But it didn’t make me as excited and happy as I thought it would. Luckily, he did most of the talking.
“I’m so full,” I said with a laugh as I shoved the plate away.
“We still have two more biscuits,” he said, taking another bite. Then he groaned, “Okay, yeah, I’m stuffed.”
“It’s a good thing I’m on my feet for seven hours a night. I probably consumed about two thousand calories right there,” I said, leaning back, knowing full well that I maybe only took a couple of bites total.
“Next time we’ll have to try the ice cream waffles. I have a hard time wrapping my head around breakfast and dessert, but I’m willing to try it.”
“Dessert is good any time of the day.”
After Lucas took care of the bill, he wanted to stroll downtown. “They have a cool Indie bookstore,” he said. “Want to go read some books?”
“I love going to bookstores. My Dad liked taking me to them. We’d sit around and flip through books. Hours would go by, without us realizing it.”
“I figured you might. Come on.”
Soon we were in front of the bookstore. Lucas grabbed my hand and pulled me inside. I inhaled deeply. Nothing smelled as wonderful as new books. I glanced over and noticed Lucas watching me. Heat flooded my face, and I quickly looked away. “Don’t stare at me. I know I’m weird.”
Feeling self-conscious, I headed for the fantasy section. Before I would ever allow myself to pick up another book, I had to find my Dad’s. And there they sat, displayed on an end cap. I picked one up and held it close. The second book had only been released for about six months, but it received starred reviews from several of the critics, and my Dad’s agent had already optioned off the movie rights.
“I bought both of his books,” Lucas said behind me.
“I know,” I said, then stopped myself. He wouldn’t remember the previous summer. Taking a final look, I set the book back down. “My Dad got the idea for the series when he was in college,” I explained. “But it was a guy protagonist at that point. Then a few years later, I was born, and Dad said he had to change the whole thing. He didn’t start rewriting until I was around five. I remember he’d come out of the computer room all excited and read to us a section that he had just finished. That’s how he got the name, Esmeralda.”
“How?”
“I picked it.”
“Is that why you have the name on the bracelet?” he asked, touching my bracelet.
“This is from Jayce,” I said, smiling at it, thinking about how surprised I was at the gift. When I glanced up, I noticed Lucas watching me again. “Sorry. It was a sweet gift.”
“I can tell.” Lucas reached over and picked up one of the books. He opened it to one of the first pages. He showed me the page, but I didn’t need to see it. It had already been embedded in my heart. Dad dedicated the book to his family, but just under it, it said, ‘and especially to my darling daughter, Brooke, for being my inspiration.’
I nodded, and Lucas set the book down. “Should I not have shown you?” he asked.
“It’s all right,” I said. “Bobby acted slighted until Dad told him that the third book was dedicated to him.” I smiled at Lucas, thinking about the advanced copy. “And I promise you that as soon as the next book hits stands, Bobby will be the first one flipping through the pages to make sure Dad was telling the truth.” Bobby had already checked the advanced copy and had whooped in glee when he saw the dedication to him, but I didn’t want to share that. I wanted that moment to stay between me and my family. I needed to change the subject. “What’s your favorite section?” I asked. “You do read books, right?”
“I collect comics,” he said. “I know it sounds nerdy, but I got into them in middle school. I struggled with reading, and graphic novels helped me read better.”
“Nothing wrong with that.”
“Now I’m picky. Fantasy, mostly. But when the book is right, I can’t put it down.”
We traveled through lines of books. He razzed me as I held up Pride and Prejudice as my favorite book.
“No! You mean you like Pride and Prejudice and Zombies.” He showed me one of the books, and I acted disgusted.
We went through titles giving them thumbs up or down depending on the cover and the first page. Lucas ended the game with a Finding Your Inner Zen in his hands. “That can’t beat Needlework for Dummies,” I said.
We decided they both deserved thumbs up just for their titles alone before leaving the bookstore. I contemplated searching for books about hallucinations or books on grief, but not in front of Lucas. I’d come back when I could.
