“Granny, Granny, you’re as white as a ghost. Perhaps I better call your kids.”
“Just give me a minute,” Granny said in a weak tone.
Granny looked at the bit of scrap the Big Guy was holding in his hand. “How do you know that’s a fuchsia nightie?”
“The tag was all that was left when we put the fire out. We traced it to a store called Red Hot Mama’s and they confirmed what it was. They’re checking their records as we speak.”
Granny turned away from the big guy, quickly pinched her cheeks which immediately brought the color back to her cheeks as it was a hard pinch, and turned back to confront the Big Guy again.
Granny glanced at the restaurant window. The good looking young man was watching her from the window.
She grabbed the Big Guy and pointed toward the window. “Do you see that man?” When she looked back, the good looking young man was gone.
“There’s no one there, Granny. This time we have the entrances sealed. No one can get in.”
“But I saw him. He was there. He’s always watching me!” Granny proclaimed in her loudest voice. The ambulance crew, the fire crew and the police turned to look at Granny.
The Big Guy took Granny’s arm and led her to a nearby bench. “Granny, are you ok? Let me help you to your car. I think you’re not well. I was worried about you after the last restaurant incident.”
“I saw this young man. He was in the window. It’s not my imagination! I don’t need help to my car.” To make her point, Granny brought the end of her umbrella right down on his foot.
As Granny did that, she remembered that the Big Guy had said the wine stock had been stolen and she remembered the wine in the trunk of her car.
“I think I need to go home and rest,” Granny said just as the Big Guy was trying hard not to let out a yell of pain.
Granny sprinted to her car and drove away as quickly as she could, trying not to draw any suspicion to her car.
The Big Guy watched Granny drive away. He wondered if he should call her kids. Granny’s instincts had always been good. That was why the merchants hired her. Who would suspect Granny of being an undercover person for the police department? But lately she was acting stranger than usual.
Granny drove into her garage. She took the bottles of wine, grabbed a shovel, went into her new forest and dug a hole deep enough to bury the wine. She then took the grass that Sally had given her and dumped it on top of the shoveled-in hole. It was at that moment Granny heard a sound. She turned around and bumped straight into Gram Gramstead.
“Hi, Granny.”
Granny quickly sat down on top of the lump of grass she’d just patted down to cover the hole she’d dug.
“What are you doing here, Gram?”
“I saw you rush away from the scene of the crime at Rack’s so I wanted to make sure you were ok?”
Granny stared intently at Gram’s face. There was something about that face. “You always seem to be lurking, Gram. I had to get home to put in my grass before it got dark.”
Gram handed Granny a bouquet of flowers. “I brought you some flowers in hopes it would make you feel better. See you later, Granny.” Gram turned around and walked out the gate.
Granny stood up and took a whiff of the flowers. That’s the last thing Granny remembered doing before she woke up on the ground to Fish, the little white poodle, Furball and Tank licking her face. She must have been sleeping a little while because it was now dark.
Granny sat up confused. Had she fallen asleep in her yard? She still felt groggy. She felt like she’d woken up from a long winter’s nap. She remembered smelling the flowers and that was it, except she didn’t see any flowers now. Maybe all this excitement was wearing her out. Maybe there was something to that saying “Wake up and smell the roses.” She was smelling roses now and other flower blends too in her imagination.
Then Granny remembered the reason she was in her forest. She’d hid evidence from the crime at Rack’s. The wine had to have come from Rack’s. Granny made it into the house and plunked down on the couch.
She looked down at Furball. Furball plunked something down in her lap. It was the earring Maizie was wearing when she waited on Granny’s table. Granny was looking at the earring in amazement when she heard a rap at the door.
Granny stomped to the door. “What now?” she yelled in irritation, thinking Franklin was on the other side. Granny stepped back with a look of exasperation only to find the Big Guy on the other side of the door.
