“If you say so.” I felt relieved that Mom hadn’t run into George’s arms. Yet.
My cell phone beeped with a text notification. Party at dorms…CU?
“Who is it?” Mom asked.
“Jayce. He wants me to come to a party.”
“Sounds fun. You haven’t been out with friends since the first night here.”
“I’ve hung out with Jayce.”
“When? He’s come over only twice since you blasted out of the shower two weeks ago.”
I wondered if that was true. “I see him on our breaks during our shifts. I think he’s dating Heather. Anyway, I’m too tired to go to parties. I’m trying to be a responsible young adult.”
“You should go,” Mom protested. “You promised me you wouldn’t work the summer away.”
“I never promised.” Not that I would tell Mom the truth, but I had been writing more of the fifth book in Dad’s series. I found that writing fiction during this unbelievable time in my own life was quite therapeutic. I didn’t foresee any of Dad’s editors loving it, but I was having fun. And weirdly, I felt like it was honoring my father. But I hadn’t told anyone—not even Jayce—that I had been writing.
“Go. Have a good time.”
I had every intention of ignoring her. I grabbed my pajamas and headed to the shower. But as the hot water pounded on my weary muscles, I felt a second wind and decided to stop over at the dorms.
Mom watched the late show as I headed toward the door.
“I won’t be gone long,” I said.
“Love the sandals. But cut-offs?”
“I have a dressy tank on,” I argued.
Mom smiled. “The style these days. I can never keep up.”
“Ha, ha.”
“Make sure you have your cell phone. And have Jayce give you a ride back.”
I stepped outside, taking in the fresh night breeze. Glancing at the beach, I was tempted to take my sandals off and walk it.
A staff cart zoomed up to me. Pete, the bartender from the restaurant, had two girls sitting next to him, and his grin revealed exactly what he was thinking. “I can pick up one more.”
“Sure,” I said and sat in the back. The two girls had yet to stop talking, so I didn’t feel the need to introduce myself. When we arrived, the dorms were packed. I noticed kids from the beach houses partying with the staff.
I spotted Lakely and waved, but kept searching for Jayce.
“You came.”
My heart beat wildly as I looked over my shoulder to see Lucas Fairchild addressing me. My body betrayed me as my pulse quickened and my stomach released butterflies. Maddie likes him. Not you. Maddie. Your new friend. “Do I know you?”
“No, not really. But I try to make a point of knowing everyone.” He gave me a half-grin, and I had to swallow hard.
“I’m sure you do,” I said. “If you’ll excuse me, I’m looking for a friend.”
“Jayce? He’s walking the beach with my sister. I’m Lucas, by the way. Lucas Fairchild.” He extended his hand.
“I have to go.” I took a step backward. “I’m going to go find my friend, Maddie. Remember her? You were with her the other night.”
“Maddie’s not here. I tried to get her to come, but she decided to go to the movies with Jackson.”
“Jackson who?”
“My best friend.”
“What?” I asked, stunned. “Are you sure? All that girl does is talk about you.” I stopped myself from continuing. “Never mind. Have a good night.”
“Wait,” he said, gently grabbing my arm. “Don’t run off. Or else I’ll have no one to talk to.”
“I’m pretty sure, you’d find someone else.”
“There you are!” Jayce exclaimed, picking me up and giving me a bear hug. “You never texted back.”
“I decided last minute,” I laughed. “Now put me down, you big goof.”
“How long have you been here?”
“Just a little while.”
“Don’t worry,” Lucas interjected. “I kept her company while you were off with Heather.”
I glanced over and saw Heather beside him.
“Well, thanks,” Jayce said to Lucas, good-naturedly. “But I can take it from here.” To Heather, he said, “I’m gonna hang out with Brooke for a while. I’ll catch up with you later.”
Before Heather could respond, Jayce took my hand and pulled me away from the party.
“If you intended to annoy both of them, you succeeded.”
“They’ll survive.” He grinned back at me.
