by Ken Spargo
Nootster meandered aimlessly across the landscape, unsure of where he was headed. Out of nowhere, a huge billowing dust cloud headed his way. Dustbag was returning to find a new dirt seam to enlist and enlarge his group of pestering dust particles. If he was to dump properly over those silhouettes and nearby countryside, he needed a powerful new supply of dust.
‘Now where did I remember meeting that unsavoury dirt seam? What was its name again? Mudmuddle something. It’s in this area somewhere.’
Nootster lay flat on the ground and popped up his rotators. Dustbag wasn’t interested in one solitary Noot. He had larger life forms to dirt up.
‘There it is.’
A seam of blackish-coloured dirt exposed on the surface was exactly what Dustbag wanted. The Seam of Mudmuddle beckoned him. This was the joining of two dark characters. The air was thick with thousands of particles exercising their open gappers and creating a blinding dust blanket.
‘Stay here,’ ordered Dustbag. ‘Wait for my return.’
Whoosh, he disappeared into the earth as if searching for its middle. The Mudmuddle seam opened wide and down he went. Negotiations had to take place before the Seam of Mudmuddle would join his destructive journey.
‘We get to ride at the front of the dust cloud.’
‘Agreed.’
‘The first dumping is ours so we land on the ground as the lead dirt particles.’
‘Agreed.’
‘Keep those second-rate dirt particles from opening their open gappers whilst in transit. It’s too dusty travelling with them.’
‘Agreed, anything else?’
‘Allow us to begin another seam as we are absorbed into the ground.’
‘Anything you want. I need your help to dump and cover two massive silhouettes, the like of which I have never seen before. I want your largest, dirtiest and most unpleasant particles to do us both proud.’
Negotiations were over. The seam began to break down into different-sized particles. The Seam of Mudmuddle, for all its bad characteristics, had a plan and purpose for the different particle sizes so that when they were dumped, it was to be in sequence. The heavier particles were to be dropped to form the base and the lighter particles to form the top. The seam prided itself on how close its particles stayed together.
‘Ready?’
Dustbag returned to the surface to find most of his dust particles resting on the ground. They were tired from floating. Arguments had been occurring since Dustbag had gone underground.
‘I’ve got more dust in one particle than you have in your open gapper at any time.’
‘My dust is the finest choking film on any surface.’
‘You call that dirty? Look down my open gapper. It’s the best quality dust.’
‘What’s crumble clod doing with us? You’ll fall apart in flight.’
They had tired because of all the arguments.
‘Do we have to travel again? I was enjoying my rest.’
‘Today, you are to travel with some brothers from the Seam of Mudmuddle. They are helping us to become a dirty, flying, dump force. You will all get to show your nasty, suffocating side. Any takers?’
The army of dust particles stirred. The blanket of dust arose. Nootster was glad to get rid of them off his shown side, so he could continue his journey. He now knew what to follow. Suddenly, a howling sound blew out of the ground. The Seam of Mudmuddle particles were spoiling for action. It had been a while since they had last acted angrily and it was a good feeling. Whoosh, the ground opened and a dark, sinewy film of dirty, dust particles arose and circled in formation with Dustbag. The army of irritants were ready.
‘This is too hard, Mr Grunt. My legs are tired from crisscrossing all the time. Can’t we rest?’ moaned Davidia. After all, she was only a young girl who hadn’t done any weights or endurance training. Her fitness levels were very raw.
‘We cannot stop. The slime might grow too powerful for us to avoid.’
‘I thought this was going to be fun. Now I’m lost, hungry and with nowhere to go. I want to go home,’ sulked Davidia. It felt like playtime was over for her.
‘Keep alert Batbit. The silence is deafening. Listen; put your ear to the ground. There might be a vibe or something to hear. I’ll make a clear patch for you.’
The slime goo resisted movement. Grunt had to hold it up as a covering whilst Batbit placed a large ear to the ground. His hearing antenna picked up a scraping sound.
‘Something is slithering along the surface. Its soft sound indicates that it is light. It could be that carpet blanket I saw before. The strength of the vibrations means that they are near.’
Grunt replaced the slime covering. He watched it ooze back into place as it resettled.