“Big Guy, what are you doing here?” Granny asked as she gave a glance around her house making sure there was no evidence in clear view. She stuffed the earring she was holding in her pocket so he wouldn’t see.
“Granny, we need to talk about these heists. I have some concerns.”
“Of course, anything I can help you with. Do you need me to do some undercover sleuthing at night?”
“No, Granny, it’s been brought to my attention that at each of these of heists your red Corvette was seen sitting outside the building at closing time. In fact it’s sitting in front of Persnickety’s Book Store right now.”
“It isn’t. It’s sitting in my garage. I drove it home from Rack’s this afternoon. Don’t you remember? You were there.”
“Yes, I know you weren’t feeling well and you were confused. You were seeing people that weren’t there.”
“He was there!” Granny shouted, “and my car is in my garage! I’ll show you.” Granny grabbed his arm and proceeded to drag him to her garage as much as you could drag a big hulk like the Big Guy. When Granny opened the door, she stopped short. Her car was not there!
“Look, Granny, this doesn’t look good. Do you want me to drive your car home?”
“No, you can give me a ride and I’ll drive it home myself.” Putting on her most put-out expression, Granny proceeded to his car and plopped herself in the front seat not saying a word until they stopped in front of Granny’s car.
“I will prove to you I had nothing to do with this.” Granny slammed the door and proceeded to her car.
“I hope you will, Granny. I hope you will.”
Granny drove home, parked her car in the garage, double locked her garage door and was thankful it was dark so Big Guy didn’t see the forest in her backyard. He would have hauled her away. Her kids would haul her away to the wrinkle farm.
Granny was greeted by the four shysters. They hadn’t left for the evening while Granny was out. Granny took turns throwing them treats and thinking about her situation. Furball took that time to jump on her head and purr and that was when Granny had her next light bulb moment. Granny decided to sleep in her clothes. She had her umbrella and pocketbook ready by the bed so she could get going bright and early in the morning. She heard the pet door swish as she formulated her plan in her mind.
Chapter Fifteen
Bright and early the next morning, Granny was pounding on Franklin Gatsby’s front door. She’d looked up his address on the internet since he hadn’t provided Granny with that information on his recent visit.
Granny’s pounding got louder and louder. Where was that man? It was taking him a long time to answer his door and Granny wanted to make sure she wasn’t too late.
The door finally opened and when Granny got a look at Franklin, her hand ready to pound again, stopped in midair. Granny’s mouth fell open and then she doubled over in a rolling, loud laugh.
“What are you doing here, Granny and what do you think is so funny?” Franklin said with a scowl on his face.
“Why Franklin, a big man like you wearing a fuchsia robe covered with pictures of Furball and Tank? I don’t know. What could be funny about that?” With a loud snort, Granny again started into a rolling laugh, laughing louder and louder until she was almost crying.
The door started to shut in her face. “Wait, wait, I need to make sure I’m not too late.” Granny stopped for a moment and thought she was getting pretty good at this rhyming stuff. She continued on. “Are the shysters still h
ere?”
“They are. You came all the way over here to ask that question when they’ll be back at your house later today. They just had their breakfast. Fish and Itsy had gourmet salmon and Bitsy and little white poodle had steak.”
“You fed them steak and salmon? Breakfast is tofu!”
Franklin rolled his eyes. “You are here why?”
Granny looked at Franklin and used every ounce of restraint in her tiny little body to keep herself from laughing at the sight of this big man wearing a fuchsia robe with Furball and Tank all over it.
“First, where did you get that robe? I would have never guessed you were the fuchsia type.”
“My daughters gave it to me. I was a little horrified when I opened their present, but after wearing it, I like it. It gets me in touch with my softer side. Do you want to make something of it?” Franklin asked in a huffy voice. “And quit trying to change the subject. Why are you here?”
“I’m here to follow the shysters when they leave your house.” As Granny said that, Fish, the little white poodle, Furball and Tank were heading for the pet door. Granny prepared to follow.
Franklin saw what was happening and stepped in front of the pet door and locked it.