“If you want to hang out with Heather, you don’t have to hang out with me. I can talk to other people. I’m sure Lakely would be entertaining.”
“Stop it, Brooke,” he said, while we kept walking away from the dorms. “We’ve been super busy, and I want to know how everything’s going.” He held my hand as we took a long set of steps down to the beach.
I hesitated and glanced at the water.
“Do you want to go somewhere else?”
“No.” I took a deep breath. Maybe overcoming my fear of water would end whatever this do-over was about. And, if I were already dead, I didn’t have to be afraid of water anymore. “Let’s head down to that dock.”
“Anything new with the nightmares? Last time we talked a few days ago, you said it’s the same thing.”
“Yep. It’s so frustrating. I’m trying to get out of the kayak, but it’s no use. And I wake up at the same time. When I blackout.”
“And you’re sure it’s a memory?”
“I’m positive. I even have on the red life vest I was wearing when I went kayaking with Dad.”
“I’m surprised the life jacket’s not being of use.”
“Something happened that trapped me underwater. Even a life vest can’t protect against that. But here’s the thing. The memory is incomplete. I mean, look at me. Here I am. Alive. Or at least I was before the summer do-over.” I shook my head. “Never mind. I’ll figure it out.”
“You still think this summer is some kind of do-over?”
“Don’t worry about it,” I said. “It’s no big deal. I’m not going to talk about it because it makes me sound crazy. There’s no rational explanation, so I’m going to chock it all up to grief.”
“Just because I can’t wrap my head around it, doesn’t mean that I don’t want to be supportive. If you think a do-over happened, then I believe you.”
“You believe that I think there was a do-over. That somehow it’s in my mind.” Jayce went to protest. “I get it. Seriously. Let’s talk about something else.”
“Tell me about the restaurant. You’re so busy.”
“I’m making a ton of tips. In one night I made over two hundred dollars.” I chatted about the restaurant. A full moon lit the sky and the whole thing would have been romantic, but I told myself that I was only with Jayce.
“Are you serious?” he asked. “Over two hundred dollars just in tips? How about you getting me a job there?”
“It will be even more when I don’t have to split it with Tracy. She gets a cut because she’s still training me. But thanks for letting me know about it. I’m enjoying keeping busy.”
“Anything to keep your mind off things?” he asked as we sat, side by side, on a small dock.
“Something like that.”
“How’s Miguel treating you? Is he as bad as everyone says he is?”
“He’s pretty mean,” I said. “But he’s trying to run the restaurant and help the cooks cover until a head chef is hired. Hey, can you cook?”
“Macaroni and cheese.”
“Well, you might need to know a little more than that, but I’m sure they’re still looking for servers.” I paused. “If you want to work up at the Boardwalk, why’d you accept a job at the ice cream shack?”
“That’s where Jon worked for three summers in a row. Besides, I took the quickest position that would get me here.”
“I can’t believe he upped and joined the Marines. How’
s he doing?”
“Good. Still finishing training before they fly him overseas.”
“I used to have such a crush on him. He’d come to pick you up after school in his sports car, and I would beg you to let him take me home.” I smiled at the memory.
“Sports car?” Jayce snorted. “It was a 1980’s Camaro whose floor was rotting out.”
I started laughing.
“And I feel insulted. That whole time I thought you were digging me, but no, you were digging him.”
I kept laughing but managed to get out, “Sorry!”
We both heard the yells at the same time. Turning, I could make out a handful of people running down the steps and barreling toward us. “What in the world?”
“Looks like some people are going swimming.”
“Should we move?”
“Nah, they’ll jump over or around us. Or push us in with them.”
“Maybe I should get off the dock,” I said, feeling my stomach seize at the thought of being thrown in.
Sure enough, several people jumped off the dock into the water.
“No bathing suits?” I asked.
A girl ran at us completely clothed. She threw off her sweatshirts but jumped in with her t-shirt and shorts still on.
“Nothing wrong with modest bathing,” Jayce joked.