‘What was that?’ asked Noosy. She had detected the relayering of the slime cover. ‘Something is tampering with our hard work. I felt a slight tremor. Our slime is under threat. Be ready girls, we may have to act.’
Nootster had felt the same movement as Noosy. He had no idea what it was. He became more convinced that he had to approach Noosy and the Shenoots to achieve his goal. His aimless wanderings now had a new direction. It was Noosy or perish. The slime coverings were a message highway and the quickest mode of message transport. Nootster stopped, stood as tall as he could on his four upters and gave the slime covering a-one, a-two, a-three and a special upter twang. The message scampered across the covering like a bolt from the blue.
‘Out of my way. Important message for delivery,’ it seemed to say as it ran straight into Noosy’s back upters. Her group halted immediately. The messenger shortly came under siege by a team of angry upters.
‘I had those cleaned only at first light. Now look what you’ve done, they’re marked,’ scowled Noosy. The Shenoots all nodded in agreement. ‘What are you pestering me for?’ she asked.
‘Important message, important message,’ it repeated.
Noosy stood on the messenger with one of her rotator seeing upters. The message was then transmitted through her other upter. It said, ‘Angry noot, Nootster, needs Noosy’s help.’
‘Me help an angry Noot? Not likely!’
The message kept transmitting, ‘Have to capture Dustbag.’
The mention of that evil name meant Nootster had Noosy’s attention.
‘Girls, lets hear what the angry Noot has to say.’ Noosy sent back a message with a-one, a-two and a double-legged twang by her rear upters. It was a stern message. ‘No tricks, otherwise it’s reweaving for you. Meet us in short light.’ The message sped off for its last delivery. Once a messenger has returned, they dissolve into the slime covering. Nootster anxiously waited. Shortly, he had his answer. ‘Yes,’ he yelled at the ground. He slid quickly toward Noosy and the Shenoots. The name sounded like that of a new, fresh, punk band. Before long he had reached Noosy.
‘You don’t look such a bad carpet piece,’ said Noosy, noticing that he only had two black dots.
‘His weave could be improved,’ said a Shenoot.
‘Are there any more fine rectangles like you?’ flirted another Shenoot.
‘Girls, girls.’ The group quietened. ‘Who are you and what do you want? Any false moves and it’s a nail shower for you.’
Nootster explained his predicament. Capture Dustbag or forever become a laughing-stock carpet square. Noosy was aware that the angry Nooters wanted to run things in the valley. By removing the most dangerous obstacle, Dustbag, their chances would improve. However, they didn’t possess the capacity to do it. Nootster was on a fool’s errand. It was their way of getting rid of him from their group because deep down he was a good, not naughty, angry carpet piece.
‘If we do help you, you realise that you will lose those two black dots.’
Nootster’s shown side sagged in agreement. His whole rectangle gave a little shimmy shake. He knew that the good in him was greater than the bad.
‘You can slide with me,’ said a wanna-be-friendly Shenoot.
‘Want to share some lichen sucki
ng with me?’ said another.
‘Do you want to clean my upters?’ a third chimed in.
Apparently, a male Noot, naughty, angry or not, was a prized encounter. The flirty Shenoots lost no time in putting their best upters forward. Perhaps they might find the time to make a few small carpet squares.
‘Girls, stop the fussing. We have those dangerous life forms to rid from the valley.’
‘I’ve heard that you have the best goo squirters of everyone,’ said Nootster flattering Noosy, who let a small squirt go in surprise.
‘Reform and slide.’
The group regained momentum and headed for Grunt and Davidia. The intruding life forms needed to be expunged from the valley or otherwise slime-balled and entombed for future climbing pieces and practice. Whichever result occurred, it would be a success for Noosy and the Shenoots. However, the only dampener could be that dust storm Dustbag, who had his own agenda, far worse than Noosy’s. His plan was annihilation of the life forms on behalf of the evil Irrids. Grunt was becoming an increasing danger to his past, without knowing.
