing his lips to her silken neck, licking the delicate skin there. Shifting, he plunged his tongue into her mouth, his nose touching hers in a simple yet powerful bond. “Why can’t I resist you?”
She was a seductress, someone who had turned from his enemy to…his enemy. He couldn’t take her, couldn’t have her. He didn’t want to fall in love with her.
He pushed her away. “I need to go out.”
Fire entered her eyes. She retreated, dropping his hand in a furious motion. “Me, too. I have groceries to buy. I need warmer pajamas. It’s getting cool at night.”
The familiar Joanie had returned—the one with the wall. That’s what he needed. He’d done right.
“I suppose you need a key. I have a spare somewhere.” She turned away. “I’ll find it.”
The silk swished against her derriere cheeks as she left the room, and he cringed. How stupid. All his plans to have one woman were dumbass.
When she returned with a key, she was fully clothed. She placed the key on the table by his model and left, her face pinched, her stance cold. A few seconds later, the front door slammed.
A fury of sexual frustration rose within that he couldn’t abide. He thumped the table and the model bounced, sending one of the glued pieces to the floor.
He needed to get out and find something to do all day because her scent hung all around him.
***
Joanie sucked in her stomach and lifted her shoulders and chin as she walked into work on Monday morning. She strode down the hallway, moving as fast as she could past Leonora’
s office window. Her heart squeezed at the memory of her friend’s hurtful words. Best to ignore the woman until the whole marriage thing blows over.
At her desk, she set to work on some documents but struggled to concentrate.
One of her colleagues breezed into the room. “Happy Monday morning. Want some cappuccino? I bought a new machine for the office.”
“That would help. Thanks, Tina.” She rolled her eyes at her friend.
“Tough weekend?”
She shrugged, not willing to divulge anything. Unless Leonora has told everyone. Somehow, that wouldn’t match her character. Yet her friend’s criticism and lack of trust had surprised her.
Tina stared at her.
“What?”
“I can’t seem to work it out.”
Joanie let out a breath in relief. She must be talking about something work related.
“You seem glowy. Like you’ve had the best weekend of your life, yet you have a huge frown on your face as though you have to prepare a budget speech or something.”
“Huh?”
“What’s with the glow?”
“What glow?”
Tina grinned. “Are you pregnant?”
“Of course not.” Heat surged to her cheeks.
They’d only made love once and used protection. Theo had ignored her after the kiss on Sunday morning. Not like she’d made any effort to reach him. So, she’d left the house, spending the day at the grocery store and clothing stores. He’d come home late then gone straight to his model jet, coming into the kitchen for drinks and a few snacks. She’d kept her back to him at all times, unable to deal with him pushing her away when she reached out to him. The best anesthetic to her confusion was to cut him out, ignore the fantasies—which were harmless and didn’t have to lead to actions.
If she’d cooked him supper, he may have stayed longer, so she’d warmed leftover curry for supper with two-minute noodles which gave her a headache anyway. The headache didn’t help her fall asleep. In desperation, the night before, she’d climbed out of bed and sat at her bureau for three hours, writing nonstop. The words had poured out and she’d sunk into her chair, satisfied and grateful to Theo for helping her.
Why had he withdrawn? Maybe he was like her—unable to process what was happening between them. Could he be giving her space? Was he disgusted by her? She dare not ask. Once again, she felt naked and exposed, unable to look him in the eye.
“You’ve met someone.” Tina gloated. “I knew it. I knew you couldn’t stay single for much longer.”
Summoning the spunky side of herself, she gazed at her colleague. “Yes, I have. It’s only casual.”
“You don’t do casual.”
“I know, but I needed a diversion.”
Tina stared, openmouthed. “You always told us to wait for the right one to come along, not to play around in the shallows.”
“I-I know.” She gulped. Joanie had plunged right through the shallows to the bottom of the deep end and touched the mosaic on the bottom surface, waiting there until she couldn’t breathe and her lungs burned.
Tina smiled big, making her cheeks round. She was a sweet young woman with frizzy curls tight on her head, light-brown skin, and the roughest accent, yet, deep inside, she had the kindest heart. That’s why she fell for so many guys who never reciprocated her feelings. “Well, tell me how it goes. I’m itching to meet him. What’s his name?”
Somehow saying his name cemented the fact that she was with someone. “Th-The-Theo.”
“Ooh, French sounding. How sexy.”
“I don’t think he’s French.”
“Maybe your froggie will become a prince once you kiss him. French…frog. You know what I mean.” Tina seemed embarrassed at her lame joke.
Joanie nodded, trying not to let the odd truth her friend had spoken sink into her heart.
Too late.
She had kissed him, and he’d become a prince. A prince she needed to kiss again. Kiss, hug, and make love to for five nights solid until she couldn’t move her legs the next day.
Leonora stepped into the office and placed a paper on her desk. “Get right on it,” was all she said then walked out.