One of the guys splashed at us, trying to convince us to jump in. Jayce stood up. “Since I’m already wet…” He peeled off his shirt.
“Jayce!”
He ran to the end of the dock and jumped in, splashing me with water.
The kids cheered.
Someone taunted me. “Join the water festivities.”
“I’m good.” I walked backward a few steps until I was safely on the beach.
“Look,” another boy said, standing up. “It only comes to my chest.”
“I dare you,” a girl called out.
Everyone taunted and teased. Suddenly someone came up from behind me, picked me up, and threw me over his shoulder. “Lakely!” I screamed, fully panicking. “No! Put me down!”
The kids in the water and others still arriving, encouraged Lakely to dump me in. Jayce came close to us. “Dude, put her down. She doesn’t like open water.”
I kicked and flailed and cried, but that only added to everyone’s goading.
“Do it! Do it! Do it!”
Lakely struggled to get me to the end of the dock. I knew I was making a huge scene, but I seriously felt like I would be sick.
Then he dumped me over the dock and into the water.
The cold water shocked my brain. My body froze in fear as I sank to the shallow bottom of Lake Michigan’s shoreline. Then the water shifted. I blinked to try to adjust my eyes. It was dark and deep. Then someone swimming toward me. Grabbing my waist and bringing me back to the surface.
I coughed and hacked and wheezed while Jayce continued carrying me to the beach.
“Is she okay?” someone asked.
“She must not be able to swim.”
I faintly heard Lakely say, “Sorry, Brooke.”
Jayce set me down on the beach. “Take deep breaths.”
I tried, but my entire body shook, and I began to hyperventilate.
“Put your head between your knees,” someone said right beside me. His hand guided my head down. To Jayce, he said, “Go, grab a towel or blanket.” Then I felt a sweatshirt placed over my shoulders. The same guy pulled my hair back. “Breathe,” he said quietly in my ear. “In. Out. Real slow.”
His voice became melodic, and I found myself eventually breathing in and out. Slow and steady. Just as his voice commanded.
After several minutes, I felt more composed. “I need to get out of here,” I managed to say between breaths.
“I’m going to pick you up and take you back to the dorms,” the guy said.
I didn’t bother to acknowledge him because he swept me up and headed away from the beach. I kept my eyes closed and focused instead on steadying my breathing. I rested my head against the guy’s chest, suddenly feeling very tired.
“Here.” I heard Jayce’s voice and felt him try to awkwardly wrap a towel around my shoulders.
I opened my eyes at that point to thank him when I saw who carried me. “Oh no,” I said, beginning to squirm.
“Just let me find a comfortable spot for you away from the water,” Lucas said. “Then I’ll put you down.”
“I’m fine to walk now.”
Lucas slowed and gently set me down on top of a picnic table.
“I’m fine now,” I repeated.
“Just rest for a minute. Your heart is still pounding.”
I knew part of that came from the fact that Lucas stood so close, and he had carried me as if I weighed nothing. “I want to go back to the cabin,” I said to Jayce.
“Of course. Let me see if I can borrow someone’s cart.”
“I can take you,” Lucas said. “I drove over in one. Are you ready to go now?”
“I can walk,” I said quickly, refusing to look at him. I leaned on Jayce as we made our way to Lucas’s golf cart.
The three of us slid into the front.
As Lucas drove us away from the beach, Jayce said, “I’m so sorry, Brooke. Lakely’s gonna pay for doing that to you.”
“He didn’t know.” I leaned my head against Jayce’s shoulder.
“I told him to put you down.”
“I take it you don’t know how to swim?” Lucas asked.
“It’s complicated,” I said quietly, still not able to look at him.
“It’s the third cabin,” Jayce said to Lucas.
Lucas slowed the golf cart. “Do you need help?”
“No, I’ve got Jayce.”
Jayce helped me to the steps, but before I could take them, guilt took over.
Lucas Fairchild had helped me. A lot. I needed to say thank you.
