“I’m sorry Nick. I’m sorry you had to lie to your parents. But someone wise once told me that you are in control over your actions. You can decide to set things right with them. It’s your choice,” She said biting her lip.
Nick turned to her and said, “That’s why I thought it might be easier to call things off.”
“Is that what you want? Marissa asked worriedly.
“Not really,” he answered softly.
“So what do we do?”
“So I guess you’re Samira to my parents until further notice.”
Marissa stared into his dreamy blue eyes giving thanks that it wasn’t the end.
Nick stared back at her with fondness. “How was the birthday dinner?”
“That’s why I needed to talk,” began Marissa.
“That bad huh?”
“Yeah. I’m a little better now just being with you,” she said squeezing his hand. “The new news is I’m going to have to pay for my own college if I go to California. But if I stay here, the rents will pay.”
“You’ll make it happen,” said Nick confidently.
“What? How do you know?”
“Well, I’m beginning to figure out that you always get exactly what you want. And I don’t know how you do it, but you do.”
“I hope you’re right in this case, because the things that are happening are making California seem like an impossible dream.”
“What does Dan think?”
“About the latest news? He doesn’t know,” Marissa admitted.
“Why didn’t you call him instead of me?”
“I guess it’s because I feel closer to you these days.”
“Not close enough,” Nick said pulling her close to him to kiss her fully on the lips. His wavy hair fell forward as they lay back on the bench not wanting to let go.
Chapter Twelve
“Good news,” Nick announced to Marissa as he playfully grabbed her by the waist. They met the next day, after her choir practice, in a new age bookshop for tea.
Marissa smiled, “I love good news these days. Can’t get enough of it.”
“I’m finally moving out of my parents’ house!” he rejoiced.
“That’s wonderful!” said Marissa excitedly. “Now we can finally have a place to see each other.”
“I’ll have a roommate but he works long hours apparently. It’s a big place.”
“Finally!” said Marissa catching the insinuation. “When are you moving in?”
“Next weekend.”
“Oh, then maybe I can help you move in,” Marissa suggested.
“Uh, my parents will be there to help me. And I don’t even know what I’m going to tell them about you yet.”
Marissa sucked in her breath. “Fine. At least we’ll see each other Friday night as usual. Right?”
Nick sighed, “Wrong. I’ve got plans Friday night.”
She raised her eyebrows. “Plans?”
Nick turned pale, “I, uh, I’ve got a date.”
“What?” Marissa knew that they had never talked about dating exclusively but she felt a sudden surge of jealousy.
“Yeah, I was sort of set up.”
Marissa stared at him blankly.
Nick continued his explanation. “Last night at dinner, my parents invited some friends over with their daughter, who happens to be my age…”
“And single,” said Marissa finishing his sentence.
Nick nodded. “And single. So they sort of suggested, that she and I get together. I was put completely on the spot so I asked her to dinner for Friday night,” he explained.
“So, do you want to go? I mean do you like her?”
Nick shifted uncomfortably in his chair, “Mariss, I don’t even know her. I only met her last night.”
Marissa looked away angrily. “Fine. I’m sure I can find something to do Friday night. Shall we get some tea?”
Nick didn’t move. “Marissa please don’t act like this. You can hardly say anything. You have a boyfriend. We never agreed to exclusivity.”
Marissa’s anger melted a little, “Yes, you’re right. I do have a boyfriend, who, I might add, is three thousand miles away. I don’t even know when I’ll see him again. And you’re right about not agreeing to exclusivity or whatever you said, but I tend to see people who I really want to see. And right now I want to spend my time with you and not anyone else.”
Nick nodded, “Point taken. I’ll go get us some tea.”
After he left, Marissa thought about what he had said. She knew her feelings for him were strong. But she never thought she would feel so threatened by another woman entering into his life. She had always talked freely with him about Daniel, not even stopping to think if it bothered him at all. Yet for the first time since she met Nick Smith, she felt she was at a turning point. She was equally in love with two men who were completely different. And she loved them for different reasons and different qualities. Never in her mind did she think that loving two men would be possible. But here she was admiring the man across the room, every move that he made and loving every moment with him.
All of a sudden Nick came rushing back to the table breaking her from her reverie and handed her a package. “Open it!” he said excitedly.
Marissa looked at him puzzled. “This isn’t tea, I hope. I was hoping to actually drink some.”
Nick looked back at her as if she were silly. “No, open it!”
She unfolded the paper bag and pulled out two identical books. “Nick, why did you give me two of the same book?”
“I have an idea. We can read this book in tandem. So when we’re apart, we can somehow be connected. I’m really siked about this new book by Richard Bach. I loved Jonathan Living Seagull and Illusions. And when I saw the title of this new one, I thought, how appropriate. Go ahead read the title…”
Marissa read aloud, “The Bridge Across Forever, A Love Story.”
Nick’s eyes glistened, “See, isn’t it perfect for us to read together?”
Marissa smiled, “I don’t get you Nick. First you say we aren’t exclusive, then you get us a book to read together.”
“I’m pretty consistent, huh?” he said laughing at himself.
But Marissa remained serious. “Nick, does it bother you when I talk about Daniel?”