“Wait….” Joanie’s words wafted into nothing as her friend barreled down the hallway. She peered at the papers.
Thank goodness Tina had left. The way Joanie had jerked with surprise and the squeak that had come out of her mouth would have alerted her friend something was wrong.
Leonora had prepared divorce papers for her. So, she does want to help. Joanie glanced through them. All she had to do was fill in her details and sign. Then Theo had to do the same.
How come so easy? Isn’t there a process with lawyers first? She marched into Leonora’s office with the papers. “I don’t understand.”
“What don’t you understand? It’s what you wanted, isn’t it?”
“How come it’s so easy?”
“I’m offering my services for free. You still have to fill in all the documents and go to court three times.” Leonora was all bite and bark. Her words came out like a reprimand, and Joanie’s breath hitched.
“I appreciate it. Thank you for taking me seriously.”
“I’m hoping to knock some sense back into you. I can see your aunt’s death has finally gotten to you.” Her face softened. “I don’t blame you, but you should have said something. Hiding things from….” Her tone changed to friend Leonora, not office superior Leonora. “It kind of hurts, you know?”
Joanie swallowed and nodded. Her friend would never believe her, so she had to play along with what she thought had happened. At least they were on talking terms again.
“I’m sorry.” Tears blurred Leonora’s shape before her. They seemed to be her daily portion lately. Theo had turned her life upside down.
Determination soared through her as she walked to her office with the papers. As sexy as he was, she didn’t need him to survive. She’d lost her confidence, her sense of peace, and everything dear in her life, even the respect of her best friend.
Theo had to go, no matter what. Divorce, here we come.
Chapter Eleven
“I don’t want a divorce,” Theo told a pair of strangers, people he’d met an hour ago—people who’d owned the bureau and chest of drawers before Joanie and he. He sat on their reupholstered, antique sofa in their home in Ballito, north of Durban, drinking some strange herbal tea that tasted good. The couple made him feel at ease—the way they looked at him, like they cared and understood.
Darren smiled. “Neither did I.” The man was an accomplished architect, his elaborate home a testimony to that. The large, open-plan living area and Edwardian décor gave the place a feel of early twentieth century mixed with modern class.
“I don’t understand.”
“Yes, we weren’t married like you and Joanie are, but we were ready….” Kirsty spoke for the first time except for when she’d made the tea. She seemed like the more reserved member of the pair. “Well, let’s say I was ready to end the whole thing. If not for the bureau.”
“Have you fallen in love with her?” Darren asked.
Theo reclined into the sofa, his floral teacup balanced in his hand. He’d been warring with that thought since Sunday. As much as he wanted to deny the possibility, he had to be honest with himself.
“I think I have. I want her, put it that way.”
“And she doesn’t feel the same way?” asked Kirsty.
He shook his head. “Unlikely. Yes, there’s attraction between us. The chance it’s moved to anything more is about two percent.”
“Hang in there.” Darren nodded.
“I can only hang on as long as she wants me to.”
“I don’t think you understand the magic,” Kirsty said with a more assertive tone. “The magic is working to bring you together.”
He shook his head, tension building from his gut to his chest. “That’s the problem. I don’t want the magic to make it happen. I want it to happen naturally. Whe
n the magic has fizzled out and we return to everyday life, I want it to be real. Don’t tell me the magic is what has made me feel these things for her.” His hand shook, and he almost dropped the teacup. Gulping the last bitter bit at the bottom, he set it down before something happened to the expensive china. Antiques filled the house. For a young couple, they liked old. Maybe they were weird, on another plane to him. He should leave. He moved forward in his seat.
“Your feelings are real. The magic brought you together because you belong with one another.” Kirsty’s face shone with such certainty he couldn’t help but believe her.
For a second. “How can you be so sure?”
“I wasn’t truly happy until Darren came into my life.”
“Kirsty was anti-romance, anti-love, anti-men. She didn’t know she needed me and I needed her.”
“Need, huh?”
They didn’t seem perturbed at his sarcasm.
“Yeah, we were fine without each other. It’s like saying you’re fine without fresh air and sunshine. Stale office air may keep you satisfied and give you spurts of energy to keep you going for some time, but at some point your body will feel it.”
Theo nodded. He knew how awful it was when he had to keep the windows closed in his office for the air-conditioning to work. Some days, he didn’t bother keeping cool and opened the windows to get some fresh air.
“Breathing inferior air on a continual basis will affect your long-term health,” Darren added.
“Right….” Get on with it. Ditch the analogies and say it straight. As nice as they were, this couple was weird. How ungrateful of him. Or uptight. They’d given him their time and opened up to him, which he could tell hadn’t been easy, especially for Kirsty.
“Being alone the rest of your life, or even being with the wrong woman is like breathing in pollution. You’ll feel it. You might get sick or have to go to the hospital.” Darren studied him.
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