But then I thought of Maddie, of how her eyes lit up when talking about him, and I knew that I couldn’t soften toward Lucas. I refused to be that girl. But what did that have to do with expressing gratitude? I turned and said, “Thanks. For helping.”
“Any time,” he said. “If you ever need anything, let me know.”
Instead of answering, I leaned into Jayce and let him comfort me.
12
I saw him. The water was dark, but it was him.
Dad!
Just a glimpse of him, searching the water, his hands extended, maneuvering through the debris.
Debris?
Yes. The large tree trunk with all its branches blocked Dad from me.
Over here! I wanted to scream. I furiously pushed against the kayak to free myself. That’s when I saw that I wasn’t only stuck in the kayak, the kayak was stuck between several logs. I leaned one way and then the other, hoping to dislodge the kayak.
My lungs burned, but I had to get to my Dad. I couldn’t see him now. Suddenly the kayak shifted. Yes! Just a little more…
A little more…
My lungs protested. Air. I needed air.
A little more…
I sat up in bed gasping for breath. The early morning light leaked through the gaps of the bedroom curtain. Back at the cabin. Not drowning. Not dead. My heart pounded so violently, I pressed a fist against my chest.
My first thought, Dad.
My second thought, Write this down.
I grabbed the small notebook and pen I had begun using to write down the details of the dreams. I now knew they were memories. And this last one solidified my suspicions. Dad seemed to be searching for me. I paused from my notes as the emotion hit me. Dad.
After I had finished frantically scribbling every detail, I set the notebook and pen back on the bedside table and got up. I felt damp like I had some terrible night sweat episode. I yanked off my pajamas. My skin felt all clammy and my fingers had turned pruny. What?!?
I threw on my robe and headed to the shower. This had become routine for the last several nights. I’d wake up between 5:30 to 6:30 each
morning with severe night sweats. Then I’d take a shower, get dressed, and put on my acting face…as if my dreams weren’t freaking me out.
I locked my bedroom door every night to keep Mom or Bobby from coming in unexpectedly. So far, it worked. Just over two weeks into this crazy do-over, and I had managed to keep my weirdness to myself.
A couple days ago Mom had caught on that I showered after work at night, but I also showered in the morning. “I wake up sweaty,” I responded, then walked away before she could press further. I don’t think she believed me, but I wasn’t going to ask.
I made my way to the kitchen to make coffee. All these late nights and early mornings were survivable thanks to my java.
I stopped abruptly in the kitchen entryway. The table was filled with at least a dozen helium-filled balloons. Two wrapped presents sat at my place at the table, along with Mom’s homemade chocolate raspberry cake. I couldn’t help but smile.
Just then, the screen door opened and Mom came inside. “You’re up early.” She kissed me on the forehead. “Happy birthday.”
“This is awesome. When did you do all this?”
“I’ve been hiding stuff for weeks. Well, other than the cake. I got up early to make that.”
“Thanks so much. I love it.”
“Coffee’s already made.”
“Hallelujah.” I poured a cup then added cream and sugar. “My brain must still be on school time because I keep waking up early.”
“How did you sleep last night? You were whimpering and thrashing around about an hour ago. I tried to check on you, but the door was locked.”
I sipped the coffee and decided to at least give her a partial truth. “I’ve been dreaming a lot about Dad.”
“Oh hon, I’m sorry. Anything specific?”
I could tell she was trying not to pry despite her curiosity. “Somewhat. I’m dreaming that I’m stuck in the kayak. Upside down in the water. Last night I saw Dad swimming as if searching for something. I think he was trying to find me.”
Mom covered her mouth, and her eyes immediately filled with tears.
“I think it’s a memory. I think Dad tried to save me.”
Mom came over and wrapped her arms around me. We hugged for a quiet moment. “I’m sorry that you have to relive that.” She pulled back and smiled sadly. “I am glad that you’re getting some memory back. Hopefully, it will all return and then we can have closure. I don’t want to bring up the dreaded topic of a head doctor, especially on your birthday, but at some point, maybe talking to someone about it would help.”
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