“No one leaves this house until you tell me what’s going on!”
Fish, the little white poodle, Furball and Tank all turned their backs on Franklin and sat down in a pout.
“You’re the big hotshot, retired detective from New York,” Granny declared. “You figure it out!”
Granny started over to unlatch the pet door. Franklin stood firmly in front of the pet door. The shysters turned around and looked at Franklin. Fish and Furball hissed loudly, Tank nipped at his ankle and little white poodle sat up in her cutest pose begging him to open the door.
Franklin stood firm, giving Granny the no nonsense, you’re not leaving here until you tell me look.
“I need to follow them and see where they go from here.”
“Why?”
“Because they keep bringing me presents and I want to see where they shop. Now let them go.” Granny started to get agitated and she stomped her umbrella down on the floor.
Again, Granny got up to unhook the pet door. Franklin again, was just as quick to re-latch the hook.
Granny was getting more agitated by the minute. She started pacing and the explanation that she never intended to come out of her mouth just spewed out in a babbling story.
“I have a secret life. I’m an undercover detective for the stores here in town. I catch their crooks.”
“What day is this today, Granny? How old are you? Where do you live?” Franklin asked to test her fogginess.
“I know what day it is. I know how old I am. I know where I live. I may be foggy some time, but I’m not senile and I’m not making my job up!” Granny shouted.
She went on and this time Franklin couldn’t calm Granny down or interrupt the story she started to tell.
“It started with AbStract being robbed and Estelle disappearing and Estelle’s earring ending up at my house as a present from Fish. And then he brought home the little white poodle and then I saw this good looking man watching me in AbStract, only he wasn’t, cause he disappeared and no one else saw him,” Granny rambled on, one sentence turning into another not always making sense.
“My car was there and then it wasn’t and then Ella’s Enchanted Forest was robbed and Delight’s daughter Ella was missing and then the forest that got stolen ended up in my backyard and the young man was watching me again and then he wasn’t. When Rack’s got broken into there were wine bottles in my car. Maizie went missing and her earring ended up in my house and the bottles of wine were from the stock that was stolen from Rack’s and so I buried them in my back yard and then I fainted or something and when I came to the shysters were licking my face and I thought I had flowers in my hand and then I didn’t. Did I dream them? And then the Big Guy came and he told me my car had been seen in front of the stores the nights of all the robberies, only it wasn’t because it was in my garage but it wasn’t when I looked, it was at Persnickety’s and they are going to haul me away and trade in my fuchsia nightie for an orange jumpsuit, only I’m innocent and the shysters keep bringing me presents that get me in trouble and I have to figure it out. Orange isn’t my color.” Granny finally took a huge breath and headed to unlock the pet door.
Franklin took a firm grip on Granny’s arms and gently lowered her to a chair and got her a glass of milk.
“Granny, let me help you sort this out. Take a breath.”
“No one will believe me. I’m little foggy at times. Maybe I did do it? Why can’t I remember where the flowers came from and where they went? If I can’t remember that, maybe I don’t remember stealing all those things? Do I need to go to the wrinkle farm?” Granny looked up at Franklin helplessly.
Franklin thought for a moment. “If you’re determined to follow the shysters because you’re convinced they know somethin, then let’s think this thing out first. What time do they leave your house at night?”
“They swish out the pet door between 10:00 and 11:00 p.m.”
“They arrive here at around 2:00 or 3:00 a.m. and they leave again around 7:30 a.m.”
“They arrive back at my house sometime in the late afternoon. Usually after 4:00. At least that’s the time I’ve noticed them arriving when I’m home.” Granny gave Franklin a stubborn look. “When I’m working my undercover job (Franklin gave Granny a disbelieving look), they’re usually waiting for me when I arrive home between 5:00 and 6:00.”
“That leaves them a lot of time to get into mischief.” Franklin surmised. “After listening to your rambling story I have to ask; how do you think you or anyone else could steal a forest and put it in your back yard?”