“So, University of Michigan, huh?” he asked as we walked. “We’ll be enemies, you know. I’m a Spartan.”
“My family will always bleed Maize and Blue, but I’m not too sure that I’ll be attending in the fall. My dad pushed me to go to Michigan, but now that’s he gone, I don’t know. It’d save my mom a lot of money for me to go to a community college. Besides, I want to write. I don’t even think you need a degree to do that.”
“My dad was determined I’d go to an Ivy League, but I didn’t want to. So, we settled on State. I’m going to inherit his business anyway, so what’s the point?”
“Do you want to inherit the business?” I asked.
“Sometimes I do, and sometimes I don’t.” He shrugged. “But it’s going to happen. There are worse fates. And I don’t mind it. There’s a lot of golf, which I like. And the money’s good.”
“You shouldn’t have to take the family business if you don’t want it.”
“It’s not that simple. Besides, don’t worry about me,” he teased. “I’ll survive. There are worse fates. Trust me. As for you, if you don’t want to go to college, then don’t go. Be your own person, that’s what I say.”
Although I wanted to hear those words from my mother, I didn’t want to hear them from Lucas. Somehow it bothered me that he was so nonchalant about school and his dad’s business. It made me think about my dad and how much he wanted for me to have an education. Before writing books, he was a bookkeeper for a small law firm. He had earned an associate’s degree in business management because he said his writing wasn’t paying the bills, but he had wanted to get a degree in creative writing.
“You got quiet,” Lucas said, pulling me out of my reverie.
“Just thinking,” I said. My phone buzzed, and I saw it was Jayce. I answered the call, “Hey, can I call you back?”
“Sure. But are you okay? You sounded upset.”
“Yeah, I was. I am, but I can’t talk right now.”
“Today’s my day off, so come see me.”
I heard a girl’s voice in the background. “Who’s that?”
“Maddie. She said to tell you hi.”
“Oh.” I couldn’t think of anything more to say. I hung up without saying good-bye and stared at my phone.
“Everything okay?”
“Yeah, it was Jayce. I told him I’d call him later.”
Lucas nodded. I could tell he wanted to say something.
After a minute of walking in silence, I said, “Thanks for breakfast. And for the bookstore.”
“I’m glad you agreed to come. I was half-expecting you to say no.”
We reached his car, and he opened the door to let me in. Suddenly I felt very nervous. Once he slid into his seat and smiled at me. “Where to next, m’lady?”
I tried to swallow, and instead of looking at him, I studied my hands. “We should probably head back.”
“So soon?”
“Yeah, I’ve got something I have to take care of.”
Lucas studied me for a minute. “Does it have to do with what happened earlier? You acted like you saw a ghost.”
“A ghost would be simpler. This is more complicated. I’ll spare you the details.”
“I’m a good listener.”
I didn’t feel like explaining. He wouldn’t understand, and it would lead to more questions. But I’d have to give him some info or
we’d be sitting here forever. This date, which had seemed nice and relaxing at first, was irritating me, and I couldn’t figure out why. “I’ve been trying to put together what happened with my father’s death. That’s all.”
“That’s got to be hard,” he said. “I shouldn’t have pushed.”
“No, no, don’t feel bad,” I said, adding guilt to my mix of emotions. “I appreciate your concern. It’s a lot right now, that’s all.”
“How about if I take you back now, and then maybe, I don’t know, Friday night we could go an actual date. Where I show up with flowers and take you to dinner where we eat by candlelight and other sappy stuff?”
“Weekends are our busiest nights,” I said. When I saw his disappointment, I added, “I’m normally off on Mondays or Tuesdays.”
“Monday night then?”
I smiled and nodded. I didn’t understand what was going on with me. Normally, I melted at the sight of Lucas Fairchild, and now I nearly squirmed in frustration. Did I not want to go out with him?
But why wouldn’t I? It was Lucas Fairchild.
As we drove back, Lucas chatted away, completely unaware of my cooled feelings. “I should take you out on my sailboat sometime. It’s incredible.”