Nick hesitated before saying, “In the beginning it didn’t bother me at all. It was interesting to find out about your life, even your love life. More recently, yes I guess it bothers me sometimes when you talk about him.”
Marissa gazed into the eyes of the man who she now loved and said, “I’m really sorry. I won’t talk about him with you anymore.”
Nick shook his head, “Marissa, I want you to be as open as possible with me. That means telling me anything that’s on your mind.”
“But if it hurts you…” Marissa started to say.
“It doesn’t matter. There shouldn’t be jealousy between us,” Nick insisted.
“I know there shouldn’t be. But there’s a slight discrepancy between theory and reality sometimes.” Marissa sighed. “Speaking of reality, guess who was at the restaurant last night?”
“I couldn’t guess. Tell me.”
“Your employer and his wife.”
At that news Nick glanced around the bookshop paranoid.
Marissa laughed, “Nick, they’re not here. Why would they be in a new age bookshop? No, they were having dinner, practically next to us at the restaurant.”
Nick became serious. “So did you talk to them?”
“Well I tried to pretend not to see them but my mom walked right over to them. I didn’t want to talk to Mrs. Kowalski. She gives me the creeps,” said Marissa shuddering.
“Ditto!” Nick proclaimed.
“Anyway, she told my mother that I wasn’t tutoring this year as if it was some huge tragedy. I don’t know why but I get the feeling she’s out to get me. It’s so weird!”
“Yeah, she’s out to get you because you’re corrupting one of her teachers,�
�� Nick teased giving her a little shove.
Marissa leaned over and whacked him with the book.
“What did your mom say when you got home last night?”
“She basically screamed and yelled and threatened to throw me out of the house. The usual. What did your mom say?”
“Well, she wanted to know more about this young lady, Samira.”
“So what did you tell her?” asked Marissa curious.
“I told her that Samira is a very special friend of mine whom I hope she can meet soon.”
Marissa beamed. “You told her that!”
“Yes. But beyond that I’m clueless. I don’t want to tell them their nut ball son is dating a student from the high school where he teaches. But I don’t want to lie either,” admitted Nick.
“I understand,” nodded Marissa. “It’s weird, isn’t it? Having to hide like this. I couldn’t even begin to tell my parents.”
“Or your sister,” added Nick.
This time it was Marissa who became serious. “Nick, Pamela knows.”
“What?”
“I had to tell her because…” she squeezed her eyes shut, “Oh God, I didn’t want to tell you this. Because this past week, apparently, a rumor was going around the school that I was dating some teacher and the teacher people seemed to have been whispering about was you. “
“Oh great!” said Nick sarcastically.
“Listen, I don’t know who started the rumor, really. I’ve kept my mouth shut. We’ve been careful not to go anywhere near the school. Pamela told me about it. When she asked me point blank, I couldn’t lie to her Nick. She’s my sister. I love her more than my own parents. So I told her to tell everyone else that it was a blatant lie and that Daniel is still my boyfriend.”
Nick shook his head, “I don’t believe this Marissa. It’s November. November, for God’s sake. In three months, I’ve managed to date a student and have rumors spread about an affair with the same student, brilliant!”
Marissa got an idea. “Look, you’re going out with that girl Friday night. Why don’t you make an appearance at the football game? Everyone will think she is your girlfriend.”
Nick didn’t appear appeased. “Mariss, how do you know that Pamela won’t say anything? She’s fourteen! Fourteen-year-old girls talk.”
“Nick, Pamela won’t talk! I promise. She and I have this understanding. We have this pact. We don’t tell on each other. We’ve had to do that in the face of our parents. That’s what happens when you come from a dysfunctional family. You don’t have to worry about her.”
Nick shook his head again. “I need time to sort this out Marissa. Maybe we shouldn’t see each other for the next week to try and clear our heads. It’s hard for me to think straight when we’re together.”
Marissa became frightened at the prospect of purposefully putting their relationship on hold for a week. “Nick we’ve tried that, in the beginning, don’t you remember? We went for two weeks without speaking to each other and we were miserable. What are we going to gain by not speaking to each other for another week?”
“I have to…” he hesitated, “to make sure no rumor gets started again. I have to think of a way to stop this.”
By this Marissa wasn’t sure what he meant but she was scared. She couldn’t lose him.
Nick held up the book. His eyes softened. “We can still be connected. Let’s read a chapter a day for seven days. When we read it, we can think of each other.”
The proposition did not console Marissa in the least. Yet she was unsure of what to say to him to change what he felt. “O.K.” she said quietly. But she didn’t feel O.K.
Pamela handed her the phone as Marissa walked in the door. “It’s Dan.”
Inside Marissa cringed. She was so upset that she really didn’t want to talk to him or anyone for that matter. Letting out a deep sigh she put the phone to her ear. “Hello.”
“Hey Mariss,” Daniel began in a serious tone, “we need to talk.”
Marissa’s hands shook and her heart felt heavy because she knew what he was about to say. He didn’t need to say it because she knew. Yet she wanted him to say it. Even her voice shook as she spoke, “About what?”