The showdown was nearing. Noosy and the Shenoots were nearby. Above, hovering like a humming bird was Dustbag, carrying his litany of destructive deliverers. Grunt and Davidia were wondering how they would escape from the valley. Out of sight, a special, not-naughty Noot kept two close rotator eyes glued on the impending event.
‘Where are those silhouettes? I’m ready to dust them down. Are you ready particles?’ asked a puffed-up Dustbag.
He was full blown with the irritable particles who were vying for the best dump vantage points. It was suffocating time. He blew up a dark storm. Light disappeared from the sky. He zoomed in low over the landscape poised to pounce. Underneath, a large section of the ground moved. It caught his eyes just as he was about to spew and cough out his freeloading particle passengers. They had their open gappers gnashing for a delivery. He aborted the dumping and retook his position in the sky.
‘You weak, lily-livered storm cloud. Couldn’t you let us out?’ asked an agitated particle.
‘I was ready to jump, but now we are too high,’ said another.
‘Next time, be the nasty dust cloud you are. It’s embarrassing explaining to young dirt particles about the time we didn’t dump.’
Dissent was rife. The angry dust particles were all peeved off at Dustbag’s inaction. What a wuss of a storm cloud. Dustbag told them to shut their open gappers and exercise patience. Their time would come.
‘The ground down there was moving. It’s been a long while since I’ve seen that.’
‘It’s those do-gooders, Noosy and the Shenoots. What brings them here?’
‘Those two huge silhouettes, I bet,’ said Dustbag.
‘It’s time they got dusted too,’ remarked a primed dust particle.
Dustbag hung loose in the atmosphere, planning his next approach.
‘Who’s showering us with fine dust?’ said Noosy, who felt a layer build up on her shown side. It permeated into her fine weave and was a terrible irritant. She shook her rectangle furiously to rid herself of an unwanted pest.
A few of the Shenoots popped up their rotators and noticed it was heavenly gloom. The sky was dark and foreboding. An airborne intruder was howling like a spoilt brat. It was a misbehaving dust storm up there looking for a place to land.
‘Not on my landscape,’ commented a defiant Noosy. She remembered a story told by daddy Noot from times long gone about the fierce dust storm that almost destroyed the valley. This wasn’t going to happen again on her watch. ‘Keep your rotators on him.’
‘Stop! There they are,’ said Noosy, having located the cause of slime stress. There stood two huge silhouettes, which were both much taller than they were, towering over the valley.
What a pair of whoppers. Noosy wondered if she could communicate with them. She tried a special slime twang with her front upters. A messenger was sent wobbling along the slime highway.
‘Look! The slime has the jelly wobbles,’ remarked Davidia. She placed her hand on the wobbling slime and touched it. ‘Ugh! It feels creepy.’ A thought ran up her arm, feeling a tingle as it did so. It had escaped from the goo.
It said, ‘What are you?’ Davidia stood frozen like an icicle.
‘Mr Grunt, it spoke to me.’
‘What spoke to you?’ he asked.
‘The slime did. Didn’t you see it run up my arm?’
Grunt shook his head. They both wondered who or what had sent it? Grunt turned around to see a large group of rectangles closely together. Their nettles were raised for a firing. Many rotators appeared above them scanning the landscape like periscopes.
‘That patch over there looks like it’s alive,’ said Grunt. ‘Let me tickle the slime.’ It quivered at his touch and once again jelly wobbled to the Shenoots. ‘Incoming message,’ it said. ‘My name is Grunt. We are lost, but we’re peaceful.’
‘You can’t pull that slimy old trick on me,’ said Noosy. ‘Girls, be ready for a firing. They don’t look peaceful to me. Have you seen that round thing with all those bits hanging off? It’s enough to turn me off lichen sucking.’
The Shenoots tightened their formation and under Noosy’s orders sent a thousand nettles at Grunt and Davidia. The air was strobed with a sea of darts covering the landscape like thin, pencil-drawn lines. Grunt recognised the danger and folded into a ball for protection. Davidia shut her eyes in fear. A voice said, ‘Stand firm, no harm will come to you.’ Batbit was secure in his favourite armpit. The nettle shower rained down on them. They all bounced harmlessly off Grunt. His thick exterior provided complete protection. Davidia waited. As soon as a nail touched her, it melted away. Nothing penetrated her soft skin. Noosy and the Shenoots had their rotators up doing three hundred and sixties. They couldn’t believe their rotators. Davidia heard another voice, ‘The truth never puts you in harm’s way.’ She opened her eyes.