“I would, but I don’t do too well with open water.”
“Oh, that’s right. Do you need swim lessons? Heather is a long-distance swimmer. You could have her help you with lessons. I was gonna tell you that when you were thrown in the lake a couple of weeks ago. I could tell you didn’t know how to swim.”
“I’m fine. I can swim, so I’ll pass on the swim lessons. I don’t know what I need, but it’s not that.”
He smiled at me while he drove, but it didn’t reach his eyes. I could tell that he was starting to have an inkling of my frustration. As he pulled into the Charlevoix Yacht Club and headed down the street that led to the cabin, he asked, “What did Jayce say to you?”
“Nothing. Why?”
“You seem annoyed. You were fine until that phone call.”
The second the words were out of his mouth, I knew it to be true. Why was I so annoyed at Jayce? But I didn’t want to think about the possible answer. I had too much already to deal with. “He never answers his phone,” I fibbed. “And then calls back at the most inopportune times. So annoying. But you’re right. I’m sorry that Jayce spoiled my mood.”
When we reached my family’s rental, he turned off the car and came around to my side to walk me to the cottage’s door. He grabbed my hand and kissed my cheek, saying, “Next time, we’ll turn off our cell phones. Deal?”
“Deal.” I could barely get the word out because my stomach had released butterflies from his kiss. I hadn’t been expecting it. I was more confused than ever. One minute I was so frustrated I wanted to scream, then I feel butterflies the minute a guy kisses me.
“Brooke?” Mom’s voice called out from the opened door.
“Yeah, it’s me.”
“Oh, hello Lucas,” Mom said as she stepped onto the deck. “Your mother was looking for you last night.”
“I forgot to leave her a note, and my phone was charging in the car, so I missed her messages.”
Mom watched us with approval. Of course, she wouldn’t care if Lucas spent time with me. She would like nothing better. “I’m sure it’ll blow over,” she said, smiling at us like she just won a prize. “So did you enjoy breakfast? Bobby said that’s where you two went.”
“Yes,” I answered. “Lucas persuaded me to go eat some breakfast and check out the bookstore in town.”
If Mom’s smile could get any bigger, it would have. “Did you use the gift card from your birthday?” She acted like she wanted to hug Lucas.
“Okay, you should get going,” I said to Lucas. “Before my Mom starts to embarrass me.”
Lucas said good-bye to Mom, gave me another kiss on the cheek, then left me standing on the sidewalk waving at him until I couldn’t see his car anymore. When I finally walked up the steps, Mom had her arms crossed. “You better start explaining, missy,” she said in fake irritation.
“He stopped over because he wanted to give me a late birthday present. Then he talked me into breakfast. That’s it.”
“I didn’t realize either of you knew each other.”
“We’ve been talking here and there,” I said as an easy answer.
“Well, that’s great, sweetie. He is certainly a hunk, that’s for sure.”
“So, what happened last night?” I asked, changing the subject. “Do you stay out often until almost five in the morning?”
“No.” Mom gave a short laugh but avoided eye contact. “It was Diane’s crazy idea. Latin dancing down at the local bar. But it was a lot of fun. I haven’t let loose like that since…well, I don’t remember when.”
“But you were with both Mr. and Mrs. Fairchild, right?”
“Yes!” she exclaimed. “Will you stop thinking about me and George like that? We’re friends,” Mom said with her arm around me. “I’m not so desperate to go after a married man. Now let’s get a glass of iced tea, and you can tell me all about Lucas.”
I followed her inside, my heart heavy. What had made Mom so desperate the previous summer? But I already knew the answer. Me.
Once again, I saw the truth, and just like with my feelings about Jayce, I wasn’t ready to deal with it.
16
I stood at the docks and passed boxes to Pedro. But I kept dropping them. “Sorry,” I murmured after the box of utensils fell, scattering everywhere. Thankfully, Pedro liked me enough to be patient.