“I, uh,” he stopped. “Fuck, I can’t believe I’m telling you this.”
A knot tightened in her stomach. “Tell me what?” she asked knowing full well the words he couldn’t say.
“I, uh, met,” he paused, “someone last night.”
Marissa had expected that but she had to find out more. “And?”
“And…she came home with me,” Daniel added.
The knot came up to her throat. “And did you…?” She stopped. She couldn’t even finish saying ‘Did you have sex with her?’ because to her it was unfathomable. Daniel was her boyfriend. He didn’t belong to some sleazy girl he met in a bar. The thought of him touching another girl enraged her.
“Yes,” he choked out through tears. “Mariss, I feel so guilty. I’m so sorry. It has just been…so long and I’m so lonely. I haven’t slept all night. I had to talk to you.”
Marissa’s face stung as if he had slapped her. Instinctively she brought her hand to her face. She too felt guilty. She hadn’t told him about Nick. But in her mind, she wasn’t unfaithful until she had sex with him. They had only kissed. And Daniel had cheated on her but he was honest. She had fallen in love with Nick and she wasn’t honest. She felt terrible but she was also angry and jealous, incredibly jealous.
“Marissa? Say something!” begged Daniel sobbing.
Jealousy overcame her. “Are you going to see her again?” She choked out.
“I don’t know. Probably not.”
“Probably not?” Marissa screamed over the phone.
“Mariss, we hang out at the same clubs. We’re bound to run into each other,” said Daniel annoyed.
“I mean Daniel, are you going to sleep with her again?”
“No Mariss, I’m not. I actually kicked her out of the house afterwards. I felt so miserable.”
Upon hearing this Marissa felt even guiltier. Falling in love with another man was far more damaging to their relationship than either one of them having a one-time affair. And she knew it, although she couldn’t admit it to herself. She reacted out of self-pity.
“O.K.” Marissa said as coldly as possible.
“O.K.? Is that all you have to say? O.K.?” yelled Daniel.
“What do you want me to say Daniel? That I’m pissed? That I feel betrayed and angry and jealous all at the same time? That I can’t imagine you holding and kissing and giving your beautiful body to another girl? Huh? Is that what you want me to say?” Marissa yelled back.
“Well it’s better than O.K.,” said Daniel.
“Look, I gotta go,” said Marissa regaining her composure.
“No Marissa please don’t hang up,” said Daniel desperately.
“Dan, please. This is too much for me right now. I need to let you go.”
“Can we talk later on today?”
“I don’t know,” she said and hung up the phone.
Throwing herself onto her bed she sobbed. For hours she cried tears of anger and pain over the two men she loved. At that moment in loving them, she discovered a deep loneliness that came from having such intense feelings for Nick and Daniel both of whom were pulling away her.
Chapter Thirteen
Marissa’s optimism resurfaced the next day as she headed out to school. Nick had taught her not to cry over things she couldn’t change. So she decided to work on things she could change. She intended on going for a job interview at the steakhouse and getting the job. She would save up enough money for California even if she had to work full-time. In addition to getting a job, she decided she would hang out with her friends over the weekend.
Still as she walked into the main doors of St. Mary’s High school that day, the knot in her stomach returned. Nick was in the same building and she couldn’t be near him. She couldn’t talk to him or touch him. There had been many da
ys before during which they couldn’t speak or even acknowledge each other’s presence inside the school walls. However, this time was different. They were at a turning point in their relationship. Feelings were becoming more intense. Marissa knew her feelings and she felt that Nick probably felt close to the same way about her. But at this point not knowing which way to turn, Nick might not choose to continue taking the risks they had been taking. And that is why Marissa felt an even more powerful desire to be near him.
Yet at the same time she was angry with him for purposefully alienating her. So she made the decision that while she was in the school building, she would avoid him at all costs. She would take different hallways and stay out of the cafeteria during lunch. Since she had open campus, she could go out for lunch.
Before class, Marissa caught up with Brogan. “Hey Brog, what’s up?”
Brogan smiled, “Hey girl, how’s your new ‘boyfriend’?”
Marissa turned pale. She had completely forgotten that she had told Brogan about Nick. “Shhhh, Brogan I don’t have any new boyfriend. Remember?”
Brogan slammed her locker shut. “Hey, chill out. Nobody’s going to know who I’m talking about.”
Marissa’s face relaxed, “O.K. you’re probably right. Anyway, I wanted to know if you were doing anything this coming weekend.”
“Mariss, it’s Monday. You’re already thinking about the weekend?”
“Listen, I’m just trying to make plans O.K. And I want to spend some time with my friends.”
“New boyfriend ditch you?” asked Brogan.
“No, it’s just that…I’ll explain later. So do you want to do something?” Marissa asked excitedly.
Brogan stopped in front of the math room. “O.K. Friday night Meg and I are going to the game. Then we’re going to a party. You can come if you want?”
Marissa was just about to say ‘great’ when she remembered that she had suggested to Nick to take his date there. She couldn’t go to the game. In fact she didn’t want to go and see him there with another girl. “Uh, Brogan. I can’t go to the game.”
Forbidden Fruit: An Unlikely Love Story Page 12