“It happened!” Granny screamed in exasperation.
Franklin thought for a moment, wanting to appease Granny. “Ok, Granny, you follow the shysters. After all, what kind of trouble could you get into following them? I’ll spin by your back yard and check out your forest and the wine you buried in your back yard. We’ll meet back at your place when you follow the shysters to your house.
“But we have to be clever. Those shysters are smart,” he whispered. “If they know you’re following them, they won’t take their regular route. Pretend to leave and go outside and hide in the bush around the corner. I’ll give you a few minutes, and then I’ll unlatch the pet door. They won’t suspect a thing.”
Granny stomped her umbrella on the ground, swung her pocketbook wide and in a loud voice announced, “If you don’t believe me Franklin Gatsby, I’m leaving!” With a huffy gait, she walked out the door, slamming it on the way out, and hid in the bushes.
A few minutes later, the foursome navigated out the pet door and turned on Blue Bird Lane that led to the lake. Granny followed a distance behind.
Franklin got into his 1957 black Corvette and headed to Granny’s back yard.
Bluebird Lake was in the middle of Blue Bird Park. As Granny headed toward the park, making sure the shysters didn’t see her, she smiled at the geese that inhabited the lake and the park. Besides being known as the colorful town with the colorful name, Fuchsia was also known for the prolific numbers of geese that inhabited the town. If there was a goose joke anywhere, it always seemed to end up having something to do with Fuchsia. The founding fathers didn’t like being known as the goose joke of Minnesota, so they dubbed the Park and the Lake, Blue Bird although Granny couldn’t remember the last time she’d seen a blue bird in the park, only geese. Fuchsia was also home to the BlueBird Songbirds Basketball Team and The Blue Bird Raisin Eaters Football Team. Granny’s personal opinion was that city folks probably didn’t know the difference between geese and blue birds. She always told city folk visitors the geese were blue birds that wear camouflage and they always nodded in agreement.
Granny followed Fish, the little white poodle, Furball and Tank around the lake, back through the park. They started heading to Main Street. The
y walked with a purpose, in a straight line with no detours.
Granny was careful to hop from bush to bush and house to house so they wouldn’t discover that she was following them. They sharply turned into an alley behind AbStract. Granny stopped short and peeked around the corner. Waiting for the shysters was Baskerville!
Granny watched as they stepped to the short brick wall that covered a space in between AbStract and the next building. It was ridiculous but it was as if Baskerville was the lookout. First Fish disappeared into a hole in the wall in between the buildings, the little white poodle, Furball and Tank followed Fish. Granny moved forward to peer into the hole only to be stopped by Baskerville.
“Baskerville, it’s me, Granny. Want a treat?” Granny pulled out some dried bacon bits that she always carried in case of a dog emergency.
Baskerville muttered a low growl and wouldn’t let Granny through.
“Ok, I get it,” Granny said as she backed away.
Just then her cell phone started playing the theme from the old TV show Dragnet, the song Granny had put in her phone so she’d know Franklin was calling. She’d given Franklin her number in case he needed to reach her.
“Granny, did you neglect to mention that you might have buried something else?”
“No, just the wine and then I plunked the grass Sally gave me on top of the hole.”
“Was anything else stolen from Rack’s?”
“They had a lot of money stolen. Why?”
“Because some of it’s buried with the wine.”
Granny dropped the phone in shock. She could hear Franklin yelling into the phone. Slowly she picked it back up.
“It wasn’t there when I buried the wine. I swear it wasn’t there!” Granny proclaimed.
“Well, it’s here now. Granny, do you remember anyone visiting you besides the Big Guy after you buried the wine?”
“No, I told you I must have fallen asleep and the shysters licked my face to wake me up. No one else was there. Do you suppose the Big Guy buried the money and is framing me?”
Julie Seedorf - Fuschia Minnesota 01 - Granny Hooks A Crook Page 8