“Are you all right?” he asked in Spanish, as he helped me pick up the items.
“No,” I answered because I couldn’t think up a good lie. I was standing on the docks far from the shore, the water surrounding us. The water had become even more of a nemesis, mostly because my dreams were like real nightmares. Scary and with a lot of aftermath. The last couple of nights it happened again. I woke up completely drenched. And my dreams would change: one minute I was stuck upside down in a kayak, the next I was trying to swim up for air in dark water. I never made it. In both scenarios, I ran out of air.
And it made me grumpy. Really, really grumpy. And jittery.
No matter how much I prayed, it felt like the Big Guy was silent. I wasn’t entirely sure how prayers were supposed to work, but some sign that He was listening would be great.
Why couldn’t I have a clue as to what was happening? If I was dead, then I’d appreciate some closure. But every time I resigned myself to the fact that I was dead, something didn’t sit right. Like my conscious wasn’t ready to accept that.
I saw Jayce approach and immediately busied myself with two boxes. “I’ll take these inside the yacht,” I said before Pedro could stop me.
“Brooke!”
I heard Jayce call my name, but I kept walking. I wasn’t ready to see him. Not now. I was too embarrassed and afraid and a hundred kinds of jealous. Not that I could admit that to him or anyone. I was still mad at myself about all my confused feelings and longings. I thought I was madly crushing on Lucas. That was until Jayce had called me with Maddie in the background.
“Brooke!” Jayce came up beside me. “I was calling you.”
“Oh? I didn’t hear.”
“Let me take those.”
Before I could say no, he had grabbed the boxes. I didn’t know what to say.
“Where do they go?” he prompted.
“Oh! Right. Sorry. In the galley. Take a left and head in that direction.” I turned to leave.
“Wait!” he said, perplexed. “Aren’t you going to go with me?”
“Why? You’ve got the boxes.”
“Fine. Wait right there. I’ll be back in a second.” When I started walking away from him, he said, “I’m serious, Brooke, we need to talk.”
I waved my hand at him.
Miguel had just walked up and ordered Pedro back to the restaurant for more supplies.
“I’ll go,” I volunteered. “Wha
t do you need?”
“Go tell Pete to bring up the iced tea,” he said. “By the way, I’ve decided to keep you at the restaurant tonight. I guess there’s a big golf tournament, which means we’ll need a strong staff at the restaurant. I’ll handle the Fairchild’s dinner party here with the servers I’ve already got.”
“Yes!” I said, a little too excited. “I am perfectly fine with not getting on that yacht.” Knowing Jayce would step off the yacht, I started moving fast toward the restaurant.
A part of me knew I was being a coward. Since the date with Lucas, I’d been doing a lot of thinking. I wasn’t ready to admit anything yet, other than I couldn’t deny how jealous I was. But it didn’t make sense. Jayce had dated lots of girls, and I’d never been jealous. Even with Heather, it bothered me a little, but not like this. I knew it was because Maddie was a sweetheart, and if anyone could steal Jayce’s heart, it was her. And it made me so jealous I could barely see straight. I reasoned that I needed Jayce right now more than ever, and it made me all the lonelier. But it was more than that, making it all the more difficult to process.
I made it to the restaurant and found Pete. “Hey, Miguel needs the iced tea. There are two barrels of it in the fridge.”
His phone rang. He held up a finger, indicating I should wait.
“Hey, babe,” he said all sexy into the phone. After a pause, he said, “I can be there in a half-hour…I know where.” He ended the call. “Listen, I’ve got to head out for a little bit. It’s an emergency. Can you bring the barrels out to him?”
“An emergency?” I didn’t believe a word. “Who’s waiting for you now?”
He winked and left me standing there.
I went to find someone to help in the back and nearly plowed into Jayce. “What are you doing here?” I asked, all in a huff.
“Thanks for waiting,” he said, just as irritated.
“I’m busy…working,” I said, as I headed toward the fridge. “Pete left me high and dry, and now I’ve got to lug these two barrels up to Miguel.”
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