‘What happened?’
‘I think we have scared those things over there,’ replied Grunt. ‘I’m sending them another message.’ Grunt gave the slime another tickle message. Once again it jelly-wobbled to Noosy. ‘Incoming message,’ it said, ‘We’re visitors, but we’re peaceful.’
‘It’s a con,’ said Noosy, not believing the ineffectiveness of their most powerful weapons. ‘We’ll, lay a slime carpet, the thickest we have ever made, to capture them. Girls, hoover up the lichen like never before and prepare your squirters for a massive ejection.’
‘What’s the plan?’ asked a curious Shenoot.
‘Under cover of our shown sides, once the thick slime carpet has been laid, we’ll convince them to follow us and walk into the trap. The thick slime will entrap them. We’ll open our carpet formation like a swing door, then jump on them, push them over and using our special squirter mixer, the special occasion one, overslime them. Once caught there can be no escape.’
The Shenoots worked furiously. They built a slime carpet almost to the height of their upters under camouflage and out of sight of prying eyes or dust storms.
‘Fantastic job, girls,’ complimented Noosy. They were all exhausted.
Nootster worried about his problem of capturing Dustbag. Somehow, he had to use the thick slime carpet to entrap him. Dustbag wouldn’t have seen it being built from the sky. Nootster had a dilemma. How could he redirect the capture of Grunt and Davidia to Dustbag? The not-so-naughty Noot stayed on the sidelines ensuring it wasn’t in the path of any conflict.
‘Come on, Dustbag. How long do we have to do dizzy-time floating up here? Can’t we drop on the two silhouettes?’ whined an agitated dirt particle.
‘It’s time we did what we were collected for, drop, stymie, suffocate and leave a dirty mess on those two things down there,’ commented another dirty pest.
‘My open gapper is tired of coughing fine, pretend dust particles. I want to spew out the real, angry, nasty particles that I carry around.’
Dustbag was annoyed at such disharmony within his dusty cloud ranks. The Seam of
Mudmuddle’s members were the main dust particle agitators. He was waiting for the right moment to attack. From where he roamed, the ground was now still. The two silhouettes were stationary. It was time to drop. He wiggled and thrashed his fine tail as the trigger for the approach. He built up a horrific noise and mobilised his wind within. The particles were expressing unbridled enthusiasm for a drop. The sky turned gruesome grey. At ground level, Noosy heard the threatening indicators of a dust storm. It petrified her and the Shenoots. The not-so-naughty Noot darted in amongst the group. The approach startled them.
‘Dustbag is more of a threat than those two things over there. I have communicated with them. Don’t be misled.’
‘Why should we believe you? You have three black dots on your shown side,’ said a suspicious Noosy.
‘They aren’t real. I use them as protection from being attacked by the angry Nooters. I’ll shake one off.’ The not-so-naughty Noot quickly rolled over on to her shown side, wriggled and regained her proper stance. ‘See, one dot has gone.’ Nootster noted that it had very fine upters.
‘What about the two silhouettes?’
Before any further communication could develop, a huge, hissing wind sounding like a malfunctioning distress siren filled the flat valley with darkness. The only visible items on the landscape were Grunt and Davidia and that was where Dustbag was headed. He didn’t notice Noosy and the Shenoots move their position, carrying and protecting the thick, slime carpet. The not-so-naughty Noot scampered back to Grunt and Davidia and relayed an impromptu plan.
‘Crawl under the carpet of slime. Noosy will allow it. As Dustbag approaches to bury you under his dust, lift up the slime carpet by the front two corners and Dustbag will fly straight into it. He will stick in the goo.’
Ingenious. Noosy and the Shenoots were almost upon them.
Dustbag was a full-blown, wind tyrant expressing dissent and anger as he howled. He swooped from the heavens and flew at lightening speed above the ground toward his victims. The nasty dust particles began fighting with each other as he closed in.